00:02:24,268 --> 00:02:25,We shouldn't be doing this.

00:02:26,228 --> 00:02:28,The fuzz might consider it
to be breaking and entering.

00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:32,Sometimes I think you're more of
an old woman than my mother.

00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:35,I just don't like to think of
going to jail.

00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:37,We're invited guests.

00:02:37,531 --> 00:02:39,Then where's the invitee?

00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:42,Oh, be quiet and close the door.

00:02:47,958 --> 00:02:52,Any minute I expect
Bela Lugosi as Dracula!

00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:01,Good Lord!

00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:04,You can say that again.

00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:06,Good Lord!

00:03:07,603 --> 00:03:09,What in the hell have you
gotten me into?

00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:12,What have I gotten myself into?

00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:15,You are Danny and Shirley Carpenter?

00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:20,I ** Tanya.

00:03:21,575 --> 00:03:23,- She's Tanya.
- Quiet!

00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,We're the Carpenters.

00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,You are expected.

00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:33,But Madam Heles does not
receive visitors

00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:36,until the hour of
midnight is upon us.

00:03:38,008 --> 00:03:40,The Dracula bit again.

00:03:41,470 --> 00:03:47,We will attempt to make your stay
comfortable for the next two days.

00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,We are very anxious to meet
Madame Heles.

00:03:49,937 --> 00:03:54,Most are. But not until
the hour of midnight.

00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:55,You will be called.

00:03:57,862 --> 00:04:02,It's 2:30 in the afternoon! What in the
hell are we supposed to do in the meantime?

00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:06,A room has been assigned to you. Come!

00:04:29,977 --> 00:04:33,I trust you will make
yourselves at home.

00:04:34,231 --> 00:04:38,We came here for that purpose,
but we can't make it at home.

00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:39,Agh!

00:04:40,988 --> 00:04:45,Madame Heles feels her
guests must be pleased.

00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:51,You will have these to service you.

00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:59,All you must do is squeeze
this little dong for attention.

00:05:01,008 --> 00:05:03,- Thank you.
- Until midnight.

00:05:07,765 --> 00:05:09,That's weird.

00:05:11,685 --> 00:05:14,I don't like this whole setup.

00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:20,I admit it's a strange place, but strange
happenings come from strange happenings.

00:05:22,863 --> 00:05:26,But what's gonna happen if they
find out we're not really married?

00:05:26,408 --> 00:05:28,They won't if you don't tell them!

00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:33,Ancl besides, we won't be if you
don't find out what it's all about,

00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:36,and what it takes to make a
woman happy in her s***x life.

00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:41,I never heard any complaints
before you came along, you mother!

00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:45,- Did you say something?
- Aw, shut up!

00:05:54,186 --> 00:05:55,Feels inviting.

00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:59,You wouldn't know what to
do with the bed if you did try it out!

00:06:00,317 --> 00:06:04,I sure wish you'd stop
trying to insult my manhood!

00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,Manhood? Ha!

00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:11,That's what we came here for!
To get you in a manhood!

00:06:12,079 --> 00:06:15,A witch! Bullshit!

00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:23,Madame Heles is not a witch,
she's a necromancer.

00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:29,That ill spells witch to
me! st W-I-T-C-H, WITCH!

00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:33,How do you think such a
creature can do anything for me?

00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:36,Well, she better, Danny, because
it's your last chance!

00:06:36,812 --> 00:06:39,If you can't satisfy me by the
time we leave here,

00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:44,I'm going my way and you can
go your own soft way!

00:06:45,195 --> 00:06:47,Aw, Honey! Don't say that!

00:06:48,073 --> 00:06:53,Dammit, I mean it! I'm not gonna spend my
life loving some guy who can't satisfy me!

00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:57,Necromancers have all kinds of
potions and things to help you!

00:06:57,875 --> 00:06:59,You mean like dope?

00:06:59,793 --> 00:07:04,- You know I don't take dope.
- The only dope around here is you.

00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:08,Now, you're gonna do what I say
or I'm leaving right now!

00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:12,Aw, honey, stay. I'll go through with it!

00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:16,I promised you. I'll keep my promise.

00:07:17,311 --> 00:07:19,Oh, Danny.

00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:50,They are as you suspected:
not married.

00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:56,They are now ripe for our purpose.

