Kung.Fury.2015.1080p.BluRay.Remux.eng Subtitles

00:00:18,958 --> 00:00:22,Hey, you g***t a permit
for those guns?

00:00:22,708 --> 00:00:25,I g***t your permit right here.

00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:38,Catchy tune.

00:00:45,542 --> 00:00:48,F***k this game.

00:00:48,125 --> 00:00:50,F***K YOU!

00:01:25,625 --> 00:01:30,We need backup, we need Kung Fury.

00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:49,Yeah, that's my bicep.

00:01:50,625 --> 00:01:52,One second babe.

00:01:52,792 --> 00:01:53,Hello?

00:01:53,584 --> 00:01:55,We g***t an arcade
machine down here going crazy,

00:01:55,833 --> 00:01:58,it is killing everybody, it's
destruction, chaos, terror-

00:02:00,042 --> 00:02:01,What are you gonna do?

00:02:01,625 --> 00:02:02,My job.

00:03:12,542 --> 00:03:14,Game over.

00:03:19,583 --> 00:03:24,I'm a cop and
d***n good at my job.

00:03:24,375 --> 00:03:26,It all began years ago.

00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:27,In the line of duty,

00:03:27,792 --> 00:03:29,me and my partner were
chasing down

00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,a mysterious Kung Fu-master.

00:03:32,708 --> 00:03:34,You're under arrest, punk.

00:03:34,875 --> 00:03:36,Show us your hands.

00:03:38,292 --> 00:03:39,Good work, Dragon.

00:03:39,375 --> 00:03:41,That crazy stunt could've
killed us both.

00:03:41,167 --> 00:03:44,But goddammit, you're the
best partner I've ever had.

00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:47,Thanks, I learned from the best,

00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,You're like a father to me,

00:03:49,708 --> 00:03:53,With one fatal blow,
he hit my partner.

00:03:54,833 --> 00:03:57,I could tell
he was dead straight off.

00:04:03,792 --> 00:04:06,Before I could pull the trigger

00:04:06,708 --> 00:04:11,I was hit by lightning
and bitten by a cobra.

00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:13,I blacked out.

00:04:15,292 --> 00:04:19,And saw images of ancient
Shaolin temples and monks,

00:04:19,167 --> 00:04:21,mastering the art of Kung Fu.

00:04:21,792 --> 00:04:22,There was an ancient prophecy,

00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,about a new form
of Kung Fu so powerful,

00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:28,only one man could master it.

00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:30,The chosen one,

00:04:31,667 --> 00:04:32,When I woke up,

00:04:32,668 --> 00:04:35,I saw the Kung Fu master
running towards me.

00:04:35,750 --> 00:04:37,I could feel my body mutate

00:04:37,458 --> 00:04:41,into some sort of
Kung Fu freak of nature,

00:04:53,292 --> 00:04:55,You!

00:04:55,208 --> 00:04:57,You are the chosen one!

00:04:58,375 --> 00:05:01,- Knock, knock.
- Who's there?

00:05:02,167 --> 00:05:04,Knuckles.

00:05:24,708 --> 00:05:26,As a memento,

00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:29,I put on a strip of cloth
from the dead Kung Fu master.

00:05:29,333 --> 00:05:32,I decided I would use
my new super Kung Fu powers

00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:33,to fight crime.

00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:36,So, I became
the best cop in the world.

00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:39,I became, Kung Fury.

00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,I don't wanna hear it Kung Fury,

00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,I just g***t back from city hall,
$50 million worth of damages,

00:06:38,042 --> 00:06:41,and I g***t the mayor up
my a***s like a fag on Viagra,

00:06:41,583 --> 00:06:45,How ** I going to explain
this to the press?

00:06:45,375 --> 00:06:49,You just destroyed an entire
city block for Christ's sake.

00:06:49,792 --> 00:06:51,Didn't you tell me
to block it out?

00:06:51,875 --> 00:06:53,I told you do it by the book.

00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:55,Cut the bullshit.

00:06:55,083 --> 00:06:56,Nobody else could have stopped

00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:59,that arcade machine
and you know it.

00:07:00,292 --> 00:07:03,Oh man, listen to me Kung Fury.

00:07:03,375 --> 00:07:07,You need to start following
the rules like the rest of us,

00:07:07,458 --> 00:07:09,so I'm assigning you
a new partner.

00:07:09,833 --> 00:07:12,What?
Hell no, I work alone.

00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,Not anymore you don't.

00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:17,Say hi to your new partner,
Triceracop,

00:07:17,708 --> 00:07:19,Very nice meeting you Kung Fury,

00:07:19,375 --> 00:07:22,looking forward to
working with you.

