its.always.sunny.in.philadelphia.s17e01.1080p.web.h264-successfulcrab[EZTVx.to] Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:17,317 [Ava] So, as you may recall, a little while back 2 00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:30,630 Turns out these clowns were up to a lot more than we knew. 3 00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:32,398 Welcome to Abbott Elementary, 4 00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:34,133 the best elementary school in the universe. 5 00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:35,768 What's the deal with all the cameras? 6 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:37,604 We have, like, a Vanderpump thing going on. 7 00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:39,272 - Don't worry about it. - No! 8 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,574 No. I think I'll be spending my time on the other side of the camera. 9 00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:43,276 - Thank you very much. - See? 10 00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:44,777 - Yeah, okay. - Totally get that. 11 00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:13,139 - [Dennis] What are we doing? - [Charlie] Go, go, go. Go. 12 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,308 [Frank] Close that door and lock it. 13 00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,510 - Okay. I g***t an idea. - [Dennis] Frank, 14 00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:19,612 let's not make this a whole thing, please. 15 00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,447 - [Mac] Just a quick in and out. - [Dee] The faster we get it done, 16 00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:22,782 - the better. - [Frank] I see an opportunity here. 17 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:24,484 [Charlie] How's a school an opportunity? 18 00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:28,655 [Frank] It's not just a school. It's a gold mine. 19 00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:29,482 then we could be outta here in a week. All right? 20 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,150 Look, I don't wanna get lice from one of these kids. 21 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,687 Did you guys know that Black people can't get lice? 22 00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:36,189 Dee, that's, like, crazy racist. 23 00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:37,423 No, no, no. That's just science. 24 00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:39,292 It's the lice who are racist. 25 00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:41,160 - [Dennis] All right. Hold on, hold on. - Racist lice? 26 00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:21,427 She's a dud. She's a giant dud. 27 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,596 But I have an idea: You follow me around, 28 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,331 make me the star of whatever this is, 29 00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:27,166 and I will make this s***t pop. Right? 30 00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:30,069 I'll steal her man. I'll expose her for the dud she is. 31 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:32,372 What do you think? Let's work together. 32 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,307 Huh? Oh. 33 00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,734 No. No. What are you [stammers] We're just doing the one thing, okay? 34 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,703 You guys are talking about five different things. 35 00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,371 For Christ's sake, you're all over the place. 36 00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:46,806 What talent? What you talking about? 37 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:49,042 Yeah. There's kids, like, that are taller than me. 38 00:06:49,043 --> 00:06:51,077 I say we recruit one for the basketball team at St. Joe's. 39 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,313 - No, no, no. - Dude. Great idea, man. 40 00:06:53,314 --> 00:06:55,582 - They've been sucking a***s, bro. - We are just doing the one thing. Okay? 41 00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:44,024 My mind was going to terrible places. 42 00:08:45,259 --> 00:08:48,194 Anyway, they g***t off that idea and bounced to the next one 43 00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,563 like one of those ADHD kids. 44 00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:53,199 The only thing I will say is, their coffee was fantastic. 45 00:10:57,558 --> 00:11:00,159 These people were passionate, but dumb as s***t. [chuckles] 46 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,096 'Cause at some point they argued themselves right into conspiracy theories. 