Tales.Of.The.Unexpected.S09E10.Mr.Know-All.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-HypStu_track3_[eng] Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:49,050 Thank you, gentlemen. 2 00:00:49,330 --> 00:00:50,770 End this afternoon's lectures. 3 00:00:52,070 --> 00:00:52,670 Thank you. 4 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:04,690 Good morning. 5 00:01:04,950 --> 00:01:05,370 Good morning. 6 00:01:05,710 --> 00:01:06,530 I'm Max Killader. 7 00:01:07,090 --> 00:01:08,350 Professor Max Killader? 8 00:01:08,350 --> 00:01:09,350 That is quite right. 9 00:01:09,350 --> 00:01:11,250 If you'll just wait a moment, Professor, I'll 10 00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:12,670 tell the assistant manager that you're here. 11 00:01:12,830 --> 00:01:13,290 Thank you. 12 00:01:13,790 --> 00:01:14,890 Do you mind filling out one of these 13 00:01:14,890 --> 00:01:15,350 for me, please? 14 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:16,010 Not at all. 15 00:01:16,950 --> 00:01:17,650 Oh, Mr Cranley? 16 00:01:18,350 --> 00:01:19,410 Yes, it's Bates here. 17 00:01:20,070 --> 00:01:22,050 Yes, Professor Max Killader has arrived. 18 00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,430 Yes, sir, I'll do that right away, sir. 19 00:01:25,110 --> 00:01:26,750 The assistant manager will be with you in 20 00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:27,550 one moment, sir. 21 00:01:27,550 --> 00:01:28,250 Very good. 22 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:29,930 Are they tarts? 23 00:01:30,710 --> 00:01:31,410 I'm sorry? 24 00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:33,570 The girls, are they tarts? 25 00:01:33,850 --> 00:01:35,970 Oh, I believe the students, Professor, are here 26 00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:36,470 for the conference. 27 00:01:36,470 --> 00:01:37,550 Yes, yes, of course. 28 00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:39,110 Many of them are here for my lectures. 29 00:01:39,630 --> 00:01:41,190 This is a holiday resort. 30 00:01:41,450 --> 00:01:43,490 Surely some of them are lobby girls? 31 00:01:43,750 --> 00:01:45,090 Ah, well, I... 32 00:01:45,090 --> 00:01:46,090 Can I help? 33 00:01:46,450 --> 00:01:48,550 I hope so, sir, because the professor here 34 00:01:48,550 --> 00:01:49,070 has a query. 35 00:01:49,390 --> 00:01:50,590 Well, that's what we're here to answer. 36 00:01:51,130 --> 00:01:51,850 Professor Killader? 37 00:01:52,010 --> 00:01:52,470 That's right. 38 00:01:52,630 --> 00:01:54,690 I'm Jasper Cranley, the assistant manager of the 39 00:01:54,690 --> 00:01:54,930 Greenleaf. 40 00:01:54,930 --> 00:01:55,450 How do you do? 41 00:01:55,570 --> 00:01:56,030 How do you do? 42 00:01:56,030 --> 00:01:57,190 Now, how can I help you, sir? 43 00:01:57,530 --> 00:01:59,590 Well, I simply ask if some of these 44 00:01:59,590 --> 00:02:01,170 girls here were hookers. 45 00:02:01,610 --> 00:02:01,970 Hookers? 46 00:02:01,970 --> 00:02:02,070 Yes. 47 00:02:02,610 --> 00:02:03,730 What a suggestion. 48 00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:06,310 Why, Professor Killader, the Greenleaf is just about 49 00:02:06,310 --> 00:02:08,370 the most discriminating hotel on the island. 50 00:02:09,009 --> 00:02:11,150 These girls are graduate students, most of them. 51 00:02:11,690 --> 00:02:13,770 I can assure you our security would allow 52 00:02:13,770 --> 00:02:15,190 nothing off colour in the lobby. 53 00:02:15,650 --> 00:02:16,070 Really? 54 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:17,350 How depressing. 55 00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:20,750 Now then, we were expecting you yesterday, Professor. 56 00:02:21,190 --> 00:02:22,770 I was delayed in Tokyo. 57 00:02:23,470 --> 00:02:25,450 I tried to cable from Moscow airport, but 58 00:02:25,450 --> 00:02:28,210 you know how ludicrously inefficient the Russians are. 59 00:02:28,610 --> 00:02:29,410 Fifteen, please. 60 00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:31,050 Do I have a suite or a room? 61 00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:33,730 Why, Professor, all of our accommodation consists of 62 00:02:33,730 --> 00:02:35,970 studio suites, which are made up of a 63 00:02:35,970 --> 00:02:38,550 large living area, a terrace, with a jacuzzi 64 00:02:38,550 --> 00:02:39,390 equipped bathroom. 65 00:02:39,510 --> 00:02:40,470 Yes, yes, I understand. 66 00:02:41,230 --> 00:02:42,050 It's a room. 67 00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:45,070 I suppose Professor Medox of Yale has g***t 68 00:02:45,070 --> 00:02:46,150 the only proper suite. 69 00:02:46,150 --> 00:02:48,210 I can assure you, Professor, there is no 70 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,730 favouritism at the Greenleaf. 71 00:02:50,050 --> 00:02:52,290 All of you visiting archaeologists will receive the 72 00:02:52,290 --> 00:02:55,610 same high standard of personalised service and ultra 73 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,490 modern but gracious accommodation. 74 00:02:57,490 --> 00:03:00,670 Why are these called the Virgin Islands? 