Animal.Control.S03E05.1080p.WEB.h264-ETHEL Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:01,504 --> 00:00:02,639 ...Dr. Tarantula. 2 00:00:02,672 --> 00:00:03,306 Huh? 3 00:00:04,542 --> 00:00:05,512 What the hell? 4 00:00:05,512 --> 00:00:07,447 A dog locked in a car. Is this the 1980s? 5 00:00:07,481 --> 00:00:10,287 ** I fighting for my right to party in a Lacoste polo? 6 00:00:10,321 --> 00:00:12,526 Well, the little guy seems like he's doing okay. 7 00:00:12,559 --> 00:00:13,661 He's not even panting. 8 00:00:13,728 --> 00:00:15,699 Maybe the owner just had, like, a bathroom emergency. 9 00:00:15,732 --> 00:00:17,067 Yeah. Can't risk it. 10 00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:18,436 It's probably what the owner thought. 11 00:00:18,469 --> 00:00:19,305 Stand back. 12 00:00:19,338 --> 00:00:19,806 Oh. 13 00:00:20,407 --> 00:00:22,211 Starting to feel like this isn't your first time 14 00:00:22,244 --> 00:00:24,181 busting out the window of a really nice car. 15 00:00:24,181 --> 00:00:25,450 Perks of the job. 16 00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:26,653 [crash] 17 00:00:28,056 --> 00:00:30,762 Don't worry, buddy. The heroes have arrived. 18 00:00:30,795 --> 00:00:33,100 Oh my God! What are you doing?! 19 00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:34,335 Saving your dog's life. 20 00:00:34,369 --> 00:00:37,107 What? I left my car on pet mode. 21 00:00:37,909 --> 00:00:39,646 Oh, well... Um. 22 00:00:39,646 --> 00:00:41,283 Hm. Actually, it's pretty cold in there. 23 00:00:41,316 --> 00:00:43,353 You're probably drying out the little guy's sinuses, 24 00:00:43,386 --> 00:00:45,290 so we'll let you off with a warning this time. 25 00:00:45,324 --> 00:00:47,595 But please don't do it again. 26 00:00:48,898 --> 00:00:50,333 Okay. Hi. 27 00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:52,070 This is my supervisor's number, 28 00:00:52,104 --> 00:00:54,108 and she's used to calls like this. 29 00:00:54,676 --> 00:00:58,684 ♪♪♪ 30 00:01:10,073 --> 00:01:13,213 And lastly, tonight is our annual trivia night 31 00:01:13,246 --> 00:01:16,319 and Bettany has graciously agreed to emcee. 32 00:01:16,352 --> 00:01:17,722 If there's any interest. 33 00:01:17,755 --> 00:01:20,996 I happen to have an amazing memory recall technique. 34 00:01:21,029 --> 00:01:22,197 Of course, I don't need it 35 00:01:22,231 --> 00:01:23,300 because I'm retired from trivia. 36 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:24,435 You're not retired. 37 00:01:24,435 --> 00:01:26,439 You were banned because you were cheating last year. 38 00:01:26,473 --> 00:01:29,212 I sincerely thought we were using lifelines. 39 00:01:29,245 --> 00:01:30,447 Then why did you crawl under the table 40 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:31,282 when you called your dad? 41 00:01:31,315 --> 00:01:33,320 The memory trick is called chunking. 42 00:01:33,353 --> 00:01:34,557 And if you want my advice-- 43 00:01:34,623 --> 00:01:37,328 Everyone, my sister Melinda is going to be at trivia tonight. 44 00:01:37,361 --> 00:01:38,698 I can't believe I didn't lead with that. 45 00:01:38,731 --> 00:01:40,467 I've been looking forward to this for weeks. 46 00:01:40,502 --> 00:01:42,171 Did she like my welcome basket? 47 00:01:42,204 --> 00:01:44,308 Yes, she did bring her own toothbrush, 48 00:01:44,342 --> 00:01:46,312 but she really appreciated the gesture. 49 00:01:46,345 --> 00:01:47,181 Well, I hope she's prepared 50 00:01:47,214 --> 00:01:49,485 to witness an All-American tradition. 51 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:52,091 Drunks arguing about minor facts. 52 00:01:52,091 --> 00:01:54,095 Fred and I will dominate trivia again. 53 00:01:54,128 --> 00:01:56,098 This man is a beast when victory is on the line. 54 00:01:56,132 --> 00:01:57,669 Hell, yeah. Out of our way. 55 00:01:57,702 --> 00:02:01,843 Except I ** gonna play with Isabelle this year. 56 00:02:01,877 --> 00:02:02,779 Wait. Really? 57 00:02:02,812 --> 00:02:03,547 Do you mind? 58 00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:04,315 Of course not. Why would I mind? 59 00:02:04,348 --> 00:02:05,618 You were dead weight last year. 60 00:02:05,652 --> 00:02:06,821 What? Not true. 61 00:02:06,854 --> 00:02:09,559 I dominated in pop culture, famous aviators, 62 00:02:09,593 --> 00:02:11,630 and, of course, American witches. 63 00:02:11,663 --> 00:02:12,899 And what if they ask about oceans? 64 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,703 Are you going to say it's just one big one again? 65 00:02:14,736 --> 00:02:16,540 There is only one if you think about it. 66 00:02:16,573 --> 00:02:18,309 But don't bait me, man. Okay? 67 00:02:18,343 --> 00:02:20,815 I'm bursting with competitive juices right now. 68 00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:21,717 Ready to blow. 69 00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:22,886 [both] Ew! 70 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:23,387 Do they know they're still pressing the radio button? 