South.Park.S26E03.1080p.WEB.h264-BAE Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:40,532 --> 00:00:42,033 See, Stan? You gotta choose 2 00:00:42,034 --> 00:00:43,801 if you wanna be in Gryffindor or Slytherin. 3 00:00:43,802 --> 00:00:45,703 Yeah, can I do it? 4 00:00:45,704 --> 00:00:47,772 Yeah, see, you gotta fight these fairy guys. 5 00:00:47,773 --> 00:00:49,006 Randy. 6 00:00:50,476 --> 00:00:51,776 Randy! 7 00:00:51,777 --> 00:00:53,311 The powder room toilet is broken. 8 00:00:53,312 --> 00:00:54,512 Again! 9 00:00:54,513 --> 00:00:56,047 Did you jiggle the handle? 10 00:00:56,048 --> 00:00:57,482 Yes, I jiggled the handle. 11 00:00:57,483 --> 00:00:59,384 Will you come fix this, please? 12 00:00:59,385 --> 00:01:01,519 Okay, okay. 13 00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:09,160 Huh, well, let's see. 14 00:01:09,161 --> 00:01:12,830 It's gotta be the little black floaty thingie. 15 00:01:12,831 --> 00:01:13,965 What'd you do to it? 16 00:01:13,966 --> 00:01:15,633 I didn't do anything. 17 00:01:15,634 --> 00:01:17,001 Lemme see if there's water in the bowl. 18 00:01:17,002 --> 00:01:19,036 No! Don't lift the lid. 19 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,838 Why can't I lift the lid? 20 00:01:20,839 --> 00:01:23,641 Don't, Randy! Uh-huh. 21 00:01:23,642 --> 00:01:25,743 Hey, guys! Your mom took a s***t 22 00:01:25,744 --> 00:01:27,211 and doesn't want me to see it. 23 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,213 Ew! Gross, Dad! 24 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:32,016 Randy! We need to get a new toilet. 25 00:01:32,017 --> 00:01:34,385 We can't just get rid of Ol' Blue, Sharon. 26 00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:35,920 This is embarrassing. 27 00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:39,023 It's the powder room toilet, the one guests use. 28 00:01:39,024 --> 00:01:40,558 You get a new toilet, Randy, 29 00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:43,494 or I'm not helping you sell weed anymore! 30 00:01:43,495 --> 00:01:45,930 Alright, alright. Sharon, you win. 31 00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:47,132 As usual. 32 00:01:49,001 --> 00:01:50,369 Poor Ol' Blue. 33 00:01:58,444 --> 00:02:00,211 Can I help you with anything? 34 00:02:00,212 --> 00:02:03,014 Oh, yeah, just lookin' for a new toilet to replace Ol' Blue. 35 00:02:03,015 --> 00:02:05,183 Alright, well, all our toilets here are standard bowl, 36 00:02:05,184 --> 00:02:06,350 come with full warranty. 37 00:02:06,351 --> 00:02:07,752 How much you looking to spend? 38 00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,120 Well I'm not poor. 39 00:02:09,121 --> 00:02:11,222 I happen to have my own weed business. 40 00:02:11,223 --> 00:02:13,458 So that's pretty much the nicest one you have, right? 41 00:02:13,459 --> 00:02:15,126 Yeah, that's probably the top model, you know, 42 00:02:15,127 --> 00:02:18,429 before you start getting into the Japanese toilets. 43 00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:19,797 Japanese toilets? 44 00:02:19,798 --> 00:02:21,566 Yeah, they're the sort of the super-high-class 45 00:02:21,567 --> 00:02:23,301 luxury models with all the bells and whistles. 46 00:02:23,302 --> 00:02:25,870 But you probably don't wanna spend that kind of money. 47 00:02:25,871 --> 00:02:27,605 I'm not poor. 48 00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:30,408 Oh, well, we can show them to you. 49 00:02:30,409 --> 00:02:32,578 The Japanese toilets are right over there. 50 00:02:38,217 --> 00:02:39,550 Hi, Rick. This gentleman 51 00:02:39,551 --> 00:02:41,419 would like to see the Japanese toilets. 52 00:02:41,420 --> 00:02:43,588 Well, of course, sir. My name is Rick. 53 00:02:43,589 --> 00:02:45,591 Let me know if there's anything you need. 54 00:02:47,726 --> 00:02:50,061 These toilets are all equipped with the highest-end features, 55 00:02:50,062 --> 00:02:51,729 including an automatic bidet system, 56 00:02:51,730 --> 00:02:54,232 bluetooth capability, and seat warmers. 57 00:02:54,233 --> 00:02:56,567 Seat warmers? Of course. 58 00:02:56,568 --> 00:02:58,336 And the toilet senses when you've come into the room, 59 00:02:58,337 --> 00:03:00,471 turns on a small light, plays welcome music, 60 00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,073 and raises the lid for you. 61 00:03:02,074 --> 00:03:04,809 Can I offer you come sparkling water or champagne? 62 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:07,178 Oh, sure, I'll take some champagne. 63 00:03:07,179 --> 00:03:08,980 All the toilet's functions are operated 64 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:11,182 by a touch-button remote which you mount 65 00:03:11,183 --> 00:03:13,351 where the toilet-paper roll used to go. 66 00:03:13,352 --> 00:03:15,419 So then where do you keep the toilet paper? 67 00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:18,689 With a Japanese toilet, you don't need toilet paper. 68 00:03:18,690 --> 00:03:21,059 The toilet washes you completely clean. 