Mars Attack Subtitles

At 00:00:29,279, Character said: MAN:
Hey, howdy there, Mr. Lee.

2
At 00:00:31,740, Character said: What is this? Filipino New Year's?

3
At 00:00:34,576, Character said: No. Why you say that?

4
At 00:00:36,202, Character said: Because you're cooking up a feast.

5
At 00:00:38,288, Character said: I can smell it all the way
from the interstate.

6
At 00:00:40,832, Character said: What is that? Barbecue?

7
At 00:00:43,460, Character said: Oh, yeah. But it not coming from here.

8
At 00:00:46,796, Character said: What is that noise?

9
At 00:00:50,341, Character said: [RUMBLING]

10
At 00:00:54,179, Character said: CHILD 1:
Daddy!

11
At 00:01:00,977, Character said: -Daddy!
CHILD 2: Daddy!

12
At 00:01:03,354, Character said: [MOOING]

13
At 00:01:18,453, Character said: [FLYING SAUCER WHIRRING]

14
At 00:04:19,926, Character said: What is your take on this, Jerry?

15
At 00:04:22,971, Character said: The people are gonna love it,
Mr. President.

16
At 00:04:25,848, Character said: Our only conflict is whether we ambush
the 6:00 news or hold out for prime time.

17
At 00:04:30,561, Character said: Screw the press.
This is a need-to-know situation.

18
At 00:04:33,106, Character said: We should make it top secret...

19
At 00:04:34,816, Character said: ...and move in right away
with DEFCON 4.

20
At 00:04:37,151, Character said: Mr. President, we cannot sit on this.

21
At 00:04:40,989, Character said: General Casey, do you have an opinion?

22
At 00:04:44,534, Character said: Well, sir, do we know they're hostile?

23
At 00:04:47,453, Character said: What do you mean,
"do we know they're hostile?"

24
At 00:04:50,039, Character said: They have our planet surrounded
with thousands of warships.

25
At 00:04:52,917, Character said: Do we know they're warships?

26
At 00:04:57,171, Character said: [SIGHS]

27
At 00:04:58,381, Character said: Professor, what do we know about them?

28
At 00:05:02,677, Character said: We know they're extremely advanced
technologically...

29
At 00:05:05,263, Character said: ...which suggests, very rightfully so,
that they're peaceful.

30
At 00:05:09,183, Character said: An advanced civilization is,
by definition, not barbaric.

31
At 00:05:13,396, Character said: Mr. President, this is a great day.

32
At 00:05:17,066, Character said: I and all my colleagues
are extremely excited.

33
At 00:05:21,404, Character said: Good.

34
At 00:05:23,573, Character said: Extraterrestrial life.

35
At 00:05:27,076, Character said: You're right, Jerry.

36
At 00:05:28,745, Character said: The people are gonna love it.

37
At 00:05:31,247, Character said: This is a momentous occasion.

38
At 00:05:34,500, Character said: -Mr. President, we have to act--
PRESIDENT: We'll go all media on this.

39
At 00:05:37,879, Character said: I'll wear my blue Cerruti suit.
And, Jerry, I'll need a good speech.

40
At 00:05:42,383, Character said: Statesman-like...

41
At 00:05:44,052, Character said: ...historical and yet warm and neighborly.

42
At 00:05:48,097, Character said: Abraham Lincoln meets Leave It to Beaver.
You know the sort of thing. Heh.

43
At 00:05:52,060, Character said: Yes, sir.

44
At 00:05:53,353, Character said: WOMAN: Are they too old-fashioned?
MAN: Yes.

45
At 00:05:55,271, Character said: WOMAN:
No, I don't think so.

46
At 00:05:56,898, Character said: This has g***t the colors, but no.
I don't think so.

47
At 00:06:00,526, Character said: -Not vivid enough.
MAN: Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

48
At 00:06:02,236, Character said: -Nancy had this in the library, didn't she?
-Yes, indeed.

49
At 00:06:05,031, Character said: I don't think so.

50
At 00:06:06,324, Character said: I thought perhaps the watered silk.
And this week it's on sale.

51
At 00:06:10,119, Character said: I hardly think I need worry about that.

52
At 00:06:12,914, Character said: My husband is the leader
of the free world.

53
At 00:06:16,793, Character said: What do you think, Taffy?

54
At 00:06:19,045, Character said: Why don't you leave the Roosevelt Room
the way the Roosevelts wanted it?

55
At 00:06:22,799, Character said: [LAUGHS]

56
At 00:06:23,966, Character said: Because Eleanor Roosevelt
was too fond of chintz. That's why.

57
At 00:06:28,304, Character said: Mother, this isn't your house.

58
At 00:06:30,598, Character said: Taffy, if you're going to be a pest,
I'm going to ignore you.

59
At 00:06:34,227, Character said: -Mrs. Dale?
-Yes?

60
At 00:06:42,485, Character said: [HORNS HONK]

61
At 00:06:55,706, Character said: [LAUGHING]

62
At 00:06:57,500, Character said: -I saw you fight Sonny Liston in '69.
-Really?

63
At 00:07:01,587, Character said: -You mean, you were a nun back then?
-Oh, yes.

64
At 00:07:04,006, Character said: We've always been fight fans,
haven't we, sisters?

65
At 00:07:07,218, Character said: WOMAN [OVER PA]:
Byron Williams, telephone.

66
