My.Dead.Boyfriend.2016.1080p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H264-FGT Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:14,548 � [light music] 2 00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:09,770 Oh. Hi, Mary. 3 00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,700 You okay? 4 00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:14,212 Rough day, huh? 5 00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:19,608 Look, if it... if it helps, uh, you look really hot. 6 00:01:20,513 --> 00:01:22,113 [beep] 7 00:01:23,516 --> 00:01:25,276 [beep] 8 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,716 [beep] [chuckles] 9 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,829 [beep] [gasps] 10 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:43,737 � [rock music] 11 00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:55,149 � Who can turn the world on with her smile � 12 00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:59,890 � Who can take a nothing day � 13 00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:04,117 � And suddenly make it all seem worthwhile � 14 00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:06,185 � Well it's you girl 15 00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:08,533 � And you should know it 16 00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:12,499 � With each glance and every little movement you show it � 17 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:16,570 � Love is all around no need to fake it � 18 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:21,240 � You can have the town why don't you take it � 19 00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:26,882 � You're gonna make it after all � 20 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:34,852 � How will you make it on your own � 21 00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:40,360 � This world is awfully big 22 00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:42,791 � Girl this time 23 00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,296 � You are all alone 24 00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:48,298 � But it's time you started living � 25 00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:52,342 � It's time you let someone else do some giving � 26 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:56,609 � Love is all around no need to fake it � 27 00:02:56,610 --> 00:03:01,280 � You can have the town why don't you take it � 28 00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:06,892 � You're gonna make it after all � 29 00:03:09,088 --> 00:03:13,428 � You're gonna make it af-- � 30 00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:18,532 How'd the job search go today? 31 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,772 I only ask you because I have some wonderful news. 32 00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:25,839 I'm gonna be joining you in that search myself tomorrow. 33 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,540 Hey, how old is this vermicelli, Primo? 34 00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:34,783 You know, you really should've come with me 35 00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,752 to that hot Vinyasa Yoga class this morning, 36 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,220 because that scary teacher was back. 37 00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:41,390 I ** convinced that she sat in her car 38 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,018 for 15 minutes prior to the class, 39 00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:46,023 holding a gun in her mouth, trying to get up the nerve 40 00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:48,326 to pull the trigger. And then I think she thought: 41 00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:50,399 F***k it, I'll wait till after lunch. 42 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,297 And then she chain-smoked three cigarettes 43 00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:55,129 and came in to teach us yoga in the most monotone, 44 00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:56,665 unenthused voice you can imagine. 45 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,970 I could tell she couldn't wait for the class to be over, 46 00:03:59,974 --> 00:04:03,344 and the mantra in her head was: "When this is over, 47 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:05,244 I'm getting a double whiskey sour, 48 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,876 and then I'm gonna taste that gun again." 49 00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:09,651 [sighing] 50 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:13,820 Sweated over a hot microwave for two and a half minutes. 51 00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:16,521 Ah... 52 00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:20,631 Ugh. 53 00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:23,828 Hmm. 54 00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:28,973 That's disgusting. 55 00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:35,313 Primo? 56 00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:45,849 [indistinct news report] 57 00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:50,118 So this was your husband? 58 00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:53,364 No, my... I mean, he was just a boyfriend. 59 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,300 Uh, can I, um- 60 00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:58,397 Careful, those things are killers. 61 00:04:58,399 --> 00:04:59,829 They're probably what killed him. 62 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:03,073 [Mary chuckling] So you lived together? 63 00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:05,540 No. I mean, yes. 64 00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:08,469 He lived here with me and his dog, but just for six months. 65 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:10,335 I kinda wanted him to stick around till New Year's, 66 00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:12,114 'cause that's a hard one to be alone. 67 00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,682 Mm-hmm. I hear that. 68 00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,251 I mean, he caught me on the rebound 69 00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:16,979 and it never really went anywhere. 