Newhart - S02E06 Movie Subtitles

1 00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:19,844 - Knock, knock. 2 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,346 - Who's there? 3 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:22,581 - Jim and Chester. 4 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,048 - Jim and Chester who? 5 00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:25,850 - Hi, D***k. - Hi, D***k. 6 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,853 - Oh, hi. Hi, guys. I'm sorry. 7 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,455 I thought you were a knock-knock joke. 8 00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,991 - Oh? Which one did you think we were? 9 00:01:33,059 --> 00:01:35,093 - Never mind. 10 00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:36,628 - Never mind who? 11 00:01:36,696 --> 00:01:38,830 - Forget the joke. 12 00:01:38,898 --> 00:01:40,698 Well, what can I do for you? 13 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,200 - Well, as you probably know, 14 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:44,169 Thanksgiving is almost upon us. 15 00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:46,605 - Yeah, I think I heard something about that. 16 00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:50,408 - Every year, this town has a Thanksgiving Day parade. 17 00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:52,277 About 30 of us put it together. 18 00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:55,847 We get the Chamber of Commerce to be in it, the Boy Scouts. 19 00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:58,216 Some of the townspeople dress up like Pilgrims. 20 00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:01,153 - We even have a float featuring Plymouth Rock. 21 00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:03,522 - Although it's not the real Plymouth Rock. 22 00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,923 - I didn't think so. 23 00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:07,425 - Oh, but don't say anything, 24 00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:10,162 'cause not everybody knows that. 25 00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:12,230 - Anyway, you can probably guess 26 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,765 what we're leading up to. 27 00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:16,234 - You want me to be honorary grand marshal or something? 28 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,570 - No. We asked Bob Hope to do that. 29 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,973 - If he can't do it, it's gonna be Lester Hodges. 30 00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:24,309 He's the only one in town with a convertible. 31 00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:26,077 - We wanted you to be parade director. 32 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,412 - Isn't this kind of late? 33 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,080 I mean, Thanksgiving, you know, is next week. 34 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,650 - Well, the parade runs itself really. 35 00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:33,318 We just need someone to be in charge. 36 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,487 - We thought since you didn't have a regular job, 37 00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:37,322 that you'd have time to do it. 38 00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,491 - Well, as surprising as this may sound, 39 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,626 I'm busy working on a book right now. 40 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,695 - You are? 41 00:02:43,763 --> 00:02:46,064 - Gee, D***k, we were counting on you. 42 00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:48,066 - I'm sorry. 43 00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:49,434 - I could do it. 44 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,968 - Who did it last year? 45 00:02:51,037 --> 00:02:54,372 - Roger Bishop, but he wants to be a Pilgrim this year. 46 00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:55,740 - I could do it. 47 00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:58,677 - What'd you say, George? 48 00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:02,314 - Oh, I was just saying I could do it. 49 00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:04,249 - Well, now there's somebody 50 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,717 we never would have thought of. 51 00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:07,552 - George is a great choice. 52 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:08,886 I mean, he's lived here all this life, 53 00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:10,822 he knows the town, and I'll make sure he has the time. 54 00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:13,491 - Well, what do you think, Chester? 55 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,427 - Well, the parade director 56 00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:17,028 doesn't really have to do anything. 57 00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,564 - That's true. He just has to be able to wave. 58 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,533 - I'm sure George could do that. 59 00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:23,067 - Well, that settles it then. 60 00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:26,238 George, you're our new parade director. 61 00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:28,240 - Me? - Congratulations. 62 00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:31,409 We know you won't take the job lightly. 63 00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:36,080 - Did you ever see a real Thanksgiving Day parade, D***k? 64 00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,750 - When we lived in New York, I saw the Macy's parade. 65 00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:40,619 - Oh, you're in for a treat. 66 00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:43,355 The whole town looks forward to it every year. 67 00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:44,689 - The only drawback 68 00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,691 is that the people who work on the parade 69 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,460 miss out on Thanksgiving dinner. 