Spread.aka.Toy.Boy.2009.1080p.BluRay.H264.AAC-RARBG Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:48,109 --> 00:00:49,869 My whole life, it was obvious 2 00:00:49,911 --> 00:00:51,711 I was gonna end up in this city. 3 00:00:55,449 --> 00:00:59,439 I don't want to be arrogant here, but I'm an incredibly attractive man. 4 00:00:59,487 --> 00:01:02,287 I can't help it. I don't try to be. I just **. 5 00:01:03,991 --> 00:01:06,081 When I was a kid, my mother's best friend used to tell me 6 00:01:06,127 --> 00:01:08,457 that I was gonna be a little heartbreaker. 7 00:01:08,496 --> 00:01:10,456 Turns out she was right. 8 00:01:10,498 --> 00:01:12,128 Her husband came home from work one day 9 00:01:12,166 --> 00:01:14,726 and found us f***g on the Stairmaster. 10 00:01:16,804 --> 00:01:18,934 Los Angeles, California. 11 00:01:18,973 --> 00:01:21,773 That's where all the beautiful little heartbreakers go to live and dream. 12 00:01:21,809 --> 00:01:25,109 30,000 of them arrive here every single month. 13 00:01:25,146 --> 00:01:27,666 30,000 prom kings and queens 14 00:01:27,715 --> 00:01:29,575 and Little Miss Cute T***s, 15 00:01:29,617 --> 00:01:31,447 every one of them with stars in their eyes 16 00:01:31,485 --> 00:01:33,275 and a dream in their heart. 17 00:01:33,321 --> 00:01:35,791 When I first came out here, I had a dream... 18 00:01:35,823 --> 00:01:37,763 a dream of an easy life. 19 00:01:37,792 --> 00:01:39,992 I was gonna get rich from lyin' around 20 00:01:40,027 --> 00:01:41,957 having my picture taken. 21 00:01:41,996 --> 00:01:45,556 I was gonna live in the hills and drive a noisy yellow sports car 22 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:49,400 and f***k 6' girls who weighed 89 lbs. 23 00:01:49,437 --> 00:01:52,527 Guess what? Most of it came true. 24 00:02:05,653 --> 00:02:07,623 Hey, handsome! 25 00:02:09,657 --> 00:02:11,917 Excuse me. Excuse me. 26 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,130 - Excuse me. - What's up? 27 00:02:15,162 --> 00:02:17,032 Good to see you. 28 00:02:17,064 --> 00:02:20,164 - You're here a little early, man. - Well, you know, a boy's gotta eat. 29 00:02:59,307 --> 00:03:01,037 # I don't wanna tell you # 30 00:03:01,075 --> 00:03:03,095 # 'Cause you're lookin' that way # 31 00:03:03,144 --> 00:03:06,244 # Turn around and wonder how you keep up # 32 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,540 # With things that I don't want to tell you # 33 00:03:08,582 --> 00:03:10,852 # 'Cause you're lookin' that way # 34 00:03:10,885 --> 00:03:13,215 # Turn around and wonder how you keep up # 35 00:03:13,254 --> 00:03:15,054 # With things that I don't... # 36 00:03:15,089 --> 00:03:17,389 Some men remember breast feeding. 37 00:03:17,425 --> 00:03:19,585 I do not. 38 00:03:19,627 --> 00:03:21,857 I do remember seeing my mother in the shower once. 39 00:03:21,896 --> 00:03:24,886 She had a giant mound of pubic hair. 40 00:03:24,932 --> 00:03:27,402 It caused me an aversion to all things untrimmed. 41 00:03:28,402 --> 00:03:31,572 Ah. Meet Jen. She has a bush like the outback. 42 00:03:32,773 --> 00:03:35,213 Strong hands though. I like that. 43 00:03:38,279 --> 00:03:39,799 Let's see. 44 00:03:39,847 --> 00:03:41,337 Ah, Shelly. 45 00:03:41,382 --> 00:03:44,012 Ladies, if you want t***s, go to Canada. 