69 00:03:23,195 --> 00:03:24,795 You're mad. 70 00:03:24,796 --> 00:03:26,531 No, it's true. 71 00:03:26,532 --> 00:03:28,165 It has warm water and a dryer 72 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:31,003 and cleans you eight times better than toilet paper can. 73 00:03:32,871 --> 00:03:35,373 Would you like to take one for a test drive? 74 00:03:35,374 --> 00:03:36,674 Oh, uh, sure. 75 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:38,776 I did have kind of a big breakfast. 76 00:03:38,777 --> 00:03:40,178 Right over here. 77 00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:03,535 Oh. 78 00:04:06,171 --> 00:04:07,805 Whoa! 79 00:04:07,806 --> 00:04:09,974 Ooh. Oh, oh! Oh. 80 00:04:09,975 --> 00:04:11,409 Ahhh! 81 00:04:11,410 --> 00:04:13,678 Oh, oh! 82 00:04:20,919 --> 00:04:22,887 Ohh! Oh. 83 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:31,562 Okay, how much? 84 00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:34,932 Guys, I wanted to talk to you because I want you all 85 00:04:34,933 --> 00:04:37,436 to think about how we're viewed as a family. 86 00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:41,672 You know, as a prominent weed dealer, we are successful, 87 00:04:41,673 --> 00:04:44,275 and we're sort of looked up to in this town 88 00:04:44,276 --> 00:04:48,412 because we have nice things that most families can't afford. 89 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,381 I mean, Stan, you're playing "Hogwarts Legacy" 90 00:04:50,382 --> 00:04:52,016 on PS5, right? 91 00:04:52,017 --> 00:04:54,085 You're playing "Hogwarts Legacy" on a PS5. 92 00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:56,554 Yeah, my... my point is that most people in town 93 00:04:56,555 --> 00:04:58,189 don't even have a PS5. 94 00:04:58,190 --> 00:04:59,790 They still have PS4s, 95 00:04:59,791 --> 00:05:03,061 and so we're basically the Kennedys of South Park. 96 00:05:04,196 --> 00:05:07,732 And the plain fact is that well-off families 97 00:05:07,733 --> 00:05:09,133 have nice things, 98 00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:11,202 and we shouldn't be ashamed of that. 99 00:05:11,203 --> 00:05:13,271 Ohp! New toilet's here! 100 00:05:15,540 --> 00:05:18,776 Hajimemashite. Japanese Torei des! 101 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,911 Uh, yes, thank you. Bring it on in. 102 00:05:20,912 --> 00:05:23,981 Kyo fun yori! Kro fun yori! 103 00:05:23,982 --> 00:05:28,986 Kyo fun yori! Kro fun yori! Kro fun yori! 104 00:05:28,987 --> 00:05:31,756 That's the new toilet? How much did it cost? 105 00:05:31,757 --> 00:05:34,492 Oh, Sharon. Tennish. 106 00:05:34,493 --> 00:05:36,927 What's tennish? Tennish. 107 00:05:36,928 --> 00:05:39,296 Thousandish. Ten thousandish. 108 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:42,500 You spent $10,000 on a toilet?! 109 00:05:42,501 --> 00:05:44,568 We don't have that kind of money, Randy! 110 00:05:44,569 --> 00:05:45,970 Yeah, we do. 111 00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,838 Shitsurei Shimasu! Owarimashita. 112 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:49,674 Okay, yeah, right here? Okay. 113 00:05:53,278 --> 00:05:55,346 Doomo! Aringanto gozaimashita! 114 00:05:55,347 --> 00:05:57,114 Aringato gozaimashita! 115 00:05:57,115 --> 00:05:58,617 K, thanks. 116 00:06:03,755 --> 00:06:06,290 You are taking that back to the store. 117 00:06:06,291 --> 00:06:07,625 Try it, Sharon. 118 00:06:07,626 --> 00:06:09,093 I don't need to, Randy. I want... 119 00:06:09,094 --> 00:06:10,661 Try it, Sharon! 120 00:06:21,873 --> 00:06:23,641 Oh. Oh. 121 00:06:25,043 --> 00:06:27,378 Oh! Ohh! 122 00:06:27,379 --> 00:06:28,946 Ah-ha-ha! 123 00:06:28,947 --> 00:06:29,980 I wanna try it. 124 00:06:29,981 --> 00:06:31,115 Shhh! 125 00:06:31,116 --> 00:06:32,616 Ah-ho-ho! 126 00:06:32,617 --> 00:06:34,719 Ohh! 127 00:06:40,325 --> 00:06:41,692 Oh, look, there he goes. 128 00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,361 It's Mr. Big Shot. 129 00:06:45,330 --> 00:06:46,997 Hey, Richie Rich. You eating caviar 130 00:06:46,998 --> 00:06:48,734 for lunch today, Richie Rich? 131 00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:55,707 Stan, just so you know, nobody gives a s***t. 132 00:06:57,476 --> 00:06:58,976 About what? 133 00:06:58,977 --> 00:07:00,178 Come on, guys! 134 00:07:02,981 --> 00:07:05,416 Did you know some people can't even afford to eat? 135 00:07:05,417 --> 00:07:08,453 How about caring for something that matters, you bitch? 136 00:07:09,654 --> 00:07:11,422 What the? 137 00:07:11,423 --> 00:07:13,991 Hey, Stan, you really have to be careful. 138 00:07:13,992 --> 00:07:15,659 Of what? 139 00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:17,495 Look, it's great that you come from a wealthy family, 140 00:07:17,496 --> 00:07:19,764 but people don't like getting their noses rubbed in it. 141 00:07:19,765 --> 00:07:22,566 Dude, I haven't even said anything! 142 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,235 Well, your dad called everyone last night 143 00:07:24,236 -->...