Newhart S02E06 Subtitles

At 00:01:17,744, Character said: - Knock, knock.

2
At 00:01:19,913, Character said: - Who's there?

3
At 00:01:21,415, Character said: - Jim and Chester.

4
At 00:01:22,649, Character said: - Jim and Chester who?

5
At 00:01:24,118, Character said: - Hi, D***k.
- Hi, D***k.

6
At 00:01:25,919, Character said: - Oh, hi. Hi, guys.
I'm sorry.

7
At 00:01:28,922, Character said: I thought you were
a knock-knock joke.

8
At 00:01:30,524, Character said: - Oh? Which one
did you think we were?

9
At 00:01:33,059, Character said: - Never mind.

10
At 00:01:35,162, Character said: - Never mind who?

11
At 00:01:36,696, Character said: - Forget the joke.

12
At 00:01:38,898, Character said: Well, what can I do
for you?

13
At 00:01:40,767, Character said: - Well, as you
probably know,

14
At 00:01:42,269, Character said: Thanksgiving
is almost upon us.

15
At 00:01:44,238, Character said: - Yeah, I think I heard
something about that.

16
At 00:01:46,673, Character said: - Every year, this town has
a Thanksgiving Day parade.

17
At 00:01:50,477, Character said: About 30 of us
put it together.

18
At 00:01:52,346, Character said: We get the Chamber of Commerce
to be in it, the Boy Scouts.

19
At 00:01:55,915, Character said: Some of the townspeople
dress up like Pilgrims.

20
At 00:01:58,285, Character said: - We even have a float
featuring Plymouth Rock.

21
At 00:02:01,221, Character said: - Although it's not
the real Plymouth Rock.

22
At 00:02:03,590, Character said: - I didn't think so.

23
At 00:02:05,992, Character said: - Oh, but don't say
anything,

24
At 00:02:07,494, Character said: 'cause not everybody
knows that.

25
At 00:02:10,230, Character said: - Anyway,
you can probably guess

26
At 00:02:12,299, Character said: what we're leading up to.

27
At 00:02:13,833, Character said: - You want me to be honorary
grand marshal or something?

28
At 00:02:16,303, Character said: - No. We asked Bob Hope
to do that.

29
At 00:02:18,639, Character said: - If he can't do it,
it's gonna be Lester Hodges.

30
At 00:02:22,042, Character said: He's the only one in town
with a convertible.

31
At 00:02:24,378, Character said: - We wanted you
to be parade director.

32
At 00:02:26,146, Character said: - Isn't this kind of late?

33
At 00:02:27,481, Character said: I mean, Thanksgiving,
you know, is next week.

34
At 00:02:29,149, Character said: - Well, the parade
runs itself really.

35
At 00:02:31,718, Character said: We just need someone
to be in charge.

36
At 00:02:33,387, Character said: - We thought since you
didn't have a regular job,

37
At 00:02:35,556, Character said: that you'd have time
to do it.

38
At 00:02:37,391, Character said: - Well, as surprising
as this may sound,

39
At 00:02:39,560, Character said: I'm busy working on
a book right now.

40
At 00:02:41,695, Character said: - You are?

41
At 00:02:43,763, Character said: - Gee, D***k,
we were counting on you.

42
At 00:02:46,132, Character said: - I'm sorry.

43
At 00:02:48,134, Character said: - I could do it.

44
At 00:02:49,503, Character said: - Who did it last year?

45
At 00:02:51,037, Character said: - Roger Bishop, but he wants
to be a Pilgrim this year.

46
At 00:02:54,441, Character said: - I could do it.

47
At 00:02:55,809, Character said: - What'd you say, George?

48
At 00:02:58,745, Character said: - Oh, I was just saying
I could do it.

49
At 00:03:02,382, Character said: - Well, now
there's somebody

50
At 00:03:04,318, Character said: we never
would have thought of.

51
At 00:03:05,785, Character said: - George is a great choice.

52
At 00:03:07,621, Character said: I mean, he's lived here
all this life,

53
At 00:03:08,955, Character said: he knows the town, and I'll
make sure he has the time.

54
At 00:03:10,890, Character said: - Well, what do you
think, Chester?

55
At 00:03:13,560, Character said: - Well, the parade director

56
At 00:03:15,495, Character said: doesn't really
have to do anything.

57
At 00:03:17,097, Character said: - That's true. He just
has to be able to wave.

58
At 00:03:19,633, Character said: - I'm sure George
could do that.

59
At 00:03:21,602, Character said: - Well, that
settles it then.

60
At 00:03:23,136, Character said: George, you're
our new parade director.

61
At 00:03:26,306, Character said: - Me?
- Congratulations.

62
At 00:03:28,308, Character said: We know you won't
take the job lightly.

63
At 00:03:31,478, Character said: - Did you ever see a real
Thanksgiving Day parade, D***k?

64
At 00:03:36,149, Character said: - When we lived in New York,
I saw the Macy's parade.

65
At 00:03:38,818, Character said: - Oh, you're in for a treat.

66
At 00:03:40,687, Character said: The whole town looks
forward to it every year.

67
At 00:03:43,423, Character said: - The only drawback

68
At 00:03:44,758, Character said: is that the people
who work on the parade

69