46 00:03:44,051 --> 00:03:47,511 They just do 'em better up there. Don't ask me why. 47 00:03:49,557 --> 00:03:52,717 I don't remember her name. But I do remember the look on her face 48 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:55,460 when she found out I was also sleeping with her sister. 49 00:03:56,630 --> 00:04:00,030 But tonight I'm not looking for the tight skin of a 20-year-old. 50 00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:02,927 I ** in need of assiduation and that changes the game. 51 00:04:02,970 --> 00:04:05,670 Ah, here we go. 52 00:04:05,706 --> 00:04:08,196 The jacket's Dolce, the jeans are by Helmut Lang 53 00:04:08,242 --> 00:04:10,902 and the complexion comes from a strict regimen of facials. 54 00:04:11,946 --> 00:04:14,236 I'm guessing she drives a Mercedes. 55 00:04:14,281 --> 00:04:15,981 By the way, there's only one pick-up line. 56 00:04:16,017 --> 00:04:17,637 Everything else is cheese. 57 00:04:17,685 --> 00:04:19,945 Hi. What's your name? 58 00:04:22,757 --> 00:04:24,317 - Samantha. - Hi, Samantha. 59 00:04:24,358 --> 00:04:25,878 I'm Nikki. 60 00:04:25,926 --> 00:04:28,516 - I'm leaving. - Really? 61 00:04:28,562 --> 00:04:30,932 Why? 62 00:04:30,965 --> 00:04:33,125 - It's late. - You're right. 63 00:04:33,167 --> 00:04:34,727 We should get going. 64 00:04:34,769 --> 00:04:36,359 So wait a second. You had dinner here? 65 00:04:36,404 --> 00:04:38,434 What'd you have? 66 00:04:38,472 --> 00:04:39,962 I had a salad. 67 00:04:40,007 --> 00:04:43,027 - What kind of salad? - A Greek salad. 68 00:04:43,077 --> 00:04:45,307 You had a Greek salad at a French restaurant? 69 00:04:45,346 --> 00:04:47,676 I like that. Oh. Valet, huh? 70 00:04:47,715 --> 00:04:50,175 I bet you're a bad driver. You want me to drive? 71 00:04:50,217 --> 00:04:51,707 I'll flip you for it. Here. 72 00:04:51,752 --> 00:04:54,022 Heads, I drive; tails, you drive. 73 00:04:55,956 --> 00:04:58,286 - There it is. - It's tails. You flipped it. 74 00:04:58,325 --> 00:05:00,515 You always flip it. Don't be a sore loser. 75 00:05:01,862 --> 00:05:03,802 Look, you're cute and everything, 76 00:05:03,831 --> 00:05:06,661 but you're not coming home with me. Thank you. 77 00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:10,070 You're gonna have to do better than that. 78 00:05:10,104 --> 00:05:12,504 "You're cute and everything"? What is that? 79 00:05:12,540 --> 00:05:14,340 I was trying not to be rude. 80 00:05:14,375 --> 00:05:16,065 - You're far from rude. - Aww. 81 00:05:16,110 --> 00:05:18,010 I'll help you out. 82 00:05:18,045 --> 00:05:20,905 Tell me that you're married. 83 00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:24,840 I ** not married. That would be a lie. 84 00:05:24,885 --> 00:05:27,045 You're not. 85 00:05:27,088 --> 00:05:29,318 Tell me that you're madly in love with someone. 86 00:05:31,425 --> 00:05:33,685 - That would also be a lie. - Mm-hmm. 87 00:05:36,197 --> 00:05:37,857 Then tell me why I can't come home with you. 88 00:05:39,834 --> 00:05:41,364 I don't know you. 89 00:05:51,378 --> 00:05:53,678 Roll the windows down, turn the music up 90 00:05:53,714 --> 00:05:55,714 and make an a***s out of yourself. 91 00:05:55,749 --> 00:05:57,239 It puts them at ease. 92 00:06:03,891 --> 00:06:06,521 It's nice. 93 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:08,890 Peter Bogdanovich used to live here. 94 00:06:08,929 --> 00:06:11,189 Hmm. I bet he did. 95 00:06:11,232 --> 00:06:12,822 What's that supposed to mean? 96 00:06:12,867 --> 00:06:14,557 Never show you're impressed. 