Its Garry Shandlings s02e10 Mr Sparks Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:23,130 --> 00:00:29,870 I... I... Thanks. Well, welcome to the 2 00:00:29,870 --> 00:00:33,710 show. And there's not much of a monologue tonight because... 3 00:00:34,430 --> 00:00:35,790 I'm actually really excited. 4 00:00:36,090 --> 00:00:39,150 Well, I know you're disappointed. I've never seen such a disappointed reaction. 5 00:00:40,090 --> 00:00:41,570 It slid right by you. 6 00:00:42,770 --> 00:00:45,770 Monologue? Not do a monologue? Oh, honey, let's get out of here. 7 00:00:46,810 --> 00:00:51,090 I'm actually excited because I g***t a new stereo VCR. 8 00:00:51,690 --> 00:00:52,690 Well, 9 00:00:53,230 --> 00:00:54,430 you're laughing at the wrong places. 10 00:00:57,470 --> 00:01:01,150 It's just a video recorder. I g***t this stereo TV because I love... 11 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,720 Stereo television. I mean, isn't it the best, really? 12 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:10,760 Yeah, it's... You never do really say, it's not in stereo, why waste our time, 13 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:11,699 do you? 14 00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:16,320 But I like watching Password in stereo, because it's like, Betty White sounds 15 00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:20,900 like she's over here, and, you know, Jamie Farr sounds like he's way over 16 00:01:22,140 --> 00:01:24,940 Bert Convy comes right out of both speakers, right at you. 17 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:31,040 And so then this way, I can now tape my stereo programs and play them later at 18 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:34,320 parties, because I have a lot of really... Okay. 19 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:39,320 I really don't have any. I don't like parties, if the truth be known. It's 20 00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,720 really to the point now, if I'm not invited, I don't even go. 21 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:49,800 So, the deal is, this is my place. 22 00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:52,540 And, you know, Grant is... 23 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:59,560 This is a wonderful angle I have on Grant. You know, little Grant is helping 24 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:05,380 install the video recorder because he's really an electronics whiz. And so then 25 00:02:05,380 --> 00:02:09,440 I promised him as a reward for helping me install this that I would take him 26 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,980 anywhere he wants to go on Saturday, in the car. You know, he loves going in the 27 00:02:12,980 --> 00:02:16,160 car. I crack the window down a little and he sticks his head out. 28 00:02:16,980 --> 00:02:20,480 And the wind hits him in the face and, you know, it's adorable. 29 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:22,200 He thinks he's people, really. 30 00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:30,380 So, uh, now how much longer is this gonna take, Grant? Oh, cool your jets, 31 00:02:30,380 --> 00:02:32,120 Gary. It'll be ready when it's ready. 32 00:02:35,020 --> 00:02:36,580 Sure he's g***t a hot temper. 33 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,900 You know, I hope he uses his genius for good, not evil. 34 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:48,720 Uncle Gary, do you have any coaxial crimpers? 35 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:52,400 Oh, you know, I g***t some. I g***t a lot of crimpers next to my bed. 36 00:02:52,780 --> 00:02:58,020 But I don't think any of them are coaxial. It's g***t to be coaxial. It's 37 00:02:58,020 --> 00:03:01,420 be coaxial. Okay, well, you know what I'll do? I'll go over to Solomon's 38 00:03:01,420 --> 00:03:05,360 Hardware Store and pick some up. Okay, okay. It's about a two -minute walk from 39 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:06,360 here. 40 00:03:06,650 --> 00:03:09,130 I hate to leave you hanging for two minutes right in the middle of the show. 41 00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:13,810 Well, you know what? We can run the opening theme. That's 41 seconds. 42 00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:18,030 And I'll run instead of walk, and I'll be back in 41 seconds. 43 00:03:18,390 --> 00:03:20,030 So you won't be alone, okay? 44 00:03:20,290 --> 00:03:23,830 You time me. Ready, set, go. 45 00:03:26,990 --> 00:03:28,850 This is the theme to Gary's show. 46 00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:30,770 The theme to Gary's show. 47 00:03:30,990 --> 00:03:34,510 Gary called me up and asked if I would write his theme song. 48 00:03:35,180 --> 00:03:39,460 I'm almost halfway finished. How do you like it so far? How do you like the 49 00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:40,720 theme to Gary's show? 50 00:03:41,940 --> 00:03:46,480 This is the theme to Gary's show, the opening theme to Gary's show. This is 51 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:49,460 music that you hear as you watch the credits. 52 00:03:49,820 --> 00:03:54,820 We're almost in the part of where I start to whistle. Then we'll watch this 53 00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:55,820 Shandling show. 54 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,220 This was the theme to Gary Shandling's show. 55 00:04:22,890 --> 00:04:23,890 How close was I? 56 00:04:25,230 --> 00:04:28,810 I'm really sorry that took me a little longer than the opening theme. 57 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:32,450 Solomon's was out of crimpers and I had to run down to the downtown store. 