At 00:03:46,760, Character said: miss out
on Thanksgiving dinner.

70
At 00:03:48,528, Character said: - We do?

71
At 00:03:49,596, Character said: - Well, after all
that hard work,

72
At 00:03:51,465, Character said: there just isn't time to
put into a big fancy meal.

73
At 00:03:53,467, Character said: - Well, maybe I'll just
have dinner with Bob Hope.

74
At 00:03:57,971, Character said: - George, I don't think
Bob Hope is coming.

75
At 00:04:00,307, Character said: Why don't you all
get together, you know?

76
At 00:04:02,142, Character said: Have a group meal like
one of your potlucks.

77
At 00:04:04,043, Character said: - Well, we would, but they
use the Fellowship Hall

78
At 00:04:06,112, Character said: to feed the poor,

79
At 00:04:07,347, Character said: and we can't think
of another place

80
At 00:04:08,515, Character said: big enough
to hold all of us.

81
At 00:04:09,816, Character said: - Well, the Stratford's
big enough.

82
At 00:04:11,084, Character said: Why don't you meet here?

83
At 00:04:13,620, Character said: - Do you mean that, D***k?

84
At 00:04:15,221, Character said: - Sure. We'll make
our own potluck.

85
At 00:04:17,190, Character said: You all bring a dish
and we'll cook the turkey.

86
At 00:04:19,693, Character said: - Hey, hey, hey!

87
At 00:04:20,860, Character said: - Hey, that's great.
Thanks a lot, D***k.

88
At 00:04:23,196, Character said: - Boy, this was a good trip.

89
At 00:04:24,331, Character said: We g***t a parade director

90
At 00:04:25,632, Character said: and a Thanksgiving dinner
all in 10 minutes.

91
At 00:04:28,635, Character said: - Let's go tell Joanna
the news.

92
At 00:04:34,174, Character said: Joanna,
you'll never believe it.

93
At 00:04:36,176, Character said: Jim and Chester came by
looking for someone

94
At 00:04:38,512, Character said: to direct
the Thanksgiving Day parade,

95
At 00:04:40,246, Character said: and guess who they picked.

96
At 00:04:42,316, Character said: - D***k? Oh, honey, that's
wonderful. Congratulations.

97
At 00:04:46,252, Character said: - Thanks. Actually,
they picked George.

98
At 00:04:48,855, Character said: - Oh. George, that's
wonderful. Congratulations.

99
At 00:04:52,025, Character said: - Well, thanks.
I'm gonna go tell Kirk.

100
At 00:04:55,429, Character said: Boy, is he
gonna be surprised.

101
At 00:04:57,130, Character said: This is gonna be a proud day
for the Stratford.

102
At 00:05:00,334, Character said: I get to direct a parade
and then everyone

103
At 00:05:02,302, Character said: gets to come over here
for Thanksgiving dinner.

104
At 00:05:07,207, Character said: - By the way,

105
At 00:05:09,376, Character said: I invited some people over
for Thanksgiving.

106
At 00:05:12,045, Character said: - Yeah, that's what I heard.

107
At 00:05:13,513, Character said: Who did you invite?

108
At 00:05:15,048, Character said: - Just the people
on the parade committee.

109
At 00:05:16,817, Character said: - How many people is that?

110
At 00:05:17,984, Character said: - Um, 30.

111
At 00:05:19,919, Character said: - You invited 30 people
to Thanksgiving dinner

112
At 00:05:22,288, Character said: without even asking me?

113
At 00:05:23,890, Character said: - Honey, don't be silly.
You're invited, too.

114
At 00:05:28,428, Character said: Look, it wasn't intentional.

115
At 00:05:29,863, Character said: It's just that Jim and Chester
were talking about

116
At 00:05:32,733, Character said: how nobody
on the parade committee

117
At 00:05:34,468, Character said: ever gets a chance
to have Thanksgiving dinner,

118
At 00:05:36,503, Character said: and I thought it was
a nice thing to do.

119
At 00:05:38,538, Character said: Besides, everybody's
bringing something,

120
At 00:05:40,474, Character said: so all we have to worry
about is the turkey.

121
At 00:05:43,910, Character said: - Do you know how many turkeys
it takes to feed 30 people?

122
At 00:05:46,246, Character said: - Actually, it's 30 couples.

123
At 00:05:49,148, Character said: - 60 people?

124
At 00:05:50,984, Character said: - Unless
they bring their kids.

125
At 00:05:53,253, Character said: - Honestly, D***k, how many
people are we talking about?

126
At 00:05:56,222, Character said: - Honey, you're right.

127
At 00:05:57,758, Character said: You know, thinking
about this some more,

128
At 00:05:59,526, Character said: it wasn't
such a great idea.

129
At 00:06:00,827, Character said: I'm gonna call it off.

130
At 00:06:02,161, Character said: - Wait. Wait a minute.
You can't uninvite people.

131
At 00:06:03,563, Character said: - Well, why not?

132
At 00:06:04,731, Character said: - Because it's rude
and thoughtless

133
At 00:06:06,833, Character said: and it'll sound like
it was my idea.

134
At 00:06:08,968, Character said: Face it, we're stuck,

135
At 00:06:10,303, Character said: and on my parents'
first...