Newhart - S02E07 Movie Subtitles

1 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,342 - [ chuckles ] 2 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:18,610 - What is it, D***k? 3 00:01:18,678 --> 00:01:21,679 - Oh, it's something in the paper that's funny. 4 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:25,150 Here, read it. It's a short paragraph. 5 00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:41,032 George? 6 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:46,404 - George, I'm gonna need you 7 00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:48,440 to do some repair work in room four. 8 00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:52,777 - Oh, okay. I'll have to finish this later. 9 00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:55,180 - Thank goodness those people are checking out. 10 00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:56,515 - You mean the klutz family? 11 00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:57,682 - Can't believe it. 12 00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:58,983 They broke their water pitcher, 13 00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:00,084 broke the light in the bathroom, 14 00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:01,419 broke the door jamb 15 00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:03,121 and spilled grape juice on the bedspread. 16 00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:05,223 They are absolutely the clumsiest people 17 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,758 I've ever seen in my life. 18 00:02:06,826 --> 00:02:08,059 - Well, we're checking out. 19 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,230 - Oh! Are you okay? 20 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,731 - I'm fine. - Are you sure? 21 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,200 - Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. 22 00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:17,636 - Oh! 23 00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:18,970 - Sorry about that. 24 00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:20,572 - That's okay. 25 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:23,408 - Here. Just put that on our bill. 26 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,143 So what do we owe you? 27 00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:28,513 - Let's see. It's $35 for the room, 28 00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:33,318 and damages to the room, say, 40. 29 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,253 Let's figure $75. 30 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:38,590 - Here's 100. That'll take care of the sink, too. 31 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:41,993 Thank you very much. Watch your step, honey. 32 00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:44,196 - Here. Let me take your luggage. 33 00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:45,630 - That's okay. I've g***t it. 34 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,999 - Here. Let me get the door for you. 35 00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:51,670 - Thank you. You folks have been swell. Goodbye. 36 00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:52,837 - Bye-bye. - Drive carefully. 37 00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:53,838 - Right. 38 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:56,007 - Bye. - Bye-bye. 39 00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:58,810 - Oh, I hope those people never come back. 40 00:02:58,878 --> 00:03:04,316 - This came off your door. 41 00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:05,817 Sorry. 42 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:08,953 [ telephone rings ] 43 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,255 - I'll get it. 44 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:11,590 - Here, George. 45 00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:14,259 - I'd better get my toolbox. 46 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:15,993 - Hello? Stratford Inn. 47 00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:18,996 Yes, she is. May I ask who's calling? 48 00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:20,465 One second. 49 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:21,733 Stephanie, telephone. 50 00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:23,635 - Who is it? - John. 51 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:24,636 - John who? 52 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,804 - I don't know. He just said John. 53 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,507 - D***k, in the future, could you please try to get last names? 54 00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:30,808 I'm on my way to the phone, 55 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:31,909 and I don't know if I'm gonna be talking 56 00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:34,679 to a wonderful guy or a turnip. 57 00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:35,913 - Sorry. 58 00:03:35,982 --> 00:03:37,415 - Hi, John. 59 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:41,152 Oh, John, hi! You lucked out. 60 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:45,189 Thursday night? I'm looking forward to it. Why? 61 00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:50,395 Oh. Well, can I ask why you're breaking it? 62 00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:54,599 Oh. 63 00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:57,101 I see. 64 00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:58,936 Uh-huh. 65 00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:02,874 So Thursday night, you'll actually be on your honeymoon. 66 00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,412 Uh-huh. 67 00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:11,283 Well, listen, I don't want to let you keep me. 68 00:04:11,351 --> 00:04:15,720 Well, have a nice ceremony and thanks for calling. Bye. 69 00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,489 Crud. 70 00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:20,124 - Someone you had a date with is getting married? 71 00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:21,660 - Yes. John Pelham. 72 00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:22,927 - What's the matter? 73 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,028 - John Pelham comes from 74 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,331 one of the oldest families in New England. 