47 00:11:03,097 --> 00:11:06,432 - So it had to be a hoax. - [Frank] Of course. Yes. 48 00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,735 I mean, steel would not melt at that temperature. 49 00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:11,671 I mean, take fire to steel and see if it melts. It won’t. 50 00:12:32,486 --> 00:12:34,487 - [Frank] This is good. - [Charlie] A little pitchy at times. 51 00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:36,356 - [Dennis] Very good singer. - Very nice. 52 00:12:36,357 --> 00:12:38,424 - He's a little pitchy, but it's fine. - Yeah? But [stammers] 53 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:41,361 My main concern is he's coming off like kind of a nerd. 54 00:12:41,362 --> 00:12:43,062 You know we've already g***t our nerd. 55 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:44,431 - We need a bad boy. - We do. 56 00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:47,333 Hey, Steven, would you say you’re a bad boy? 57 00:14:15,389 --> 00:14:17,357 Okay. She was right. 58 00:14:17,358 --> 00:14:20,093 Between fighting teachers, pissing in lockers and the boy band thing, 59 00:14:20,094 --> 00:14:21,427 I should have booted their a***s. 60 00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:23,463 Because that white woman was going in. 61 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:43,076 Knock, knock, knock. I've g***t a piping hot 62 00:15:43,077 --> 00:15:45,612 caramel macchiato for a Melissa. 63 00:15:45,613 --> 00:15:47,213 That's me. 64 00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:48,815 - Oh, there you are. - Thank you, Dennis. 65 00:15:48,816 --> 00:15:50,617 It's my pleasure. Absolutely. Hey, Go birds. 66 00:15:50,618 --> 00:15:52,218 - Go birds. - Hey, listen. 67 00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:54,053 Um, might I trouble you with a query? 68 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:48,808 Okay, I'm gonna stumble through one. 69 00:16:48,809 --> 00:16:50,610 Don't worry if you get it wrong. 70 00:16:50,611 --> 00:16:53,013 - Okay. Yeah. - Let's just try it for time. Okay? Um 71 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,214 Okay. And 72 00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:57,617 ♪ Caitlin Clark And Angel Reese ♪ 73 00:16:57,618 --> 00:16:59,586 ♪ Captain Sully hit some geese ♪ 74 00:16:59,587 --> 00:17:01,588 ♪ Marijuana legalized ♪ 75 00:18:07,421 --> 00:18:09,589 - Fair. Fair. - Yeah. That's a good question. Like 76 00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:11,224 So we realized that the kids don't know anything about 9/11 really. 77 00:18:11,225 --> 00:18:12,725 It's like a joke or a meme to them. 78 00:18:12,726 --> 00:18:14,494 And, like, "Never forget," you know? 79 00:18:14,495 --> 00:18:16,729 We said, "Never forget," and they seemed to have forgotten. 80 00:18:16,730 --> 00:18:19,232 I love this. I mean, I love this. 81 00:18:19,233 --> 00:18:21,401 Human beings have been educating one another 82 00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:17,590 - [Dee] Goddamn pricks! - Always a step ahead of us! Fuckers! 83 00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:19,559 I mean, the Ed Hardy jeans. 84 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:20,627 - The spiked hair. - [Dee] Yeah! 85 00:19:20,628 --> 00:19:22,629 [Mac] Plus the eyeliner! That was my look. 86 00:19:22,630 --> 00:19:23,630 - He stole it from me. - [Charlie] It was your look, Mac! 87 00:19:23,631 --> 00:19:25,632 That has been your look! 88 00:19:25,633 --> 00:19:27,434 - [Dennis] Goddamn Fall Out Boy. - [Charlie] This goddamn Fall Out Boy. 89 00:19:27,935 --> 00:19:29,436 I've g***t nothing for this. 90 00:20:18,686 --> 00:20:21,354 for every minute of content they could. 91 00:20:21,355 --> 00:20:23,823 It reminded me of that verse on DMX’s "What You Want." 92 00:20:23,824 --> 00:20:26,593 "There was Brenda, LaTisha, Linda, Felicia." 93 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,728 I wasn’t mad at it. It was a bop. 94 00:20:28,729 --> 00:20:32,065 Look, at the end of the day, did I like those people? 95 00:20:32,633 --> 00:20:33,633 No. I did not. 96 00:20:33,634 --> 00:20:35,335 But I will admit 97 00:21:11,605 --> 00:21:13,072 Yes, no. Fair. Um, yeah. 98 00:21:13,073 --> 00:21:14,707 Well, listen, we just wanted to let you know 99 00:21:14,708 --> 00:21:17,711 that our experience with you really touched us. 100 00:21:18,179 --> 00:21:21,748 You know, you blindsided us with your heart 101 00:21:21,749 --> 00:21:23,583 and your care for those children. 102 00:21:23,584 --> 00:21:25,551 And while Frank is sorry that he couldn't be here today, 103 00:21:59,653 --> 00:22:02,522 He must’ve ripped out about a hundred feet of copper. 104 00:22:03,390 --> 00:22:04,691 But on the bright side, 105 00:22:04,692 --> 00:22:06,492 the state was gonna make us move out some old pipes, 106 00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:09,429 so actually he saved us a few grand in construction costs. 107 00:22:10,063 --> 00:22:12,399 I’m gonna lose my job if anyone sees this, so burn those tapes.