Clarksons.Farm.S04E02.1080p.HEVC.x265-MeGusta[EZTVx.to] Subtitles
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00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,It was
now late February.
00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,Charlie and I were now
both busy looking for pubs.
00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:39,And as for the chuckle brother,
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,he was still on his
nationwide tour.
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,Thankfully, Harriet
was still around.
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:06,Today, building new pig pens
00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,in preparation for
the boar I'd hired
00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:12,to make some new piglets.
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,And, with that done,
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:19,I turned up with the farm's
perfume manufacturer.
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,Where's the
boar? Not you, not you.
00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:24,Harriet's bringing him down.
00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:28,And then, he's going
to service these three.
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,These are the ones we
gave birth to in March.
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,They're nearly one! We
can't get Ajax back,
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,you know, the boar
from last year?
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,- Obviously not 'cause that's their daddy.
- Exactly, he's their dad.
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,So we've g***t a new one
and he's called Josca.
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,- And he's on his way now.
- Josca.
00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,He's going to
service these three,
00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:47,but we've g***t to get
a move on, or he has.
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:50,We can have none of that "Oh,
I can't get it in" behaviour.
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,Because if we want Christmas
hams, which we do...
00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:53,Yeah.
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,And we're already at
the end of February,
00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,and it's three months, three
weeks and three days of pregnancy.
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:04,So I want him out of that,
"porkscrew" deployed,
00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:06,and ready for
docking procedures.
00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,Hey, Harriet. Morning.
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:11,I've
brought you a pig!
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:12,Oh, you're big enough.
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:14,- Hello, Josca.
- He's nice.
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,- Is he bigger than the last...
- Yes, he is.
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,- Bigger than Ajax? He is.
- Yes.
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,Come on, piggy
piggy! Down we go, piggy!
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,- Now there's a bit of food.
- Come on, Josca.
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:25,I don't want to
distract him from the ladies.
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:26,Yeah.
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:30,This is
what I want to see.
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,Come on, Josca. Let's have some action.
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:34,Let's have some "bébés".
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,He's frothing.
00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,This is a one-night stand
we're looking for here, mate.
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,Come on, hurry up,
quicker. Get on with it.
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:45,Rotters Nightclub, Doncaster,
1978: keep that in your mind.
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,So I'm just... So, let me just...
You reckon these are the girls?
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,Look on the bums and you
can see the little...
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,Clitoris. Clitoris.
00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:56,You can't! They don't
have clitorises.
00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:59,Hey! I promise you, they do.
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,Pigs have clitorises?!
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,I didn't know that this morning.
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:14,There has been no morning in the
last 63 years that I've known that.
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,- The little flicky bit?
- Yeah?
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:19,That's the clitoris. And
he says you can't see it...
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:20,- They all have them. Look at this one!
- Oh Jesus!
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:22,He can't find it
either, I can tell you.
00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:27,Why do they? Do
they? I thought humans...
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,Do you not know what
a clitoris looks like?
00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:29,I know, I do.
00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:30,Have you never found one?
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,- I know human girls have them.
- You've never seen one? All animals...
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,- They don't.
- It's the start of the vagina, love.
00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:41,Yes, they do! Look,
look, look, this one!
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,You can see the
flick, the flick.
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,- See? It's a little bean.
- "A little bean"!
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:48,- I can't!
- You can!
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,It looks
like a little... Oh.
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:57,To be honest, biology wasn't
the main thing on my mind with the pigs.
00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,My worry, along with all the
other pig farmers in the area,
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,such as Richard and Vanessa...
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:04,Hi, Jeremy.
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:05,Good to see you.
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:07,- Well...
- Not good, is it.
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,...was that
the local abattoir
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:12,had just shut down.
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,It's a very sad day
for all local farmers.
00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:20,I did some research last night.
00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:26,There are now only 49 local
abattoirs left in the whole country.
00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:30,There were a hundred
small abattoirs in 2007.
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,Then it was 60,
and now there's 49.
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,And they say that by
2030, there won't be any.
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,The legislation from the
government on abattoirs changes
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,every five minutes.
