Landmine.Goes.Click.2015.1080p.BluRay.x265-RARBG Subtitles

At 00:01:45,536, Character said: And we're listening
to this because...

2
At 00:01:47,744, Character said: It's the only show in town.

3
At 00:01:49,184, Character said: That's nice for him.

4
At 00:01:50,656, Character said: He's g***t a completely
captive audience.

5
At 00:01:53,856, Character said: I wonder what he's saying.

6
At 00:01:57,792, Character said: People of earth,
do not be afraid.

7
At 00:02:00,736, Character said: Assimilation is painless.

8
At 00:02:02,848, Character said: Yeah, but probing not so much.

9
At 00:02:06,112, Character said: Hey, we could use my phone
to play some music.

10
At 00:02:08,288, Character said: There is no auxiliary.

11
At 00:02:10,464, Character said: Well, s***t.

12
At 00:02:12,000, Character said: - Indeed.
- We will live.

13
At 00:02:13,376, Character said: I will not.

14
At 00:02:14,816, Character said: I need a quick stop, okay?

15
At 00:02:19,744, Character said: Whoo.

16
At 00:02:23,296, Character said: That good, huh?

17
At 00:02:30,976, Character said: Did you think about what I said?

18
At 00:02:35,200, Character said: Yes.
I think it's a mistake.

19
At 00:02:38,752, Character said: What, what we did, or...

20
At 00:02:40,064, Character said: What we did
doesn't matter anymore, okay?

21
At 00:02:44,640, Character said: But telling him about it does.

22
At 00:02:47,328, Character said: - Yeah, it does.
- So we say nothing.

23
At 00:02:50,336, Character said: What, what do you think,
I wanna tell him

24
At 00:02:51,712, Character said: Just to break you guys up?

25
At 00:02:53,664, Character said: Should I?

26
At 00:02:56,480, Character said: You know this place
used to be a warzone

27
At 00:02:58,208, Character said: A couple years ago.

28
At 00:03:00,192, Character said: A warzone, really?

29
At 00:03:01,920, Character said: - Huh.
- Yeah, tanks, artillery,

30
At 00:03:04,320, Character said: Mines, the whole deal.

31
At 00:03:07,008, Character said: What was it, like a civil war?

32
At 00:03:08,768, Character said: Russians invaded.

33
At 00:03:09,984, Character said: Shocker.

34
At 00:03:12,480, Character said: F***g Russians, man, they just
don't get it, nobody likes them.

35
At 00:03:15,360, Character said: I mean seriously,
name one good thing

36
At 00:03:17,056, Character said: To come out of Russia
other than, like,

37
At 00:03:18,688, Character said: Really hot girl tennis players.

38
At 00:03:21,856, Character said: Vodka.

39
At 00:03:23,840, Character said: - Yeah, there's that.
- Vodka?

40
At 00:03:25,408, Character said: The swedes make better vodka,

41
At 00:03:26,880, Character said: S***t, even the French
make better vodka.

42
At 00:03:29,280, Character said: Oil and gas.

43
At 00:03:31,008, Character said: - What?
- The Russians,

44
At 00:03:32,128, Character said: They make oil and gas.

45
At 00:03:33,472, Character said: They don't make oil and gas,

46
At 00:03:34,752, Character said: They have oil and gas.

47
At 00:03:35,872, Character said: Yeah, right, it's not like

48
At 00:03:37,664, Character said: Anyone said wow, this Russian
oil is so much better than that

49
At 00:03:39,808, Character said: - watered down Saudi s***t.
- Hold up,

50
At 00:03:41,440, Character said: Let me get my bearings.

51
At 00:03:44,352, Character said: - Are we on course?
- Yeah, I think we are.

52
At 00:03:48,256, Character said: I give you the AK-47.

53
At 00:03:50,688, Character said: When you absolutely...

54
At 00:03:52,544, Character said: Positively gotta kill

55
At 00:03:54,144, Character said: Every motherfucker in the room,

56
At 00:03:55,968, Character said: Accept no substitutes.

57
At 00:03:57,728, Character said: That's a good point.

58
At 00:03:59,808, Character said: You shouldn't have seen that.

59
At 00:04:03,136, Character said: It's kind of sad,
really, you know, the Russians,

60
At 00:04:05,248, Character said: I thought they... I thought
they wanted to be free.

61
At 00:04:08,000, Character said: - Be good.
- Be like us.

62
At 00:04:10,144, Character said: All I know is
you never trust someone

63
At 00:04:12,096, Character said: That comes from a country
that's successful with chess.

64
At 00:04:17,088, Character said: Yeah, you all right?

65
At 00:04:18,784, Character said: - Come on.
- I'm all right.

66
At 00:04:20,160, Character said: All right, there you go.

67
At 00:04:21,536, Character said: - All right?
- Up, all right.

68
At 00:04:22,816, Character said: It's good, thank you.

69
At 00:04:25,728, Character said: You're welcome.

70
At 00:04:27,840, Character said: What?

71
At 00:04:30,944, Character said: - No...
- Oh, my God.

72
At 00:04:33,024, Character said: How do you like
them apples, huh?

73
At 00:04:34,208, Character said: Aw, man, dude.

74
At 00:04:38,208, Character said: Chris, will you marry us?

75
At 00:04:40,992, Character said: - Now?
- Yeah.

76
At 00:04:43,456, Character said: - Come on, come on.
- What?

77
At 00:04:45,632, Character said: - Let's do it.
- Shouldn't we save it?

78
At 00:04:47,040, Character said: Put your bags... babe,
we have the whole ceremony

79
