Tales.Of.The.Unexpected.S09E10.Mr.Know-All.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-HypStu_track3_[eng] Subtitles
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00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:49,Thank you, gentlemen.
00:00:49,330 --> 00:00:50,End this afternoon's lectures.
00:00:52,070 --> 00:00:52,Thank you.
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:04,Good morning.
00:01:04,950 --> 00:01:05,Good morning.
00:01:05,710 --> 00:01:06,I'm Max Killader.
00:01:07,090 --> 00:01:08,Professor Max Killader?
00:01:08,350 --> 00:01:09,That is quite right.
00:01:09,350 --> 00:01:11,If you'll just wait a moment, Professor, I'll
00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:12,tell the assistant manager that you're here.
00:01:12,830 --> 00:01:13,Thank you.
00:01:13,790 --> 00:01:14,Do you mind filling out one of these
00:01:14,890 --> 00:01:15,for me, please?
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:16,Not at all.
00:01:16,950 --> 00:01:17,Oh, Mr Cranley?
00:01:18,350 --> 00:01:19,Yes, it's Bates here.
00:01:20,070 --> 00:01:22,Yes, Professor Max Killader has arrived.
00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,Yes, sir, I'll do that right away, sir.
00:01:25,110 --> 00:01:26,The assistant manager will be with you in
00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:27,one moment, sir.
00:01:27,550 --> 00:01:28,Very good.
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:29,Are they tarts?
00:01:30,710 --> 00:01:31,I'm sorry?
00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:33,The girls, are they tarts?
00:01:33,850 --> 00:01:35,Oh, I believe the students, Professor, are here
00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:36,for the conference.
00:01:36,470 --> 00:01:37,Yes, yes, of course.
00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:39,Many of them are here for my lectures.
00:01:39,630 --> 00:01:41,This is a holiday resort.
00:01:41,450 --> 00:01:43,Surely some of them are lobby girls?
00:01:43,750 --> 00:01:45,Ah, well, I...
00:01:45,090 --> 00:01:46,Can I help?
00:01:46,450 --> 00:01:48,I hope so, sir, because the professor here
00:01:48,550 --> 00:01:49,has a query.
00:01:49,390 --> 00:01:50,Well, that's what we're here to answer.
00:01:51,130 --> 00:01:51,Professor Killader?
00:01:52,010 --> 00:01:52,That's right.
00:01:52,630 --> 00:01:54,I'm Jasper Cranley, the assistant manager of the
00:01:54,690 --> 00:01:54,Greenleaf.
00:01:54,930 --> 00:01:55,How do you do?
00:01:55,570 --> 00:01:56,How do you do?
00:01:56,030 --> 00:01:57,Now, how can I help you, sir?
00:01:57,530 --> 00:01:59,Well, I simply ask if some of these
00:01:59,590 --> 00:02:01,girls here were hookers.
00:02:01,610 --> 00:02:01,Hookers?
00:02:01,970 --> 00:02:02,Yes.
00:02:02,610 --> 00:02:03,What a suggestion.
00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:06,Why, Professor Killader, the Greenleaf is just about
00:02:06,310 --> 00:02:08,the most discriminating hotel on the island.
00:02:09,009 --> 00:02:11,These girls are graduate students, most of them.
00:02:11,690 --> 00:02:13,I can assure you our security would allow
00:02:13,770 --> 00:02:15,nothing off colour in the lobby.
00:02:15,650 --> 00:02:16,Really?
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:17,How depressing.
00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:20,Now then, we were expecting you yesterday, Professor.
00:02:21,190 --> 00:02:22,I was delayed in Tokyo.
00:02:23,470 --> 00:02:25,I tried to cable from Moscow airport, but
00:02:25,450 --> 00:02:28,you know how ludicrously inefficient the Russians are.
00:02:28,610 --> 00:02:29,Fifteen, please.
00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:31,Do I have a suite or a room?
00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:33,Why, Professor, all of our accommodation consists of
00:02:33,730 --> 00:02:35,studio suites, which are made up of a
00:02:35,970 --> 00:02:38,large living area, a terrace, with a jacuzzi
00:02:38,550 --> 00:02:39,equipped bathroom.
00:02:39,510 --> 00:02:40,Yes, yes, I understand.
00:02:41,230 --> 00:02:42,It's a room.
00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:45,I suppose Professor Medox of Yale has g***t
00:02:45,070 --> 00:02:46,the only proper suite.
00:02:46,150 --> 00:02:48,I can assure you, Professor, there is no
00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,favouritism at the Greenleaf.
00:02:50,050 --> 00:02:52,All of you visiting archaeologists will receive the
00:02:52,290 --> 00:02:55,same high standard of personalised service and ultra
00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,modern but gracious accommodation.
00:02:57,490 --> 00:03:00,Why are these called the Virgin Islands?