At 00:07:09,262, Character said: -Byron Williams....
-That's me. I gotta go.

67
At 00:07:11,389, Character said: You ladies have a nice time, all right?
Thank you.

68
At 00:07:14,100, Character said: [LAUGHING]

69
At 00:07:18,062, Character said: -Yeah?
WOMAN [OVER PHONE]: Byron?

70
At 00:07:19,564, Character said: Oh, Louise.

71
At 00:07:21,065, Character said: LOUISE:
I'm sorry I have to call you at work.

72
At 00:07:23,901, Character said: The boys haven't been home in two nights
and I don't know what to do.

73
At 00:07:28,406, Character said: Listen, you're doing the best you can.

74
At 00:07:30,408, Character said: They're just at that age.

75
At 00:07:34,203, Character said: Louise, the casino manager's
giving me the evil eye. I've gotta go.

76
At 00:07:37,957, Character said: I'll call you later, okay?

77
At 00:07:40,626, Character said: Hey, are you still cool on me
coming to Washington?

78
At 00:07:43,796, Character said: Sure. Of course I **.

79
At 00:07:46,174, Character said: You take care, okay? Bye.

80
At 00:08:02,815, Character said: Ahh....

81
At 00:08:04,442, Character said: Do you have to drink in front of me?

82
At 00:08:06,402, Character said: You're an adult. Just cope.

83
At 00:08:08,696, Character said: It doesn't help me
that all we ever do is sit around in bars.

84
At 00:08:11,991, Character said: Hey. This is work, baby, okay?

85
At 00:08:14,285, Character said: I'm checking the decor,
the lighting, the traffic flow.

86
At 00:08:17,872, Character said: If I'd known you'd turn into a crook,
I never would have married you.

87
At 00:08:21,250, Character said: I'm not a crook.

88
At 00:08:22,960, Character said: I'm ambitious. There's a difference.

89
At 00:08:25,505, Character said: And if you think you can make
a nickel in this town...

90
At 00:08:28,257, Character said: ...without knowing how to dally
around a few curves, well...

91
At 00:08:32,303, Character said: ...you don't know doodlysquat
about the gaming industry.

92
At 00:08:35,097, Character said: Oh, Art.

93
At 00:08:36,474, Character said: Galaxy's gonna be
the best hotel in Vegas.

94
At 00:08:40,603, Character said: The best. I promise.

95
At 00:08:43,189, Character said: Don't you realize what you're doing?
Destroying the Earth.

96
At 00:08:46,150, Character said: All this greed. This money system.

97
At 00:08:49,195, Character said: You're destroying everything.

98
At 00:08:51,072, Character said: Okay, okay, Barbara. Okay.

99
At 00:08:54,367, Character said: Keep your voice down.

100
At 00:08:57,370, Character said: I g***t friends here.

101
At 00:09:00,790, Character said: Sugar. Hit me one more time.

102
At 00:09:03,417, Character said: -Stop flirting with the waitress.
-Oh, God. Here.

103
At 00:09:07,964, Character said: Go on over to the roulette...

104
At 00:09:11,259, Character said: ...play our anniversary...

105
At 00:09:12,969, Character said: ...and stay off of black.

106
At 00:09:18,307, Character said: Thanks, honey.

107
At 00:09:20,935, Character said: [HORN BLOWING]

108
At 00:09:24,564, Character said: [CELL PHONE RINGS]

109
At 00:09:26,232, Character said: Yeah?

110
At 00:09:27,650, Character said: Make it quick.
We go out live in 10 minutes.

111
At 00:09:31,279, Character said: What? The actual president?
What do you mean, "cutting in"?

112
At 00:09:35,908, Character said: [KEYPAD BEEPING]

113
At 00:09:39,120, Character said: Budget negotiations may be dead
in the water after this week.

114
At 00:09:42,748, Character said: Hair looks good.

115
At 00:09:45,334, Character said: I like the hair.

116
At 00:09:46,544, Character said: --quote, "factually challenged."
Griffin says....

117
At 00:09:48,462, Character said: [PHONE RINGS]

118
At 00:09:49,672, Character said: Yeah, Stone. Speak.

119
At 00:09:51,507, Character said: Jason, hi, it's me.

120
At 00:09:54,260, Character said: You wearing a bra?

121
At 00:09:56,095, Character said: Listen, this is big. President Dale
is cutting into my show today.

122
At 00:10:01,350, Character said: That's absurd. Why would he stoop
to being on Today in Fashion?

123
At 00:10:04,520, Character said: He's interrupting everybody.

124
At 00:10:06,022, Character said: I don't know, it's some sort of
emergency announcement or something.

125
At 00:10:09,567, Character said: This doesn't make sense.
He should be talking to us.

126
At 00:10:12,153, Character said: [SCOFFS]

127
At 00:10:13,529, Character said: White House is coming out live.

128
At 00:10:16,449, Character said: Good evening, my fellow Americans.

129
At 00:10:19,785, Character said: I apologize for interrupting
your regular programs...

130
At 00:10:23,205, Character said: ...but I have a very important
announcement to make.

131
At 00:10:27,043, Character said: Many important things have happened
to me in my life:

132
At 00:10:30,671, Character said: My graduation from Princeton...

133...