Maria Bamford The Special Special Special (2012) Subtitles

At 00:00:02,000, Character said: Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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At 00:00:08,000, Character said: Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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At 00:00:15,076, Character said: - THE REASON I DECIDED TO DO
THE SPECIAL HERE

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At 00:00:17,035, Character said: UH, WAS BECAUSE IT IS FREE
TO PERFORM IN YOUR OWN HOME.

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At 00:00:22,035, Character said: - WE ARE
AT THE MARIA BAMFORD SPECIAL!

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At 00:00:24,910, Character said: ARE YOU GUYS PSYCHED?
ARE WE ALL PSYCHED?

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At 00:00:28,659, Character said: - UH, SURE,
I'VE DONE TELEVISION SHOWS.

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At 00:00:31,452, Character said: I'VE BEEN IN A FEW SECONDS
OF CERTAIN MOVIES,

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At 00:00:36,243, Character said: BUT THE PEOPLE
I'M REALLY CREATING THINGS FOR

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At 00:00:39,910, Character said: ARE JOEL AND MARILYN BAMFORD,
MY PARENTS.

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At 00:00:43,493, Character said: I DO KNOW THEIR NAMES,
JOEL...

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At 00:00:45,868, Character said: AND MARILYN BAMFORD.

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At 00:00:49,576, Character said: - IT'S MARIA BAMFORD,

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At 00:00:51,493, Character said: PERFORMING LIVE
IN HER OWN LIVING ROOM

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At 00:00:53,368, Character said: IN EAGLE ROCK, CALIFORNIA.

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At 00:00:54,784, Character said: IT'S
THE SPECIAL SPECIAL SPECIAL!

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At 00:00:57,659, Character said: TONIGHT'S ONLY
AUDIENCE MEMBERS,

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At 00:01:00,410, Character said: MARIA'S PARENTS.

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At 00:01:02,701, Character said: - IT'S GONNA BE
A SPECIAL, SPECIAL SPECIAL.

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At 00:01:11,951, Character said: MY CURLING IRON'S PRETTY HOT.

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At 00:01:14,118, Character said: THESE CURLS ARE GONNA BE TIGHT.

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At 00:01:17,076, Character said: - ALL RIGHT, AND WE'RE READY.

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At 00:01:18,868, Character said: LET'S HEAR YOU LAUGH.
LET'S HEAR YOU LAUGH.

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At 00:01:22,368, Character said: AND THAT'S WHAT I THINK.

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At 00:01:23,784, Character said: THAT'S RIGHT.
WE'RE READY TO BEGIN.

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At 00:01:25,618, Character said: WAYNE, LET'S GET SOME MUSIC
GOING, GET MARIA OUT HERE.

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At 00:01:27,951, Character said: YOU KNOW HER FROM BIRTH.

28
At 00:01:29,451, Character said: YOU'VE KNOWN HER
FOR A LONG TIME,

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At 00:01:30,618, Character said: SINCE THE VERY BEGINNING.

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At 00:01:31,951, Character said: LET'S HAVE A BIG ROUND
OF APPLAUSE,

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At 00:01:33,534, Character said: A BIG EAGLE ROCK WELCOME
FOR MARIA BAMFORD.

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At 00:01:38,784, Character said: - JACKIE KASHIAN,
WAYNE FEDERMAN.

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At 00:01:42,993, Character said: WHOA! BOOM!

34
At 00:01:44,993, Character said: YEAH.

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At 00:01:46,368, Character said: YEAH, EAGLE ROCK!

36
At 00:01:49,534, Character said: THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMING,
MOM AND DAD.

37
At 00:01:53,576, Character said: I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,

38
At 00:01:55,576, Character said: BUT I'M REALLY PRETTY CONCERNED
ABOUT CELEBRITY CHEF PAULA DEEN,

39
At 00:02:00,368, Character said: BECAUSE NOW HER RECIPES
REALLY READ LIKE A SUICIDE NOTE.

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At 00:02:04,743, Character said: YOU KNOW, WE GONNA BE MAKING

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At 00:02:06,910, Character said: SOME SWEET CREAMS,

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At 00:02:08,368, Character said: LITTLE BALLS
OF BUTTER CHURNED IN CRISCO,

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At 00:02:10,743, Character said: FATBACK CRACKLINGS,
BLUBBER,

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At 00:02:12,784, Character said: MARGARINE, MAYONNAISE, EACH DAY
I WAKE TO A FRESH NIGHTMARE.

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At 00:02:17,409, Character said: THE PAIN IS TOO GREAT.

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At 00:02:19,576, Character said: ROLL THAT
IN SOME GRANULATED SUGAR,

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At 00:02:21,409, Character said: POWDERED SUGAR, CANDY,

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At 00:02:22,993, Character said: CANDY COAT, GUMMY SNACKS,
MELBA TOAST, CUPCAKES...

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At 00:02:30,826, Character said: SOME NERDS.

