00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:56,Baba (father)

00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:00,Every year I write you a letter.

00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,Every year since
Ma put me in a car,

00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,my nose pressed
against the window,

00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,and we drove away from you.

00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,She kept saying
we’re going home.

00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:19,No.

00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:21,Really?

00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,Really.

00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,Don't.

00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:27,Alright, go.

00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:24,Let’s just get through this.

00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:32,Tea?

00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,Tea at four.

00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,I’d forgotten.

00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:40,How are you?

00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,I'm alright, Ma. I'm good.

00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,****

00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,I write you letters. All the time.

00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,In my head. On the walls.

00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,So I remember.

00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,So you don’t forget.

00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,Hi, Mrs. N.
-Miku.

00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:47,Good to see you.

00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:48,Come on, come on, come on.

00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,No, I’ll swing by later.
I just g***t in,

00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,I just wanted to know
what happened? How is she?

00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,She was making pakoda.

00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,She had the heat up, forgot,
pan full of oil. It caught fire.

00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:00,Fire brigade?

00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:04,Yeah, fire brigade, social services,
social security, local council.

00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,They've asked for
a needs assessment.

00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:07,What's that?

00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,- A test to see if
you can look after yourself?

00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,Oh, let me guess.
She just smashed it.

00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:12,Better than that.

00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,You have to agree to do it.

00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,She didn't.

00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:19,Hey, I said come.
I didn't say it would be easy.

00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:21,Well, she seems like herself.

00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:25,She is like that in front of strangers.

00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,Well I can’t keep her here,
you know.

00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,I know it's not Indian.
It's not what we’d do back home.

00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,Yeah at home, she would be
in a joint family.

00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:36,Where you pay somebody ten,
twenty thousand rupees

00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,a month to stay with her all day.

00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:41,You're thinking of care home, no?

00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:42,Yeah.

00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:43,Wait.

00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,I can't.

00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:45,Three months.

00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:47,Wait three months.

00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:47,I can't afford it.

00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:48,Please.

00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:51,Just three months.
No care home.

00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,And after that, I won't say anything.

00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,You've heard something,
haven't you?

00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,What?

00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:04,I kept the house alive.
In my memory.

00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:06,I come home from school.

00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:08,Baba (father)?

00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,Why didn't you wake me?

00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,I thought you were tired, I didn't-

00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:37,What happened to tea?

00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:38,I was waiting for you.

00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,You forgot, didn't you?

00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:43,Yes.

00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,Hi. Who are you?

00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:46,Why don't you turn that off?

00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:50,It happens every time I cook.
Then just switches off by itself.

00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:56,You went and met Laxmi
as soon as you came back home.

00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:58,We need to talk.

00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:06,Later.
We talk after dinner.

00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:08,I have notes.

00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,Why do you have
so many highlighters?

00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:20,I stole them.

00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:22,You stole them?

00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,Yeah. BBC orders too many.

00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,May I?
-Yeah.

00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:32,What's that?

00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,It's a dictaphone.

00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,Yes, I know it's a dictaphone,
but what do you use it for?

00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,I use it for my music.

00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:44,I thought you weren’t supposed to,
traditionally.

00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,Not everything we learned
was correct, you know.

00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,Besides, I like to take notes.

00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:54,Today, Anamika is coming.
Tomorrow, we practice Bhimpalasi.

00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:55,Day after, Anamika is going.

00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:58,Who's we?

00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:02,Where do you get the tapes?

00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:04,It's a digital.

00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:07,How's Laxmi?

00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,Laxmi...

00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,Itching?

00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,.. is herself, fine.

00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:12,She's a liar and a thief.

00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:16,I'm sure she's doing side-
business in drugs.

00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:18,Wish I'd known.

00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:20,She'll tell you.

00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,Don't worry.
She’ll tell you herself.

00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,Okay, what are we going to do?

00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,We are going to do nothing.

00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:30,There was a fire.

00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:32,Yes.

00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:32,On saturday.

00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:33,There was a fire.

00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,And who do you think called
the fire brigade?

00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,that she didn't tell you, no?
-No.

00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:39,I did.

00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:40,I called them.

00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,Look.

00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:45,I know I'm not well,
I have dementia,

00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,but I also know that
I ** well enough.

00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:51,I ** not that ill.

00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:52,Well enough for what?

00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,To stay here. To look after myself.

00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:02,Here...

00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:07,I'm going to need a carer soon,
you'll have to sign for that.

00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,And then?

00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:14,Then you can take my ashes to Haridwar
or just courier them.

00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,In the end, that's all you'll have to do.

00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,So now?

00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,Now, nothing.
You go.

00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,Nothing here, nothing to see.

00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:28,Can I see the bank statements?

00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:30,Sure.

00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,When are you leaving?

00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:41,Ma?

00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,Are you going to the loo?

00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:51,************!

00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:03,Ma, what are you doing?

00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:07,Miku, look- I can't find a taxi.
Phone for one.

00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,My phone’s in the house.

00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,Get it, it's getting late.
Hurry up.

00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,Where are you going, Ma?

00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,BBC 4 recording.
Have you forgotten?

00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,It's cold out, isn't it?

00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:21,We are performers, Miku.

00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:23,Monkeys on a string.

00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,Sahebs point a stick... Ay, dance!

00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:27,And we dance.

00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:30,One sec, is this the
Aaj ka Sangeet recording?

00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:32,Yes.
-Ma that's not today. It's tomorrow.

00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:34,You're lying.

00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:37,How would I know the name of the show?
I haven't lived here in years.

00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,Are you sure, Miku?
-Yes!

00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,Because BBC, you know,
it's a forty pound payment.

00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,I know,
-Forty pounds, Miku. Forty-

00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:50,Tomorrow. It's tomorrow.
The recording is tomorrow.

00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,I swear.

00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,Swear?

00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:55,I swear.

00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,I don’t suppose you have the keys?

154...