This country DE Subtitles

At 00:00:15,360, Character said: Over there, we saw Laurence
Llewelyn-Bowen once,

2
At 00:00:18,680, Character said: and once in the shop,

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At 00:00:20,280, Character said: and once up Burleigh Hill, riding
his bike, didn't we?

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At 00:00:22,760, Character said: And in the Co-op. Yeah.

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At 00:00:24,200, Character said: Because I was walking in the Co-op
and he was coming out and I said,

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At 00:00:27,800, Character said: "After you," and he said, "No,
after you."

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At 00:00:30,360, Character said: He's so humble.

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At 00:00:31,480, Character said: So humble, and I asked him, I said
to him,

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At 00:00:33,840, Character said: "When do we get to see you back on
our screens,

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At 00:00:35,680, Character said: "because it's a crying shame I don't
get to see you as often?"

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At 00:00:39,840, Character said: And he just shrugged.

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At 00:00:40,960, Character said: He just shrugged like that.

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At 00:00:44,480, Character said: Such a shame.

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At 00:00:47,920, Character said: So, this is my cousin, Kurtan.

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At 00:00:49,920, Character said: But not only is he my cousin,

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At 00:00:51,320, Character said: he's my best mate as well, because
he's the only person I can share a

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At 00:00:54,640, Character said: box of Celebrations with.

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At 00:00:56,720, Character said: Tell them why.

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At 00:00:58,040, Character said: Because I love the Bounties, but I
won't touch anything else.

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At 00:01:01,280, Character said: She cannot stand Bounties but she'll
eat the rest of them.

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At 00:01:04,960, Character said: So, nothing goes to waste.

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At 00:01:06,120, Character said: So he'll literally just come round
my house, won't you? Yeah.

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At 00:01:08,520, Character said: And just hoover up all the Bounties.

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At 00:01:09,960, Character said: That's what I do, yeah.

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At 00:01:12,440, Character said: I like the underdog.

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At 00:01:15,360, Character said: The thing is, I don't even like
Bounties that much,

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At 00:01:17,360, Character said: I just feel sorry for them because
they're always left.

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At 00:01:19,760, Character said: Yeah.

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At 00:01:21,800, Character said: Well, I've known Kerry and Kurtan,
on and off, for 12 years now.

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At 00:01:29,680, Character said: I think they're great kids, really.

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At 00:01:32,440, Character said: Give it!

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At 00:01:34,400, Character said: Don't be a f***g d***k.

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At 00:01:36,040, Character said: I do think they sometimes resort to

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At 00:01:38,880, Character said: a lot of effing and jeffing and

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At 00:01:41,880, Character said: that's something we've been working
on, actively, a lot,

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At 00:01:44,520, Character said: especially over the last couple of
years and I feel like

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At 00:01:47,760, Character said: they've made great strides forward.

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At 00:01:50,760, Character said: Last week,

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At 00:01:51,880, Character said: I don't think they used the
F word once.

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At 00:01:55,360, Character said: We had the C word a couple of times
but, I mean,

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At 00:01:58,200, Character said: that really is an improvement on
what had gone before.

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At 00:02:03,680, Character said: Scarecrow Festival is the most
important day of the year.

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At 00:02:06,880, Character said: That's the beautiful thing about
living in the village.

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At 00:02:09,120, Character said: Everyone comes together on days like
Scarecrow Festival and just forgets

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At 00:02:12,480, Character said: their utter hatred of each other.

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At 00:02:16,720, Character said: Everyone in the village makes their
own scarecrow and they put them out

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At 00:02:19,640, Character said: anywhere around the village.

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At 00:02:20,840, Character said: Yeah, and basically, there's an
independent adjudicator goes round

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At 00:02:24,080, Character said: and he judges them.
No, does not. Yeah, he does.

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At 00:02:26,320, Character said: It's a public voting system now,
cos they changed the rules.

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At 00:02:28,680, Character said: No, it's not. Yes, they did.
They didn't.

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At 00:02:30,880, Character said: If you read the Gazette last
week, you would know.

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At 00:02:32,840, Character said: I spoke to the vicar myself as well.

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At 00:02:34,360, Character said: Oh, I don't care, I find it sad.

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At 00:02:38,080, Character said: Oh, having a picture of your
winning scarecrow on the front of

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At 00:02:40,800, Character said: the Gazette is sad, is it?

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At 00:02:45,040, Character said: Didn't think so.

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At 00:02:47,240, Character said: So anyway, it's a public voting
system and you get

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At 00:02:50,080, Character said: designated pitches.

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At 00:02:51,760, Character said: So, my pitch is on the village green
this year, which is one of the best

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At 00:02:54,600, Character said: pitches and then you have little
forms, so you go around and then

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At 00:02:59,840, Character said: you can tick which one, which is
your favourite and then you put it

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At 00:03:02,960, Character said: in the box at the end of the day and
the winner gets a

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At 00:03:05,600, Character said: hot-air balloon ride for two.