75 00:03:01,410 --> 00:03:02,350 I've no idea. 76 00:03:03,030 --> 00:03:04,510 Seems a trifle ominous. 77 00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:13,930 I'll have a maid bring up your whisky, 78 00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:14,270 sir. 79 00:03:14,430 --> 00:03:15,390 Are the maids available? 80 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,270 This is a decent hotel, Professor. 81 00:03:19,370 --> 00:03:19,690 Really? 82 00:03:20,510 --> 00:03:21,310 I'm sorry. 83 00:03:21,870 --> 00:03:22,470 I apologise. 84 00:03:23,450 --> 00:03:24,630 I guess it's just that I'm feeling a 85 00:03:24,630 --> 00:03:25,370 little bit jumpy, sir. 86 00:03:25,370 --> 00:03:28,030 You see, my wife's returning from Boston tomorrow 87 00:03:28,030 --> 00:03:30,290 with our little girl, and I'm always kind 88 00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:31,690 of nervous when they fly, sir. 89 00:03:32,770 --> 00:03:35,130 Still, Professor, it might save embarrassment if you 90 00:03:35,130 --> 00:03:36,750 would just remember that this is a conference 91 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:37,130 hotel. 92 00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:39,490 Curly, have this put up in the lobby, 93 00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:39,950 please. 94 00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:41,810 I'll have it attended to, sir. 95 00:03:41,810 --> 00:03:42,210 Thank you. 96 00:03:46,090 --> 00:03:48,030 So, Barnum's arrived, has he? 97 00:03:48,030 --> 00:03:49,350 Good morning, Professor Maddox. 98 00:03:49,350 --> 00:03:49,730 Morning. 99 00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:51,690 You've turned your lobby into a casino. 100 00:03:51,890 --> 00:03:52,170 Really? 101 00:03:52,170 --> 00:03:56,130 The greatest showman of archaeology does the Mortimer 102 00:03:56,130 --> 00:03:56,930 Wheeler stunt. 103 00:03:57,290 --> 00:03:58,850 People come up to him with a bit 104 00:03:58,850 --> 00:04:01,590 of pottery or such like, and he says 105 00:04:01,590 --> 00:04:03,770 what it is, what they are. 106 00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:05,550 Only he does it for money. 107 00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:08,450 He bets the customers $100 he'll get it 108 00:04:08,450 --> 00:04:08,710 right. 109 00:04:08,810 --> 00:04:09,590 Does he always win? 110 00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:11,890 No, not always. 111 00:04:12,070 --> 00:04:14,650 Merely a modest nine times out of ten. 112 00:04:14,890 --> 00:04:16,670 Just enough to make him a small fortune. 113 00:04:17,350 --> 00:04:19,690 But I think he does it mainly to 114 00:04:19,690 --> 00:04:20,450 impress the girls. 115 00:04:20,450 --> 00:04:21,310 I see. 116 00:04:21,490 --> 00:04:22,770 Is there a Mrs Colada? 117 00:04:23,370 --> 00:04:23,750 No. 118 00:04:24,550 --> 00:04:28,890 He's, shall we say, addicted to variety. 119 00:04:29,610 --> 00:04:32,230 If Max Colada sees a girl twice, he 120 00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:33,610 thinks the affair's getting stale. 121 00:04:33,830 --> 00:04:36,070 You mean he's a womaniser, a seducer. 122 00:04:39,610 --> 00:04:42,030 The Casanova de nos jours. 123 00:04:43,070 --> 00:04:44,490 You wanted to see me, Mr Cranley? 124 00:04:44,810 --> 00:04:45,450 I'm the roommate. 125 00:04:45,970 --> 00:04:46,410 Oh, yes. 126 00:04:46,550 --> 00:04:48,270 Aren't you the English girl, Ellie... 127 00:04:48,270 --> 00:04:48,910 Ellie Somerton. 128 00:04:49,150 --> 00:04:50,250 That's it, Miss Somerton. 129 00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:52,210 Are you here on a working vacation, Miss 130 00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:52,430 Somerton? 131 00:04:52,610 --> 00:04:53,310 Yes, I **. 132 00:04:53,830 --> 00:04:54,610 I need some sun. 133 00:04:54,790 --> 00:04:56,150 Going to medical school when I get back. 134 00:04:56,590 --> 00:04:56,990 Oh, really? 135 00:04:57,390 --> 00:04:58,850 I have a great respect for doctors. 136 00:04:59,410 --> 00:05:00,870 Would you please take a bottle of single 137 00:05:00,870 --> 00:05:02,310 malt whisky to room 15? 138 00:05:02,450 --> 00:05:02,710 Of course. 139 00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:03,890 And you take care now. 140 00:05:04,030 --> 00:05:04,810 Yes, Mr Cranley. 141 00:05:06,130 --> 00:05:07,270 What do you mean, take care? 142 00:05:07,990 --> 00:05:09,450 Oh, it's nothing to get upset about. 143 00:05:09,630 --> 00:05:11,150 Jeff, would you please put one in each 144 00:05:11,150 --> 00:05:11,530 room, please? 145 00:05:12,070 --> 00:05:13,850 It's just that sometimes some of our visitors, 146 00:05:14,650 --> 00:05:16,450 our gentleman visitors, they get the wrong idea 147 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,890 about our girls, if you take my meaning. 148 00:05:17,890 --> 00:05:19,670 You mean they assume we're cool girls? 149 00:05:19,770 --> 00:05:20,410 Oh, no, no, no, no. 150 00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:21,870 That's putting far... 151 00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:22,990 Yes, I guess that's it. 152 00:05:23,170 --> 00:05:24,270...