ENG Scary.Movie.3.2003.UNRATED.720p.BluRay.x264.650MB-Mkvking Subtitles

00:00:24,899 --> 00:00:26,...day after day you want.

00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,A store that one might...

00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:34,I hate television. It gives me headaches.

00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:37,You know, there's so many magnetic waves
traveling in the airspace

00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:39,because of TV and television,

00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:42,we're losing ten times as many
brain cells as we're supposed to.

00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:44,Please!

00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:49,"The cow says blank." Three letters.

00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:51,Dude!

00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:54,"Dude." I don't know.

00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:56,Magnetic waves, brain cells.

00:00:56,639 --> 00:00:58,I don't understand the connection
between all that stuff.

00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,You know what else I heard?

00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:03,Magnetic waves shrink silicone molecules.

00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,Oh, my God! Turn it off!

00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:11,-It's not working!
-It's backwards!

00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,-What do we do?
-I don't know!

00:01:12,363 --> 00:01:13,Oh, God!

00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:20,Thank God. I can't afford to get any smaller.

00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:23,Come on. You're beautiful.

00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,I wish I had your legs.

00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:27,I wish I had your butt.

00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:29,-I wish I had your...
-Shaved p***y?

00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:32,Nobody's getting Snowball.

00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:37,Okay. That thing's kind of scary, anyway.

00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:40,-I know something even scarier.
-What?

00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:41,Have you heard about this videotape?

00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:43,The one where they do it on the boat?

00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:45,And then in the car?
And then in the bathtub?

00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:48,And he's, like, "Hey, baby, I love you."
And she's, like, "Where are we?"

00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,-And did you see the...
-No. Not that tape.

00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,The one with all the scary images.

00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,You know, after you watch the tape,
the phone rings,

00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:59,and this really scary voice comes on
and says you're gonna die in, like...

00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,Seven days.
Yeah, I saw that one with Josh last weekend.

00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:05,You were with Josh last weekend?
Oh, my God!

00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:07,My God!

00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:09,Oh, yes, I was.

00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:12,You ho!

00:02:15,593 --> 00:02:17,You know it!

00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:33,-This is really weird.
-Yeah.

00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:36,Big house, only one phone.

00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:50,Hello?

00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:54,I'm coming for you, my precious.

00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:58,-Hi, Mom.
-Hi, precious. Having fun?

00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:02,Ask her which bathroom
has a detachable showerhead.

00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:05,Anyway, we're just about to go to bed.

00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:09,No. Not like that.

00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:12,Well, I guess a woman
would know how to touch a...

00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:19,Hello?

00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:20,Katie?

00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:35,Are you okay?

00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:11,God!

00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:45,Tom, did you hear...

00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:47,The dogs are acting strange.

00:06:10,244 --> 00:06:11,Sue!

00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:15,What are you doing out here?
We were worried sick.

00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,What's wrong?

00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,I wonder what they're trying to tell us.

00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:42,And now, Washington, D.C.'s
leading morning news program,

00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:43,the Morning News.

00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:45,Good morning. I'm Ross Giggins.

00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:48,For our top story,
we turn now to Cindy Campbell.

00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:49,Thank you, Ross.

00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:52,There's a developing story
in Middleburg at this hour.

00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:57,A mysterious crop circle appeared
in local farmer, Tom Logan's cornfield.

00:06:57,166 --> 00:07:00,Elaborate prank
or extraterrestrial phenomenon?

00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,We'll update you
as soon as we have any further information,

00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:09,but, either way, it's clear something strange
is happening in that small town. Ross?

00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.

00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:14,Coming up, more news after this.

00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,-Cindy, you g***t a second?
-Sure.

00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:21,I want you to take a look at this
for that big strip-club exposé.

00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,But I'd rather stick with the crop circle story.

00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,Come on.
You know those things are just a hoax.

00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:28,No, I'm telling you,
I sense something about that cornfield.

00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:33,Call it women's intuition or ESPN or both,
but I can tell when danger's near. I just...

00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:39,-My eyes!
-Cindy, it's sweeps month.

00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,Ratings mean everything.

00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:45,People want human-interest stories,
like the one you did yesterday.

00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,The report on breast augmentation?

00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,It was just ten minutes of topless women.

00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,I mean, come on.

00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,-Wow!
-Why are these so interesting?

00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:56,For God's sake!

00:07:57,685 --> 00:07:58,People don't care about this.

00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:02,They want hard-hitting stories
and in-depth coverage and... And...

00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:03,And twins!

00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:27,You think it was the Kreisel boys
who cut that stuff into your corn?

00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,All I know is my crops are gone.

00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:33,The bank's gonna foreclose
if I can't pay the rent.

00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:37,I g***t 60 days to come up with $1.50.

00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:41,I'm sorry.
The last thing you needed was more...

00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,...hardship in your life.

00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:46,Especially after what happened to your...

00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:49,Sheriff, I don't need your sympathy.

00:08:49,403 --> 00:08:51,I didn't mean to upset you, Father.

00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:54,Please. I'm not a minister anymore.

00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:57,I lost my faith that terrible night.

00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:03,Your faith will return,
just as sure as the sun will rise.

00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:04,Sounds like a long shot.

00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:09,Look, there's always an explanation
for all this so-called phenomenon.

00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:10,Maybe you're right.

00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,It was probably just the Kreisels.

00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:14,And when I get through with them,

00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:18,I doubt you'll be seeing anything strange
on this farm for a long time.

00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,You'll see.

00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:24,You all right, Tom? Get some rest.

00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:38,George!

00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:43,I need you back here tomorrow night
after you pick up Sue.

00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:44,That tractor needs fixing.

00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,Sorry, dawg. I can't help you.
I have to get ready for my show.

00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:50,Not that stupid hip-hop stuff again.

00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:53,D***n it, George, when are you gonna
do something with your life?

00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:54,-I g***t a dream!
-What is your dream?

00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:55,To have a dream.

00:09:56,429 --> 00:10:00,George, all you've done
is chase adolescent fantasies.

00:10:00,224 --> 00:10:04,"I wanna be an astronaut, a cowboy,
gynecologist to the stars."

00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:05,And now, this stupid hip-hop thing.

00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:09,For your information,
this hip-hop thing is gonna get me paid.

00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:11,I'm gonna win that rap battle
tomorrow night.

00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:13,Rap battle? For God's sakes.

00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,You just hate me 'cause I'm black.

00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:18,You don't have any faith in me.

00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:20,You don't have any faith
in anything anymore.

00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:24,So why don't you just worry about you,
and I'll worry about...

00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:43,Cody.

00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:46,You're late again, Aunt Cindy.

00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:49,I'm sorry. I was stuck in traffic.

00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:52,-Cindy!
-Brenda, hi!

00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,It's great to see you!

00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:58,-It's...