Clarksons.Farm.S04E02.1080p.HEVC.x265-MeGusta[EZTVx.to] Subtitles

At 00:00:29,040, Character said: It was
now late February.

2
At 00:00:34,120, Character said: Charlie and I were now
both busy looking for pubs.

3
At 00:00:37,800, Character said: And as for the chuckle brother,

4
At 00:00:39,880, Character said: he was still on his
nationwide tour.

5
At 00:01:00,000, Character said: Thankfully, Harriet
was still around.

6
At 00:01:04,920, Character said: Today, building new pig pens

7
At 00:01:08,040, Character said: in preparation for
the boar I'd hired

8
At 00:01:10,560, Character said: to make some new piglets.

9
At 00:01:13,960, Character said: And, with that done,

10
At 00:01:15,640, Character said: I turned up with the farm's
perfume manufacturer.

11
At 00:01:20,560, Character said: Where's the
boar? Not you, not you.

12
At 00:01:22,760, Character said: Harriet's bringing him down.

13
At 00:01:24,840, Character said: And then, he's going
to service these three.

14
At 00:01:28,200, Character said: These are the ones we
gave birth to in March.

15
At 00:01:30,640, Character said: They're nearly one! We
can't get Ajax back,

16
At 00:01:33,560, Character said: you know, the boar
from last year?

17
At 00:01:35,360, Character said: - Obviously not 'cause that's their daddy.
- Exactly, he's their dad.

18
At 00:01:37,240, Character said: So we've g***t a new one
and he's called Josca.

19
At 00:01:39,640, Character said: - And he's on his way now.
- Josca.

20
At 00:01:42,160, Character said: He's going to
service these three,

21
At 00:01:44,720, Character said: but we've g***t to get
a move on, or he has.

22
At 00:01:47,200, Character said: We can have none of that "Oh,
I can't get it in" behaviour.

23
At 00:01:50,560, Character said: Because if we want Christmas
hams, which we do...

24
At 00:01:52,840, Character said: Yeah.

25
At 00:01:53,840, Character said: And we're already at
the end of February,

26
At 00:01:56,440, Character said: and it's three months, three
weeks and three days of pregnancy.

27
At 00:02:00,520, Character said: So I want him out of that,
"porkscrew" deployed,

28
At 00:02:04,800, Character said: and ready for
docking procedures.

29
At 00:02:07,640, Character said: Hey, Harriet. Morning.

30
At 00:02:10,200, Character said: I've
brought you a pig!

31
At 00:02:11,600, Character said: Oh, you're big enough.

32
At 00:02:13,080, Character said: - Hello, Josca.
- He's nice.

33
At 00:02:15,080, Character said: - Is he bigger than the last...
- Yes, he is.

34
At 00:02:16,640, Character said: - Bigger than Ajax? He is.
- Yes.

35
At 00:02:18,400, Character said: Come on, piggy
piggy! Down we go, piggy!

36
At 00:02:21,560, Character said: - Now there's a bit of food.
- Come on, Josca.

37
At 00:02:23,440, Character said: I don't want to
distract him from the ladies.

38
At 00:02:26,080, Character said: Yeah.

39
At 00:02:29,160, Character said: This is
what I want to see.

40
At 00:02:30,480, Character said: Come on, Josca. Let's have some action.

41
At 00:02:33,040, Character said: Let's have some "bébés".

42
At 00:02:35,000, Character said: He's frothing.

43
At 00:02:36,320, Character said: This is a one-night stand
we're looking for here, mate.

44
At 00:02:38,360, Character said: Come on, hurry up,
quicker. Get on with it.

45
At 00:02:41,440, Character said: Rotters Nightclub, Doncaster,
1978: keep that in your mind.

46
At 00:02:46,280, Character said: So I'm just... So, let me just...
You reckon these are the girls?

47
At 00:02:49,800, Character said: Look on the bums and you
can see the little...

48
At 00:02:52,400, Character said: Clitoris. Clitoris.

49
At 00:02:55,160, Character said: You can't! They don't
have clitorises.

50
At 00:02:56,920, Character said: Hey! I promise you, they do.

51
At 00:03:03,080, Character said: Pigs have clitorises?!

52
At 00:03:07,160, Character said: I didn't know that this morning.

53
At 00:03:10,320, Character said: There has been no morning in the
last 63 years that I've known that.

54
At 00:03:15,320, Character said: - The little flicky bit?
- Yeah?

55
At 00:03:16,920, Character said: That's the clitoris. And
he says you can't see it...

56
At 00:03:19,360, Character said: - They all have them. Look at this one!
- Oh Jesus!

57
At 00:03:20,960, Character said: He can't find it
either, I can tell you.

58
At 00:03:24,920, Character said: Why do they? Do
they? I thought humans...

59
At 00:03:27,200, Character said: Do you not know what
a clitoris looks like?

60
At 00:03:28,680, Character said: I know, I do.

61
At 00:03:29,640, Character said: Have you never found one?

62
At 00:03:33,000, Character said: - I know human girls have them.
- You've never seen one? All animals...

63
At 00:03:37,080, Character said: - They don't.
- It's the start of the vagina, love.

64
At 00:03:39,360, Character said: Yes, they do! Look,