70 00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:49,527 - We do? 71 00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:51,396 - Well, after all that hard work, 72 00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:53,398 there just isn't time to put into a big fancy meal. 73 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:57,902 - Well, maybe I'll just have dinner with Bob Hope. 74 00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:00,238 - George, I don't think Bob Hope is coming. 75 00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:02,073 Why don't you all get together, you know? 76 00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:03,975 Have a group meal like one of your potlucks. 77 00:04:04,043 --> 00:04:06,043 - Well, we would, but they use the Fellowship Hall 78 00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:07,279 to feed the poor, 79 00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:08,446 and we can't think of another place 80 00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:09,748 big enough to hold all of us. 81 00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,015 - Well, the Stratford's big enough. 82 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,551 Why don't you meet here? 83 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,153 - Do you mean that, D***k? 84 00:04:15,221 --> 00:04:17,121 - Sure. We'll make our own potluck. 85 00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,624 You all bring a dish and we'll cook the turkey. 86 00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:20,792 - Hey, hey, hey! 87 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:23,127 - Hey, that's great. Thanks a lot, D***k. 88 00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,262 - Boy, this was a good trip. 89 00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:25,563 We g***t a parade director 90 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:28,566 and a Thanksgiving dinner all in 10 minutes. 91 00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:31,002 - Let's go tell Joanna the news. 92 00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,107 Joanna, you'll never believe it. 93 00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:38,443 Jim and Chester came by looking for someone 94 00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:40,178 to direct the Thanksgiving Day parade, 95 00:04:40,246 --> 00:04:42,246 and guess who they picked. 96 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:46,184 - D***k? Oh, honey, that's wonderful. Congratulations. 97 00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:48,787 - Thanks. Actually, they picked George. 98 00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:51,956 - Oh. George, that's wonderful. Congratulations. 99 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:55,360 - Well, thanks. I'm gonna go tell Kirk. 100 00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:57,061 Boy, is he gonna be surprised. 101 00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,264 This is gonna be a proud day for the Stratford. 102 00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:02,233 I get to direct a parade and then everyone 103 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,202 gets to come over here for Thanksgiving dinner. 104 00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:09,307 - By the way, 105 00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:11,976 I invited some people over for Thanksgiving. 106 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,445 - Yeah, that's what I heard. 107 00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:14,979 Who did you invite? 108 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,748 - Just the people on the parade committee. 109 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:17,915 - How many people is that? 110 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,851 - Um, 30. 111 00:05:19,919 --> 00:05:22,220 - You invited 30 people to Thanksgiving dinner 112 00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:23,822 without even asking me? 113 00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:26,624 - Honey, don't be silly. You're invited, too. 114 00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:29,794 Look, it wasn't intentional. 115 00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,664 It's just that Jim and Chester were talking about 116 00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:34,399 how nobody on the parade committee 117 00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:36,434 ever gets a chance to have Thanksgiving dinner, 118 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,470 and I thought it was a nice thing to do. 119 00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:40,405 Besides, everybody's bringing something, 120 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:43,842 so all we have to worry about is the turkey. 121 00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:46,177 - Do you know how many turkeys it takes to feed 30 people? 122 00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:49,080 - Actually, it's 30 couples. 123 00:05:49,148 --> 00:05:50,915 - 60 people? 124 00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:53,184 - Unless they bring their kids. 125 00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:56,153 - Honestly, D***k, how many people are we talking about? 126 00:05:56,222 --> 00:05:57,689 - Honey, you're right. 127 00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,457 You know, thinking about this some more, 128 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:00,759 it wasn't such a great idea. 129 00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:02,093 I'm gonna call it off. 130 00:06:02,161 --> 00:06:03,495 - Wait. Wait a minute. You can't uninvite people. 131 00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:04,662 - Well, why not? 132 00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:06,765 - Because it's rude and thoughtless 133 00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:08,900 and it'll sound like it was my idea. 134 00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:10,234 Face it, we're stuck, 135 00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:12,370 and on my parents' first...