Deadpool.And.Wolverine.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.NET Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.MY-SUBS.org 2 00:00:32,940 --> 00:00:40,700 Oh, sorry, I'm excited to be here. It's been a while. 3 00:00:40,701 --> 00:00:44,498 You know, for a long time, I wasn't sure I'd ever be back. Disney bought 4 00:00:44,510 --> 00:00:48,160 Fox, there was a whole boring rights issue, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah. 5 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,527 But then, it turned out they wanted me. The one guy who 6 00:00:51,539 --> 00:00:55,000 shouldn't even have his own movie. Much less a franchise. 7 00:00:57,900 --> 00:01:01,728 You are so stupid. Look, we know the title of this thing, so I know what 8 00:01:01,740 --> 00:01:05,900 you're wondering. How are we gonna do this without dishonoring Logan's memory? 9 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:12,237 And I'll tell you how. Or not. I'm gonna let you 10 00:01:12,249 --> 00:01:16,120 in on a little secret. Wolverine is not dead. 11 00:01:16,740 --> 00:01:19,794 Sure, it made for a perfect ending to a very sad story, 12 00:01:19,806 --> 00:01:22,760 but that's not how regenerative healing factors work. 13 00:01:23,270 --> 00:01:26,223 You think I want to be out here in beautiful downtown North 14 00:01:26,235 --> 00:01:29,300 Dakota, digging up the one and only Wolverine? No, thank you. 15 00:01:30,045 --> 00:01:32,626 But the fate of my entire world is at stake. 16 00:01:32,638 --> 00:01:35,380 You may not be living his best life, but he sure as hell ain't. 17 00:01:36,020 --> 00:01:37,020 Dead. 18 00:01:42,710 --> 00:01:43,910 Bingo. 19 00:01:45,010 --> 00:01:46,010 Yahtzee. 20 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,350 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 21 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:55,860 Dammit! 22 00:01:57,550 --> 00:01:59,640 Son of a bitch! 23 00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:09,380 Motherfucker! My goodness! That was weird. 24 00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:14,800 I'm much calmer now. 25 00:02:16,140 --> 00:02:21,380 Look, I'm not a man of science, but you seem incredibly passed away. 26 00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:27,369 But it's good to see you. I gotta be honest, 27 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,600 I've always wanted to ride with you, Logan. 28 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,903 You and me getting into a Deadpool, and Wolverine just 29 00:02:33,915 --> 00:02:37,540 f***g s***t up. Can you imagine the fun? The chaos? The residuals. 30 00:02:38,540 --> 00:02:39,880 31 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:41,440 Did I, Mike? 32 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:45,840 She has nothing that'll bring me back to life faster than a big bag of mammal cash. 33 00:02:47,970 --> 00:02:48,970 Me too, Hugh. 34 00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:51,740 No. No, no, no. 35 00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:58,060 Ugh, he had to get all noble and die for real. 36 00:02:59,950 --> 00:03:01,630 God dammit! I can really use your help right now. 37 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,860 I'm warning you! I'm not alone! 38 00:03:17,140 --> 00:03:21,700 Wade Winston Wilson. You are under arrest by the time variance authority. 39 00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:24,540 Too many crimes against you. Come out. 40 00:03:26,660 --> 00:03:28,360 Death by day, player. 41 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:32,320 Last chance. Throw out your weapons and come out peacefully. 42 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,040 I'm not gonna give you my weapons! 43 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,300 But I promise not to use them. 44 00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:43,460 There are 206 bones in the human body. 207 if I'm watching Gossip Girl. 45 00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:44,940 Here we go. 46 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,600 Maximum effort. 47 00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:56,090 Okay, Peanut. I guess we'll get that team up after. 48 00:05:53,100 --> 00:06:01,100 Now let's find out who's on the bus. 49 00:06:39,410 --> 00:06:40,890 So, leaving that room right now. 50 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,490 To be clear, I'm not proud of any of this. 51 00:06:46,790 --> 00:06:50,590 The warden violence, the quiff of necrophilia, it isn't who I **. 52 00:06:50,591 --> 00:06:53,430 It isn't who I want to be. Who I want to be? Well, 53 00:06:53,442 --> 00:06:56,350 to help you understand that. I gotta take you back. 54 00:06:56,710 --> 00:07:01,990 A little joy ride I took through space and time. To the day it changed everything. 55 00:07:14,090 --> 00:07:17,815 I can't believe I'm finally here. I've waited for 56 00:07:17,827 --> 00:07:21,870 this moment for so long. Thank you sir for seeing me. 57 00:07:23,050 --> 00:07:28,670 I firmly believe that my services could be of great use to your organization. 58 00:07:29,430 --> 00:07:32,097 Now I know I was caught masturbating in the lobby of Stark Tower. 