00:03:01,410 --> 00:03:02,I've no idea.
00:03:03,030 --> 00:03:04,Seems a trifle ominous.
00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:13,I'll have a maid bring up your whisky,
00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:14,sir.
00:03:14,430 --> 00:03:15,Are the maids available?
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,This is a decent hotel, Professor.
00:03:19,370 --> 00:03:19,Really?
00:03:20,510 --> 00:03:21,I'm sorry.
00:03:21,870 --> 00:03:22,I apologise.
00:03:23,450 --> 00:03:24,I guess it's just that I'm feeling a
00:03:24,630 --> 00:03:25,little bit jumpy, sir.
00:03:25,370 --> 00:03:28,You see, my wife's returning from Boston tomorrow
00:03:28,030 --> 00:03:30,with our little girl, and I'm always kind
00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:31,of nervous when they fly, sir.
00:03:32,770 --> 00:03:35,Still, Professor, it might save embarrassment if you
00:03:35,130 --> 00:03:36,would just remember that this is a conference
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:37,hotel.
00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:39,Curly, have this put up in the lobby,
00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:39,please.
00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:41,I'll have it attended to, sir.
00:03:41,810 --> 00:03:42,Thank you.
00:03:46,090 --> 00:03:48,So, Barnum's arrived, has he?
00:03:48,030 --> 00:03:49,Good morning, Professor Maddox.
00:03:49,350 --> 00:03:49,Morning.
00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:51,You've turned your lobby into a casino.
00:03:51,890 --> 00:03:52,Really?
00:03:52,170 --> 00:03:56,The greatest showman of archaeology does the Mortimer
00:03:56,130 --> 00:03:56,Wheeler stunt.
00:03:57,290 --> 00:03:58,People come up to him with a bit
00:03:58,850 --> 00:04:01,of pottery or such like, and he says
00:04:01,590 --> 00:04:03,what it is, what they are.
00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:05,Only he does it for money.
00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:08,He bets the customers $100 he'll get it
00:04:08,450 --> 00:04:08,right.
00:04:08,810 --> 00:04:09,Does he always win?
00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:11,No, not always.
00:04:12,070 --> 00:04:14,Merely a modest nine times out of ten.
00:04:14,890 --> 00:04:16,Just enough to make him a small fortune.
00:04:17,350 --> 00:04:19,But I think he does it mainly to
00:04:19,690 --> 00:04:20,impress the girls.
00:04:20,450 --> 00:04:21,I see.
00:04:21,490 --> 00:04:22,Is there a Mrs Colada?
00:04:23,370 --> 00:04:23,No.
00:04:24,550 --> 00:04:28,He's, shall we say, addicted to variety.
00:04:29,610 --> 00:04:32,If Max Colada sees a girl twice, he
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:33,thinks the affair's getting stale.
00:04:33,830 --> 00:04:36,You mean he's a womaniser, a seducer.
00:04:39,610 --> 00:04:42,The Casanova de nos jours.
00:04:43,070 --> 00:04:44,You wanted to see me, Mr Cranley?
00:04:44,810 --> 00:04:45,I'm the roommate.
00:04:45,970 --> 00:04:46,Oh, yes.
00:04:46,550 --> 00:04:48,Aren't you the English girl, Ellie...
00:04:48,270 --> 00:04:48,Ellie Somerton.
00:04:49,150 --> 00:04:50,That's it, Miss Somerton.
00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:52,Are you here on a working vacation, Miss
00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:52,Somerton?
00:04:52,610 --> 00:04:53,Yes, I **.
00:04:53,830 --> 00:04:54,I need some sun.
00:04:54,790 --> 00:04:56,Going to medical school when I get back.
00:04:56,590 --> 00:04:56,Oh, really?
00:04:57,390 --> 00:04:58,I have a great respect for doctors.
00:04:59,410 --> 00:05:00,Would you please take a bottle of single
00:05:00,870 --> 00:05:02,malt whisky to room 15?
00:05:02,450 --> 00:05:02,Of course.
00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:03,And you take care now.
00:05:04,030 --> 00:05:04,Yes, Mr Cranley.
00:05:06,130 --> 00:05:07,What do you mean, take care?
00:05:07,990 --> 00:05:09,Oh, it's nothing to get upset about.
00:05:09,630 --> 00:05:11,Jeff, would you please put one in each
00:05:11,150 --> 00:05:11,room, please?
00:05:12,070 --> 00:05:13,It's just that sometimes some of our visitors,
00:05:14,650 --> 00:05:16,our gentleman visitors, they get the wrong idea
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,about our girls, if you take my meaning.
00:05:17,890 --> 00:05:19,You mean they assume we're cool girls?
00:05:19,770 --> 00:05:20,Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:21,That's putting far...
