Happy.Gilmore.2.2025.WEBRip.en Subtitles

At 00:00:45,083, Character said: My name is Happy Gilmore.

2
At 00:00:48,375, Character said: Growing up, I always
wanted to be a hockey player.

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At 00:00:51,708, Character said: But then 30 years ago,
I picked up a golf club.

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At 00:00:57,875, Character said: Turned out to be a pretty good decision.

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At 00:00:59,916, Character said: And Happy Gilmore wins
the 98th U.S. Open.

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At 00:01:03,916, Character said: I g***t to marry
a great lady named Virginia,

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At 00:01:07,041, Character said: and we had a son named Gordy.

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At 00:01:09,708, Character said: The wins didn't always come as expected,

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At 00:01:12,333, Character said: but like Grandma always said,

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At 00:01:14,291, Character said: sometimes it's better
to be lucky than good.

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At 00:01:18,083, Character said: Oh, Lord!

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At 00:01:20,708, Character said: I made it!

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At 00:01:23,166, Character said: Yeah, I was getting lucky
in more ways than one.

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At 00:01:26,333, Character said: He shoots, he scores!

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At 00:01:28,416, Character said: And after our fourth boy in four years,

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At 00:01:30,500, Character said: Virginia had an idea for an endorsement.

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At 00:01:33,333, Character said: Trojan. Kids are great…

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At 00:01:37,708, Character said: …in moderation.

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At 00:01:39,333, Character said: What are you doing? Calm down!

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At 00:01:42,125, Character said: {\an8} I tried to get the boys
into competitive golf tournaments…

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At 00:01:47,333, Character said: Follow that.

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At 00:01:48,416, Character said: But their hockey instincts
were too strong.

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At 00:01:52,500, Character said: Boys, stop! Come on,
what are you doing?

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At 00:01:57,916, Character said: {\an8} Tiger Woods had a video game,
so we did a Happy Gilmore one.

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At 00:02:01,791, Character said: {\an8} But I think the computer guys
made it a little too realistic.

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At 00:02:05,125, Character said: {\an8} You've had enough.

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At 00:02:06,250, Character said: {\an8} Anyways, the boys loved
how violent it was,

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At 00:02:08,916, Character said: but it made my little girl nervous.

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At 00:02:11,208, Character said: That's right,
we finally had a little girl,

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At 00:02:14,000, Character said: sweet Vienna, Mommy's new best friend.

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At 00:02:17,250, Character said: {\an8} Oh, and I hosted Saturday Night Live
a few times. That was nice.

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At 00:02:20,625, Character said: {\an8} The Spice Girls are here!

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At 00:02:22,541, Character said: Maroon 5 is here!

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At 00:02:24,041, Character said: {\an8} The Weeknd is here!
So stick around, we'll be right back.

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At 00:02:28,333, Character said: Yeah, we had it all, so I told Virginia…

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At 00:02:31,458, Character said: We should just retire
so we can hang out with the kids all day.

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At 00:02:35,125, Character said: We're not done with golf, Happy.

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At 00:02:36,833, Character said: And golf's not done with us.

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At 00:02:38,750, Character said: It's like Chubbs used to say.
We've only just begun.

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At 00:02:42,625, Character said: Hmm.

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At 00:02:44,708, Character said: Gordy!

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At 00:02:45,875, Character said: Oh, come on,
don't pee on the slip-n-slide.

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At 00:02:48,125, Character said: Appreciate your time today.
It's Mother's Day.

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At 00:02:50,083, Character said: We honor all of the mothers
who are watching.

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At 00:02:52,166, Character said: Let's go real deep now!

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At 00:02:53,666, Character said: But in golf,
even when you're at the top of your game…

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At 00:02:57,708, Character said: you can always shank one.

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At 00:03:03,625, Character said: Uh-oh.

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At 00:03:06,708, Character said: After the funeral, I decided
I would never pick up a golf club again.

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At 00:03:12,666, Character said: I was now
a single father of five children.

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At 00:03:16,000, Character said: There was really
only one thing I could do…

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At 00:03:19,583, Character said: I'd never been a big boozer,

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At 00:03:21,083, Character said: but alcohol was the only thing
that helped me

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At 00:03:23,375, Character said: {\an8} to forget what I'd done
to the sweetest woman I'd ever known.

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At 00:03:27,166, Character said: {\an8} -Oh, one more thing…
-It's no good.

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At 00:03:28,958, Character said: {\an8} The money.

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At 00:03:30,958, Character said: Give me the…

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At 00:03:33,750, Character said: No, no, dude! Come on, man.

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At 00:03:36,333, Character said: See, Virginia always handled
the finances,

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At 00:03:38,875, Character said: so without her,
a lot of stuff fell through the cracks.

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At 00:03:41,791, Character said: Should I smash the window?

62
At 00:03:43,500, Character said: Then I caught some guy
trying to break into my Ferrari.

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At 00:03:46,875, Character said: Hey, can you hold my beer?

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At 00:03:48,708, Character said: Yeah.

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At 00:03:51,833, Character said: The guy wasn't a thief, he was a repo man.