75 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,100 He's in the top of his class at Dartmouth. 76 00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:32,437 He has charm, he has wit, he has intelligence, 77 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,372 and tomorrow he's going to have a wife. 78 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,874 Double crud! 79 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,210 - Stephanie, you're acting like you've been jilted. 80 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,346 Three minutes ago, you weren't even sure who this guy was. 81 00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:45,149 - Well, now I remember and now I'm heartbroken. 82 00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:47,519 - Look, Stephanie, you may be disappointed, 83 00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:48,653 but I'm sure John Pelham 84 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,888 isn't the only good prospect at Dartmouth. 85 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,089 - Well, he is. 86 00:04:52,158 --> 00:04:53,991 - Well, you don't know everyone at Dartmouth. 87 00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,327 - Yes, I do. 88 00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:57,061 - Well, I think you're being ridiculous. 89 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,930 - Well, I think you're being mean and insensitive. 90 00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:02,334 - Stephanie! - You don't understand. 91 00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:04,436 Nobody in this inn understands. 92 00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:05,770 - What are you talking about? 93 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,306 - Nobody in the whole world understands anything about me. 94 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,708 I'm going for a walk 95 00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:13,712 and I don't care what the wind does to my complexion. 96 00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,213 - Oh, hi, Steph. 97 00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:17,716 - And you're no better than the rest of 'em! 98 00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:22,420 - Problem? 99 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,889 - Stephanie's just a little upset. 100 00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,458 - Can you believe she did that? 101 00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:27,959 - Honey, I'm sure she's just going out 102 00:05:28,027 --> 00:05:29,394 to, you know, cool off. 103 00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:32,397 - Well, that should be easy. It's 28 degrees out there. 104 00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:36,000 - Hey, Joanna, have you seen my toolbox? 105 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,702 - Excuse me. 106 00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:40,171 - D***k, let me just say one word, 107 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,574 and if you're not interested, I'll never mention it again. 108 00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:44,342 - I'm not interested. 109 00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:47,479 - The word is cannon. 110 00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:48,980 Okay, you need more words. 111 00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:50,181 All right, look, 112 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:52,684 what's the name of my cafe? The Minuteman. 113 00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:53,852 And you live in an historic inn 114 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,186 built in revolutionary days. 115 00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:56,354 What could be more perfect 116 00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:57,789 lining the walk between the Stratford Inn 117 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:58,990 and the Minuteman Cafe 118 00:05:59,058 --> 00:06:02,927 than an authentic World War I German cannon? 119 00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:05,229 - What in the world are you talking about? 120 00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,732 - I'm talking about beautifying our landscape 121 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:11,736 with a little artillery. 122 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,237 Cannons will attract the curious. 123 00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:14,739 Kids would get a kick out of them. 124 00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:18,276 They'd wanna sit on them. We could charge 'em for that. 125 00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:20,311 - There is only one reason I can think of 126 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,813 I would want a cannon right now. 127 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,147 - Listen, if we're interested, 128 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,583 Gunther says we've g***t to act quickly. 129 00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:27,519 - Gunther? - What do you say? 130 00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:29,186 - I ** not buying a cannon. 131 00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:33,190 - You can't buy a cannon. You have to buy six. 132 00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:35,627 - I'm not buying a six-pack of cannons. 133 00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:38,095 - Okay, look, I'll talk to Gunther. 134 00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:40,432 Maybe he'll let us buy one. - One what? 135 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:43,267 - D***k's thinking about buying a cannon. 136 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,976 - I really love snow. 137 00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:54,479 It looks so peaceful coming down. 138 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:57,982 It makes you think everything's right with the world. 139 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,753 - Hey, have you seen Stephanie? 140 00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,555 I went to call her for dinner and she's not in her room. 141 00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:04,956 - I'm sure she's...