58 00:04:36,370 --> 00:04:37,370 How's it going, Grant? 59 00:04:37,490 --> 00:04:39,210 Oh, all right. Why? 60 00:04:40,630 --> 00:04:42,610 Why are you posing like you're in GQ? 61 00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:46,010 Oh, I don't know. 62 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,800 I guess I'm just a cool guy. 63 00:04:48,060 --> 00:04:50,440 Would it have anything to do with the fact that there's a hole in the wall? 64 00:04:51,060 --> 00:04:55,620 There's a beautiful, huge hole in the wall, Grant. Look, I'm sorry. 65 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,620 I just, I guess I yanked the cable too hard. 66 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:01,520 Oh, yeah, Grant always forgets about his superhuman strength. 67 00:05:04,820 --> 00:05:07,580 You know, one time he actually sat in a chair and it broke. 68 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:12,440 Grant, it goes all the way through. 69 00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:14,380 To the next apartment. 70 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,580 Hey, Mr. 71 00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:19,380 Sparks. 72 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,780 Hey, I'm Gary Shandling, your next -door neighbor. 73 00:05:23,020 --> 00:05:24,640 What is this hole doing here? 74 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,860 Well, I'll come right over and explain it to you. No, you won't. 75 00:05:29,140 --> 00:05:31,560 I don't want you to break anything in here. I'll come over there. 76 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:34,040 Right -o. 77 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:35,520 Well, all right. This will be good. 78 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,560 Oh, boy, what a crotchety old coot. 79 00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:42,280 Hey, come on, Grant. That's no way to talk to older people, you know? They're 80 00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:44,160 very wise and they have a lot to offer. 81 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:48,420 Who do you think that is? 82 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:53,040 Hey. 83 00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:58,280 Mr. Sparks, really, it's good to see you. You know, it's funny that this 84 00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:01,620 had to happen for us to really get to know each other, isn't it? This is 85 00:06:01,620 --> 00:06:04,720 a godsend. I already know who you are. 86 00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:07,650 I hear you talking to yourself all the time. 87 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:11,590 Your car is always parked over the line in my parking space. 88 00:06:11,930 --> 00:06:15,210 And I know that you steal the comics out of my paper every Sunday. 89 00:06:16,010 --> 00:06:18,630 You know, Mary Worth isn't in the recycler. 90 00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:21,630 So... Okay. 91 00:06:22,370 --> 00:06:23,970 Now, what the hell happened to my wall? 92 00:06:24,270 --> 00:06:30,190 Okay. Well, it's really nothing. You know, and I was putting in this VCR. 93 00:06:30,270 --> 00:06:32,770 you know, the walls are very thin to begin with in the apartment. 94 00:06:33,430 --> 00:06:34,430 So... 95 00:06:35,050 --> 00:06:36,870 Okay, well, he did it. He did it. 96 00:06:37,210 --> 00:06:40,470 I can't believe it myself, Mr. Sparks. I was out at the hardware store, and I 97 00:06:40,470 --> 00:06:42,370 came back. What did you do? What did you do? 98 00:06:45,330 --> 00:06:50,210 Look, I'm sorry, Mr. Sparks. I was just hooking up Uncle Gary's stereo VCR for 99 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:53,530 him, and I yanked the cable, and I didn't know... Wait, wait, wait, wait, 100 00:06:53,530 --> 00:06:55,330 wait. Wait a minute here. 101 00:06:56,390 --> 00:06:59,090 He was doing your work, and you're blaming him? 102 00:06:59,430 --> 00:07:01,610 Well, yeah. Can you believe it? 103 00:07:03,630 --> 00:07:05,490 Chandling, you're a bigger a***s than I thought. 104 00:07:05,870 --> 00:07:06,870 Oh, yeah, Mr. 105 00:07:07,050 --> 00:07:08,110 Sparks. All right. 106 00:07:09,570 --> 00:07:13,050 You know, Grant, why don't you just run along and I'll see you Saturday, okay? 107 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,309 Okay. Yeah. 108 00:07:14,310 --> 00:07:17,870 I want to talk to Mr. Sparks. It was nice meeting you, Mr. Sparks. Mm -hmm. 109 00:07:18,770 --> 00:07:20,990 Bye. See you again. You know, Mr. 110 00:07:21,250 --> 00:07:22,250 Sparks, look, 111 00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:26,170 I can take care of the whole. I know you're a little upset about it, but all 112 00:07:26,170 --> 00:07:27,450 right, look. 113 00:07:28,290 --> 00:07:30,310 Why don't we just say three days have passed. 114 00:07:30,940 --> 00:07:33,660 I've had the whole fix, and it's as good as new. 115 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,160 Okay? That's it. 116 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:36,520 You see? 117 00:07:37,060 --> 00:07:38,060 Here, 118 00:07:38,340 --> 00:07:40,280 thank you very much. Great job. Good job. 119 00:07:47,140 --> 00:07:50,480 It's all fixed up, and three days flew by like that. 120 00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:52,380 Three days, huh? Yeah. 121 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:53,600 Terrific, Shanling. 122 00:07:53,660 --> 00:07:54,840 I missed my medication. 123 00:07:57,700 --> 00:07:58,740 Well, you know, hey. 124 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,640 laughter's the best...