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,Makes it virtually impossible
to run an abattoir.
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:44,Yes.
00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,So all that farm-to-fork, you know,
the government's gone, "Yes, farm"...
00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:49,It's utterly crazy.
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:52,Nobody local can buy our pork,
nobody local can buy any local pork,
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,because we can't get it
slaughtered locally, now.
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,All our pigs are now in
one basket, so to speak,
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,and going to the supermarket.
00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:02,- But that's totally...
- Yeah, but who's slaughtering them?
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,They go on a
three-hour lorry trip.
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,So you just put yours
on a huge great lorry
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,which goes off to an
industrial slaughterhouse?
00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:10,Exactly.
00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:13,But when you've already g***t...
I've g***t 39 ready to go next week.
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,Yeah, the cost of the lorry and
the washing-out, that is just...
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,Exactly, it's
all just too expensive.
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:23,Oh, I don't know what to do. I've g***t
to work out something for next week,
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,'cause they're all ready to go.
00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:28,- Good luck.
- Yeah, good luck.
00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,Because my pig
enterprise was quite small,
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:36,there was no way I could
afford to hire my own lorry
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,to go to a far-away abattoir.
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:41,However,
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,I had to put that problem
on the back burner,
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:48,because I needed to show
Lisa a pub I'd found.
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:50,Have you g***t
a business plan?
00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,Yeah. You know
an Irish pub, I'm not sure
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,it's the same now,
but it used to be...
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:57,Well, you tell me actually,
'cause you're Irish.
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,In Ireland, it seemed
to me to be a pub
00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:02,and then on the other side,
you had like a village shop.
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:03,Oh, yeah!
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:07,The reason why they did that is 'cause
all the men would get paid on a Friday,
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,"Would
you get some bread and butter?"
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,And he'd go off with all
his wages, go to the pub,
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:16,and drink it all and come
home absolutely smashed and...
00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:17,And not buy
the bread and butter.
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:18,No, forget everything.
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,So half of the pub
was a little shop.
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,And as soon as the man went in,
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:27,the barman would take his
shopping list, pack it all up,
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:30,take the money out and then give him
the...
now late February.
00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,Charlie and I were now
both busy looking for pubs.
00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:39,And as for the chuckle brother,
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,he was still on his
nationwide tour.
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,Thankfully, Harriet
was still around.
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:06,Today, building new pig pens
00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,in preparation for
the boar I'd hired
00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:12,to make some new piglets.
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,And, with that done,
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:19,I turned up with the farm's
perfume manufacturer.
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,Where's the
boar? Not you, not you.
00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:24,Harriet's bringing him down.
00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:28,And then, he's going
to service these three.
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,These are the ones we
gave birth to in March.
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,They're nearly one! We
can't get Ajax back,
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,you know, the boar
from last year?
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,- Obviously not 'cause that's their daddy.
- Exactly, he's their dad.
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,So we've g***t a new one
and he's called Josca.
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,- And he's on his way now.
- Josca.
00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,He's going to
service these three,
00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:47,but we've g***t to get
a move on, or he has.
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:50,We can have none of that "Oh,
I can't get it in" behaviour.
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,Because if we want Christmas
hams, which we do...
00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:53,Yeah.
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,And we're already at
the end of February,
00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,and it's three months, three
weeks and three days of pregnancy.
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:04,So I want him out of that,
"porkscrew" deployed,
00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:06,and ready for
docking procedures.
00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,Hey, Harriet. Morning.
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:11,I've
brought you a pig!
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:12,Oh, you're big enough.
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:14,- Hello, Josca.
- He's nice.
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,- Is he bigger than the last...
- Yes, he is.
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,- Bigger than Ajax? He is.
- Yes.
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,Come on, piggy
piggy! Down we go, piggy!
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,- Now there's a bit of food.
- Come on, Josca.
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:25,I don't want to
distract him from the ladies.
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:26,Yeah.
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:30,This is
what I want to see.
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,Come on, Josca. Let's have some action.
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:34,Let's have some "bébés".
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,He's frothing.
00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,This is a one-night stand
we're looking for here, mate.
