What.Other.Couples.Do.2013.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX] Subtitles

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00:00:08,548 --> 00:00:11,(Ryan) So, what do you want to do today?

00:00:11,502 --> 00:00:15,Um. I think I'm gonna get some work done. Do you mind?

00:00:15,907 --> 00:00:18,No, I'll get some work done, too.

00:00:18,943 --> 00:00:22,(Sound of a baby crying in another room)

00:00:31,733 --> 00:00:34,Are you seriously pretending to be asleep right now?

00:00:34,887 --> 00:00:36,(Dave) What?

00:00:36,033 --> 00:00:38,Get up! It's your turn.

00:00:38,758 --> 00:00:40,I g***t up at three.

00:00:40,550 --> 00:00:41,I g***t up at five.

00:00:42,101 --> 00:00:43,I went to bed at one.

00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:45,You were wasting time online.

00:00:45,684 --> 00:00:47,I was writing!

00:00:58,322 --> 00:00:59,Hey, hon.

00:00:59,902 --> 00:01:01,Hey. What're you doing today?

00:01:01,642 --> 00:01:03,Working. I'm about to head over to Trey's.

00:01:03,978 --> 00:01:05,You have to be back by, like, 5:30.

00:01:05,598 --> 00:01:06,I will be.

00:01:06,498 --> 00:01:07,'kay.

00:01:08,238 --> 00:01:10,Don't you and Trey ever get sick of each other?

00:01:10,828 --> 00:01:12,Lisa, he's my brother.

00:01:13,862 --> 00:01:17,I know, I just miss spending Saturdays with you.

00:01:17,513 --> 00:01:21,We literally have three scripts due this week, so...

00:01:21,887 --> 00:01:23,What're you doing here?

00:01:23,397 --> 00:01:24,Working out.

00:01:24,507 --> 00:01:25,Are those three pounds?

00:01:25,597 --> 00:01:26,Yeah.

00:01:26,867 --> 00:01:27,Can I feel it?

00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:29,This isn't gonna do anything.

00:01:29,527 --> 00:01:31,You might as well be standing here, with no weights, just moving your arms back and forth.

00:01:31,661 --> 00:01:33,Can't believe they sell these things.

00:01:33,425 --> 00:01:34,Stop it.

00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:35,You can't--no--

00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,It's for toning. I don't like to sweat.

00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:40,I love you.

00:01:41,585 --> 00:01:42,Don't be late!

00:01:42,931 --> 00:01:44,I won't!

00:01:49,701 --> 00:01:52,We haven't had s***x in a while.

00:01:52,464 --> 00:01:53,It's bullshit!

00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:58,(She laughs) Well, we could do something about it right now.

00:01:58,234 --> 00:02:00,Bree. I'm never gonna say no.

00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:06,Why ** I the only one who ever starts the dishwasher?

00:02:06,766 --> 00:02:08,You didn't start the dishwasher!

00:02:08,612 --> 00:02:10,(Dave, offscreen) What?!

00:02:10,656 --> 00:02:11,Nothing.

00:02:12,847 --> 00:02:15,Here, baby. Gonna sit right there.

00:02:19,719 --> 00:02:21,Mm-hm.

00:02:21,497 --> 00:02:23,What's that?

00:02:24,775 --> 00:02:26,What?

00:02:26,365 --> 00:02:27,Nice 30-minute shower.

00:02:27,975 --> 00:02:29,It was 16 minutes. I timed it.

00:02:29,955 --> 00:02:33,How is it that I can get myself and the kids ready in the same amount of time it takes you to get yourself ready?

00:02:33,955 --> 00:02:37,Well, remember how we read that men's brains aren't wired for multi-tasking?

00:02:37,805 --> 00:02:42,Well, how about finishing a single task? Like, you never start the dishwasher.

00:02:42,035 --> 00:02:44,I start the dishwasher all the time.

00:02:44,015 --> 00:02:47,You think if you do something once every three weeks, you do it regularly.

00:02:47,285 --> 00:02:49,Well, once every three weeks IS regularly.

00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:52,Oh my ga. I want to kill you right now!

00:02:52,614 --> 00:02:53,(Josh) I'm anxious about tonight.

00:02:53,844 --> 00:02:55,Why? It's gonna be fun.

00:02:55,354 --> 00:02:59,It's gonna be awkward as hell. You shouldn't have set it up.

00:03:01,854 --> 00:03:05,You just, you have to admit, you like to stir the pot.

00:03:05,695 --> 00:03:09,It was Ginger's suggestion. And Chris was fine with it.

00:03:09,910 --> 00:03:16,I'll bet. Is he bringing that girl? The one that he cheated with?

00:03:16,004 --> 00:03:21,No. No. They're each coming alone. They agreed.

00:03:22,089 --> 00:03:27,Poor Ginger. I'll bet she's still a mess.

00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:29,(Michelle) I've been thinking about Ginger.

00:03:29,866 --> 00:03:31,(Dave) Poor Ginger.

00:03:31,469 --> 00:03:35,I don't think it's a good idea for her to be spending so much time in Texas.

00:03:35,943 --> 00:03:41,Last time she came back, she'd eaten so much fried food, all she could fit into was her sweatpants.

