Beavis And Butt-head S03 E01 Comedians Kingturd V2 Subtitles

At 00:00:00,450, Character said: COMEDIANS

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At 00:00:05,539, Character said: You ever wonder what
happens to all the

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At 00:00:08,304, Character said: rubber bands and
paper clips you lose?

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At 00:00:10,999, Character said: I.. I think they are going to some
alternate layer of the universe...

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At 00:00:16,667, Character said: You ever notice these "Warning"
labels on shaving cream cans?

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At 00:00:20,438, Character said: They say: "Do not use near an open flame".

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At 00:00:23,841, Character said: Now, I know whenever I go to shave
I like to fire up the old Bunsen burner.

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At 00:00:28,612, Character said: You know what I mean, hey?

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At 00:00:32,517, Character said: Coming up next: the
comedy super star who

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At 00:00:36,064, Character said: roll with the punches and laugh
all the way to the bank!

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At 00:00:39,284, Character said: Join us for an inside look at
Andrew Dice Clay's luxurious life style.

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At 00:00:48,578, Character said: Hey Beavis, I g***t an idea.

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At 00:00:52,837, Character said: Yeah, me too! Let's go over to
Stewart's house and burn something!

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At 00:00:57,742, Character said: No dumbass,
let's become one of those stand

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At 00:01:00,482, Character said: up chameleons and
make a lot of money!

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At 00:01:04,348, Character said: - Yeah, money rules!
- We're there dude.

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At 00:01:24,201, Character said: We're gonna be rich.

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At 00:01:56,901, Character said: That looks like that dude from Deliverance.

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At 00:01:59,062, Character said: Yeah.

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At 00:02:00,604, Character said: Remember that part with that pig?

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At 00:02:04,508, Character said: That wasn't a pig, Beavis.
That was Ned Beatty.

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At 00:02:08,850, Character said: Oh yeah.

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At 00:02:10,715, Character said: I watched that movie seven times.

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At 00:02:14,585, Character said: - Me too. "Squeal like a pig, boy!"
- Yeah.

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At 00:02:25,563, Character said: - Spit! Cool!
- That's cool!

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At 00:02:29,448, Character said: Yeah!

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At 00:02:32,303, Character said: - Whoa! Fat people!
- Yeah, yeah.

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At 00:02:36,307, Character said: They don't have enough
fat people in videos.

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At 00:02:38,571, Character said: Yeah.

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At 00:02:40,144, Character said: And more spit in videos.

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At 00:02:43,481, Character said: - Like, people hocking loogies.
- Yeah, yeah.

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At 00:02:46,817, Character said: - More spit, and more fat people.
- Yeah.

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At 00:02:50,488, Character said: - Fat people are cool!
- Yeah.

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At 00:03:21,878, Character said: Hey, okay, I want to remind everybody
that I'm a professional,

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At 00:03:25,666, Character said: okay? So, don't try this at home.

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At 00:03:32,196, Character said: Hey, sorry folks, they told me
my time is up.

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At 00:03:35,445, Character said: Y'all have been great, man. Thanks!

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At 00:03:38,756, Character said: Okay! How about for "Wild Dog Bill", huh?

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At 00:03:44,000, Character said: Okay! Our next comedian is a young man,

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At 00:03:47,645, Character said: in fact he is really young.

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At 00:03:49,580, Character said: He calls himself "Butthole".
Let's hear it for him.

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At 00:04:02,526, Character said: What's green and red and goes
one hundred miles a hour?

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At 00:04:09,600, Character said: A frog in a blender.
Get it?

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At 00:04:12,886, Character said: Yeah.

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At 00:04:17,390, Character said: Okay.

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At 00:04:19,610, Character said: Here is one.

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At 00:04:22,546, Character said: How do you keep a moron in suspense?

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At 00:04:32,879, Character said: I don't know.

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At 00:04:34,862, Character said: Yeah.

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At 00:04:39,830, Character said: This is cool.

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At 00:04:43,534, Character said: So, this guy says to the bartender:

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At 00:04:46,770, Character said: "I bet you fifty dollars I
can pee in that glass

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At 00:04:49,135, Character said: and you'll clean it up laughing".

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At 00:04:50,648, Character said: Get off!

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At 00:04:52,543, Character said: No, wait...

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At 00:04:54,411, Character said: I mean... He says:
"I bet you can pee in this..."

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At 00:04:58,448, Character said: You s***k!

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At 00:05:00,071, Character said: - No, wait.
- Get off!

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At 00:05:01,250, Character said: He pees on the bar and pays these
people at the table to clean it up.

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At 00:05:06,890, Character said: No, wait...

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At 00:05:09,994, Character said: Are you gonna finish all
those nachos?

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At 00:05:13,130, Character said: Can I have some?

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At 00:05:14,190, Character said: - You are terrible, terrible.
- Get off!

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At 00:05:17,000, Character said: Is that what she said?