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At 00:02:31,910, Character said: DON'T LOOK FOR ME.

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At 00:02:33,618, Character said: I'VE MADE A PLAN, AND I WILL
FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT.

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At 00:02:36,118, Character said: DRESS THAT IN SOME FUDGE.

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At 00:02:37,993, Character said: HEAVY CREAM,
WHIPPED CREAM, SOUR CREAM,

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At 00:02:40,618, Character said: ICE CREAM, CAKE BATTER,
PEANUT BUTTER,

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At 00:02:43,576, Character said: FRENCH-FRIED STUFF,
MARSHMALLOW FLUFF, WAFFLE.

56
At 00:02:54,035, Character said: AN EGG.

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At 00:02:55,784, Character said: BON APETIT, AND GOOD-BYE."

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At 00:02:59,076, Character said: SHE'LL BE FINE.

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At 00:03:01,409, Character said: I'M TRYING TO LEARN TO COOK.

60
At 00:03:03,202, Character said: EVERYBODY ALWAYS SAYS
HOW EASY IT IS TO COOK,

61
At 00:03:05,202, Character said: BUT IT IS NOT ANY EASIER
THAN NOT COOKING.

62
At 00:03:10,035, Character said: OH, JUST GET A REALLY GOOD
VIRGIN OLIVE OIL.

63
At 00:03:12,951, Character said: UH, GIRL SCOUT COOKIE
WRAPPED IN MEAT?

64
At 00:03:17,618, Character said: OH, NO, JUST SLICE UP A COUPLE
OF VEGETABLES,

65
At 00:03:21,035, Character said: SQUEEZY CHEESE ON FINGER,
CAN OF WINE.

66
At 00:03:30,160, Character said: NO, JUST...

67
At 00:03:33,243, Character said: PREHEAT THE OVEN TO--
AAH!

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At 00:03:37,160, Character said: HOT POWER BAR
FROM GLOVE COMPARTMENT.

69
At 00:03:40,284, Character said: OOH, DOODLY-DOO, DOODLY-DOO,
DOODLY-DOO.

70
At 00:03:42,659, Character said: FRESH FROM THE OVEN.

71
At 00:03:49,076, Character said: SO, UM...

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At 00:03:52,118, Character said: I WISH THEY'D PROVIDE RECIPES
FOR FOOD

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At 00:03:53,618, Character said: THAT YOU CAN GET
AT THE GAS STATION.

74
At 00:03:55,202, Character said: HAVE YOU EVER HAD A GAS STATION
TUNA FISH SANDWICH?

75
At 00:03:58,868, Character said: OH, MY GOSH. SO GOOD,
'CAUSE THERE'S NO TUNA IT.

76
At 00:04:02,618, Character said: IT'S JUST
A SCRUMPTIOUS FISHY NOUGAT.

77
At 00:04:07,243, Character said: OR A GAS STATION MUFFIN--

78
At 00:04:09,243, Character said: YOU'D HAVE TO START
WITH THE COLOR YELLOW.

79
At 00:04:12,659, Character said: THOSE BEAUTIFUL GOLDEN GIANTS,

80
At 00:04:15,451, Character said: HOW DO THEY MAKE THEM
SEEM SO REAL?

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At 00:04:19,743, Character said: I ALWAYS WANT TO CALL UP

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At 00:04:21,160, Character said: ONE OF THOSE
PUBLIC-RADIO COOKING SHOWS,

83
At 00:04:22,910, Character said: AND ASK, "HI, MY HUSBAND AND I--
WE LOVE THE SHOW.

84
At 00:04:26,451, Character said: "GUESTS ARE COMING IN AT 6:00.

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At 00:04:27,951, Character said: "I'M GONNA PICK UP
THE SLURPEES AT 5:45.

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At 00:04:30,284, Character said: "THE CORN-DOG TAQUITO ROLLERS--

87
At 00:04:31,910, Character said: IN ORDER TO KEEP THEM WARM,
DO I JUST SIT ON THEM?"

88
At 00:04:39,493, Character said: "I'LL TAKE MY ANSWER
OFF THE AIR."

89
At 00:04:44,160, Character said: I HAVE SOME FRIENDS
WHO ARE HEALTH ORIENTED,

90
At 00:04:47,284, Character said: AND THEY SAY THINGS LIKE,
"YOU KNOW, YOU LOVE CARROT CAKE.

91
At 00:04:51,284, Character said: ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS JUST PUT
A CARROT IN A CAKE PAN."

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At 00:04:54,451, Character said: OH, YOU MEAN INSTEAD OF HAVING
SOMETHING THAT I REALLY LIKE,

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At 00:04:58,326, Character said: HAVE A LOT OF SOMETHING
THAT I REALLY HATE?

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At 00:05:01,993, Character said: IN THAT VEIN, I HAVE, UH...

