Christmas CrueltyHellige Jul Subtitles

At 00:00:53,762, Character said: Okay, let's get started.

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At 00:01:01,979, Character said: No! No!... No!!!

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At 00:01:52,279, Character said: Your mother is delish.

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At 00:03:34,756, Character said: Might as well do the smallest one first.

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At 00:04:07,873, Character said: CHRISTMAS CRUELTY!

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At 00:04:36,568, Character said: Can I take your picture? So I may
show Santa what I want for Christmas.

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At 00:04:41,656, Character said: I think you should put something else on your list.

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At 00:04:45,702, Character said: - Perhaps something a bit more realistic.
- It's not exactly unrealistic!

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At 00:04:51,750, Character said: So if a big fat man comes through your bedroom window,

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At 00:04:56,379, Character said: and puts you in a bag, don't be alarmed.

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At 00:05:02,302, Character said: It's just Santa picking up my present.

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At 00:06:15,834, Character said: You're so incredibly sweet!

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At 00:06:17,836, Character said: I get cavities just from looking at you.

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At 00:06:21,339, Character said: Nobody wants a toothache.

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At 00:06:25,343, Character said: So I suggest you go look at something else.

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At 00:06:28,680, Character said: No need to play hard to get.

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At 00:06:32,559, Character said: I know you want me.

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At 00:06:35,395, Character said: Why don't you come home with me?
And I'll s***k on your ears.

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At 00:06:40,859, Character said: Hey! Get the f***k out of here.
And go find something else to s***k on.

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At 00:06:45,530, Character said: Stay out of this, Magne!
This is between me and...

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At 00:06:51,786, Character said: Miss Lovely. F***k off!

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At 00:06:54,539, Character said: She's obviously not interested.
Stop pestering her.

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At 00:06:59,961, Character said: And if I don't?

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At 00:08:17,789, Character said: Here's to chimpanzees and girls in white cotton panties.

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At 00:08:31,302, Character said: Christmas workshop...

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At 00:08:35,473, Character said: really s***s.

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At 00:08:38,309, Character said: I'm serious!

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At 00:08:40,603, Character said: Your head must be completely messed up,

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At 00:08:44,607, Character said: since you can enjoy this s***t.
It's not f***g normal!

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At 00:08:49,863, Character said: - Per-Ingvar is enjoying it too.
- You can't use him as an example of what's normal.

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At 00:08:55,535, Character said: - He's brain-damaged.
- No, he's not.

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At 00:08:59,164, Character said: Yes.

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At 00:09:01,499, Character said: Tell Eline how it happened.

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At 00:09:04,502, Character said: - It indicates you weren't that bright to begin with either.
- I g***t my head crunched in a car door.

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At 00:09:10,800, Character said: You make it sound like
you picked a fight with Vinnie Jones!

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At 00:09:15,013, Character said: Tell her how you g***t
your stupid head caught in the car door.

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At 00:09:18,558, Character said: I had a handicap car with an electric door. I had pushed
the button to close it, then I dropped something.

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At 00:09:22,854, Character said: And as I bent down to pick it up,
and the door came and squeezed my head.

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At 00:09:28,610, Character said: - That door was this slow.
- Yeah, it was really slow.

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At 00:09:31,946, Character said: And noisy as hell.
How could you not see it coming?

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At 00:09:37,786, Character said: - Were you all right?
- I g***t a swelling in my brain.

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At 00:09:41,039, Character said: What did the doctor tell you to do? Take it easy for
a couple of weeks, and stay away from TV screens.

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At 00:09:46,669, Character said: - And what did you do?
- I went home and continued working.

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At 00:09:50,632, Character said: - On a computer.
- Yes.

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At 00:09:53,551, Character said: And after you turned off your computer at night?

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At 00:09:57,055, Character said: - I watched a movie.
- One movie?

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At 00:09:59,599, Character said: - Maybe two or three.
- Or four or five.

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At 00:10:03,144, Character said: Sometimes.

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At 00:10:05,396, Character said: So you sat there, in front of one
screen or another, the entire time.

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At 00:10:13,613, Character said: From you woke up until you fell asleep.
Contrary to your doctor's orders.

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At 00:10:19,244, Character said: - Doctors say the weirdest things.
- But in this case he was right.

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At 00:10:23,581, Character said: - Yes, I suppose.
- Now you're not only a cripple, you're a retard too.

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At 00:10:30,588, Character said: So I can understand why Per-Ingvar likes this.

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At 00:10:34,801, Character said: He's a retarded, fat, small Asbjørn Brekke on wheels.

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At 00:10:40,890, Character said: You, on the other hand, seem quite intelligent.

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At 00:10:44,602, Character said: I can't fathom why you take joy in this f***g s***t!

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At 00:10:49,691, Character said: Each to his own.
I guess tomorrow is more your style.

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At 00:10:54,612, Character said: - What's tomorrow?
- Krampus day.