71 00:02:23,453 --> 00:02:24,957 Competitive juices. 72 00:02:24,990 --> 00:02:25,658 I'm just saying, you don't want to go there with me. 73 00:02:25,692 --> 00:02:26,627 I'm an Olympic-level athlete. 74 00:02:26,627 --> 00:02:28,731 I'm gonna turn into somebody you don't like. 75 00:02:28,764 --> 00:02:31,971 Uh, just to reiterate, this is a team-building activity. 76 00:02:32,004 --> 00:02:34,475 And in the time that we've taken to get off track, 77 00:02:34,543 --> 00:02:37,081 we've gotten about ten calls. So let's get back to work. 78 00:02:37,114 --> 00:02:38,383 Thank you. 79 00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:41,356 So, chunking, you take these big bits of information-- 80 00:02:41,423 --> 00:02:43,159 [Dispatch] Dispatch to Precinct 22. 81 00:02:43,192 --> 00:02:45,330 Please keep this line clear. 82 00:02:45,363 --> 00:02:46,867 Just like home, no one's listening to me. 83 00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:47,602 Hm? 84 00:02:49,471 --> 00:02:51,744 Hey, are you looking for a trivia partner? 85 00:02:51,777 --> 00:02:52,579 I'll do it. 86 00:02:52,613 --> 00:02:54,082 Oh, I'm not sure I want to participate 87 00:02:54,115 --> 00:02:56,520 in that chest thumping display I heard earlier on the radio. 88 00:02:56,554 --> 00:02:58,322 Oh, I know you want to beat them too. 89 00:02:58,356 --> 00:02:59,827 I see how you look at Isabelle. 90 00:02:59,860 --> 00:03:00,828 [chuckles] 91 00:03:00,862 --> 00:03:03,333 Okay. Maybe she's not my favorite person. 92 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:04,702 You know, just floating through life, 93 00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:07,508 eating the office Triscuits. Not a care in the world. 94 00:03:07,542 --> 00:03:10,046 Well and, you know, your thing for Shred. 95 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:11,583 My... [laughs] 96 00:03:12,384 --> 00:03:13,688 That's hilarious. 97 00:03:13,721 --> 00:03:15,490 I mean, clearly you've been preparing for trivia, 98 00:03:15,558 --> 00:03:17,562 because that is ancient history. 99 00:03:17,596 --> 00:03:20,100 But platonically, yeah, I'd love to give her 100 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,269 a big old reality check. 101 00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:22,572 Yeah, we would crush. 102 00:03:22,605 --> 00:03:24,643 I'm an autodidact. You can look that up later. 103 00:03:24,676 --> 00:03:26,379 And you seem like the type of person that knows 104 00:03:26,413 --> 00:03:27,749 all about the English line of succession. 105 00:03:27,782 --> 00:03:29,485 Oh, Prince George is hot on William's tail. 106 00:03:29,519 --> 00:03:30,286 And the Mountbatten line, 107 00:03:30,353 --> 00:03:32,257 I mean, don't even get me started. 108 00:03:32,291 --> 00:03:33,059 They're a mess. 109 00:03:33,126 --> 00:03:33,861 Yeah, it's all gobbledygook to me. 110 00:03:33,961 --> 00:03:35,998 That's why we make great partners. 111 00:03:36,032 --> 00:03:37,434 Um, yeah. Okay, let's do it. 112 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,338 But, you know, let's keep it light. 113 00:03:39,371 --> 00:03:40,307 It's supposed to be fun. 114 00:03:40,373 --> 00:03:41,877 Totally. We are going to rip their throats out 115 00:03:41,910 --> 00:03:43,947 and make them swallow their own throats. 116 00:03:45,651 --> 00:03:46,586 Lightly. 117 00:03:49,058 --> 00:03:51,495 ♪ 118 00:03:52,431 --> 00:03:53,567 The States have made you soft. 119 00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,137 No, it's more of an eating culture. 120 00:03:55,137 --> 00:03:56,106 It's good to overdrink 121 00:03:56,139 --> 00:03:58,410 before a trivia contest, it loosens the brain. 122 00:03:58,443 --> 00:03:59,646 [both] Don't be an egg. 123 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,719 Wow. Somehow in surround sound, I understand you even less. 124 00:04:02,752 --> 00:04:05,323 I'm loving the sister energy. I always wanted a sibling. 125 00:04:05,390 --> 00:04:08,263 I'm an only child, but I'm not looking for sympathy. 126 00:04:08,296 --> 00:04:11,369 I had Steven, he was imaginary, but very cool. 127 00:04:11,402 --> 00:04:13,875 Okay. Anyway, back to Melinda. 128 00:04:13,908 --> 00:04:16,478 Why do you look so fresh? Didn't you have jet lag? 129 00:04:16,513 --> 00:04:18,817 Oh, unlike this wild child, I have three kids at home. 130 00:04:18,851 --> 00:04:21,924 I just slept nine hours on the plane, I feel glorious. 131 00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:24,495 Long-distance flight. I never thought of that hack. 132 00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:25,765 All trivia teams, 133 00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:28,571 please report to your tables for skin inspection. 134 00:04:28,604 --> 00:04:30,474 We all remember how Patel 135 00:04:30,508 --> 00:04:32,578 wrote the periodic table on his forearm. 136 00:04:32,612 --> 00:04:33,981 That's...