97 00:06:14,602 --> 00:06:16,332 It lowers your market value. 98 00:06:16,370 --> 00:06:18,840 Do you want a drink? 99 00:06:18,873 --> 00:06:20,403 I don't drink. 100 00:06:40,227 --> 00:06:41,717 Come here. 101 00:06:48,769 --> 00:06:50,599 Wait. 102 00:06:51,739 --> 00:06:54,299 No boots in the bed. 103 00:06:54,341 --> 00:06:56,371 It's my bed. 104 00:06:57,645 --> 00:06:59,665 The boots go or I go. 105 00:07:07,788 --> 00:07:09,778 You want to give them a good f***g, 106 00:07:09,823 --> 00:07:12,953 but not too good. Leave a little room for the relationship to grow. 107 00:07:18,532 --> 00:07:20,232 Oh, this f***g... 108 00:07:22,269 --> 00:07:24,639 Hey, Nikki. 109 00:07:24,672 --> 00:07:26,832 Nikki, wake up. I gotta go to work. 110 00:07:26,874 --> 00:07:28,934 Now pay very close attention. 111 00:07:28,976 --> 00:07:32,466 I call this the "roll over sleeping smile." 112 00:08:19,193 --> 00:08:20,963 - Right here is fine. - There? 113 00:08:20,995 --> 00:08:22,785 Yeah. 114 00:08:25,499 --> 00:08:27,089 Nice spread, man. 115 00:08:28,202 --> 00:08:29,972 Yeah, it is, isn't it? 116 00:08:32,573 --> 00:08:35,573 Hey, do you keep these cards on file? 117 00:08:35,609 --> 00:08:37,539 Yeah, we can. 118 00:09:10,044 --> 00:09:12,644 It doesn't matter if you can cook or not. 119 00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:16,340 Women grade on effort. It's almost better when the meal's a flop. 120 00:09:16,383 --> 00:09:18,443 It shows that you're willing to make a fool of yourself. 121 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,810 It's all about creating equity. 122 00:09:21,855 --> 00:09:23,545 Think of it as a point system. 123 00:09:23,590 --> 00:09:27,030 One for flowers, two for dinner, three for an o***m. 124 00:09:27,061 --> 00:09:30,391 You need 26 points for them to trust you. 125 00:09:30,431 --> 00:09:32,401 And then you can go back to watching football. 126 00:09:35,836 --> 00:09:38,066 - Hello? - In here. 127 00:09:40,274 --> 00:09:42,274 Oh ho ho, you're still here. 128 00:09:43,310 --> 00:09:45,740 And you're cooking. 129 00:09:45,779 --> 00:09:47,939 - I'm trying. - Hmm. 130 00:09:47,981 --> 00:09:50,351 Turn around. 131 00:09:50,384 --> 00:09:51,944 Here you go. 132 00:09:51,985 --> 00:09:54,545 Sit down... and take off your shoes. 133 00:09:54,588 --> 00:09:56,488 I'm gonna go pour you a glass of wine. 134 00:09:57,524 --> 00:09:59,294 Here's what she doesn't know... 135 00:09:59,326 --> 00:10:01,016 I'm homeless, carless 136 00:10:01,061 --> 00:10:02,961 and completely unreliable. 137 00:10:02,996 --> 00:10:04,856 I do, however, own a cell phone 138 00:10:04,898 --> 00:10:07,698 that happens to be right in front of her. 139 00:10:07,735 --> 00:10:11,565 That's right, baby. 19 other offers and I'm here with you 140 00:10:11,605 --> 00:10:13,695 creating equity. 141 00:10:13,741 --> 00:10:17,111 So what do you do? 142 00:10:17,144 --> 00:10:18,874 What? 143 00:10:20,314 --> 00:10:21,844 For work? 144 00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:23,472 Do you have a job? 145 00:10:25,519 --> 00:10:27,039 No. 146 00:10:28,422 --> 00:10:30,752 What did you do today? 147 00:10:30,791 --> 00:10:32,281 I was here today. 148 00:10:32,326 --> 00:10:33,946 Yesterday... 149...