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At 00:10:57,907, Character said: - What the f***k is that?
- A day in honour of Krampus.

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At 00:11:01,411, Character said: A creature travelling with Santa
Claus who dealt with the naughty kids.

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At 00:11:06,541, Character said: December 5th is Krampus day.

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At 00:11:08,918, Character said: People wear scary masks and try
to scare the living s***t out of others.

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At 00:11:13,673, Character said: We've g***t to do that!

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At 00:11:16,593, Character said: Stop with this f***g nonsense.
Lets make Krampus masks instead!

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At 00:11:22,098, Character said: All right.

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At 00:11:25,768, Character said: Die, you f***g hedgehog gnome!

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At 00:11:31,399, Character said: - Do you know what you're doing?
- Take it easy. They do this in kindergarten.

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At 00:11:35,737, Character said: You should make the masks really scary.

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At 00:11:38,698, Character said: Krampus was an ugly b***d with horns and sharp teeth.

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At 00:11:45,663, Character said: Whom the German word "Krampen"
which means "claw". And he had...

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At 00:11:51,002, Character said: Magne, you seem to be getting hard.
Are you ready for it to come off?

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At 00:11:54,422, Character said: - Mphmff.
- I know what you are saying.

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At 00:12:03,181, Character said: - Strange how hard it was to get this off.
- Did you use enough Vaseline?

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At 00:12:07,060, Character said: Oh no.

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At 00:12:09,854, Character said: F***g dirty Laplander!

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At 00:12:13,858, Character said: We just have to tear it off. Ready?

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At 00:12:17,862, Character said: One, two, three!

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At 00:12:21,491, Character said: - What was that?
- My beard! F***k, that hurts.

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At 00:12:27,538, Character said: I'm really sorry about that.
But one more pull and it's over.

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At 00:12:31,209, Character said: - I hate you.
- Alright. One, two, three.

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At 00:12:36,256, Character said: - Your eyebrows?
- Yes.

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At 00:12:39,217, Character said: With beard and eyebrows gone, I'm sure the worst is over.

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At 00:12:44,555, Character said: - Ready?
- No.

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At 00:12:47,016, Character said: Great. One, two, three!

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At 00:12:53,731, Character said: - What is it that?
- My eyelashes.

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At 00:13:00,405, Character said: F***k! Now I g***t a piece of plaster in my eye too.

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At 00:13:03,449, Character said: - Are you all right?
- Yes, this is nothing.

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At 00:13:07,662, Character said: Nothing? You have tortured me...

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At 00:13:11,749, Character said: disfigured me and made me blind on one eye...
and permanently mummified my head!

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At 00:13:17,797, Character said: - Get this f***g s***t off of me now!
- Okay. One...

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At 00:13:20,925, Character said: No f***g counting!

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At 00:13:36,357, Character said: - Have I lost all my f***g facial hair?
- No, there's still some left...

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At 00:13:41,362, Character said: and the rest of it is right here in your mask.

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At 00:13:43,990, Character said: - Remember to use plenty of Vaseline.
- No f***g way.

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At 00:13:48,119, Character said: I just want to say...

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At 00:14:15,980, Character said: Are you comfortable?

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At 00:14:22,403, Character said: I can assure you it gets a lot f***g worse.

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At 00:14:31,079, Character said: So, elinepedia.org,
do you have more Krampus facts,

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At 00:14:36,125, Character said: while we wait for this f***g assclown to dry?

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At 00:14:40,421, Character said: A lot of things have been forgotten
because they were considered bad,

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At 00:14:46,260, Character said: or not politically correct anymore.
Which is quite ironic.

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At 00:14:49,514, Character said: Because most of these creatures were made
in order to be more politically correct.

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At 00:14:55,186, Character said: Krampus and several of Santa's evil helpers came about;

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At 00:14:59,982, Character said: Because it was inappropriate
for St Nicholas to be so brutal,

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At 00:15:05,279, Character said: when punishing naughty kids.

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At 00:15:07,865, Character said: As a Bishop they wanted to portray
him as a gentle and kind man.

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At 00:15:15,873, Character said: Don't you think
Per-Ingvar has dried by now?

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At 00:15:18,960, Character said: Oh, right. I almost forgot.

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At 00:15:22,004, Character said: One, two, three.

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At 00:15:28,219, Character said: Four.

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At 00:15:30,221, Character said: Five, six, seven.

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At 00:15:37,061, Character said: Eight!

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At 00:15:59,333, Character said: - Krampus must be the coolest Christmas icon ever!
- My favorite is actually the barn gnome.

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At 00:16:04,213, Character said: The barn gnome?
He's g***t nothing on Krampus!

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At 00:16:08,634, Character said: Then you probably don't know about the real barn gnome.
He's not one to be messed with.

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At 00:16:15,183, Character said: He was small, but wicked strong.
And his b***e was venomous.

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At 00:16:19,604, Character said: If you didn't get otherworldly medicine, you would die.

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