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,Come on, hurry up,
quicker. Get on with it.
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:45,Rotters Nightclub, Doncaster,
1978: keep that in your mind.
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,So I'm just... So, let me just...
You reckon these are the girls?
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,Look on the bums and you
can see the little...
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,Clitoris. Clitoris.
00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:56,You can't! They don't
have clitorises.
00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:59,Hey! I promise you, they do.
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,Pigs have clitorises?!
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,I didn't know that this morning.
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:14,There has been no morning in the
last 63 years that I've known that.
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,- The little flicky bit?
- Yeah?
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:19,That's the clitoris. And
he says you can't see it...
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:20,- They all have them. Look at this one!
- Oh Jesus!
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:22,He can't find it
either, I can tell you.
00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:27,Why do they? Do
they? I thought humans...
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,Do you not know what
a clitoris looks like?
00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:29,I know, I do.
00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:30,Have you never found one?
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,- I know human girls have them.
- You've never seen one? All animals...
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,- They don't.
- It's the start of the vagina, love.
00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:41,Yes, they do! Look,
look, look, this one!
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,You can see the
flick, the flick.
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,- See? It's a little bean.
- "A little bean"!
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:48,- I can't!
- You can!
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,It looks
like a little... Oh.
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:57,To be honest, biology wasn't
the main thing on my mind with the pigs.
00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,My worry, along with all the
other pig farmers in the area,
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,such as Richard and Vanessa...
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:04,Hi, Jeremy.
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:05,Good to see you.
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:07,- Well...
- Not good, is it.
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,...was that
the local abattoir
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:12,had just shut down.
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,It's a very sad day
for all local farmers.
00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:20,I did some research last night.
00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:26,There are now only 49 local
abattoirs left in the whole country.
00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:30,There were a hundred
small abattoirs in 2007.
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,Then it was 60,
and now there's 49.
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,And they say that by
2030, there won't be any.
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,The legislation from the
government on abattoirs changes
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,every five minutes.
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,Makes it virtually impossible
to run an abattoir.
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:44,Yes.
00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,So all that farm-to-fork, you know,
the government's gone, "Yes, farm"...
00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:49,It's utterly crazy.
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:52,Nobody local can buy our pork,
nobody local can buy any local pork,
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,because we can't get it
slaughtered locally, now.
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,All our pigs are now in
one basket, so to speak,
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,and going to the supermarket.
00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:02,- But that's totally...
- Yeah, but who's slaughtering them?
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,They go on a
three-hour lorry trip.
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,So you just put yours
on a huge great lorry
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,which goes off to an
industrial slaughterhouse?
00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:10,Exactly.
00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:13,But when you've already g***t...
I've g***t 39 ready to go next week.
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,Yeah, the cost of the lorry and
the washing-out, that is just...
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,Exactly, it's
all just too expensive.
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:23,Oh, I don't know what to do. I've g***t
to work out something for next week,
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,'cause they're all ready to go.
00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:28,- Good luck.
- Yeah, good luck.
00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,Because my pig
enterprise was quite small,
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:36,there was no way I could
afford to hire my own lorry
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,to go to a far-away abattoir.
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:41,However,
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,I had to put that problem
on the back burner,
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:48,because I needed to show
Lisa a pub I'd found.
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:50,Have you g***t
a business plan?
00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,Yeah. You know
an Irish pub, I'm not sure
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,it's the same now,
but it used to be...
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:57,Well, you tell me actually,
'cause you're Irish.
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,In Ireland, it seemed
to me to be a pub
00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:02,and then on the other side,
you had like a village shop.
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:03,Oh, yeah!
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:07,The reason why they did that is 'cause
all the men would get paid on a Friday,
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,"Would
you get some bread and butter?"
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,And he'd go off with all
his wages, go to the pub,
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:16,and drink it all and come
home absolutely smashed and...
00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:17,And not buy
the bread and butter.
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:18,No, forget everything.
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,So half of the pub
was a little shop.
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,And as soon as the man went in,
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:27,the barman would take his
shopping list, pack it all up,
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:30,take the money out and then give him
the...
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