95
At 00:05:05,492, Character said: EXCHANGED
MY AFTERNOON M&M SNACK

96
At 00:05:09,326, Character said: WITH A LONG WALK THROUGH
THE TUNNELS OF THE L.A. RIVER,

97
At 00:05:13,701, Character said: AND I LISTEN TO MYSELF
MAKING THIS NOISE.

98
At 00:05:24,492, Character said: IT'S ALMOST
A LITTLE TOO RICH.

99
At 00:05:26,743, Character said: A LITTLE TOO SWEET.

100
At 00:05:33,868, Character said: I WOULD LIKE TO BE
A VEGETARIAN,

101
At 00:05:35,784, Character said: BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO THINK
THAT I'D BE AN OSKAR SCHINDLER

102
At 00:05:38,534, Character said: IN THE FACE
OF A SYSTEMATIC GENOCIDE,

103
At 00:05:41,451, Character said: BUT APPARENTLY, FIRST, THEY CAME
FOR THE CHEESEBURGERS,

104
At 00:05:44,367, Character said: AND I SAID NOTHING
'CAUSE I WAS NOT A CHEESEBURGER.

105
At 00:05:59,035, Character said: OKAY.

106
At 00:06:00,201, Character said: NOT COOL.

107
At 00:06:02,367, Character said: NOT COOL.

108
At 00:06:04,409, Character said: OKAY.

109
At 00:06:06,242, Character said: AH, HA HA!

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At 00:06:08,576, Character said: COOKIES. COOKIES!

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At 00:06:11,409, Character said: THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO SPECIAL.

112
At 00:06:16,367, Character said: HEY, RIGHT?

113
At 00:06:18,618, Character said: ANYBODY?

114
At 00:06:21,618, Character said: OOH, AH.
COOKIES, HERE YOU GO.

115
At 00:06:25,367, Character said: HERE YOU GO.
PLEASE.

116
At 00:06:26,826, Character said: - WOW.
- PLEASE TAKE ONE OR--

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At 00:06:29,618, Character said: - WELL, YEAH--

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At 00:06:31,076, Character said: WELL, OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE TWO.

119
At 00:06:34,035, Character said: WE G***T TO MAKE SURE
THERE'S ENOUGH

120
At 00:06:35,868, Character said: FOR EVERYBODY IN THE CREW.

121
At 00:06:37,493, Character said: G***T TO MAKE SURE.

122
At 00:06:40,076, Character said: WOULD YOU LIKE A COOKIE?

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At 00:06:42,284, Character said: YES.

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At 00:06:43,618, Character said: ♪ ♪

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At 00:06:45,284, Character said: YES.

126
At 00:06:47,159, Character said: OH, SOUND FRIEND?

127
At 00:06:49,451, Character said: WE'LL HAVE TO KEEP...

128
At 00:06:51,826, Character said: - HERE, I'LL TAKE THE TRAY.

129
At 00:06:53,284, Character said: - OH, OKAY.
OH, GREAT, GREAT.

130
At 00:06:55,035, Character said: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

131
At 00:06:58,659, Character said: OKAY.

132
At 00:07:02,076, Character said: VERY NICE.
VERY NICE.

133
At 00:07:05,826, Character said: NOW, I SEE
THERE'S A LOVING COUPLE

134
At 00:07:08,284, Character said: IN THE AUDIENCE TONIGHT.

135
At 00:07:11,451, Character said: I MYSELF HAVE NOT HAD
A LOT OF CONFIDENCE.

136
At 00:07:15,701, Character said: I HAVE NOT HAD THE GIFT OF,
"YEAH, WE BOTH MET,

137
At 00:07:20,492, Character said: AND WE BOTH
JUST KIND OF KNEW."

138
At 00:07:22,868, Character said: OH, OH, SO YOU GUYS NEVER FIGHT
ABOUT ANYTHING?

139
At 00:07:27,075, Character said: "OH...

140
At 00:07:29,242, Character said: HE DOESN'T LIKE ONIONS."

141
At 00:07:31,701, Character said: OH, SO YOU NEVER HAD ANY ISSUES
YOU HAD TO WORK THROUGH

142
At 00:07:35,451, Character said: WITH, LIKE, A F***G WORKBOOK?

143
At 00:07:37,868, Character said: "YOU KNOW, IF WERE YOU, I'D JUST
WATCH OUT FOR RED FLAGS."

144
At 00:07:41,326, Character said: OH, OKAY.

145
At 00:07:42,826, Character said: BUT WHAT IF I'M, LIKE,
A FLAG FACTORY

146
At 00:07:47,284, Character said: THAT ONLY MANUFACTURES
GIANT RED FLAGS.

147
At 00:08:00,868, Character said: "MAYBE YOU NEED TO LEARN
TO BE THE ONE

148
At 00:08:02,743, Character said: BEFORE YOU MEET THE ONE."

149
At 00:08:04,034, Character said: OH, IS THAT BOB DYLAN?

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