tusk.720p.BluRay.x264.YIFY Subtitles
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00:00:33,332 --> 00:00:35,I'm gonna... I'm gonna
f***g piss my pants.
00:00:35,533 --> 00:00:37,What the f***k?
00:00:39,505 --> 00:00:44,Hey, if you wanna watch this video,
please go to our website NotSeeParty.com.
00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:45,N-O-T...
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:47,S-E-E... and not "Nazi" with a "Z."
00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:51,That'd be like cross-dressing Adolf
Eichmann-Liza Minnelli impersonator.
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:53,If I... If I die of laughter
during this segment,
00:00:54,087 --> 00:00:56,I don't want you to feel bad. I want
you all to know that I died happy,
00:00:56,790 --> 00:01:00,because this video is the greatest
thing that's ever happened to me.
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:03,- It's up to like 30 something million.
- Here we... Here we go.
00:01:45,704 --> 00:01:48,- S***t!
- What the f***k?
00:01:48,107 --> 00:01:49,I'm gonna talk to this
kid about everything.
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:51,I wanna know... I wanna know
what he masturbates to,
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:54,I wanna know if he kept the leg.
Did he keep the leg?
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,I gotta say though, man.
I've watched this video enough.
00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:57,I'm starting to feel bad for the kid.
00:01:57,984 --> 00:02:00,I'm not laughed out yet but
I'm feeling bad for him.
00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:03,Feeling bad? The kid's g***t tons
of hits 'cause he's famous.
00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,Right? I mean what more do you want?
He's g***t more hits than I do.
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,I'm kinda in a weird way, jealous.
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,I don't need both legs. What ** I?
I'm not running marathons.
00:02:09,929 --> 00:02:13,So look out, you crazy Canucks.
Something weird-a***s this way comes.
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,Next week, Wanderin' Wallace
takes a raunchy road trip
00:02:15,768 --> 00:02:18,up to the Great White North
to meet with a star.
00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:20,My only hope is that he
doesn't cry too much.
00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:22,Join us next week while
Wallace sits down
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:26,with the one-legged wonder,
the master of self-mutilation
00:02:26,846 --> 00:02:29,of Internet humiliation,
the Kill Bill Kid.
00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:31,Which is about all you can
do if you're the Kill Bill Kid.
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,You just sit your one-legged
a***s down, forever.
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:35,Oh, it's too easy.
It was right there!
00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:38,- You're going to hell, man.
- They're like plums, like low-hanging plums.
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,- I had to grab it.
- Until next time, I'm Teddy Craft.
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,And this is Wallace Bryton
reminding you to
00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:46,join ze Not-See Party!
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,Welcome to Canada.
00:03:04,283 --> 00:03:05,Hey, there.
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:08,Hey there, yourself,
fellow facial hair aficionado.
00:03:08,621 --> 00:03:10,Yeah, not as good as you. My God!
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:15,- New Jersey.
- Yeah, years back. Now it's... Los Angeles.
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:18,A man torn betwixt Devils and Kings.
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,Oh! Hockey.
00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:24,You're d***n right, hockey.
00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:27,I don't really follow hockey.
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,Okay. Hands off the counter, please.
00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:33,- Really?
- Yeah, really. Thank you.
00:03:33,813 --> 00:03:35,- Sorry.
- Sorry.
00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:36,- Sorry.
- Sorry.
00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:38,Sorry.
00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:40,When you're visiting the
Great White North of Canada,
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:43,you g***t your Cana-Do's and
you g***t your Cana-Don'ts.
00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:45,Top shelf, right there. Number one.
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:48,Don't go tell any Canadian
you don't follow hockey.
00:03:48,627 --> 00:03:51,Of course! I should've known that.
It makes 'em sad, right?
00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:54,A Canadian doesn't get sad.
Sadness was made by the USA.
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:56,Oh, come on. What does that mean?
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:59,Take off, it's true.
Right there on our flag.
00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:02,It's right there when you look at it.
When you see past that sacred Maple Leaf,
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,- you know what you see?
