Married.With.Children.S08E10.Dancing.With.Weezie.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-Azkars_track3_[eng] Subtitles

00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:17,Oh, my God, Mom. I found it!

00:01:17,287 --> 00:01:20,Oh, it must have been
decomposing down here for months.

00:01:20,686 --> 00:01:22,What are we gonna do
when he gets it out?

00:01:22,820 --> 00:01:26,Well, I guess we'll just say a prayer
and flush it down the toilet...

00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,...like we did
when your goldfish died.

00:01:29,686 --> 00:01:31,Okay, back, people! Back!

00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:34,Now, give me some room!
Give me some room!

00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:41,God, it stinks.

00:01:41,653 --> 00:01:44,Did you find his other bowling shoe
down there?

00:01:45,619 --> 00:01:47,No, just the eyelets.

00:01:48,719 --> 00:01:50,I'm gonna go throw this thing
in the back yard.

00:01:51,086 --> 00:01:54,That's a good idea, honey.
Just put it out with Buck's house.

00:01:54,852 --> 00:01:58,You know how he likes to roll around
with your father's old things.

00:02:03,785 --> 00:02:05,Well, I guess he's not finished...

00:02:06,018 --> 00:02:09,...with your father's
"Home of the Whopper" jockey shorts.

00:02:12,385 --> 00:02:14,Well, Peg, I g***t them.

00:02:19,118 --> 00:02:20,Third row, center aisle.

00:02:20,718 --> 00:02:23,The best seats in the house
for the greatest show on earth.

00:02:23,851 --> 00:02:25,What, Public Enemy?

00:02:26,484 --> 00:02:28,Nirvana?

00:02:28,417 --> 00:02:30,Carla and Her Disappearing
Vegetables?

00:02:38,917 --> 00:02:41,I-- I mean the rock group.

00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:46,Not the blond stripper who's making
a squash disappear for Thanksgiving.

00:02:49,251 --> 00:02:52,No, pig-in-training.

00:02:52,450 --> 00:02:55,These are tickets
to The Jeffersons Live.

00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:57,It's their "Moving On Up" tour.

00:03:00,316 --> 00:03:04,What, was the Facts of Life
"Eating On Up" tour all sold out?

00:03:05,083 --> 00:03:06,Oh, Marcie, I can't believe it.

00:03:06,883 --> 00:03:09,We are actually gonna see
George and Weezy...

00:03:09,250 --> 00:03:13,...perform episodes from their sitcom
live on stage.

00:03:14,183 --> 00:03:16,Now, when you say "live"
do you mean...

00:03:16,316 --> 00:03:22,...live as opposed to on TV,
or live as opposed to Daddy?

00:03:24,415 --> 00:03:27,Look, we are talking
about the Jeffersons.

00:03:27,682 --> 00:03:29,They made me understand
the greatness...

00:03:29,649 --> 00:03:31,...of the African-American culture.

00:03:32,015 --> 00:03:35,I used to think
I was a hip white chick...

00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:38,...but then I saw George and Weezy...

00:03:38,682 --> 00:03:42,...and they me realize
that I'm just a square honky peg...

00:03:42,582 --> 00:03:45,...in a round, black world.

00:03:50,382 --> 00:03:51,Well, I guess I can relate.

00:03:51,882 --> 00:03:55,If Beavis and Butthead did a live show
90 years from now, I'd be there.

00:03:57,615 --> 00:04:00,Kelly, Beavis and Butthead
are cartoons.

00:04:01,481 --> 00:04:05,They prefer to be called
"dimensionally challenged," Bud.

00:04:08,047 --> 00:04:11,-Why do I feel so alone?
-Because no one likes you?

00:04:13,481 --> 00:04:15,Peg.

00:04:26,247 --> 00:04:27,Peg, I g***t good news.

00:04:28,047 --> 00:04:30,-So do we.
-No one cares.

00:04:32,714 --> 00:04:34,Peg, I heard they're opening up...

00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:36,...a brand-new sports bar
in the neighborhood.

00:04:36,814 --> 00:04:39,Finally, a place
a man can relax after work.

00:04:39,247 --> 00:04:40,Well, what about home?

00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,Finally, a place a man can relax
after work.

00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:50,A place where women
bring you food.

00:04:50,813 --> 00:04:54,Chips and pretzels,
nuts with sugar on them.

00:04:54,213 --> 00:04:56,Al, you haven't even asked us
about our good news.

00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,I'm sorry, Peg. What is it?

00:04:58,212 --> 00:05:00,-We g***t four tickets--
-Another thing they'll have:

00:05:00,846 --> 00:05:02,Twelve TVs,
each with a different game on.

00:05:02,979 --> 00:05:04,Peg, I tell you, I'm so hot.

00:05:04,479 --> 00:05:07,If Marcie wasn't here,
I'd take you on the floor right now.

00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,Get out, Marcie.

00:05:15,379 --> 00:05:17,Never mind. The mood has passed.

00:05:19,612 --> 00:05:22,Well, all I can say is I'm glad
my man is evolved to the point...

00:05:22,845 --> 00:05:25,...where he doesn't need
a sports bar to go to.

