The Drew Carey Show s07e21 Never Been To Spain Subtitles

00:00:05,279 --> 00:00:06,Hey.

00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:09,Well, that's the last mousetrap. Yeah.

00:00:09,740 --> 00:00:11,This doesn't get the little b***d I
gotta admit.

00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:13,He's smarter than we are. Yeah.

00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:17,All right, you wanna get out of here?
Sure.

00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:24,After you.

00:00:52,430 --> 00:00:53,That was close.

00:00:55,550 --> 00:00:59,Hey, I think we should put a warning
note on the door.

00:00:59,850 --> 00:01:01,No, the less the mice know, the better.

00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:04,No, for Drew.

00:01:04,390 --> 00:01:07,Oh, don't worry about that. I'll come
back early tomorrow morning and get rid

00:01:07,330 --> 00:01:09,the body and all the trash before Drew
comes home from vacation. Good.

00:01:10,590 --> 00:01:11,You know, I feel bad.

00:01:12,150 --> 00:01:13,Poor little guy never stood a chance.
No.

00:01:28,650 --> 00:01:31,I just g***t a message from Drew. He
didn't go to Florida. He's home sick.

00:01:31,610 --> 00:01:32,Oh, my God.

00:01:38,430 --> 00:01:39,Oh,

00:01:45,930 --> 00:01:51,screw that.

00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,Hey, it's Drew. Please leave a very
short message at the tone.

00:01:59,430 --> 00:02:01,drew you there pick up the phone it's an
emergency

00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,Let's see what you've studied at the
same rec center.

00:04:17,519 --> 00:04:22,I want you to die, but I want you to die
with honor.

00:04:46,350 --> 00:04:49,think it was too hideous to be human. I
was probably a beast from the hills.

00:04:56,670 --> 00:05:03,Sir, I see in People magazine here that
you're celebrating your 90th birthday by

00:05:03,410 --> 00:05:05,having a three -day party on the coast
of Spain.

00:05:06,250 --> 00:05:08,Yeah, it's g***t to be better than last
year.

00:05:08,970 --> 00:05:12,Daddy rented out this island and there
was this typhoon and all these little

00:05:12,170 --> 00:05:14,native people washed up on the beach.

00:05:18,370 --> 00:05:21,wouldn't have come and eaten them, I
don't know what we would have done.

00:05:24,530 --> 00:05:29,Yes, yes, well, I understand there'll be
lots of famous supermodels and

00:05:29,050 --> 00:05:30,celebrities at this party.

00:05:30,970 --> 00:05:31,That's right.

00:05:32,350 --> 00:05:36,Well, would you like me to be there so I
can wrap you in a big towel when you

00:05:36,110 --> 00:05:39,walk out of the sea glittering like a
little s***y fish?

00:05:42,670 --> 00:05:47,Mr. Wick, I'm your boss and I don't
appreciate you talking to me like that.

00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,Plus, You're like twice my age.

00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,Well, perhaps, but you're not too old
for me to take you over my knee.

00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,Or vice versa.

00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:04,Hey,

00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,Drew. Hey. How was your vacation?

00:06:08,260 --> 00:06:11,Sucked. I g***t the flu and I couldn't go
anywhere. Then I stepped on a bunch of

00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:15,mouth traps and I g***t mistaken for a
lesbian in the grocery store.

00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:18,It isn't fair.

00:06:19,220 --> 00:06:23,I hardly ever come to work and all these
great things just fall into my lap. And

00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:27,you are like such a good, hard -working
person and all these horrible things

00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:28,happen to you.

00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:30,What's up with that?

00:06:32,020 --> 00:06:33,Hey, Drew.

00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,Still mad about the mousetraps?

00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:39,No. No, as a matter of fact, I g***t you
some candy.

00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:43,I don't think so.

00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,Whoa. More for me.

00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:56,It came for job recommendations.

00:06:57,860 --> 00:07:01,Yeah, we saw an ad for airport security
guards to work the night shift. Yeah,

00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:03,and we need more money now that I'm a
full -time student. We figured, why not

00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,us? Why not you? Here, have some candy.

00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:07,That's why not me.

00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:15,Oh, come on, Drew. We really need the
money. Plus, we'll get half off all our

00:07:15,540 --> 00:07:19,air travel. Yeah, I want to see the
people of the world and all their

00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:20,diversity.