At 00:04:49,344, Character said: To make it official,
this is, like, between us,

80
At 00:04:51,680, Character said: Friends, family,
it's all that matters, right?

81
At 00:04:54,624, Character said: Yeah, but I just...

82
At 00:04:57,152, Character said: - I wouldn't know what
to say, so. - Just put your...

83
At 00:04:59,360, Character said: Screw it, I will help you.

84
At 00:05:00,992, Character said: Yes, okay, yes, he's right.

85
At 00:05:08,512, Character said: I'm sorry.

86
At 00:05:11,360, Character said: - So, I say what...
- L-ladies and gentlemen,

87
At 00:05:12,832, Character said: - we are gathered here today.
- Right

88
At 00:05:14,784, Character said: Ladies and gentlemen,

89
At 00:05:16,224, Character said: We are gathered here today
to celebrate

90
At 00:05:17,600, Character said: The marriage
of Daniel and Alicia.

91
At 00:05:21,408, Character said: Wedding is a sacred institution.

92
At 00:05:23,072, Character said: Yeah, marriage
is a sacred institution

93
At 00:05:25,120, Character said: And it should not be
taken lightly.

94
At 00:05:27,008, Character said: And we're not, so let's
skip forward to the good part.

95
At 00:05:29,248, Character said: So, Daniel, do you take Alicia?

96
At 00:05:33,728, Character said: Daniel, do you take Alicia

97
At 00:05:35,040, Character said: To be your lawfully wedded wife?

98
At 00:05:37,888, Character said: For rich, poor, sick
and in good health

99
At 00:05:40,736, Character said: So long as you both shall live?

100
At 00:05:42,528, Character said: - I do.
- I do.

101
At 00:05:43,648, Character said: This is stupid.

102
At 00:05:46,304, Character said: - What?
- This is stupid,

103
At 00:05:47,808, Character said: You know, I mean,
you guys are...

104
At 00:05:49,888, Character said: Doing your thing and it makes me feel,
like, I just, I don't want to, okay?

105
At 00:05:53,600, Character said: - What, what is wrong, man?
- Nothing, nothing.

106
At 00:05:55,520, Character said: Nothing's wrong, I just, you
know, you guys have your fun,

107
At 00:05:57,760, Character said: I g***t... I gotta set up camp

108
At 00:05:59,776, Character said: And, you know,
we're losing light, so just...

109
At 00:06:17,248, Character said: I know something's wrong.

110
At 00:06:20,576, Character said: - And I wanna know what.
- Hmm?

111
At 00:06:23,680, Character said: Chris.

112
At 00:06:27,360, Character said: Nothing.

113
At 00:06:28,768, Character said: I'm fine, it's nothing.

114
At 00:06:31,904, Character said: - Okay.
- It's all good.

115
At 00:06:33,440, Character said: Now, Chris, Chris, so, look,
I'm your best friend, okay?

116
At 00:06:36,928, Character said: You don't think I know
when something's up your a***s?

117
At 00:06:40,096, Character said: Huh? Spill it.

118
At 00:06:42,080, Character said: Yeah, all right, fine,

119
At 00:06:43,552, Character said: There's something
that I gotta tell you.

120
At 00:06:45,504, Character said: It's... I'm...
I'm sorry, okay?

121
At 00:06:50,368, Character said: You know, you guys
are getting married

122
At 00:06:51,712, Character said: - and I should be happy, but...
- But what?

123
At 00:06:54,720, Character said: - Because I...
- So what, so... so, wh...

124
At 00:06:56,896, Character said: No, no, no, no, no,
so, you think,

125
At 00:06:58,848, Character said: You think we're gonna have
couples dinners without you?

126
At 00:07:01,792, Character said: You think
we're gonna go antiquing

127
At 00:07:04,064, Character said: And... and... and
rent a tandem bike

128
At 00:07:06,656, Character said: And ride around town
in matching outfits?

129
At 00:07:10,432, Character said: You a***e.

130
At 00:07:13,760, Character said: And...
I'm gonna set you up...

131
At 00:07:17,472, Character said: With so many hot girlfriends.

132
At 00:07:19,584, Character said: So many hot girlfriends.
So many.

133
At 00:07:23,104, Character said: I hate antiquing.
It's not happening.

134
At 00:07:26,048, Character said: - All right.
- Okay,

135
At 00:07:27,328, Character said: To my best man.

136
At 00:07:32,640, Character said: - Cheers.
- Cheers.

137
At 00:07:39,104, Character said: Whoa, wooo.

138
At 00:07:40,704, Character said: Okay.

139
At 00:07:41,696, Character said: - You okay?
- All right,

140
At 00:07:43,072, Character said: There's a possibility
I may be drunk.

141
At 00:07:45,344, Character said: Maybe just a little bit.

142
At 00:07:48,000, Character said: - All right, bedtime. Come on.
- No, no, no, no, no.

143
At 00:07:50,912, Character said: Guys, there's actually,
there's something I really do

144
At 00:07:53,184, Character said: Need to tell you.
It's, um... um...

145
At 00:07:59,520, Character said: I now pronounce
you man and wife.

146
At 00:08:02,304, Character said: - Really?
- Yeah, really, so go ahead,

147
At 00:08:05,568, Character said: Kiss the bride if you think
you g***t it in you.

148
At 00:08:08,992, Character said: Well, I'm gonna attempt to.

149
At 00:08:15,584, Character said: - Babe.
- Okay, I'm drunk,

150
At 00:08:16,704, Character said: But I'm not that drunk.

151
At 00:08:23,040, Character said: Da da
da-da, da da da-da,

152
At 00:08:25,376, Character said: -...