Newhart - S02E06 Subtitles

00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:19,- Knock, knock.

00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,- Who's there?

00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:22,- Jim and Chester.

00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,- Jim and Chester who?

00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:25,- Hi, D***k.
- Hi, D***k.

00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,- Oh, hi. Hi, guys.
I'm sorry.

00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,I thought you were
a knock-knock joke.

00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,- Oh? Which one
did you think we were?

00:01:33,059 --> 00:01:35,- Never mind.

00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:36,- Never mind who?

00:01:36,696 --> 00:01:38,- Forget the joke.

00:01:38,898 --> 00:01:40,Well, what can I do
for you?

00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,- Well, as you
probably know,

00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:44,Thanksgiving
is almost upon us.

00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:46,- Yeah, I think I heard
something about that.

00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:50,- Every year, this town has
a Thanksgiving Day parade.

00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:52,About 30 of us
put it together.

00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:55,We get the Chamber of Commerce
to be in it, the Boy Scouts.

00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:58,Some of the townspeople
dress up like Pilgrims.

00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:01,- We even have a float
featuring Plymouth Rock.

00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:03,- Although it's not
the real Plymouth Rock.

00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,- I didn't think so.

00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:07,- Oh, but don't say
anything,

00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:10,'cause not everybody
knows that.

00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:12,- Anyway,
you can probably guess

00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,what we're leading up to.

00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:16,- You want me to be honorary
grand marshal or something?

00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,- No. We asked Bob Hope
to do that.

00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,- If he can't do it,
it's gonna be Lester Hodges.

00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:24,He's the only one in town
with a convertible.

00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:26,- We wanted you
to be parade director.

00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,- Isn't this kind of late?

00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,I mean, Thanksgiving,
you know, is next week.

00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,- Well, the parade
runs itself really.

00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:33,We just need someone
to be in charge.

00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,- We thought since you
didn't have a regular job,

00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:37,that you'd have time
to do it.

00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,- Well, as surprising
as this may sound,

00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,I'm busy working on
a book right now.

00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,- You are?

00:02:43,763 --> 00:02:46,- Gee, D***k,
we were counting on you.

00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:48,- I'm sorry.

00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:49,- I could do it.

00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,- Who did it last year?

00:02:51,037 --> 00:02:54,- Roger Bishop, but he wants
to be a Pilgrim this year.

00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:55,- I could do it.

00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:58,- What'd you say, George?

00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:02,- Oh, I was just saying
I could do it.

00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:04,- Well, now
there's somebody

00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,we never
would have thought of.

00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:07,- George is a great choice.

00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:08,I mean, he's lived here
all this life,

00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:10,he knows the town, and I'll
make sure he has the time.

00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:13,- Well, what do you
think, Chester?

00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,- Well, the parade director

00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:17,doesn't really
have to do anything.

00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,- That's true. He just
has to be able to wave.

00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,- I'm sure George
could do that.

00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:23,- Well, that
settles it then.

00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:26,George, you're
our new parade director.

00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:28,- Me?
- Congratulations.

00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:31,We know you won't
take the job lightly.

00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:36,- Did you ever see a real
Thanksgiving Day parade, D***k?

00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,- When we lived in New York,
I saw the Macy's parade.

00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:40,- Oh, you're in for a treat.

00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:43,The whole town looks
forward to it every year.

00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:44,- The only drawback

00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,is that the people
who work on the parade

00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,miss out
on Thanksgiving dinner.

00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:49,- We do?

00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:51,- Well, after all
that hard work,

00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:53,there just isn't time to
put into a big fancy meal.

00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:57,- Well, maybe I'll just
have dinner with Bob Hope.

00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:00,- George, I don't think
Bob Hope is coming.

00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:02,Why don't you all
get together, you know?

00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:03,Have a group meal like
one of your potlucks.

00:04:04,043 --> 00:04:06,- Well, we would, but they
use the Fellowship Hall

00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:07,to feed the poor,

00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:08,and we can't think
of another place

00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:09,big enough
to hold all of us.

00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,- Well, the Stratford's
big enough.

00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,Why don't you meet here?

00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,- Do you mean that, D***k?

00:04:15,221 --> 00:04:17,- Sure. We'll make
our own potluck.

00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,You all bring a dish
and we'll cook the turkey.

00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:20,- Hey, hey, hey!

00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:23,- Hey, that's great.
Thanks a lot, D***k.

00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,- Boy, this was a good trip.

00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:25,We g***t a parade director

00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:28,and a Thanksgiving dinner
all in 10 minutes.

00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:31,- Let's go tell Joanna
the news.

00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,Joanna,
you'll never believe it.

00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:38,Jim and Chester came by
looking for someone

00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:40,to direct
the Thanksgiving Day parade,

00:04:40,246 --> 00:04:42,and guess who they picked.

00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:46,- D***k? Oh, honey, that's
wonderful. Congratulations.

00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:48,- Thanks. Actually,
they picked George.

00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:51,- Oh. George, that's
wonderful. Congratulations.

00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:55,- Well, thanks.
I'm gonna go tell Kirk.

00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:57,Boy, is he
gonna be surprised.

00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,This is gonna be a proud day
for the Stratford.

00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:02,I get to direct a parade
and then everyone

00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,gets to come over here
for Thanksgiving dinner.

00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:09,- By the way,

00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:11,I invited some people over
for Thanksgiving.

00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,- Yeah, that's what I heard.

00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:14,Who did you invite?

00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,- Just the people
on the parade committee.

00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:17,- How many people is that?

00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,- Um, 30.

00:05:19,919 --> 00:05:22,- You invited 30 people
to Thanksgiving dinner

00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:23,without even asking me?

00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:26,- Honey, don't be silly.
You're invited, too.

00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:29,Look, it wasn't intentional.

00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,It's just that Jim and Chester
were talking about

00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:34,how nobody
on the parade committee

00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:36,ever gets a chance
to have Thanksgiving dinner,

00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,and I thought it was
a nice thing to do.

00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:40,Besides, everybody's
bringing something,

00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:43,so all we have to worry
about is the turkey.

00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:46,- Do you know how many turkeys
it takes to feed 30 people?

00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:49,- Actually, it's 30 couples.

00:05:49,148 --> 00:05:50,- 60 people?

00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:53,- Unless
they bring their kids.

00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:56,- Honestly, D***k, how many
people are we talking about?

00:05:56,222 --> 00:05:57,- Honey, you're right.

00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,You know, thinking
about this some more,

00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:00,it wasn't
such a great idea.

00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:02,I'm gonna call it off.

00:06:02,161 --> 00:06:03,- Wait. Wait a minute.
You can't uninvite people.

00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:04,- Well, why not?

00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:06,- Because it's rude
and thoughtless

00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:08,and it'll sound like
it was my idea.

00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:10,Face it, we're stuck,

00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:12,and on my parents'
first...