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At 00:05:18,736, Character said: How about it for "Butthole"?

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At 00:05:23,066, Character said: Hey, wait a minute folks. Don't leave yet.
We've just getting started.

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At 00:05:27,569, Character said: We've g***t a great actor up next,
his name is...

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At 00:05:31,849, Character said: Beavis!
This guy is fantastic!

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At 00:05:35,786, Character said: Let's hear it for him.

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At 00:05:44,528, Character said: You ever wonder why so much stuff s***s?

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At 00:05:51,902, Character said: Sometimes I look at one of these
little straws, and I go: "This s***s!"

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At 00:05:59,176, Character said: This is cool!

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At 00:06:07,685, Character said: One thing about, like, gym class:

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At 00:06:11,302, Character said: It s***s!

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At 00:06:14,341, Character said: - Okay, now I'm gonna, like, juggle.
- Go for it Beavis!

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At 00:06:20,364, Character said: This is gonna be cool.

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At 00:06:41,785, Character said: - This is mall music.
- Yeah.

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At 00:06:46,440, Character said: She has to play in a mall
because she s***s.

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At 00:06:49,324, Character said: Yeah.

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At 00:07:00,663, Character said: Hey Beavis,

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At 00:07:03,140, Character said: who do you think would win in a fight
between Tiffany and Debbie Gibson?

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At 00:07:09,113, Character said: Debbie Gibson would kick her butt!

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At 00:07:12,750, Character said: She'd kick her!

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At 00:07:15,085, Character said: She should join a gang
like Wilson Phillips.

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At 00:07:18,234, Character said: Yeah.

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At 00:07:19,356, Character said: Who do you think would win in a fight
between Wilson Phillips and The Bangles?

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At 00:07:28,265, Character said: - You're the expert, Beavis.
- Shut up, Butt-Head!

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At 00:07:32,770, Character said: One chick from L7 could kick
all of their asses combined.

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At 00:07:37,623, Character said: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

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At 00:07:42,750, Character said: Whoa, cool!

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At 00:07:44,756, Character said: Fire! Fire! Fire!

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At 00:07:48,752, Character said: What's wrong with you, Beavis?
This s***s!

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At 00:07:52,122, Character said: Because you have fire in your video
doesn't mean you're cool.

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At 00:07:55,182, Character said: Yeah, but, like,
the fire itself is pretty cool.

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At 00:07:57,741, Character said: - No way, Beavis! Vince Neil is a wuss!
- Oh yeah.

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At 00:08:07,038, Character said: - Mötley Crüe fired this dude.
- Yeah.

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At 00:08:10,579, Character said: They fired him.
Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!

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At 00:08:14,044, Character said: Tommy Lee should've shoved
that drumstick up his butt!

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At 00:08:17,409, Character said: Yeah, yeah.

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At 00:08:18,616, Character said: That would be cool!

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At 00:08:22,405, Character said: Whoa!

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At 00:08:25,089, Character said: That chick's g***t metal pointy things
on her b***s.

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At 00:08:30,645, Character said: - That's pretty cool!
- Yeah.

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At 00:08:42,906, Character said: "She's a knockdown,
drag it out, pick it up, do it again".

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At 00:08:47,344, Character said: What does that mean?
Who writes this crap?

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At 00:08:50,781, Character said: Yeah, yeah.
It s***s!

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At 00:09:03,460, Character said: - We are pretty funny, huh Beavis?
- Yeah.

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At 00:09:09,800, Character said: We should be on TV.

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At 00:09:13,904, Character said: How come that club owner dude
didn't like us?

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At 00:09:17,407, Character said: - Maybe he is stupid?
- Yeah.

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At 00:09:21,245, Character said: - Not everybody can be cool like us.
- Yeah.

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At 00:09:31,355, Character said: - Trees.
- Yeah.

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At 00:09:34,458, Character said: "I don't think I shall ever see
anything as stupid as a tree".

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At 00:09:46,870, Character said: Do you like her hair up or down, Beavis?

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At 00:09:51,708, Character said: I think with this particular outfit,
it looks better up.

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At 00:10:06,823, Character said: Do you think if this band
was playing in the forest,

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At 00:10:09,448, Character said: and, like, a tree fell on
'em, 'cause they s***k,

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At 00:10:13,667, Character said: do you think anybody would be there?

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At 00:10:16,733, Character said: No one would hear 'em,
because they'd be dead!

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At 00:10:21,071, Character said: Yeah, but what if,
like, the tree fell,

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At 00:10:22,996, Character said: and it only, like, hit a couple
of 'em, and then...

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At 00:10:25,242, Character said: Hey Beavis!
What are your hands doing in your pocket?

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At 00:10:29,413, Character said: I'm just looking for my lighter.

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At 00:10:32,375, Character said: Aha, you've been looking
for about fifteen minutes.

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At 00:10:35,612, Character said: Yeah.