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At 00:03:07,280, Character said: And I ain't taking you on it.

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At 00:03:08,840, Character said: I don't want to go on it, anyway.

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At 00:03:10,520, Character said: I'm taking my nan.

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At 00:03:25,560, Character said: He'll tell you that the Scarecrow
Festival is all fun and games,

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At 00:03:28,080, Character said: but it ain't for me.

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At 00:03:29,800, Character said: For me, the Scarecrow Festival is
just asking for trouble,

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At 00:03:32,400, Character said: cos everyone who's anyone's going
to be there and there are people

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At 00:03:35,200, Character said: from my past that would love to see
me slain.

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At 00:03:37,560, Character said: I've g***t enemies everywhere.

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At 00:03:39,280, Character said: I've g***t enemies in South Cerney,
I've g***t enemies in North Cerney,

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At 00:03:42,120, Character said: I've g***t enemies in Cerney Wick.

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At 00:03:43,960, Character said: I've g***t enemies in
Bourton-on-the-Water.

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At 00:03:46,160, Character said: There's a tea rooms there and under
the counter

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At 00:03:48,480, Character said: they've g***t a panic button

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At 00:03:49,840, Character said: and if I take one step inside, they
can press that.

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At 00:03:52,320, Character said: The police will be there in three
minutes.

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At 00:03:54,280, Character said: Isn't that right?

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At 00:03:57,880, Character said: If I'm walking through the village,

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At 00:03:59,960, Character said: people in cars actually slam their
foot down on the accelerator,

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At 00:04:03,760, Character said: because they want to get through the
village as fast as they can

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At 00:04:06,680, Character said: without getting into a confrontation
with me.

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At 00:04:09,880, Character said: Because if they stop off at
traffic lights,

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At 00:04:12,120, Character said: I'll just knock on their window and
I go, "What you looking at, mate?"

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At 00:04:17,680, Character said: What?

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At 00:04:19,360, Character said: What?

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At 00:04:23,640, Character said: What? Why?

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At 00:04:27,520, Character said: For what?

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At 00:04:33,240, Character said: I don't go to school any more.

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At 00:04:35,800, Character said: Where the hell is he getting these
vouchers from?

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At 00:04:37,760, Character said: Cos they discontinued them, like,
ten years ago.

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At 00:04:43,920, Character said: How is that my fault?

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At 00:04:45,160, Character said: I don't understand.

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At 00:04:46,240, Character said: I cannot win.

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At 00:04:48,040, Character said: This is just ridiculous.

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At 00:04:50,360, Character said: I don't live here, this is Kerry's
house.

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At 00:04:52,280, Character said: I live with my nan, just round
there.

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At 00:04:54,840, Character said: Oh, s***t, it's Slugs, look.

102
At 00:04:56,480, Character said: Oh, you're joking.

103
At 00:04:58,040, Character said: Oh, he WhatsApped me the other day

104
At 00:04:59,560, Character said: asking us to go laser quest with
him and I...

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At 00:05:01,400, Character said: What did you say? Well, I clicked on
it by accident, didn't I?

106
At 00:05:04,000, Character said: So he knows I've seen it.

107
At 00:05:06,200, Character said: Oh, sake!

108
At 00:05:07,240, Character said: The thing is, he'll just trap you
for ages, he'll never leave.

109
At 00:05:10,520, Character said: I should feel sorry for him because
he's g***t terminal cancer,

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At 00:05:12,920, Character said: but he's so utterly annoying.

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At 00:05:14,760, Character said: It's like, if you want to have a
bucket list, that's fine,

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At 00:05:17,000, Character said: but don't just drag us into it.
Do you know what I mean?

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At 00:05:20,920, Character said: It's all right, he's going the other
way. He's going the other way.

114
At 00:05:23,520, Character said: Thank Christ for that.

115
At 00:05:25,480, Character said: So, it's about 15 quid a head.

116
At 00:05:27,200, Character said: That includes two sessions of laser
quest and a minibus there and back,

117
At 00:05:33,720, Character said: but I ** going to need the deposit
now.

118
At 00:05:36,200, Character said: Oh, I just...

119
At 00:05:39,040, Character said: Hello?

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At 00:05:40,920, Character said: Oh, your mum's shouting.

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At 00:05:42,240, Character said: Just coming now.

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At 00:05:43,480, Character said: Yeah. But have a really...I hope
you enjoy yourself. Cheers, mate.

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At 00:05:46,600, Character said: Cheers though, mate. Thanks for
thinking of us.

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At 00:05:48,720, Character said: Yeah. See you later.

125
At 00:05:58,560, Character said: So, today's the day of the Scarecrow
Festival and I've g***t a bad feeling.

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At 00:06:01,920, Character said: Mark my words, something bad is
going to...