- A white wall.
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:08,You see that in America,
you may be red, white and blue.
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:13,But in Canada, you're red,
white but never blue?
00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:14,Ever.
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:17,G***t you. That's actually... You know,
I've never thought of it that way before.
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,I always think of
Canadians as just nice.
00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:21,Well, that right there
is another Cana-Don't.
00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:23,We're not nice, we're optimistic.
There is a difference.
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,- Right.
- And we're tolerant.
00:04:26,098 --> 00:04:27,And we're hung like moose.
00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:34,That's great.
00:04:36,241 --> 00:04:39,Back to business, then.
What're you doing in Manitoba?
00:04:39,312 --> 00:04:44,I'm recording a podcast.
So what I do is, I...
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:48,I travel around and I interview
weird or interesting people
00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:52,and I describe it to my best friend
who does not see it first-hand
00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:56,since he won't fly anywhere.
It's called The Not-See Party.
00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:58,Whoa, whoa! Nazi Party?
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:01,Oh, no. It's spelled N-O-T-S-E-E,
00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:03,not the other... Hatey one.
00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:07,- You know, that Hitler.
- You don't say Hitler in an airport.
00:05:18,884 --> 00:05:20,All right.
00:05:39,171 --> 00:05:40,What the f***k is this?
00:06:06,464 --> 00:06:07,Hey!
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,Oh, s***t!
00:06:20,312 --> 00:06:22,Oh, f***k!
00:06:29,688 --> 00:06:32,Hey, f***r. Are you ready for this?
00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:37,F***g Kill Bill Kid f***g
killed himself, sir!
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,With his own f***g sword!
Can you believe that s***t?
00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:42,I'm not f***g kidding you.
00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:46,He couldn't hold out for two more days,
the selfish little peg-legged piece of s***t.
00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,I'm so pissed off right now.
I gotta find a flight back tonight.
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,But I'm thinking I don't wanna come
all the way back with nothing.
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,We need a show this week, so...
00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:57,I'm in f***g Winnipeg
in a bar called...
00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:00,Bar "H."
00:07:00,219 --> 00:07:02,I don't know what the f***k
I'm gonna do. I'm gonna...
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:05,Try to find some other Canadian
weirdo up here I can talk to, but...
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:10,I gotta be honest, man.
There is nothing weird about Canada.
00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:13,It is painfully boring up here.
00:07:13,699 --> 00:07:17,But s***t! $550 for a
f***g plane ticket.
00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:19,Selfish little prick.
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:23,I know it's f***d up to say, but...
God d***n it! It was killing me.
00:07:24,109 --> 00:07:26,All right.
00:07:26,411 --> 00:07:28,Signing off from the
Great White North.
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:30,Coo loo coo coo, coo coo coo
00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:32,Coo loo coo coo
00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:34,Oh, s***t. Beep.
00:07:35,921 --> 00:07:37,Hey, man, where is your bathroom?
00:07:59,144 --> 00:08:04,Hello, I ** an old man who has
enjoyed a long and storied life at sea.
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:09,I ** a proud Canadian who has traveled
a peculiar path lo these many years.
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:15,And after eons of oceanic adventure,
I find myself a landlubber,
00:08:15,194 --> 00:08:17,with Manitoba as my final port.
00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:23,I know I do not wish to spend my
remaining years alone in a giant house.
00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:26,Not when I have such
stories to share.
00:08:30,008 --> 00:08:33,No, it's not the room I'm interested
in as much as you, Mr. Howe.
00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:37,Yeah, tonight would be...
That'd be amazing, sir. Yes, thank you.
00:08:37,383 --> 00:08:42,All right, where ** I going?
Bifrost? Sounds e***c.
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:45,Okay, let me just ask
somebody how far I **.
00:08:45,124 --> 00:08:49,Excuse me, hey!
How far is Bifrost from here?
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:53,- Bifrost? S***t! That's far.
- Yeah, it's about two hours from here.
