Married.With.Children.S08E09.No.Maam.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-Azkars_track3_[eng] Subtitles

At 00:01:16,219, Character said: Oh, quick, Bud.

2
At 00:01:22,293, Character said: Change the channel.
It's sweeps month...

3
At 00:01:24,296, Character said: ...so Christian Slater's
gonna show America his butt.

4
At 00:01:28,634, Character said: Kelly, now, this may come
as a surprise to you...

5
At 00:01:32,205, Character said: ...then again, the fact
that people can ride...

6
At 00:01:34,542, Character said: ...upright in the backseat of a car
came as a surprise to you.

7
At 00:01:38,145, Character said: There are far more important things
than Christian Slater's butt.

8
At 00:01:41,650, Character said: Now, for instance, the president's
giving an important press conference.

9
At 00:01:45,221, Character said: We interrupt the press conference...

10
At 00:01:47,290, Character said: ...for live coverage
of Christian Slater's butt.

11
At 00:01:57,670, Character said: Move over, kids.
It's time for our favorite talk show.

12
At 00:02:01,507, Character said: But, Mom, we were watching
the president's press conference.

13
At 00:02:06,046, Character said: That jogging's
been doing him some good.

14
At 00:02:12,387, Character said: Live, from Chicago...

15
At 00:02:14,122, Character said: ...it's Jerry Springer,
the masculine feminist.

16
At 00:02:20,330, Character said: Good evening, women,
I'm Jerry Springer...

17
At 00:02:22,967, Character said: ...and I ** proud to be living
in your world.

18
At 00:02:28,406, Character said: Before we start, I wanna take a moment
to apologize on behalf of all men...

19
At 00:02:33,179, Character said: ...for the disgusting way
Burt has mistreated Loni.

20
At 00:02:40,420, Character said: Good move, Burt.

21
At 00:02:41,923, Character said: And Cop and 1/2? Good movie too.

22
At 00:02:46,629, Character said: I mean, when are men
gonna realize...

23
At 00:02:49,698, Character said: ...that women are this world's
most precious natural resource?

24
At 00:02:54,504, Character said: Except, of course, for our sponsor.

25
At 00:02:59,778, Character said: I Can't Believe It's A Tampon.

26
At 00:03:05,218, Character said: It feels so natural you're gonna wish
it was always that time of the month.

27
At 00:03:14,629, Character said: A masculine feminist.
What does that mean?

28
At 00:03:17,799, Character said: It means he likes show tunes.

29
At 00:03:21,938, Character said: Would that they all did.

30
At 00:03:24,408, Character said: Jerry has the hottest
talk show around.

31
At 00:03:27,077, Character said: Is he gonna show his butt?

32
At 00:03:29,747, Character said: Jerry is politically correct.

33
At 00:03:32,016, Character said: He's keeping his butt
covered until all women are free.

34
At 00:03:36,221, Character said: I wish Al would.

35
At 00:03:38,892, Character said: At least until all women
were warned.

36
At 00:03:42,162, Character said: Well, Jerry's not just a talker.
He's a doer.

37
At 00:03:44,598, Character said: Last week he found out there was no
bowling alley in this part of town...

38
At 00:03:48,103, Character said: ...with a ladies-only night.
So Jerry did something about it.

39
At 00:03:51,106, Character said: We had a bloat-in.

40
At 00:03:55,645, Character said: A hundred of us waited
until we were really grumpy...

41
At 00:03:58,315, Character said: ...then stormed the bowling alley and
chained ourselves to the ball returns.

42
At 00:04:02,420, Character said: Which, in hindsight,
turned out to be an error.

43
At 00:04:06,524, Character said: At least those little blower things
were kind of enjoyable.

44
At 00:04:11,698, Character said: But what's important
is that Jerry helped women...

45
At 00:04:14,468, Character said: ...finally get a bowling night,
which is tonight.

46
At 00:04:17,105, Character said: -Some guys lost their bowling night.
-Yeah, I wonder who.

47
At 00:04:24,847, Character said: Hi, honey. I'm home.

48
At 00:04:35,827, Character said: Why ** I early
on what used to be my bowling night?

49
At 00:04:39,064, Character said: Good question.
Thank you for asking.

50
At 00:04:41,567, Character said: Well, as I entered the bowling alley
ready for an exciting night...

51
At 00:04:44,871, Character said: ...of bonding, brewskies
and barfing...

52
At 00:04:47,074, Character said: ...what did I see?
Women. Bowling. Overhand.

53
At 00:04:53,748, Character said: Naturally, I went up
to one of these donut depositories...

54
At 00:04:56,585, Character said: ...and said in my nicest voice:

55
At 00:04:58,254, Character said: "Wedge it out the door, beefalo,
it's my night to bowl."

56
At 00:05:02,259, Character said: Instead of coming back at me verbally,
like I did...

57
At 00:05:04,796, Character said: ...they took their doughy fists
and they pounded on me...

58
At 00:05:07,398, Character said: ...until a mutual agreement
