Porkys 1 (1981).English Subtitles

00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:41,Good morning, Angel Beach.
It's April 12.

00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:45,This is Gene Morrison coming
to you from W. A. C. N. Angel Beach

00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:48,nestled by the shore
in fabulous south Florida.

00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:50,It's a bright,
beautiful spring day.

00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:53,President Eisenhower's running
a tight ship of state.

00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:54,Get it at Porky's.

00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,The stars are secure and the
rent's paid for the month.

00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,So all's right
with the world, so...

00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:06,Let's get out there and
get America moving forward.

00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:09,It's 64 degrees, expecting
to reach a high of 76.

00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:11,Not a drop of rain in sight.

00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,Good news for
the beach bunnies

00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,but bad news
for the farm boys.

00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:19,Now to help you start the day,
the singin' rage, Miss Patty Page.

00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:31,Edward,
you'll be late to school.

00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:35,Edward. Up. Right now.

00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:38,I've g***t things to do,
you hear?

00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:41,Hit
the floor. Right now.

00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:57,Edward Morris.

00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:01,You be at
the breakfast table in five

00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:04,minutes or you don't
play ball this week.

00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,Pee Wee, what's wrong?

00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:08,Oh, nothing. I just pulled
a little muscle in my groin.

00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:10,Oh, be careful.

00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:12,Your father wants you to
drop him off at the office.

00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,The car won't start.

00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:16,And be sure you pick up
those clothes at the tailor's.

00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,Instant eunuch.

00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:39,S***t.

00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,Oh, it is.
It's gettin' shorter.

00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,S***t.

00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:17,Hey, did you get
the colored guy?

00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:18,Does a fat dog fart?

00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:19,Well, what's he look like?

00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:23,Like an African Zulu man.
6'4", two huge gold teeth.

00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:24,Great.

00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:37,Where did you find him?

00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,He works for my old man's
construction company.

00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:43,Doesn't know what the hell I'm
talking about, but he's willing

00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:45,and he'll do it
for 10 bucks.

00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,Ten bucks, not bad. Yeah.
You sure the broad's all set?

00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:49,Oh, there's no problem there.
She's...

00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:59,Jarvis, you stupid redneck.

00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:02,Whoo. You better duck, you suckers,
when Jarvis is at the wheel.

00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,Billy boy,
y'all get the nigger?

00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:13,Come on, Jarvis. You mean
the colored guy. The Negro.

00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:14,Poor white trash.

00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:16,F***k you and
the horse you rode in on.

00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:19,"F***k you and the horse you rode in
on. " That's colorful redneck humor.

00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,Right.
Kiss my rebel a***s.

00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:21,And that's another one.

00:05:21,612 --> 00:05:23,Yeah, you should be writing
these down. Immigrants.

00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,Y'all goin' back to
Oklahoma and Michigan

00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,and kiss a***s with all
the Negroes you want.

00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:28,This is Dixie, baby,
where we do things right.

00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:30,Hey, Jarvis.
How come you don't have

00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:31,four first names
like most hillbillies?

00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:35,You know, like Billy Joe Jim
Bob or Flora May Sally Sue.

00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:38,I had a cousin named Billy Joe Jim
Bob and he was killed in the war,

00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,so just watch
what you're saying.

00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:43,Aw, gee, I didn't
know, Mickey. I'm sorry.

00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,Anyway, did you
get the Negro?

00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,Yeah, we g***t one.

00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:48,The guy's 6'4",
has gold teeth.

00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:50,He's the meanest-lookin'
mother you ever saw.

00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,Hot d***n! They're gonna croak when
this guy jumps out! Who's goin'?

00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:55,Hey, Tommy.
Wait a minute.

00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:57,Did you get it?

00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:00,I found a place that's
g***t one. I'll go tomorrow.

00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,Don't let me down. I'm
gonna get that little creep.

00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:04,Who's she gonna get?

00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:05,Pee Wee.

00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:08,Didn't you hear about
the other night? No.

00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,You didn't hear about that?

00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:10,You sure you didn't hear
about the other night?

00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:13,Well, we figure we gotta
get Pee Wee laid, right?

00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:14,So I fix him up with Wendy.

00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:16,Pee Wee and Wendy?

00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,Shh. D***n, I thought she
had better taste than that.

00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,All he had to do
was knock it off.

00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,You know, they're makin' out.
And you know Wendy.

00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:27,She reaches down, she unzips
his fly and she grabs his c***k.

00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:28,Guess what.

00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:29,What?

00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,The little b***d
already had a rubber on.

00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:32,Oh, bullshit.

00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,I swear. Wendy told me.
Why would she lie?

00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:37,Horny little mother
wore a rubber to his date.

00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:40,She g***t so pissed off, she
wouldn't even let him touch her.

00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,Hi. My name is Mindy.

00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:51,Can I ask you something?

00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:52,Yeah, sure.

00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:54,Why do they call you Meat?

00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:57,I don't know.

00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:00,Wendy Williams told
me I should ask you.

00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:04,She did, huh?
Uh-huh.

00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:07,Why do they call you Meat?
'Cause you're so big?

00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:09,Yeah, sort of.

00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:12,Not sort of. Why?

00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,You really wanna know?
Yes.

00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,Okay. Come on, I'll show you.

00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,Meat, Meat, Meat.
Wait, wait, wait.

00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,She's only a freshman.

00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,Yeah. But after this,
she'll be an instant senior.

00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:23,But Meat, listen.
If you get suspended again,

00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,you'll never get that
scholarship to Princeton.

00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,Now think about that.

00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,I'm sorry, babe.
No cigar. Can't do it.

00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:33,He won't tell me.

00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:34,Come on. Come on.

00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:35,Aw, shoot.

00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:41,Hey, you guys.
Wait up.

00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:44,Speakin' of horny mothers,
it's ready Eddie.

00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:45,Come on, be serious, now.
I'm goin' tonight, right?

00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,I don't know, Pee Wee. Even
a nymphomaniac has standards.

00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:49,She lives with
a big black stud.

00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:51,He catches you, he's
gonna cut your pecker off.

00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:52,He's bringin' tweezers.

00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,I don't care if she lives
with a blue-assed baboon.

00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:56,She likes to screw, right?
Oh, she loves it.

00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:58,Especially young guys.
The more, the merrier.

00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:00,What's she look like?
She good-looking?

00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:01,Well, she's not bad.

00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:03,She's g***t a great body,
moves like an eagle.

00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:05,That's the way I like 'em.

00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:06,You like 'em any way,
as long as they're not dead.

00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:09,I don't care if they're dead,
as long as they're not too cold.

00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,Come here, man.

00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:14,Let's not invite too many guys.
That way we all get her twice.

00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,Listen to this midget.
He's not even invited

00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,and he's making
up the guest list.

00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:19,I'm going tonight! You're not
cuttin' me out of any...