00:10:12,736 --> 00:10:16,- Tanya?
- Yes, Carl?

00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:18,Isn't it time?

00:10:19,326 --> 00:10:23,Carl, I do believe you have
become insatiable.

00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:27,Only because you taught
me to be that way.

00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,I suppose I have.

00:10:31,463 --> 00:10:36,But there are others in the house now,
and others to be serviced.

00:10:37,427 --> 00:10:40,But I wanna be first!
I must come first!

00:10:41,723 --> 00:10:45,I paid plenty to be first.
To be completely cured.

00:10:48,605 --> 00:10:53,Very well. You are a quickie artist.

00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:57,I suppose I can spare the time.

00:10:59,074 --> 00:11:03,But Madame Heles will have to speak
to you about further servicing.

00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:07,That will come later.
Now is the time!

00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:11,It must be now!
- Come!

00:11:13,630 --> 00:11:14,Hey!

00:11:14,923 --> 00:11:16,I thought I taught you
haste makes waste!

00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:18,Baby, I don't waste a thing!

00:14:57,604 --> 00:14:59,You wanna make love?

00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:01,Oh, come on!

00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:04,Come on, I can.
I promise.

00:15:06,321 --> 00:15:10,Just give me a chance, okay?
I don't need that witch.

00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:13,- Show me.
- Yeah?

00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:35,You're so beautiful.

00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:39,I'd just be nothing without you.

00:18:56,051 --> 00:19:00,D***n. I might just as well
have watched television.

00:19:00,555 --> 00:19:02,That's how much of a charge
you give me.

00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:05,You just don't try hard enough.

00:19:06,811 --> 00:19:09,"Hard." That's the whole problem.

00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:13,I'm gonna take a look around.

00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:20,Do you think your Madame Heles is gonna like
you wandering around all over her house?

00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:24,She'll like our money. She's
not gonna give me any trouble.

00:19:31,878 --> 00:19:33,Have fun.

00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:35,Same to you.

00:19:51,398 --> 00:19:52,Oh!

00:19:54,609 --> 00:19:57,You nearly made me wet
my nightgown, old boy.

00:19:57,946 --> 00:19:59,It's new, too.

00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:06,He died of rabies, you know.

00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:08,Oh.

00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:09,I'm Barb.

00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:13,I'm one of the inmates.

00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:14,Inmates?

00:20:14,587 --> 00:20:18,Yes. Like, "you're in, you can't get out."

00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:21,I must say, you're a good-looking one.

00:26:56,614 --> 00:26:58,Apparently, you like that.

00:26:59,951 --> 00:27:01,Something came over me.

00:27:03,329 --> 00:27:04,You learn fast.

00:27:15,508 --> 00:27:17,Sure it's not like that with Danny?

00:27:21,347 --> 00:27:23,You know my husband?

00:27:23,975 --> 00:27:25,You mean your lover?

00:27:26,477 --> 00:27:29,- You know?
- Everyone knows...

00:27:32,650 --> 00:27:34,That you're not married.

00:27:39,365 --> 00:27:44,Besides, Danny will be taken
care of. So will you.

00:28:06,350 --> 00:28:07,Aw, s***t.

00:28:09,937 --> 00:28:12,I'd better go find her.

00:28:45,514 --> 00:28:47,Wait for me, my darling.

00:28:59,528 --> 00:29:01,I feel so strange.

00:29:01,530 --> 00:29:05,It is to be expected.
Do you like me?

00:29:06,369 --> 00:29:07,Very much.

00:29:08,329 --> 00:29:09,Then trust in me.

00:29:10,748 --> 00:29:13,Put your whole body and soul
into my hands.

00:29:53,207 --> 00:29:55,I've never felt this way before.

00:29:55,626 --> 00:29:58,It's only a start, my darling.
Only a start.

00:30:36,083 --> 00:30:40,Your wife was much more demonstrative
when she saw the Wolf Mummy.

00:30:40,504 --> 00:30:41,Yeah.

00:30:44,008 --> 00:30:45,I've wanted you.

00:30:47,261 --> 00:30:48,But what about my wife?

00:30:49,388 --> 00:30:51,You mean your Shirley?

00:30:51,724 --> 00:30:53,Oh, yeah. I, uh...

00:30:54,352 --> 00:30:57,Forgot she was your lover
not your wife?

00:30:58,105 --> 00:30:59,231...