was reached that I leave.

59
At 00:05:11,103, Character said: Anyway, when I regained
consciousness in a burning trash can...

60
At 00:05:14,140, Character said: ...I realized, A, Thursday nights
is now ladies' night...

61
At 00:05:18,746, Character said: ...and B, you don't wanna know
how a bum puts out a trash-can fire.

62
At 00:05:26,555, Character said: Congratulations
to those fine women in Chicago...

63
At 00:05:28,958, Character said: ...for what they achieved
at Jim's Bowl-A-Rama.

64
At 00:05:31,694, Character said: That's the pantywaist that cost me
my bowling night.

65
At 00:05:35,032, Character said: Now we've gotta get the bowling alley
to enlarge the women's restroom.

66
At 00:05:39,104, Character said: And what about mothers
who wanna nurse?

67
At 00:05:41,506, Character said: I propose a lactation lounge.

68
At 00:05:45,811, Character said: I propose a dairy farmer.

69
At 00:05:51,118, Character said: Quiet, Klingon.

70
At 00:05:53,187, Character said: Let's take some phone calls.

71
At 00:05:55,256, Character said: Well, believe you me,
this outrage shall not go unavenged.

72
At 00:05:59,194, Character said: -Al, don't you think women deserve--
-No!

73
At 00:06:03,333, Character said: Just don't embarrass us, honey.

74
At 00:06:05,268, Character said: -Is the caller there?
-Al Bundy here.

75
At 00:06:08,239, Character said: Too late.

76
At 00:06:09,807, Character said: Now, listen here, Jerry.
Bowling is a man's sport.

77
At 00:06:13,145, Character said: If God had wanted women to bowl,
he would've put breasts on backs...

78
At 00:06:16,549, Character said: ...so we would have something to watch
while waiting our turn.

79
At 00:06:24,091, Character said: And where are you
calling from, sir, 1952?

80
At 00:06:30,566, Character said: I wish. Ike was in the White House,
women were in the kitchen...

81
At 00:06:34,170, Character said: ...and you were in the closet.

82
At 00:06:38,369, Character said: And you forgot to mention
where you were, sir.

83
At 00:06:40,700, Character said: I suspect in a zoo someplace, throwing
your feces at a passing tourist.

84
At 00:06:47,264, Character said: Once again, I wish.

85
At 00:06:49,896, Character said: Enough of that call.
Let's take another one.

86
At 00:06:52,061, Character said: You and your thundering herds...

87
At 00:06:53,760, Character said: ...may think you won,
but let me tell you something.

88
At 00:06:56,425, Character said: Thursday nights have always been
men's bowling nights.

89
At 00:06:59,020, Character said: And mark my words.
Next Thursday men will be bowling!

90
At 00:07:01,814, Character said: And mark my words.
Next Thursday men will be bowling!

91
At 00:07:09,652, Character said: All right, nice spare, Jim.

92
At 00:07:11,185, Character said: If you shift
your weight to your rear foot--

93
At 00:07:13,417, Character said: This is ridiculous.
I worked hard all week.

94
At 00:07:16,349, Character said: I'm not gonna sit home
on bowling night.

95
At 00:07:18,648, Character said: Well, we can't go back
to the bowling alley.

96
At 00:07:20,847, Character said: Those women are too strong.

97
At 00:07:22,746, Character said: We can't go home. We're too weak.

98
At 00:07:25,944, Character said: Hey, I g***t it.
We can go to a movie.

99
At 00:07:27,810, Character said: -Hey, yeah.
-Yeah.

100
At 00:07:30,775, Character said: Hey, Peg.

101
At 00:07:32,541, Character said: Peg, do we have a paper?

102
At 00:07:36,405, Character said: Thank you.

103
At 00:07:38,605, Character said: All right, let's see what's playing.

104
At 00:07:43,869, Character said: Hey!

105
At 00:07:48,800, Character said: Here's a gripping drama
about a newlywed couple...

106
At 00:07:51,265, Character said: ...waiting for their furniture to arrive.

107
At 00:07:53,530, Character said: It's called, Where, Oh,
Where is the Mayflower Man?

108
At 00:07:57,595, Character said: -Any b***s?
-William Hurt and Glenn Close.

109
At 00:08:00,960, Character said: -Oh, jeez.
-Sounds like it blows.

110
At 00:08:03,359, Character said: We could go to the newsstand
and buy a magazine.

111
At 00:08:06,157, Character said: -Yeah, but where could we hide it?
-How about in your wife's hair?

112
At 00:08:10,022, Character said: How about in your wife's chin?

113
At 00:08:14,653, Character said: -Come on, now!
-Come on.

114
At 00:08:16,652, Character said: Come on, they're making us turn
against each other.

115
At 00:08:19,151, Character said: -There must be something we can do.
-I know where we can go.

116
At 00:08:23,116, Character said: To the last great bastion
for the American red-blooded male.

117
At 00:08:27,180, Character said: Where there is no such thing
as ladies' night.

118
At 00:08:30,579, Character said: At the nudie bar!

119
At 00:08:40,040, Character said: Where a buck's enough
to see their stuff.

120
At 00:08:42,638, Character said: At the nudie bar!

121