00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,I don't care how weird they look. I want
to laugh at their foolish customs,

00:07:23,460 --> 00:07:26,their disgusting food, and their monkey
chatter languages.

00:07:27,220 --> 00:07:28,All right.

00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:30,I envy you guys getting to travel the
world.

00:07:31,340 --> 00:07:33,I hope I can do something like that
while I'm still young enough to get

00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,Hey, Drew.

00:07:37,020 --> 00:07:40,Yeah. How would you like to come to my
birthday party in Europe?

00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,Are you serious? The one with all the
supermodels and stuff? Yeah.

00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:45,You deserve it.

00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:49,You're the only one who gave a d***n
about me when I was trying to learn how

00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:50,run a store.

00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,It's my way of saying thanks.

00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,Wow. A supermodel party in Europe.

00:07:56,660 --> 00:07:58,Maybe my looking like a lesbian is
finally going to pay off.

00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:14,All the metal items out of your pockets?

00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:18,Yes, but I... a metal plate in my head
take it out put it in the basket

00:08:18,490 --> 00:08:25,you don't understand it's it's in my
head oh so

00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:29,it's imaginary it's screwed into his
skull

00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:12,person through with anything at all, and
I mean anything suspicious about him,

00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:13,the both of you are fired.

00:09:14,460 --> 00:09:15,G***t it?

00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:16,Yes, ma '**.

00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:20,Okay, step through, please.

00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:22,Oh, you want to step over here, son?

00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,A little look at your backpack, shall
we?

00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:29,Baseball mitts.

00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:31,Boy Scout handbook.

00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:34,Bible.

00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,too hard there, aren't you, Junior?

00:09:44,340 --> 00:09:47,Let's see how much you love America
after what they do to you downstairs.

00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:48,Take him away!

00:09:52,820 --> 00:09:53,Hey, Drew.

00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:56,Hey. Getting packed for your big trip
with the supermodels?

00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:57,Yep.

00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:01,Great, that's great. I put together a
little care package for you, you know,

00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:05,your trip. You know, something a guy
like you might use for a wild weekend.

00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,Viagra and a s***y grandpa T -shirt.

00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:16,That's great. I'll send you a picture of
me on the beach wearing the T -shirt

00:10:16,980 --> 00:10:18,while I'm digging for clams with my
erection.

00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:22,Hey, Drew.

00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,Look, I just g***t the new swimsuit issue.

00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:29,And three of the women in here are going
to be at this party of yours.

00:10:29,820 --> 00:10:32,Wow. Man, they are so amazing.

00:10:32,820 --> 00:10:35,Man, what are you going to say to them
when you meet them? I don't know. I

00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:39,really thought about talking to them.
And my dreams are just kind of bouncing

00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:40,and down on a trampoline.

00:10:41,870 --> 00:10:44,For my 16th birthday, you g***t me a
trampoline.

00:10:46,150 --> 00:10:47,Something related.

00:10:49,610 --> 00:10:52,Drew, these are some of the top models
in the world.

00:10:52,710 --> 00:10:54,You can't just show up at the party and
stare at them.

00:10:56,850 --> 00:10:58,I know. What was I thinking?

00:10:58,870 --> 00:11:02,Maybe I shouldn't even go. I shouldn't
have dreams about supermodels. I should

00:11:02,490 --> 00:11:03,have regular dreams like...

00:11:04,460 --> 00:11:09,Getting a smile from a bank teller or
finding a restaurant that silters

00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:11,milkshakes and those metal things where
you get some extra milkshake.

00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:14,Wait a minute.

00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:16,You're a nobody.

00:11:16,180 --> 00:11:17,That could be a good thing.

00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:18,Hey, me.

00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:20,Nobody knows who you are.

00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:23,No one has to know you're a 40 -year
-old middle manager.

00:11:24,220 --> 00:11:27,Right. For one week, you can be anyone
you want.

00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:32,You could even make up an exotic name
like Slade Sandstone. Yes.

00:11:35,180 --> 00:11:37,Yeah, maybe I could tell everybody I own
a foot -powered car dealership in

00:11:37,980 --> 00:11:38,Bedrock.

00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:44,Okay, well, how about Antoine Silver?

00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:45,Nice.

00:11:46,260 --> 00:11:47,Antoine Silver.

00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,Yeah, I like that.

00:11:49,180 --> 00:11:50,Let me try it out.

00:11:50,580...