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,Yeah, the kids here at the
convenience store are telling me
00:08:55,770 --> 00:08:59,605...
f***g piss my pants.
00:00:35,533 --> 00:00:37,What the f***k?
00:00:39,505 --> 00:00:44,Hey, if you wanna watch this video,
please go to our website NotSeeParty.com.
00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:45,N-O-T...
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:47,S-E-E... and not "Nazi" with a "Z."
00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:51,That'd be like cross-dressing Adolf
Eichmann-Liza Minnelli impersonator.
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:53,If I... If I die of laughter
during this segment,
00:00:54,087 --> 00:00:56,I don't want you to feel bad. I want
you all to know that I died happy,
00:00:56,790 --> 00:01:00,because this video is the greatest
thing that's ever happened to me.
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:03,- It's up to like 30 something million.
- Here we... Here we go.
00:01:45,704 --> 00:01:48,- S***t!
- What the f***k?
00:01:48,107 --> 00:01:49,I'm gonna talk to this
kid about everything.
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:51,I wanna know... I wanna know
what he masturbates to,
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:54,I wanna know if he kept the leg.
Did he keep the leg?
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,I gotta say though, man.
I've watched this video enough.
00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:57,I'm starting to feel bad for the kid.
00:01:57,984 --> 00:02:00,I'm not laughed out yet but
I'm feeling bad for him.
00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:03,Feeling bad? The kid's g***t tons
of hits 'cause he's famous.
00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,Right? I mean what more do you want?
He's g***t more hits than I do.
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,I'm kinda in a weird way, jealous.
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,I don't need both legs. What ** I?
I'm not running marathons.
00:02:09,929 --> 00:02:13,So look out, you crazy Canucks.
Something weird-a***s this way comes.
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,Next week, Wanderin' Wallace
takes a raunchy road trip
00:02:15,768 --> 00:02:18,up to the Great White North
to meet with a star.
00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:20,My only hope is that he
doesn't cry too much.
00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:22,Join us next week while
Wallace sits down
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:26,with the one-legged wonder,
the master of self-mutilation
00:02:26,846 --> 00:02:29,of Internet humiliation,
the Kill Bill Kid.
00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:31,Which is about all you can
do if you're the Kill Bill Kid.
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,You just sit your one-legged
a***s down, forever.
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:35,Oh, it's too easy.
It was right there!
00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:38,- You're going to hell, man.
- They're like plums, like low-hanging plums.
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,- I had to grab it.
- Until next time, I'm Teddy Craft.
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,And this is Wallace Bryton
reminding you to
00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:46,join ze Not-See Party!
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,Welcome to Canada.
00:03:04,283 --> 00:03:05,Hey, there.
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:08,Hey there, yourself,
fellow facial hair aficionado.
00:03:08,621 --> 00:03:10,Yeah, not as good as you. My God!
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:15,- New Jersey.
- Yeah, years back. Now it's... Los Angeles.
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:18,A man torn betwixt Devils and Kings.
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,Oh! Hockey.
00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:24,You're d***n right, hockey.
00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:27,I don't really follow hockey.
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,Okay. Hands off the counter, please.
00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:33,- Really?
- Yeah, really. Thank you.
00:03:33,813 --> 00:03:35,- Sorry.
- Sorry.
00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:36,- Sorry.
- Sorry.
00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:38,Sorry.
00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:40,When you're visiting the
Great White North of Canada,
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:43,you g***t your Cana-Do's and
you g***t your Cana-Don'ts.
00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:45,Top shelf, right there. Number one.
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:48,Don't go tell any Canadian
you don't follow hockey.
00:03:48,627 --> 00:03:51,Of course! I should've known that.
It makes 'em sad, right?
00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:54,A Canadian doesn't get sad.
Sadness was made by the USA.
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:56,Oh, come on. What does that mean?
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:59,Take off, it's true.
Right there on our flag.
00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:02,It's right there when you look at it.
When you see past that sacred Maple Leaf,
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,- you know what you see?
- A white wall.