70 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,424 He couldn't get it together. 71 00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:19,919 I had bigger expectations, of course, 72 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,850 but it never really rallied past the first stage. 73 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:26,656 I liked him, but he was more of a temp boyfriend. 74 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,890 You probably don't need to know all this. 75 00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,256 No, uh, a temp boyfriend? 76 00:05:30,264 --> 00:05:32,034 Go on. Well... 77 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:34,102 it's like I was between gigs. 78 00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:35,571 Yeah, I've been there. 79 00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,399 Right? And you were at work 80 00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:38,874 when the victim died? 81 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:40,712 Yeah, well, I don't work there anymore. 82 00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:43,008 I was fired today for being "late." 83 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:46,380 Wow. You are having a bad day. [knocking] 84 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:49,280 Right? And, uh, what job was that? 85 00:05:49,283 --> 00:05:51,223 I was a temp. Mm-hmm. 86 00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:53,248 [officer] Officer Parker? Were there any 87 00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,993 yoga-teacher shootings today? 88 00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,988 Uh, not that I'm aware. Shoot! 89 00:05:56,990 --> 00:06:01,560 Oh, hey, Paul. Dead Caucasian watching TV. 90 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:04,832 Thanks, Parker. Medical examiner. 91 00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:08,602 Officer Parker. 92 00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:13,437 Sorry, I just want to be sure 93 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:16,840 this is the dead Caucasian you're talking about. 94 00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:19,884 You know, right here, right in this general, uh, vicinity? 95 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,850 Take it easy, Paul. No, you take it easy, Parker! 96 00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:24,520 How many times do I have to tell you, 97 00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,788 I do not need you to tell me where the dead body is 98 00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:29,317 when we're in an apartment the size of my bathroom! 99 00:06:29,323 --> 00:06:31,123 Hey! 100 00:06:33,626 --> 00:06:36,596 Officer Brady? Yeah? 101 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:39,557 You want me to get you a soda, anything? 102 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,226 No, thanks. I'm cool. 103 00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,535 Huh. Okay. 104 00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:47,637 Then get the f***k away from the dead body! 105 00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:58,083 Miss? 106 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,489 Miss... 107 00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:01,987 McCrawley, Mary. McCrawley, Mary. 108 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:06,289 Was the deceased sick in anyway? 109 00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,263 Nope. On medication? 110 00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,332 Not that I knew of. Do you dress him? 111 00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:13,400 Not today. His shirt's on inside out. 112 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,370 Mm. He was probably trying on a new style. 113 00:07:15,369 --> 00:07:17,039 He had a lot of time on his hands. 114 00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:20,537 When was the last time you had relations with the deceased? 115 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:24,041 He wasn't deceased the last time we had relations. 116 00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:28,481 [woman] Primo, that's your name? 117 00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:31,182 And that's all you do? You write poetry? 118 00:07:31,185 --> 00:07:32,545 Mm-hmm. That's great. 119 00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:34,723 So, what, do you have last name, Primo? 120 00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:37,521 Or is that like a one-name-poet kinda thing? 121 00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:40,094 [whispering] Schultz? 122 00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:41,633 German-Jewish. 123 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:44,228 Mm-mm. German-German. 124 00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:46,471 Mm-hmm. Jewish-Jewish. 125 00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:49,197 Sorry. My mother would drive her car 126 00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:50,743 off the George Washington Bridge 127 00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:52,737 if I brought home a German. 128 00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:54,509 Seriously, I'm not kidding. 129 00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:56,508 But it was very nice to meet you. 130 00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,240 Mare! Here. 131 00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,345 Oh, my God. What? 132 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:02,107 Greg's here. Who's Greg? 133 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:04,245 And he brought that little fuckin' w***e, too. 134 00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:05,481 I don't remember a Greg. 135 00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,286 Yeah, you do. Lazy eye, big d***k? 136 00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:09,617 Oh, Greg. That Greg, yeah. 137 00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:12,593 Is he looking over this way? How can you tell? 138 00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,933 Alright, I have to go talk to him....