Madam.2024.S01E02 Subtitles

00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,(UPBEAT PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:12,(MUSIC CONTINUES)

00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:22,(LINE RINGS)

00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:27,Welcome to Sweethearts.
How can we service you?

00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,Hi. It's, um...

00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:31,Uh, my name's S-Steven.

00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,I'm— I'm calling about, um—
- Hey, Steven.

00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:36,Thank you for choosing us.

00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,I was just on your,
um... website,

00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:44,and I noticed, uh...

00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,Jaz?
- Oh, Jaz is fantastic.

00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,What would you like
to do with her?

00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,Oh. Um... girlfriend experience?

00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,That's g***t... kissing?

00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:03,It does. Uh, Jaz can see
you today, if you like.

00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,- Oh.
- 4pm.

00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:07,Oh.

00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,Yeah, OK. Great.

00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:10,Oh, and, Steven,

00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,we don't do line-ups or unplanned
walk-ins like most brothels.

00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,This is about the
safety of our women.

00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:20,And if you're late or a
no-show, you will be charged.

00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,Oh, OK. So it's
quite, um, strict.

00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,Now, when you arrive,
you'll wait in your car

00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:32,for my text to
confirm Jaz is ready.

00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,Then you'll walk over
to the Beach Room,

00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:38,you'll knock on the door and
wait for Jaz to answer it.

00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,(CELL PHONE BUZZES)

00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:44,She will let you in. You'll
discuss any extras that you'd like.

00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:48,Then you'll pay upfront
and take a shower.

00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:51,Remember — it's her room,
Steven, and her rules.

00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:55,Either of you can withdraw
consent at any time.

00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:57,Have fun.

00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:59,Oh my God. You
actually turned up.

00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:01,(SQUEALS)
- Oh...

00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:05,Captions by Able.
www.able.co.nz

00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,(BIRDS SCREECH, TWITTER)

00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:16,We've literally had one
client since we've opened.

00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:19,People always take time to
get on board with change.

00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:21,Well, single parenting
is expensive.

00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:22,Advertising's been tough.

00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:25,But we expect to be up
on the Kiwichicks website

00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:26,by the end of the week.

00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,We might be ethical
and idealistic,

00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,but we are still a
viable business, so...

00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:34,Yeah, it's just cos some of the
other girls — not naming names...

00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,have been saying that
you're full of s***t.

00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,Yeah. That's... funny.

00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,Totally get it.

00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,As long as we
start making money.

00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:44,Like... soon.

00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,Do you know how expensive
it is to be this hairless?

00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,This coiffed?

00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,This hot, perfect,
flawless perfection?

00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,Word is getting out
— Slowly, but surely.

00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,Oh, cool. Cos— Cos this is
all, you know, quite new.

00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:02,Absolutely. For all of us.
But you are doing great.

00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:04,Yeah, but I haven't...
done anything.

00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:07,Yeah, but you're
thinking about it.

00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,So, on a scale from one
to ten, how f***d are we?

00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:15,I promise you — this is not just
a dream. This— It's gonna work.

00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,Trust me. Please?

00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,(EXHALES SOFTLY)

00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,(CELL PHONE BUZZES)

00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:36,(TENSE MUSIC)

00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,(SIGHS HEAVILY)

00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,(CHILDREN CHATTER IN DISTANCE)

00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:57,Excuse me?

00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,Mack?

00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,Sharon, is it?

00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,You do realise that
this is a day-care?

00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,- Yeah.
- And yours is a...

00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:09,Brothel.

00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,Uh, well, I'm a feminist.

00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,Same.

00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,But I've started a petition
to get you shut down.

00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:21,Yes, I know that.
You CC'd me in.

00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,Well, I'd hate to appear
anything but transparent.

00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,God forbid.

00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,(WINGS FLUTTER)

00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,(INTRIGUING MUSIC)

00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:35,I was thinking about
getting an undercut.

00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:38,- Is that like a Brazilian?
- German, I think.

00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,(INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES)

00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,TUI: Baby, come on.

00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:03,MAN ON PHONE: Dion told
me what you're up to.

00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,- Don't you miss me?
- It's disgusting.

00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,- Oi, what?
- You bloody kidding?

00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:08,What the f***k?

00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,What'd he say? Is
he gonna come here?

00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,No.

00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,Dion's told our regulars that
he caught us scraping semen

00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,from used condoms.

00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,So we're f***d?

00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,I mean we're not f***d.

00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,No drunks,

00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,no creeps, no line-ups,

00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,no walk ins, no
clients — no money.

00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:31,It's... It's one thing to tell
some violent f***r to go jump.

00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:34,But no line-ups? That's
just bad business.

00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:36,AMERICAN ACCENT: Uh,
I think you'll find

00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,that we're starting
a revolution.

00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:42,And I will not have my
girls compared to each other

00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,like pigs at a fair.

00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,Hello. Is this the Featherton
Bay Retirement Village?

00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:51,- Yeah.
- Great. My name is McKenzie Leigh.

00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:53,I actually wanted to
offer your residents

00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:56,the services of my new business.
- Yeah, OK. Yeah?

00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:59,It's called Sweethearts,
and it's a brothel.

00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,As a number of your residents may
not have had s***x for some decades,

00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:06,I figured it could be a—
- Thanks, but not for us. Bye.

00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:10,Hi, there. Is this Dennis
Hall, head of the, um,

00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:12,Featherton Bay Lions Club?
- Yeah, you g***t him.

00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:13,Great. Listen.

00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,I have started a brothel.
- (LAUGHS)

00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,I'm not saying change
your speed-dating night.

00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:21,I'm just suggesting that we could
piggyback some advertising on it

00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:25,and offer you a little
sweet discount offer.

00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:28,Oh, hi. Is this the
Carnivorous Plant Society?

00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,Hi. Is this the
Theological Society?

00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:34,Hi. Is this the North
Island Dentist Association?

00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,How do you guys feel
about (CLICKS TONGUE)

00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,jumping into some s***y time?

00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,I've, uh, started
an ethical brothel,

00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,and I think our values
completely align.

00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:46,Uh, no, this is not a God thing.
It's more of a get-laid thing.

00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,No, no, no.

00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:49,I get it.

00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,Thanks.

00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:57,I've reached out to high-needs
communities, widower groups

00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:00,and people who listen to Joe Rogan.
- And g***t no bookings.

00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,(CELL PHONE RINGS)

00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:07,What the hell?

00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,Oh.

00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:09,Mm-hm.

00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:11,Answer the phone. Take the call.

00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:14,I ** not letting creeps
into Sweethearts.

00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:15,Are these all criminals?

00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,No, just people who
sound ethically...

00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,- Like mashed dickhole.
- Drunk, high, perverted.

00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,- That's everyone.
- No, it's not.

00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:26,Listen, as soon as our
Kiwichicks advertising goes live,

00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,the men will come.

00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:31,- On our t***s. (SNIGGERS)
- (CHUCKLES)

00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,(SLIDING DOOR OPENS)

00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:44,- Here you go, partner.
- Oh. No.

00:07:44,720...