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At 00:03:54,166, Character said: Can you let me explain?

67
At 00:03:55,416, Character said: Turns out I didn't know
I had to renew the lease.

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At 00:03:58,375, Character said: The big baby sued me,
and I lost everything…

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At 00:04:01,916, Character said: including Grandma's house,
which was devastating.

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At 00:04:18,000, Character said: The boys had to
move into an apartment together,

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At 00:04:20,458, Character said: and me and Vienna
found a new place that was affordable.

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At 00:04:26,416, Character said: It's not the best neighborhood,
but it's walkable to my new job.

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At 00:04:32,166, Character said: Gary, can you pick up in section 2?

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At 00:04:44,750, Character said: Happy Gilmore.
Oh, my God, I'm such a massive fan.

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At 00:04:48,250, Character said: Okay, bro, what can I help you with?

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At 00:04:50,166, Character said: You ever hear of Maxi Sports Drink?

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At 00:04:52,250, Character said: I think that's aisle four.

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At 00:04:53,833, Character said: No. It's my company, I own it.

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At 00:04:56,000, Character said: I'm Frank Manatee.

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At 00:04:57,291, Character said: My real passion is this cutting-edge
golf project that I've been working on.

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At 00:05:01,583, Character said: I don't golf no more, brother.

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At 00:05:04,208, Character said: Cucumber juice in there?

83
At 00:05:05,625, Character said: Sure.

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At 00:05:07,083, Character said: Anyway, I figured
maybe you would start golfing again

85
At 00:05:09,250, Character said: once you heard
how huge this league was gonna be.

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At 00:05:11,333, Character said: I wish you luck, but I'm not interested.

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At 00:05:13,583, Character said: See, that's the thing.
Nobody's interested in traditional golf.

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At 00:05:16,250, Character said: It's a boring sport
played by boring people.

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At 00:05:18,916, Character said: They ain't boring, they're my friends.

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At 00:05:20,916, Character said: You don't understand.
You inspired this thing, all right?

91
At 00:05:23,541, Character said: And I love you,
and I'd hate to see you pass this up

92
At 00:05:25,833, Character said: and have your life turn out
worse than it already is.

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At 00:05:29,125, Character said: I get it. Golf makes you tense, right?

94
At 00:05:31,458, Character said: Because the whole wife thing?

95
At 00:05:32,875, Character said: Get your skunk breath
out of my face, or I swear to God--

96
At 00:05:35,250, Character said: Or what, tough guy?
You're not gonna do a d***n thing about it,

97
At 00:05:37,875, Character said: because if you lay one finger on me,
you're going right to jail.

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At 00:05:41,541, Character said: That's if I get caught.

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At 00:05:44,958, Character said: Operations.

100
At 00:05:46,000, Character said: Hey, Linda, can you turn
the security cameras off for 90 seconds?

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At 00:05:59,958, Character said: Seven, eight. Fouetté, fouetté. Finish.

102
At 00:06:06,166, Character said: Great. Arms, fifth. Soutenu.

103
At 00:06:11,541, Character said: Fouetté, fouetté.

104
At 00:06:14,833, Character said: Arms, fifth.

105
At 00:06:17,541, Character said: Soutenu. Chaîné, chaîné.

106
At 00:06:21,833, Character said: And arabesque.

107
At 00:06:25,416, Character said: Look at that.

108
At 00:06:27,208, Character said: Daddy!

109
At 00:06:28,333, Character said: Hey, Vienna.

110
At 00:06:30,875, Character said: Oh, with the kicks!
Hey. The Rockettes are here.

111
At 00:06:35,916, Character said: Glad you're home.

112
At 00:06:37,333, Character said: You were a clue on Jeopardy!
Let me show you.

113
At 00:06:39,500, Character said: Really?

114
At 00:06:40,875, Character said: Okay. Hi.

115
At 00:06:42,625, Character said: Hi.

116
At 00:06:43,625, Character said: How'd my girl do today?

117
At 00:06:45,333, Character said: Great. Beyond great.
She needs a better teacher than me.

118
At 00:06:49,000, Character said: - Look.
- Yeah.

119
At 00:06:50,166, Character said: With his amazing long drives
and hockey player's temper,

120
At 00:06:52,833, Character said: {\an8} this golfer won the first of his six
Tour Championships in 1996. Carter?

121
At 00:06:58,083, Character said: {\an8}Who is Happy Goldberg?

122
At 00:06:59,458, Character said: {\an8}Sorry, no. L***g.

123
At 00:07:01,250, Character said: {\an8}Who is Happy Gudenstein?

124
At 00:07:02,958, Character said: {\an8}Nope. Jana.

125
At 00:07:04,875, Character said: {\an8}Who is Skippy Goldenbaum?

126
At 00:07:07,541, Character said: {\an8}That is incorrect.

127
At 00:07:09,375, Character said: He is Jewish,
but we were looking for Happy Gilmore.

128
At 00:07:12,541, Character said: At least he knew it.

129
At 00:07:13,958, Character said: I'm making your grandma's
brisket for dinner.

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