00:07:22,292 --> 00:07:25,You're like a father to me,

00:07:27,417 --> 00:07:28,I work alone,

00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:31,Either you team up
with Triceracop,

00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:33,or you're off the case.

00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:35,I'm not off the case,

00:07:35,583 --> 00:07:37,I quit.

00:07:47,833 --> 00:07:51,Yeah Yeah, I did the blood test.

00:07:51,250 --> 00:07:52,It was positive, yeah?

00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:54,What the hell are you talking about?

00:07:54,458 --> 00:07:55,Yeah no problem.

00:07:55,833 --> 00:07:57,Give me the phone.

00:08:04,042 --> 00:08:06,What the hell is this?

00:08:07,833 --> 00:08:11,- Chief McNickles speaking.
- Is this the police?

00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:15,- Yeah, this is the police.
- F***k you!

00:08:34,083 --> 00:08:37,I need someone
to trace that call!

00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:38,But that's impossible!

00:08:38,875 --> 00:08:41,Not for me it isn't,

00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:51,Hackerman, he's the
most powerful hacker of all time.

00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:57,Follow me.

00:08:58,792 --> 00:09:02,I was able to
triangulate the cell phone signal

00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,and trace the caller.

00:09:04,917 --> 00:09:06,His name is Adolf Hitler.

00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:10,Hitler, he's the worst
criminal of all time.

00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,Do you know him, sir?

00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:13,I guess you could say that.

00:09:13,417 --> 00:09:17,In the 1940's,
Hitler was a Kung Fu champion.

00:09:17,417 --> 00:09:18,He was so good at Kung Fu,

00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:24,that he decided to change
his name to Kung Fuhrer.

00:09:24,375 --> 00:09:25,But he didn't stop there.

00:09:25,917 --> 00:09:28,He knew of
the Kung Fury prophecy,

00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:29,and wanted to claim the throne.

00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:32,He and his posse of
Nazi soldiers

00:09:32,292 --> 00:09:35,conducted experiments for years,

00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:47,But they weren't able
to figure out

00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:51,how to master the art
of Kung Fury.

00:09:51,875 --> 00:09:52,And one day,

00:09:52,876 --> 00:09:55,he disappeared
from the face of the earth.

00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:58,And no-one has seen him
ever since.

00:09:58,417 --> 00:09:59,Until now.

00:09:59,293 --> 00:10:02,I guess he figured if he could
find and kill the chosen one,

00:10:02,875 --> 00:10:04,he would become
Kung Fury himself.

00:10:04,625 --> 00:10:07,He must have traveled in time
in order to get here,

00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:10,that's probably why
he disappeared.

00:10:10,833 --> 00:10:12,So, what're you gonna do?

00:10:13,167 --> 00:10:13,My job.

00:10:13,959 --> 00:10:16,I'm gonna go back in time
to Nazi Germany,

00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:18,and kill Hitler,
once and for all.

00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:21,So, how are you gonna do that?

00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:22,I'm not sure.

00:10:22,708 --> 00:10:25,I need some sort of
time machine.

00:10:29,417 --> 00:10:30,Wait a minute,

00:10:30,376 --> 00:10:32,using an RX modulator,
I might be able to conduct

00:10:32,375 --> 00:10:36,a mainframe cell direct and
hack the uplink to the download.

00:10:36,042 --> 00:10:37,What does that mean?

00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:41,With the right algorithms,
I can hack you back in time.

00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:43,Just like a time machine.

00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:46,Well then, it's hacking time.

00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:07,No!

00:13:11,042 --> 00:13:12,F***k!

00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:13,That's a Laser-Raptor.

00:13:13,958 --> 00:13:17,I thought they went
extinct thousands of years ago.

00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,Who are you?

00:13:44,208 --> 00:13:45,My name,

00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:47,is Barbarianna.

00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,What year is this?

00:13:56,292 --> 00:13:57,It's the Viking age.

00:13:57,708 --> 00:14:00,That explains the Laser-Raptor.
F***k!

00:14:00,750 --> 00:14:02,I went too far back in time.

00:14:02,792 --> 00:14:04,You need to get out
of this valley.

00:14:04,583 --> 00:14:07,This place is swarming
with Laser-Raptors.

00:14:07,042 --> 00:14:11,I'll meet you at the God's drop.
Katana can help you get there.

00:14:11,458 --> 00:14:12,Who's Katana?

00:14:12,958 --> 00:14:15,I'm Katana.

00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,I can give you a ride to Asgard.

00:14:20,833 --> 00:14:22,A ride on...