00:05:26,311 --> 00:05:28,Hey, Al.

00:05:32,978 --> 00:05:34,Did you hear
about the new sports bar?

00:05:35,512 --> 00:05:37,Sure did.

00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:39,Ickey Shuffle.

00:05:42,978 --> 00:05:45,Did you hear they'll have a pair
of Ali's gloves on display?

00:05:45,878 --> 00:05:50,-Yes, I did. And Mantle's spikes.
-Plus Michael Jordan's putter.

00:05:50,811 --> 00:05:55,Yes, but are they gonna have the actual
door that George Jefferson slammed...

00:05:55,277 --> 00:05:56,...in the Willis' face?

00:06:02,777 --> 00:06:05,Speaking of Michael Jordan...

00:06:05,577 --> 00:06:09,...I bet you don't know who was picked
ahead of him in the 1984 NBA draft.

00:06:09,444 --> 00:06:12,-Sam Bowie. Went to the Trail Blazers.
-Good call, buddy.

00:06:14,910 --> 00:06:16,All right, Al, I g***t one for you.

00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:19,When was the last time the Cubs
won the World Series?

00:06:19,210 --> 00:06:20,1908.

00:06:20,910 --> 00:06:24,And you can't remember
the year we were married?

00:06:26,643 --> 00:06:28,Same year, 1908.

00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:35,Only difference is,
baseball's still interesting.

00:06:40,610 --> 00:06:45,Well, maybe that's because
they score more than once a season.

00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,Okay, Al.

00:06:52,575 --> 00:06:54,I've g***t one that's gonna stump you.

00:06:54,375 --> 00:06:57,All right, who was in the very first
light-beer commercial?

00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:01,No problem. You're talking beer,
you're talking my language.

00:07:01,609 --> 00:07:05,You're talking beer,
you're talking his belly.

00:07:07,808 --> 00:07:11,Why do I have an uncontrollable urge
to play T-ball?

00:07:15,375 --> 00:07:18,-The answer is Bubba Smith.
-Billy Martin.

00:07:18,641 --> 00:07:21,Bubba Smith. Wore a blue shirt
with a black penguin on the pocket.

00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:25,Hey, Al, what was I wearing
the day you met me?

00:07:25,374 --> 00:07:26,Too much makeup.

00:07:28,274 --> 00:07:30,-It was Billy Martin.
-Bubba Smith.

00:07:30,307 --> 00:07:31,-Billy.
-Bubba. Bubba.

00:07:31,841 --> 00:07:32,-Bubba.
-Billy.

00:07:33,074 --> 00:07:34,-Bubba.
-Billy.

00:07:35,574 --> 00:07:39,Hello, Bureau of Alcohol,
Tobacco and Firearms?

00:07:39,474 --> 00:07:42,Yeah, I have an alcohol question.

00:07:43,207 --> 00:07:46,Who was in the first light-beer
commercial? Now, I say--

00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,Now, I say it was Bubba Smith,
but my friend here says it was--

00:07:50,874 --> 00:07:52,Hello?

00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:54,Hello?

00:07:58,106 --> 00:08:00,He said it was Bubba.

00:08:01,406 --> 00:08:02,-Billy.
-Bubba.

00:08:03,039 --> 00:08:04,-Billy.
-Billy.

00:08:04,206 --> 00:08:05,Bubba.

00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:11,That's no fair.
You stole that from Bugs Bunny.

00:08:11,672 --> 00:08:13,-Daffy.
-Bugs.

00:08:13,206 --> 00:08:14,-Daffy. Daffy.
-Bugs. Bugs.

00:08:14,906 --> 00:08:20,Hey, hey, why are you two introducing
yourselves to each other?

00:08:21,506 --> 00:08:24,You guys have been doing this
for two days.

00:08:24,205 --> 00:08:27,And we demand you pay us
some attention.

00:08:27,772 --> 00:08:29,All right.

00:08:29,672 --> 00:08:31,-Bubba.
-Billy.

00:08:31,272 --> 00:08:32,You know what we can do?

00:08:32,706 --> 00:08:34,We can ask them Friday night
at the sports bar.

00:08:35,038 --> 00:08:37,-Yeah, great.
-Friday?

00:08:37,272 --> 00:08:39,Friday night is our play.

00:08:40,172 --> 00:08:41,What play?

00:08:41,905 --> 00:08:45,The Jeffersons "Moving on Up" tour.

00:08:46,872 --> 00:08:50,What are they moving on up to,
channel 99?

00:08:53,438 --> 00:08:56,Al, we have been talking about this
for two days.

00:08:56,605 --> 00:09:00,-You never listen to me.
-Well, why would I? I g***t a TV.

00:09:02,605 --> 00:09:07,I know. It's the only thing
you've turned on in 20 years.

00:09:09,971 --> 00:09:11,If you came with a remote
and mute button...

00:09:12,104 --> 00:09:14,...I might turn you on too
every now and then.

00:09:17,670 --> 00:09:21,Listen to me. I gotta be there opening
night. You know who's gonna be there?

00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:24,Johnny Bench, Ernie Banks
and Joe...