The Real ONeals Season 2 Episode 15 The Real Mr. Nice Guy full HD on SFlix Free Subtitles

WEBVTT

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Kenny: When you're
a creative individual

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at a Catholic high school,

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most classes feel like
the final season of "Lost" --

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unsatisfying, and the cute guys
are all straight,

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which is why I'm so excited to
be taking music appreciation.

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What are you doing here?

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Enriching my mind
and my spirit,

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like that time
I read The New Yorker

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not just for the cartoons.

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What are you doing here?

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[ Laughing ] Oh, Kenny.

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Stupid, stupid Kenny.
[ School bell rings ]

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I don't get
what's so funny.

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Well, music appreciation
is a joke.

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I seriously doubt that.

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All right, kids.

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Welcome to the wonderful world
of music.

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Take out a piece of paper,
write something on it,

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and grade yourselves.

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And do not interrupt me
while I'm doing my scratch-off.

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[ Clears throat ]

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Ms. Dunn?
Kenny O'Neal here.

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I, for one, ** thirsty
for a bit of music education.

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Don't mind my brother,
Ms. Dunn.

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He's gay, so he likes
unnecessary conflict.

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Sit down, Kenny.
This isn't Bravo.

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[ Gasps ]
Oh, my God.

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I just won $1 million.

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I'm free.

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The nightmare is over!

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But you're still gonna teach,
though, yeah?

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Why start now?

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Adiós [bleep]

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All right,
help me decide, Father Phil.

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What's a better appetizer
for the bishop --

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deviled eggs
or pigs in a blanket?

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Well, invoking the devil with
the bishop is probably a no-no,

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but let me taste.

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Mmm. Okay.

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Devil be damned,
this is a yes-yes.

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Oh, thank God. I'm just
so nervous and excited.

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I cannot believe
that the church

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chose our family to host
a dinner for the bishop.

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Ever since the Stackwells'
murder-suicide,

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you are
our top divorced family.

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That is so nice to hear.

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It's a real honor.

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What's also nice
is that it gives us a chance

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to show everyone
that, you know,

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the whole dad-living-
in-the-garage situation

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not only works, but it has
the approval of the church.

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It is not a garage.

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I've told you a million times --
It's a tiny house.

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Father Phil.
Ooh! Hello, deviled eggs.

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Ahh! We have two days to get
this place ready for the bishop,

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and you still haven't fixed
the garbage disposal.

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I never g***t this kind
of 'tude from the Stackwells.

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[ Door opens, closes ]

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[ Sighs ]

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You are never gonna believe
what happened at school today.

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You actually paid attention
and learned something?

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[ Chuckles ]
Hey, that's a good one. No.

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So, uh, my teacher Ms. Dunn
won $1 million

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off a scratch-off ticket,

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and then she said some
sweet curse words and quit.

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It was -- It was awesome.

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Wait, wait.
Ms. Dunn?

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Short, big eyes, frizzy hair?
Yeah. That's her.

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You know what?
I'm feeling lucky today.

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I'm gonna have one
of those scratchers, please.

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[ Police radio chatter ]

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Ms. Dunn, right?

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Oh, is that all you have?

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I also have a cat
and a very loving niece.

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Why don't you go ahead?

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Oh, thanks.

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One scratch-off, please.

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And a packet of condoms.

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You never know.

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I let her go ahead of me.

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That was supposed to be
my ticket.

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That was supposed
to be my $1 million.

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My whole life
could have been different.

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She only has a cat
and a niece, Dad.

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So you can get in there.

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♪♪

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Thanks for coming in
on such short notice, everybody.

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As you know,
Ms. Dunn hit the jackpot

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and never has to come back
to this hell-ishly wonderful

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institution of learning.

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So just sit tight
while I consult with my team,

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and I'll be back in a jiff.

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Are these
the new teaching candidates

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for music appreciation class?

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Tired.

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Dead inside.

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Uninspired.

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[ Gasps ]
Wait a second.

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Italian loafer, no socks.

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A Patek Philippe watch.

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Gingham and plaid on purpose?

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This man is a homosexual.

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Hello.
I'm Kenny O'Neal.

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Hi.
I'm Mr. Peters.

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Hi.
[ Chuckles ]

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Um, I'm a student helper.

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I'm making photocopies
of résumés

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for Vice Principal Murray.

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May I see yours?

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20 years on Broadway?

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Gay Men's Chorus?

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Former personal assistant
to Elaine Stritch?!

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Not bad.

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Oh, my God. This guy
might be the gay role model

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I've been looking for.

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He could help me become
the best version of me,

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or rather, do, re, mi.

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Let's start
at the very beginning.

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♪ A very good place
to start ♪

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♪ When you read,
you begin with... ♪

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Men's Health magazine?

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A-B-C.

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♪ When you sing,
you begin with do, re, mi ♪

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♪ Do, re, mi ♪

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Yes!

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♪ Doe ♪

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♪ A deer, a female deer ♪

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♪ Ray ♪

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♪ A drop of golden sun ♪

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Me!

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♪ A name I call myself ♪
[ Camera shutter clicks ]

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Far.

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♪ A long, long way to run ♪

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♪ Sew,
a needle pulling thread ♪

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♪ La, a note to follow so ♪
[ Woman singing operatically ]

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♪ Tea, a drink
with jam and bread ♪

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♪ That will bring us
back to do ♪

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Ow.
No carbs.

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We bake for others.

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You have to hire
Mr. Peters.

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Oh, thank God!

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This thing keeps saying,
"Ask again. Ask again."

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I've been asking again
for 10 minutes.

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I hate this!

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I hate this!
I hate this!

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If you hate this so much,
then why are you doing it?

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Well, I would have hired
a plumber, Shannon,

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but I'm not a millionaire

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like that frizzy-hair
dream-stealer Ms. Dunn.

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You know why she's
a millionaire and you're not?

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You're too nice.

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That's very sweet of you
to say.
Stop it!

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You're constantly putting other
people's needs before your own.

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If you hadn't let
that teacher go ahead of you,

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you'd be the millionaire
right now

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rather than some guy
playing "Final Destination"

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with a garbage disposal.

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Listen, when you grow up
in a big family

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with six brothers sharing
five pairs of underwear,

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you kind of learn not to want
anything for yourself.

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Okay, well, then it's time
to unlearn that.

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You have to put yourself
first for once.

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If you had $1 million,
what would you buy?

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[ Chuckles ]

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Well, I-I have always wanted
an electric toothbrush.

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Oh, my God, Dad!
Think bigger!

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Anything in the world.
What would you want?

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I don't know.
I don't know what I want!

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Well, then figure it out.

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What do you really want?

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I really want to stop being
yelled at by a little girl.

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Well, then maybe you
should stop acting like one.

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Ohh!...