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:08,You see that in America,
you may be red, white and blue.
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:13,But in Canada, you're red,
white but never blue?
00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:14,Ever.
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:17,G***t you. That's actually... You know,
I've never thought of it that way before.
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,I always think of
Canadians as just nice.
00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:21,Well, that right there
is another Cana-Don't.
00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:23,We're not nice, we're optimistic.
There is a difference.
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,- Right.
- And we're tolerant.
00:04:26,098 --> 00:04:27,And we're hung like moose.
00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:34,That's great.
00:04:36,241 --> 00:04:39,Back to business, then.
What're you doing in Manitoba?
00:04:39,312 --> 00:04:44,I'm recording a podcast.
So what I do is, I...
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:48,I travel around and I interview
weird or interesting people
00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:52,and I describe it to my best friend
who does not see it first-hand
00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:56,since he won't fly anywhere.
It's called The Not-See Party.
00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:58,Whoa, whoa! Nazi Party?
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:01,Oh, no. It's spelled N-O-T-S-E-E,
00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:03,not the other... Hatey one.
00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:07,- You know, that Hitler.
- You don't say Hitler in an airport.
00:05:18,884 --> 00:05:20,All right.
00:05:39,171 --> 00:05:40,What the f***k is this?
00:06:06,464 --> 00:06:07,Hey!
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,Oh, s***t!
00:06:20,312 --> 00:06:22,Oh, f***k!
00:06:29,688 --> 00:06:32,Hey, f***r. Are you ready for this?
00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:37,F***g Kill Bill Kid f***g
killed himself, sir!
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,With his own f***g sword!
Can you believe that s***t?
00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:42,I'm not f***g kidding you.
00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:46,He couldn't hold out for two more days,
the selfish little peg-legged piece of s***t.
00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,I'm so pissed off right now.
I gotta find a flight back tonight.
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,But I'm thinking I don't wanna come
all the way back with nothing.
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,We need a show this week, so...
00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:57,I'm in f***g Winnipeg
in a bar called...
00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:00,Bar "H."
00:07:00,219 --> 00:07:02,I don't know what the f***k
I'm gonna do. I'm gonna...
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:05,Try to find some other Canadian
weirdo up here I can talk to, but...
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:10,I gotta be honest, man.
There is nothing weird about Canada.
00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:13,It is painfully boring up here.
00:07:13,699 --> 00:07:17,But s***t! $550 for a
f***g plane ticket.
00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:19,Selfish little prick.
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:23,I know it's f***d up to say, but...
God d***n it! It was killing me.
00:07:24,109 --> 00:07:26,All right.
00:07:26,411 --> 00:07:28,Signing off from the
Great White North.
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:30,Coo loo coo coo, coo coo coo
00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:32,Coo loo coo coo
00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:34,Oh, s***t. Beep.
00:07:35,921 --> 00:07:37,Hey, man, where is your bathroom?
00:07:59,144 --> 00:08:04,Hello, I ** an old man who has
enjoyed a long and storied life at sea.
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:09,I ** a proud Canadian who has traveled
a peculiar path lo these many years.
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:15,And after eons of oceanic adventure,
I find myself a landlubber,
00:08:15,194 --> 00:08:17,with Manitoba as my final port.
00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:23,I know I do not wish to spend my
remaining years alone in a giant house.
00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:26,Not when I have such
stories to share.
00:08:30,008 --> 00:08:33,No, it's not the room I'm interested
in as much as you, Mr. Howe.
00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:37,Yeah, tonight would be...
That'd be amazing, sir. Yes, thank you.
00:08:37,383 --> 00:08:42,All right, where ** I going?
Bifrost? Sounds e***c.
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:45,Okay, let me just ask
somebody how far I **.
00:08:45,124 --> 00:08:49,Excuse me, hey!
How far is Bifrost from here?
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:53,- Bifrost? S***t! That's far.
- Yeah, it's about two hours from here.
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,Yeah, the kids here at the
convenience store are telling me
00:08:55,770 --> 00:08:59,605...
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