look, look, this one!

65
At 00:03:41,960, Character said: You can see the
flick, the flick.

66
At 00:03:43,560, Character said: - See? It's a little bean.
- "A little bean"!

67
At 00:03:47,240, Character said: - I can't!
- You can!

68
At 00:03:48,640, Character said: It looks
like a little... Oh.

69
At 00:03:53,560, Character said: To be honest, biology wasn't
the main thing on my mind with the pigs.

70
At 00:03:58,040, Character said: My worry, along with all the
other pig farmers in the area,

71
At 00:04:01,600, Character said: such as Richard and Vanessa...

72
At 00:04:03,520, Character said: Hi, Jeremy.

73
At 00:04:04,880, Character said: Good to see you.

74
At 00:04:06,320, Character said: - Well...
- Not good, is it.

75
At 00:04:08,440, Character said: ...was that
the local abattoir

76
At 00:04:10,840, Character said: had just shut down.

77
At 00:04:14,320, Character said: It's a very sad day
for all local farmers.

78
At 00:04:18,280, Character said: I did some research last night.

79
At 00:04:21,440, Character said: There are now only 49 local
abattoirs left in the whole country.

80
At 00:04:27,280, Character said: There were a hundred
small abattoirs in 2007.

81
At 00:04:30,800, Character said: Then it was 60,
and now there's 49.

82
At 00:04:32,480, Character said: And they say that by
2030, there won't be any.

83
At 00:04:36,800, Character said: The legislation from the
government on abattoirs changes

84
At 00:04:40,280, Character said: every five minutes.

85
At 00:04:41,480, Character said: Makes it virtually impossible
to run an abattoir.

86
At 00:04:43,880, Character said: Yes.

87
At 00:04:44,880, Character said: So all that farm-to-fork, you know,
the government's gone, "Yes, farm"...

88
At 00:04:47,960, Character said: It's utterly crazy.

89
At 00:04:49,280, Character said: Nobody local can buy our pork,
nobody local can buy any local pork,

90
At 00:04:53,000, Character said: because we can't get it
slaughtered locally, now.

91
At 00:04:54,960, Character said: All our pigs are now in
one basket, so to speak,

92
At 00:04:58,000, Character said: and going to the supermarket.

93
At 00:05:00,840, Character said: - But that's totally...
- Yeah, but who's slaughtering them?

94
At 00:05:02,400, Character said: They go on a
three-hour lorry trip.

95
At 00:05:04,640, Character said: So you just put yours
on a huge great lorry

96
At 00:05:06,520, Character said: which goes off to an
industrial slaughterhouse?

97
At 00:05:09,280, Character said: Exactly.

98
At 00:05:10,280, Character said: But when you've already g***t...
I've g***t 39 ready to go next week.

99
At 00:05:14,080, Character said: Yeah, the cost of the lorry and
the washing-out, that is just...

100
At 00:05:16,960, Character said: Exactly, it's
all just too expensive.

101
At 00:05:20,280, Character said: Oh, I don't know what to do. I've g***t
to work out something for next week,

102
At 00:05:23,880, Character said: 'cause they're all ready to go.

103
At 00:05:26,280, Character said: - Good luck.
- Yeah, good luck.

104
At 00:05:29,920, Character said: Because my pig
enterprise was quite small,

105
At 00:05:33,120, Character said: there was no way I could
afford to hire my own lorry

106
At 00:05:36,440, Character said: to go to a far-away abattoir.

107
At 00:05:40,520, Character said: However,

108
At 00:05:41,760, Character said: I had to put that problem
on the back burner,

109
At 00:05:44,560, Character said: because I needed to show
Lisa a pub I'd found.

110
At 00:05:49,240, Character said: Have you g***t
a business plan?

111
At 00:05:50,680, Character said: Yeah. You know
an Irish pub, I'm not sure

112
At 00:05:53,520, Character said: it's the same now,
but it used to be...

113
At 00:05:55,640, Character said: Well, you tell me actually,
'cause you're Irish.

114
At 00:05:57,800, Character said: In Ireland, it seemed
to me to be a pub

115
At 00:05:59,640, Character said: and then on the other side,
you had like a village shop.

116
At 00:06:02,360, Character said: Oh, yeah!

117
At 00:06:03,640, Character said: The reason why they did that is 'cause
all the men would get paid on a Friday,

118
At 00:06:07,520, Character said: "Would
you get some bread and butter?"

119
At 00:06:10,640, Character said: And he'd go off with all
his wages, go to the pub,

120
At 00:06:13,080, Character said: and drink it all and come
home absolutely smashed and...

121
At 00:06:16,280, Character said: And not buy
the bread and butter.

122
At 00:06:17,400, Character said: No, forget everything.

123
At 00:06:18,400, Character said: So half of the pub
was a little shop.

124
At 00:06:22,000, Character said: And as soon as the man went in,

125
At 00:06:24,320, Character said: the barman would take his
shopping list, pack it all up,

126
At 00:06:27,560, Character said: take the money out and then give him
the...