A.Madea.Family.Funeral.2019.720p.BluRay.x264-GECKOS Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,074 All right. 2 00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:46,702 Oh, my God. 3 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:49,421 Come on. 4 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,177 Hello. 5 00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:56,971 Hey! 6 00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:59,757 Hey, sis! You made it. 7 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,967 - Oh, yes, I did. - Mmm! 8 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,895 - Hey. - Will, you look good. 9 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:06,598 Oh, I didn't know you were helping. 10 00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:08,774 - Yes, I wanted to. - Aw. 11 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,475 Renee has been right here, helping us with Mama and Daddy. 12 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:12,649 Oh, stop. 13 00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:14,488 What's up, what's up? 14 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,656 Ah. 15 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,655 Well, hey there, little brother. 16 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:19,780 - What's up? - Uh-huh. 17 00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:22,488 - You lookin' happy. - All right, all right. 18 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,415 I **. I'm engaged. 19 00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:27,789 - Oh, well, congrats! - Thank you. 20 00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:31,964 Yeah, she clearly ain't too fond of her. 21 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:33,801 - How'd you meet her? - She works with A.J. 22 00:01:33,802 --> 00:01:35,418 And he's not too fond of her either. 23 00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,966 Hey, congrats, man. 24 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,342 Thank you. 25 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,678 I'll tell you about it later. 26 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:43,509 I'm sure you will. 27 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,891 Wow, this looks great. 28 00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:47,437 Renee brought the flowers. 29 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,014 Oh! Mama's gonna love these. 30 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,109 She will. 31 00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:51,734 - Mmm. - Daddy, too. 32 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,062 Thank you so much for helping us, Renee. 33 00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:56,648 I would do anything for your mama and daddy. 34 00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:58,528 - I love 'em so much. - I know. 35 00:01:58,619 --> 00:01:59,859 You always have. 36 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,194 So, are you picking up the cake? 37 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:05,202 No. Uncle Heathrow said he g***t somebody to take care of it. 38 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,659 What? No. No way. Oh, no. 39 00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,790 - No. That's not happening. - What's wrong? 40 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,245 You know he's half-crazy. 41 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:12,580 I heard that. 42 00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:16,292 Uncle Heathrow! Who's picking up the cake? 43 00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:17,720 Don't worry about it. 44 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,521 I wanted to do something, so I g***t it covered. 45 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:22,386 Oh, okay. 46 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,642 We can't let him get that cake. 47 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,387 How about you pick up the crackers? 48 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,024 I'm bringing the cake. 49 00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:31,311 Let him do it. 50 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,563 It's their anniversary. It's too important. 51 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:34,860 Give him something to do. 52 00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,732 The cake will be sexually explicit. No. 53 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:40,111 You right, it will be sexually explicit. I want a old chick on a cat. 54 00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:41,909 That's it. 55 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,076 I'm calling Donovan. 56 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,870 Okay. We'll just have a backup. 57 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,489 Of course. 58 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:51,543 So, is this fiancée of yours coming to the anniversary party? 59 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:52,495 Yes. 60 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,546 Good. We'll get to meet her then. 61 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,044 That's right. Thank you. 62 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:57,295 And you, 63 00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:58,922 don't start with me, okay? 64 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,093 I won't. 65 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,716 Uh-huh. Or her, either. 66 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,135 Thank you. 67 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,302 You know, she's just always looking out for us. 68 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:10,013 I know. Sometimes too much. 69 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,432 Hey, somebody need to wash their a***s. 70 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,564 Did he just say that? 71 00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:17,941 Girl, you know him. He always says what's on his mind. 72 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,567 I don't know, he kinda funny. 73 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,400 When you jacked up like this, all you can do is laugh and hump, 74 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:25,111 - and screw. - Hey, Uncle Heathrow. 75 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,491 Hey. How are you? 76 00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:27,581 I'm good, 77 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,703 Okay, great. Who are you? 78 00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:32,160 I'm Sylvia, your granddaughter? 79 00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,621 And that's my husband, Will. 80 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,544 You just ruined a crippled man dream. 81 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,376 Oh! 82 00:03:41,096 --> 00:03:42,757 Is Madea and Joe here yet? 83 00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:43,963 You invited them? 84 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,593 Hell, yes, I did. 85 00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,925 This is supposed to be for family. 86 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,135 They are family. You married into this. 87 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,345 You are not family. 88 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,727 - You a in-law. - Yeah, they should be here. 89 00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:55,433 You know how Daddy feels about them. 90 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:58,019 Hey, they're still family. And they're funny. 91 00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,695 If you say so. 92 00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:02,739 Look, this is a special anniversary. 93 00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:06,114 Oh, anniversary is crazy. Don't ever get married. 94 00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:08,036 That's a waste of time. 95 00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:09,989 Well, uh, I'm getting married. 96 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,413 Oh, congratulations. What's his name? 97 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,827 I ain't gay, Uncle Heathrow. 98 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,663 Then why are your pants so tight? 99 00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,966 That's it. Get out. Out! 100 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,088 That's it, son. 101 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,796 Get out. Of the closet. 102 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:29,178 Look, I have a beautiful fiancée, all right? 103 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,011 And you will get a chance to meet her this weekend. 104 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,813 And I love her, just like you loved our grandmother. 105 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,891 I was so happy when she died. 106 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:40,728 Losing my legs was easier than dealing with her every day. 107 00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:43,063 And she smelled like sanitation. 108 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,740 Okay, stop that. 109 00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:46,066 Who are you calling? 110 00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,444 That better not be a drug dealer. 111 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,030 Hello. Yeah, I'm running low on my prescription. 112 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,364 I mean it! 113 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,409 What are you saying? 114 00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:58,166 You better get your a***s away from me 'fore I mess you up. 115 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,043 - Ah, goddamn. - Who that? 116 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,928 Oh, Lord. It's Heathrow. 117 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,596 That's our brother. Answer the phone. 118 00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:10,390 I don't like talking to Heathrow on the phone. 119 00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:14,345 - That thing he talk with vibrate my ears. - Okay. Mmm. 120 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,851 Make my ear about to have a o***m. 121 00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:18,432 Give me the phone, let me answer it. 122 00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:22,862 No, no, no. We don't wanna see or hear you have a o***m. 123 00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:26,157 Ain't that the truth. Ain't that the d***n truth. Not up in here. 124 00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,530 Still don't hear her have no organism. 125 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:31,408 Now, I don't know about that, Barn, you might not... 126 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,040 I might wanna see that. 127 00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,907 Joe. 128 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,117 That's Heathrow. Heathrow calling me again. 129 00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:38,452 Joe, go on and get the phone. 130 00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:40,663 I'mma put it on speaker 'cause I don't wanna... 131 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,998 - Hello? - Y'all on the way? 132 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:45,551 - Oh! - See how that feel? 133 00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:46,877 That do tickle. 134 00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,009 - Wait. - Don't even feel right, do it? 135 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,599 - Hello? - Oh, he can hear me. 136 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,341 That's making my n***s hard. 137 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,472 Oh, yeah, we over at Brian's house, 138 00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,895 waiting for him to get here so he can drive us over there. 139 00:05:56,982 --> 00:05:58,518 Why can't you drive yourself? 140 00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:01,066 I have some vibration going on. 141 00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,862 You know I ain't g***t no d***n driver license. 142 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,405 Ain't none of us g***t no driver license. 143 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,896 We can't drive that far here. 144 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,231 Well, I'm here....