00:03:41,226 --> 00:03:43,Jesus.

00:03:43,655 --> 00:03:46,Marriage is like a business contract.

00:03:46,984 --> 00:03:50,Each party signs the contract because they're getting certain things out of the deal--

00:03:50,834 --> 00:03:53,And when Chris married Ginger, part of the deal was that she was slim and attractive.

00:03:53,994 --> 00:03:57,Okay, but you shouldn't have to worry about your spouse cheating on you--

00:03:57,008 --> 00:03:59,just because you've gained some weight over the years.

00:03:59,752 --> 00:04:02,SOME weight?

00:04:02,306 --> 00:04:07,Okay, Ginger's gotten huge. But it's hard for her 'cause she's such a good cook.

00:04:07,264 --> 00:04:11,I mean, I don't know how Chris stayed so slim all these years.

00:04:11,712 --> 00:04:15,He's self-disciplined because he's vain.

00:04:15,252 --> 00:04:20,I always knew he was going to cheat. There's no way a guy who's that good-looking is going to stay faithful.

00:04:20,002 --> 00:04:24,You sound like you would've cheated with him if you'd had the chance.

00:04:24,103 --> 00:04:25,Unh--

00:04:25,730 --> 00:04:28,Whatever. He was crazy to cheat on her.

00:04:28,105 --> 00:04:30,She's cool and she cooks, like, a four-course dinner every night.

00:04:30,832 --> 00:04:33,I mean, who cares about s***x when you can eat like a king?

00:04:34,609 --> 00:04:37,(Ryan) We're not leaving until we own this town.

00:04:37,887 --> 00:04:40,Not this side, not the Valley. The other side.

00:04:40,873 --> 00:04:42,I've been thinking about Ginger.

00:04:42,413 --> 00:04:44,Ah. Poor Ginger.

00:04:45,632 --> 00:04:52,Then I started thinking about our sisters and your mother and my mother and all the women we know.

00:04:52,713 --> 00:04:55,And it's like we've seen them all act a little crazy.

00:04:55,404 --> 00:04:57,Mm.

00:04:57,156 --> 00:05:01,So, I'm developing this theory. That all women occasionally act nuts.

00:05:01,310 --> 00:05:05,It's just a question of how nuts--like, where are they on the continuum.

00:05:05,464 --> 00:05:09,Yeah, well, that's what I like about women. I think it's cool how they can be unpredictable.

00:05:09,619 --> 00:05:16,It's holding us back. You know, it makes men uncomfortable because they're only used to experiencing one emotion.

00:05:16,313 --> 00:05:20,Or maybe several. But you know it all funnels down to the same one--anger.

00:05:20,349 --> 00:05:22,And then they snap and kill their whole family.

00:05:22,795 --> 00:05:25,So, all men are angry?

00:05:25,722 --> 00:05:28,Well, what blanket statement can we make about men?

00:05:28,917 --> 00:05:33,It's what Thoreau said. Most are leading lives of quiet desperation.

00:05:33,644 --> 00:05:36,You know, they go to work and they help with the kids and they take out the trash

00:05:36,869 --> 00:05:40,And then they go to work and they help with the kids and they take out the trash...

00:05:40,804 --> 00:05:42,And the whole time? They're daydreaming.

00:05:42,713 --> 00:05:47,About being big and important and powerful and screwing Scarlett Johansson. Or whoever.

00:05:48,242 --> 00:05:50,I'll buy that.

00:05:50,042 --> 00:05:52,You want to have s***x with Scarlett Johansson?

00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:55,No, I meant I buy your theory, overall.

00:05:55,641 --> 00:05:58,(Bree) You don't want to have s***x with her?

00:05:58,270 --> 00:06:00,I don't find her attractive.

00:06:00,863 --> 00:06:02,Right!

00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:06,Believe it or not, when I fantasize about having s***x, it's with you.

00:06:06,362 --> 00:06:08,Always?

00:06:09,047 --> 00:06:11,You never imagine yourself having s***x with anyone but me?

00:06:11,441 --> 00:06:15,And you never imagine yourself having s***x with anybody but me?

00:06:16,624 --> 00:06:19,I wish neither one of us were ever attracted to anyone else.

00:06:19,398 --> 00:06:24,It IS like that. Mostly. Seriously.

00:06:24,188 --> 00:06:33,It's like everything is built on a foundation of little white lies. We're living in a house of cards.

00:06:38,383 --> 00:06:41,Who needs four cars?!

00:06:41,452 --> 00:06:45,I know. I guess they haven't heard about the fossil fuel situation.

00:06:45,044 --> 00:06:47,Michelle. We drive an SUV and a station wagon.

00:06:47,710 --> 00:06:49,Yeah, but our next cars are going to be hybrids.

00:06:49,581 --> 00:06:52,Oh, well, we can start judging people once we get them.

00:06:52,669 --> 00:06:54,'kay.

00:06:54,384 --> 00:06:56,(Dave) You should find out if he's hiring.

00:06:56,418 --> 00:06:57,(Michelle) Ugh.

00:06:57,137 --> 00:06:58,(Dave) You haven't staffed in three...