Clarksons.Farm.S04E01.1080p.HEVC.x265-MeGusta Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:09,920 Here we go. 2 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,400 No, cows, don't do that! 3 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:17,920 Get back, get back! 4 00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:19,160 Do you understand? 5 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,760 Get back. 6 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,400 I'm on my own, here. 7 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,160 Morning, pigs. 8 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:47,560 Stop! 9 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,280 I want to make it absolutely plain 10 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:02,080 that I'm absolutely thrilled to bits for Kaleb. 11 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:03,640 I'm not a socialist. 12 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:06,200 I want him to do well, I want him to make money, 13 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,800 I want him, one day, to be able to buy his own farm. 14 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:11,760 But 15 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:16,560 he has left me just a little bit in the lurch. 16 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,560 Good evening, Coventry! 17 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:25,040 Please give a huge agricultural welcome 18 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,920 to the farmer on tour. 19 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:30,280 All the way from Chipping Norton, 20 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:34,440 Kaleb Cooper! 21 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:50,600 Stop, no! Get off. 22 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:15,120 Welcome back to Clarkson's Farm, 23 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,800 where things have gone a bit topsy-turvy. 24 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,640 How are you doing, mate? You all right? 25 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:24,920 There we go. There we go. Pleasure. 26 00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:27,960 Kaleb is now in the spotlight. 27 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:29,560 There we go, look. 28 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:33,120 And I'm in the winter. 29 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,160 Outside, on the farm 30 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:38,720 Doing all the jobs, 31 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,640 on my own. 32 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,840 Come on, rise and shine. If I can get up, you can. 33 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:55,600 Come on. 34 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,880 Yeah, I know it's raining. Come on. 35 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:01,680 Please, come on. Please. It's freezing cold and soaking wet. 36 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:02,760 Come on! 37 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:06,040 Come on, out! 38 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:13,040 They say that one man 39 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,320 should be able to run 40 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:19,840 anything up to a thousand-acre farm on his own, and that's probably true, 41 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,360 if the man is competent and practical. 42 00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:26,600 It's also probably true if the farm is arable. 43 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,800 But this is mixed. I've g***t all the crops. 44 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,800 And I've g***t pigs, 45 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:33,440 and cows, 46 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:35,440 and sheep, 47 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,280 and goats, 48 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:38,960 and the hens. 49 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,160 Egg. 50 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:47,560 Good. 51 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,720 Yes, I'm shovelling s***t. 52 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:02,440 What's this? 53 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,440 Two and half tons of wild bird feed. 54 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:06,840 Why have Why is it 55 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,320 Charlie Ireland here. 56 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:12,520 Sorry, I can't get to the phone right now, but I'll call you back. 57 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:14,360 Here we go, goats. 58 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,400 Ah, ah, ah! 59 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:19,080 No, f***k! One's escaped! 60 00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:20,680 Two's escaped. 61 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:22,480 For f***k's sake. 62 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,160 Back, otherwise you're gonna be in an Indian restaurant. 63 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:26,640 Ah, ah, ah! 64 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,680 And sadly, Lisa wasn't around to share the workload 65 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:36,400 because she was away on one of her thin blonde Oxfordshire women projects, 66 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,120 learning how to make scent. 67 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,440 So you've g***t your top notes, 68 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,720 like oranges, like the bergamot, like the lemons. 69 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:49,280 And the middles are like the roses, the jasmins, the lavenders. 70 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:52,560 And then, you've g***t your patchouli, you've g***t your 71 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:55,600 You've g***t your musks, which are much deeper 72 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,600 Come on, pigs! 73 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,240 Oh no! Oh, God, no! 74 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,720 Oh, s***t. F***k. 75 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,080 F***k. 76 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,160 F***g hell. 77 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:14,600 Oh, God. 78 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,680 They've g***t 20 acres 79 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,280 And you've g***t 43 80 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,920 Now I've g***t a brand-new combine harvester 81 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:23,800 And I'll give you the key 82 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:28,920 Come on now, let's get together in perfect harmony 83 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:34,200 I've g***t 20 acres and you've g***t 43 84 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:41,040 No. 85 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:44,040 S***t. 86 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,880 And there is my quest, 87 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:56,360 clearing away Kaleb's soggy hay. 88 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:04,840 Up you come. 89 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,400 Oh, s***t 90 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:10,800 No! 91 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:14,760 For f***k's sake. 92 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:27,280 Bollocks. 93 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:28,680 Hi, Charlie. 94 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:33,360 Yeah. I was just wondering why we've g***t five bags of wild bird seed. 95 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,680 Ah! Erm-- 96 00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:37,240 We've g***t to do some supplementary feeding 97 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:40,400 under the Countryside Stewardship Scheme. 98 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:43,600 So What? Feeding the birds? 99 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:44,800 Yeah. 100 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:48,360 What do I put it into to make it bird feed? 101 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:52,560 Hello? 102 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:53,880 Hello? 103 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,480 Hello, can you hear me? Yeah? 104 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:57,600 Not really 105 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:06,080 So, the rest of the day, I've g***t to muck out the cows, 106 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:07,880 and in a little bit time, 107 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,000 I've g***t to collect more eggs. 108 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,840 And feed the goats, and feed the pigs again. 109 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:16,800 And then 110 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,320 Guess what I'm doing. 111 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:24,600 I'm gonna feed the pigs, feed the goats, collect the eggs. 112 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,280 And on top of all the animal husbandry, 113 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:29,960 we were now getting to that time of year 114 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:34,240 when I'd have to start thinking about planting the crops. 115 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:36,320 This is winter wheat. Yeah. 116 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,360 The durum wheat needs doing. Yeah. 117 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,960 Spring barley, that needs doing. Spring barley. 118 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:44,760 And it wasn't just the wheat and barley that needed sorting, 119 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,800 because the government had just announced all the exciting new schemes 120 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:52,680 that would replace the old EU subsidies. 121 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,800 And as Charlie explained, 122 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,280 this meant I'd have to plant new crops 123 00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:01,760 whose names were a blizzard of Whitehall gobbledygook. 124 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:03,320 This, 125 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,800 which is all the land around the farm shop 126 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:06,920 Yeah. 127 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,480 Is Herbal Ley SAM3. 128 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:11,960 Which sounds like a missile. Correct. 129 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,800 What's a herbal ley? 130 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,640 A herbal ley is a GS4. What? 131 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,640 Herbal ley is GS4. 132 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,200 The sustainable farming incentive. That's the SFI. 133 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,200 Yes. That covers the GS4. 134 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,680 That covers No. That 135 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:30,920 The SFI has a code of SAM3 for the herbal ley, 136 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:34,720 but Countryside Stewardship, which is another scheme 137 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:37,840 That's CSS HT. Yes, the higher tier, 138 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:39,400 which covers this. 139 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,040 So But I'm planting 140 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,920 It's a SAM3, but it's also a GS4. 141 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,000 And it's a herbal ley. 142 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:47,600 It is a herbal ley. 143 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,120 How many f***g meetings have Defra had to come up with this? 144 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,960 The bottom line was that the government would give me money 145 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,600 so long as I didn't grow food, 146 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:01,600 only stuff that would make the soil healthier. 147 00:09:01,800 -->...