Clarksons.Farm.S04E02.1080p.HEVC.x265-MeGusta[EZTVx.to] Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,800 It was now late February. 2 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,640 Charlie and I were now both busy looking for pubs. 3 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:39,280 And as for the chuckle brother, 4 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,560 he was still on his nationwide tour. 5 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,880 Thankfully, Harriet was still around. 6 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:06,760 Today, building new pig pens 7 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,360 in preparation for the boar I'd hired 8 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:12,440 to make some new piglets. 9 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,480 And, with that done, 10 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:19,040 I turned up with the farm's perfume manufacturer. 11 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,600 Where's the boar? Not you, not you. 12 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:24,640 Harriet's bringing him down. 13 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:28,040 And then, he's going to service these three. 14 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,480 These are the ones we gave birth to in March. 15 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,400 They're nearly one! We can't get Ajax back, 16 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,160 you know, the boar from last year? 17 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,216 - Obviously not 'cause that's their daddy. - Exactly, he's their dad. 18 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,480 So we've g***t a new one and he's called Josca. 19 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,960 - And he's on his way now. - Josca. 20 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,520 He's going to service these three, 21 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:47,040 but we've g***t to get a move on, or he has. 22 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:50,080 We can have none of that "Oh, I can't get it in" behaviour. 23 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,680 Because if we want Christmas hams, which we do... 24 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:53,640 Yeah. 25 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,240 And we're already at the end of February, 26 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,960 and it's three months, three weeks and three days of pregnancy. 27 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:04,160 So I want him out of that, "porkscrew" deployed, 28 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:06,960 and ready for docking procedures. 29 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,000 Hey, Harriet. Morning. 30 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:11,520 I've brought you a pig! 31 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:12,920 Oh, you're big enough. 32 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:14,880 - Hello, Josca. - He's nice. 33 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,616 - Is he bigger than the last... - Yes, he is. 34 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,376 - Bigger than Ajax? He is. - Yes. 35 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,360 Come on, piggy piggy! Down we go, piggy! 36 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,416 - Now there's a bit of food. - Come on, Josca. 37 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:25,920 I don't want to distract him from the ladies. 38 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:26,880 Yeah. 39 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:30,456 This is what I want to see. 40 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,880 Come on, Josca. Let's have some action. 41 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:34,976 Let's have some "bébés". 42 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,120 He's frothing. 43 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,336 This is a one-night stand we're looking for here, mate. 44 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,880 Come on, hurry up, quicker. Get on with it. 45 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:45,720 Rotters Nightclub, Doncaster, 1978: keep that in your mind. 46 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,640 So I'm just... So, let me just... You reckon these are the girls? 47 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,240 Look on the bums and you can see the little... 48 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,960 Clitoris. Clitoris. 49 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:56,760 You can't! They don't have clitorises. 50 00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:59,280 Hey! I promise you, they do. 51 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,000 Pigs have clitorises?! 52 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,120 I didn't know that this morning. 53 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:14,560 There has been no morning in the last 63 years that I've known that. 54 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,896 - The little flicky bit? - Yeah? 55 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:19,200 That's the clitoris. And he says you can't see it... 56 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:20,936 - They all have them. Look at this one! - Oh Jesus! 57 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:22,800 He can't find it either, I can tell you. 58 00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:27,040 Why do they? Do they? I thought humans... 59 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,656 Do you not know what a clitoris looks like? 60 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:29,480 I know, I do. 61 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:30,640 Have you never found one? 62 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,920 - I know human girls have them. - You've never seen one? All animals... 63 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,200 - They don't. - It's the start of the vagina, love. 64 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:41,760 Yes, they do! Look, look, look, this one! 65 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,400 You can see the flick, the flick. 66 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,976 - See? It's a little bean. - "A little bean"! 67 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:48,616 - I can't! - You can! 68 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,360 It looks like a little... Oh. 69 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:57,880 To be honest, biology wasn't the main thing on my mind with the pigs. 70 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,440 My worry, along with all the other pig farmers in the area, 71 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,360 such as Richard and Vanessa... 72 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:04,520 Hi, Jeremy. 73 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:05,960 Good to see you. 74 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:07,840 - Well... - Not good, is it. 75 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,680 ...was that the local abattoir 76 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:12,600 had just shut down. 77 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,560 It's a very sad day for all local farmers. 78 00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:20,800 I did some research last night. 79 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:26,400 There are now only 49 local abattoirs left in the whole country. 80 00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:30,200 There were a hundred small abattoirs in 2007. 81 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,320 Then it was 60, and now there's 49. 82 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,560 And they say that by 2030, there won't be any. 83 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,320 The legislation from the government on abattoirs changes 84 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,320 every five minutes. 85 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,720 Makes it virtually impossible to run an abattoir. 86 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:44,680 Yes. 87 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,800 So all that farm-to-fork, you know, the government's gone, "Yes, farm"... 88 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:49,120 It's utterly crazy. 89 00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:52,840 Nobody local can buy our pork, nobody local can buy any local pork, 90 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,920 because we can't get it slaughtered locally, now. 91 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,800 All our pigs are now in one basket, so to speak, 92 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,040 and going to the supermarket. 93 00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:02,376 - But that's totally... - Yeah, but who's slaughtering them? 94 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,440 They go on a three-hour lorry trip. 95 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,360 So you just put yours on a huge great lorry 96 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,080 which goes off to an industrial slaughterhouse? 97 00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:10,120 Exactly. 98 00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:13,920 But when you've already g***t... I've g***t 39 ready to go next week. 99 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,800 Yeah, the cost of the lorry and the washing-out, that is just... 100 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,320 Exactly, it's all just too expensive. 101 00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:23,720 Oh, I don't know what to do. I've g***t to work out something for next week, 102 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,600 'cause they're all ready to go. 103 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:28,440 - Good luck. - Yeah, good luck. 104 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,960 Because my pig enterprise was quite small, 105 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:36,280 there was no way I could afford to hire my own lorry 106 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,160 to go to a far-away abattoir. 107 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:41,560 However, 108 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,960 I had to put that problem on the back burner, 109 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:48,840 because I needed to show Lisa a pub I'd found. 110 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:50,656 Have you g***t a business plan? 111 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,320 Yeah. You know an Irish pub, I'm not sure 112 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,480 it's the same now, but it used to be... 113 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:57,640 Well, you tell me actually, 'cause you're Irish. 114 00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,480 In Ireland, it seemed to me to be a pub 115 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:02,160 and then on the other side, you had like a village shop. 116 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:03,480 Oh, yeah! 117 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:07,080 The reason why they did that is 'cause all the men would get paid on a Friday, 118 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,480 "Would you get some bread and butter?" 119 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,920 And he'd go off with all his wages, go to the pub, 120 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:16,120 and drink it all and come home absolutely smashed and... 121 00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:17,376 And not buy the bread and butter. 122 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:18,240 No, forget everything. 123 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,840 So half of the pub was a little shop. 124 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,160 And as soon as the man went in, 125 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:27,400 the barman would take his shopping list, pack it all up, 126 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:30,336 take the money out and then give him the...