00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:22,Yes, I guess that's it.
00:05:23,170 --> 00:05:24,270...
00:00:49,330 --> 00:00:50,End this afternoon's lectures.
00:00:52,070 --> 00:00:52,Thank you.
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:04,Good morning.
00:01:04,950 --> 00:01:05,Good morning.
00:01:05,710 --> 00:01:06,I'm Max Killader.
00:01:07,090 --> 00:01:08,Professor Max Killader?
00:01:08,350 --> 00:01:09,That is quite right.
00:01:09,350 --> 00:01:11,If you'll just wait a moment, Professor, I'll
00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:12,tell the assistant manager that you're here.
00:01:12,830 --> 00:01:13,Thank you.
00:01:13,790 --> 00:01:14,Do you mind filling out one of these
00:01:14,890 --> 00:01:15,for me, please?
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:16,Not at all.
00:01:16,950 --> 00:01:17,Oh, Mr Cranley?
00:01:18,350 --> 00:01:19,Yes, it's Bates here.
00:01:20,070 --> 00:01:22,Yes, Professor Max Killader has arrived.
00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,Yes, sir, I'll do that right away, sir.
00:01:25,110 --> 00:01:26,The assistant manager will be with you in
00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:27,one moment, sir.
00:01:27,550 --> 00:01:28,Very good.
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:29,Are they tarts?
00:01:30,710 --> 00:01:31,I'm sorry?
00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:33,The girls, are they tarts?
00:01:33,850 --> 00:01:35,Oh, I believe the students, Professor, are here
00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:36,for the conference.
00:01:36,470 --> 00:01:37,Yes, yes, of course.
00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:39,Many of them are here for my lectures.
00:01:39,630 --> 00:01:41,This is a holiday resort.
00:01:41,450 --> 00:01:43,Surely some of them are lobby girls?
00:01:43,750 --> 00:01:45,Ah, well, I...
00:01:45,090 --> 00:01:46,Can I help?
00:01:46,450 --> 00:01:48,I hope so, sir, because the professor here
00:01:48,550 --> 00:01:49,has a query.
00:01:49,390 --> 00:01:50,Well, that's what we're here to answer.
00:01:51,130 --> 00:01:51,Professor Killader?
00:01:52,010 --> 00:01:52,That's right.
00:01:52,630 --> 00:01:54,I'm Jasper Cranley, the assistant manager of the
00:01:54,690 --> 00:01:54,Greenleaf.
00:01:54,930 --> 00:01:55,How do you do?
00:01:55,570 --> 00:01:56,How do you do?
00:01:56,030 --> 00:01:57,Now, how can I help you, sir?
00:01:57,530 --> 00:01:59,Well, I simply ask if some of these
00:01:59,590 --> 00:02:01,girls here were hookers.
00:02:01,610 --> 00:02:01,Hookers?
00:02:01,970 --> 00:02:02,Yes.
00:02:02,610 --> 00:02:03,What a suggestion.
00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:06,Why, Professor Killader, the Greenleaf is just about
00:02:06,310 --> 00:02:08,the most discriminating hotel on the island.
00:02:09,009 --> 00:02:11,These girls are graduate students, most of them.
00:02:11,690 --> 00:02:13,I can assure you our security would allow
00:02:13,770 --> 00:02:15,nothing off colour in the lobby.
00:02:15,650 --> 00:02:16,Really?
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:17,How depressing.
00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:20,Now then, we were expecting you yesterday, Professor.
00:02:21,190 --> 00:02:22,I was delayed in Tokyo.
00:02:23,470 --> 00:02:25,I tried to cable from Moscow airport, but
00:02:25,450 --> 00:02:28,you know how ludicrously inefficient the Russians are.
00:02:28,610 --> 00:02:29,Fifteen, please.
00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:31,Do I have a suite or a room?
00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:33,Why, Professor, all of our accommodation consists of
00:02:33,730 --> 00:02:35,studio suites, which are made up of a
00:02:35,970 --> 00:02:38,large living area, a terrace, with a jacuzzi
00:02:38,550 --> 00:02:39,equipped bathroom.
00:02:39,510 --> 00:02:40,Yes, yes, I understand.
00:02:41,230 --> 00:02:42,It's a room.
00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:45,I suppose Professor Medox of Yale has g***t
00:02:45,070 --> 00:02:46,the only proper suite.
00:02:46,150 --> 00:02:48,I can assure you, Professor, there is no
00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,favouritism at the Greenleaf.
00:02:50,050 --> 00:02:52,All of you visiting archaeologists will receive the
00:02:52,290 --> 00:02:55,same high standard of personalised service and ultra
00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,modern but gracious accommodation.
00:02:57,490 --> 00:03:00,Why are these called the Virgin Islands?
00:03:01,410 --> 00:03:02,I've no idea.