59 00:07:32,109 --> 00:07:34,490 I'm sure you did that. I'm sorry, what was that? No, I'm sorry. 60 00:07:34,710 --> 00:07:37,518 That's when you get those toy pulp 61 00:07:37,530 --> 00:07:40,350 hands, right? And then you just look down and you just. 62 00:07:40,351 --> 00:07:43,315 .. you brace yourself and you ravage the midsection. 63 00:07:43,327 --> 00:07:47,030 I get it. Okay, okay. The picture's painted. 64 00:07:48,460 --> 00:07:52,209 You get the gist. What exactly brings you here 65 00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:56,310 today? Well, um, wow, okay. Uh, I care. 66 00:07:57,590 --> 00:08:01,121 I know I'm turning everything into a joke, but I care. 67 00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:04,990 I want to use that feeling for something important. 68 00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:11,990 I want to matter to show my girl that I matter. 69 00:08:13,820 --> 00:08:16,294 And, um, you know, I feel like I'm wasting the 70 00:08:16,306 --> 00:08:18,630 good stuff here. Is the man not going to be 71 00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:21,549 joining us? The man? Yeah. I should say this. 72 00:08:21,561 --> 00:08:24,430 As far as you're concerned right now, I'm the man. 73 00:08:24,431 --> 00:08:27,655 The man is me. I ** the man in this circumstance. 74 00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:30,770 And if you say he doesn't do this kind of thing anymore. 75 00:08:30,975 --> 00:08:35,313 Cameos? Meetings. Entry-level meetings. 76 00:08:35,325 --> 00:08:38,950 Entry-level. Are you the chauffeur? I... 77 00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:41,579 Common misconception. I did begin my career as 78 00:08:41,591 --> 00:08:44,230 Mr. Stark's drive-in. I quickly pivoted to the chauffeur. 79 00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:48,204 And why I ** vetting your resume. 80 00:08:48,216 --> 00:08:52,390 You seem to have left out whether or not you had 81 00:08:52,515 --> 00:08:56,490 any experience as a member of a team. Could you maybe add a little bit of perspective? 82 00:08:56,930 --> 00:08:59,206 No, yes, of course. I was special forces. 83 00:08:59,218 --> 00:09:01,730 But I was mainly, I was team leader, founder, 84 00:09:02,270 --> 00:09:04,251 really, of X-Force. Sadly, they all perished in action. 85 00:09:04,263 --> 00:09:06,210 Oh, how exactly did that happen? 86 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,069 Well, the police say gravity, but if just between 87 00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:11,250 us, they didn't test well in the focus group. 88 00:09:12,310 --> 00:09:14,706 Particularly cable. Oh, I can see this isn't going well. 89 00:09:14,718 --> 00:09:17,290 Please stop writing. Look, I'm just 90 00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:21,730 I want to be an Avenger. I want to be an Avenger. 91 00:09:24,270 --> 00:09:26,583 Why do you want to be an Avenger? To look around 92 00:09:26,595 --> 00:09:28,630 you. I mean, they're the best of the best. 93 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:35,530 And what they do matters. I need to be an Avenger. A certain girl is kind of had a mistake. 94 00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:39,890 And if I don't, you know, turn things around and do something with my gifts, 95 00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:43,310 I don't think it's going to really work out for me. And I wouldn't blame her. 96 00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:47,163 The Avengers are a very unique group of 97 00:09:47,175 --> 00:09:50,870 superheroes that stand for something more than just 98 00:09:50,871 --> 00:09:55,870 fighting and wearing costumes. I mean, people look up to us. Kids look up to us. 99 00:09:56,290 --> 00:09:59,230 I'm sorry. Us? I wasn't aware that you were an Avenger. 100 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:03,310 Avengers adjacent, technically. What's your superpower? Is it parallel parking? I was so sorry. 101 00:10:04,010 --> 00:10:08,650 That was cruel. I lash out when I'm nervous. It won't happen again. 102 00:10:08,930 --> 00:10:13,010 Let's cut to the chase, please. You just said moments ago that you wanted to be an 103 00:10:13,011 --> 00:10:16,291 Avenger because you need it. Yes, sir, I do. 104 00:10:16,303 --> 00:10:19,370 But the Avengers don't do the job because they need it. 105 00:10:19,371 --> 00:10:22,192 They do the job because people need them. 106 00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:24,650 Do you see the distinction? Yes, sir. 107 00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:30,100 Please, Mr. Hogan, I don't want to 108 00:10:30,112 --> 00:10:32,910 spend the rest of my life like an annoying one-trick pony. 109 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,356 Oh my God. You're standing. Yeah, now's the time that we stand. 110 00:10:43,380 --> 00:10:45,722 D***n it. Now, the problem might be that you're 111 00:10:45,734 --> 00:10:48,140 reaching a little too high. Name for the middle 112 00:10:48,141 --> 00:10:49,931 and you'll never miss. Right? I think you g***t a good one. 113 00:10:49,943 --> 00:10:51,920 I believe what you're saying. 114 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,677...