00:03:03,030 --> 00:03:04,Seems a trifle ominous.
00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:13,I'll have a maid bring up your whisky,
00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:14,sir.
00:03:14,430 --> 00:03:15,Are the maids available?
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,This is a decent hotel, Professor.
00:03:19,370 --> 00:03:19,Really?
00:03:20,510 --> 00:03:21,I'm sorry.
00:03:21,870 --> 00:03:22,I apologise.
00:03:23,450 --> 00:03:24,I guess it's just that I'm feeling a
00:03:24,630 --> 00:03:25,little bit jumpy, sir.
00:03:25,370 --> 00:03:28,You see, my wife's returning from Boston tomorrow
00:03:28,030 --> 00:03:30,with our little girl, and I'm always kind
00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:31,of nervous when they fly, sir.
00:03:32,770 --> 00:03:35,Still, Professor, it might save embarrassment if you
00:03:35,130 --> 00:03:36,would just remember that this is a conference
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:37,hotel.
00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:39,Curly, have this put up in the lobby,
00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:39,please.
00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:41,I'll have it attended to, sir.
00:03:41,810 --> 00:03:42,Thank you.
00:03:46,090 --> 00:03:48,So, Barnum's arrived, has he?
00:03:48,030 --> 00:03:49,Good morning, Professor Maddox.
00:03:49,350 --> 00:03:49,Morning.
00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:51,You've turned your lobby into a casino.
00:03:51,890 --> 00:03:52,Really?
00:03:52,170 --> 00:03:56,The greatest showman of archaeology does the Mortimer
00:03:56,130 --> 00:03:56,Wheeler stunt.
00:03:57,290 --> 00:03:58,People come up to him with a bit
00:03:58,850 --> 00:04:01,of pottery or such like, and he says
00:04:01,590 --> 00:04:03,what it is, what they are.
00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:05,Only he does it for money.
00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:08,He bets the customers $100 he'll get it
00:04:08,450 --> 00:04:08,right.
00:04:08,810 --> 00:04:09,Does he always win?
00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:11,No, not always.
00:04:12,070 --> 00:04:14,Merely a modest nine times out of ten.
00:04:14,890 --> 00:04:16,Just enough to make him a small fortune.
00:04:17,350 --> 00:04:19,But I think he does it mainly to
00:04:19,690 --> 00:04:20,impress the girls.
00:04:20,450 --> 00:04:21,I see.
00:04:21,490 --> 00:04:22,Is there a Mrs Colada?
00:04:23,370 --> 00:04:23,No.
00:04:24,550 --> 00:04:28,He's, shall we say, addicted to variety.
00:04:29,610 --> 00:04:32,If Max Colada sees a girl twice, he
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:33,thinks the affair's getting stale.
00:04:33,830 --> 00:04:36,You mean he's a womaniser, a seducer.
00:04:39,610 --> 00:04:42,The Casanova de nos jours.
00:04:43,070 --> 00:04:44,You wanted to see me, Mr Cranley?
00:04:44,810 --> 00:04:45,I'm the roommate.
00:04:45,970 --> 00:04:46,Oh, yes.
00:04:46,550 --> 00:04:48,Aren't you the English girl, Ellie...
00:04:48,270 --> 00:04:48,Ellie Somerton.
00:04:49,150 --> 00:04:50,That's it, Miss Somerton.
00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:52,Are you here on a working vacation, Miss
00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:52,Somerton?
00:04:52,610 --> 00:04:53,Yes, I **.
00:04:53,830 --> 00:04:54,I need some sun.
00:04:54,790 --> 00:04:56,Going to medical school when I get back.
00:04:56,590 --> 00:04:56,Oh, really?
00:04:57,390 --> 00:04:58,I have a great respect for doctors.
00:04:59,410 --> 00:05:00,Would you please take a bottle of single
00:05:00,870 --> 00:05:02,malt whisky to room 15?
00:05:02,450 --> 00:05:02,Of course.
00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:03,And you take care now.
00:05:04,030 --> 00:05:04,Yes, Mr Cranley.
00:05:06,130 --> 00:05:07,What do you mean, take care?
00:05:07,990 --> 00:05:09,Oh, it's nothing to get upset about.
00:05:09,630 --> 00:05:11,Jeff, would you please put one in each
00:05:11,150 --> 00:05:11,room, please?
00:05:12,070 --> 00:05:13,It's just that sometimes some of our visitors,
00:05:14,650 --> 00:05:16,our gentleman visitors, they get the wrong idea
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,about our girls, if you take my meaning.
00:05:17,890 --> 00:05:19,You mean they assume we're cool girls?
00:05:19,770 --> 00:05:20,Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:21,That's putting far...
00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:22,Yes, I guess that's it.
00:05:23,170 --> 00:05:24,270...
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