The.Bernie.Mac.Show.S05E03.Marathon.Mac.1080p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng] Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:05,629 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:18,675 Hey, Nessa, 3 00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:20,135 what's your sculpture supplies 4 00:00:20,212 --> 00:00:21,145 doing in the trash? 5 00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:22,888 I was done with them. 6 00:00:22,964 --> 00:00:24,681 What you mean, you done? 7 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:26,808 I signed you up for ten classes. 8 00:00:26,885 --> 00:00:28,268 What you talking about, you're done? 9 00:00:28,345 --> 00:00:30,312 It was just too messy. 10 00:00:30,388 --> 00:00:31,772 I mean, the clay kept getting hard 11 00:00:31,848 --> 00:00:32,939 under my fingernails. 12 00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:34,024 BERNIE: Nessa, of course 13 00:00:34,101 --> 00:00:35,358 it's going to be messy, 14 00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:36,735 it's clay. 15 00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:39,529 You g***t another word for clay? Dirt. 16 00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:41,081 JORDAN: If she doesn't want them, I'll take them. 17 00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:44,242 There. Jordan's using the clay 18 00:00:44,319 --> 00:00:45,669 and everyone's happy. 19 00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:47,062 No, everyone's not happy. 20 00:00:47,139 --> 00:00:48,914 I'm still out of the money 21 00:00:48,990 --> 00:00:50,632 for the ten classes I paid for, 22 00:00:50,709 --> 00:00:53,177 that you begged me to take. 23 00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:55,012 Baby Girl, what's wrong with your omelet? 24 00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,047 I don't want anymore. 25 00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:58,340 That's it. From here on in, 26 00:00:58,416 --> 00:01:00,184 don't you all ask me for anything. 27 00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:02,135 I'm done. That's it. 28 00:01:02,212 --> 00:01:04,596 You all a bunch of quitters. 29 00:01:04,607 --> 00:01:06,306 Quitters! 30 00:01:06,383 --> 00:01:08,600 It's like a epidemic, America. 31 00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:10,068 Just look in my closets. 32 00:01:10,145 --> 00:01:12,813 They're filled with things them kids had to have. 33 00:01:12,889 --> 00:01:15,449 Needed. Couldn't live without. 34 00:01:15,526 --> 00:01:16,859 Nessa ice skates. 35 00:01:16,935 --> 00:01:19,027 Baby Girl's Change-My-Diaper Doll. 36 00:01:19,104 --> 00:01:20,904 Jordan, banjo. 37 00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:23,373 Ballet class. Piano lessons. 38 00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:25,909 These kids don't stick to nothing, 39 00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:27,494 and look at this, America. 40 00:01:27,571 --> 00:01:29,412 Surfboard. 41 00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:30,580 What... 42 00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:33,291 black boy you know surf? 43 00:01:33,368 --> 00:01:34,176 Huh? 44 00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:36,845 Bulldog. 45 00:01:36,922 --> 00:01:38,004 I missed you, man. 46 00:01:38,081 --> 00:01:39,180 How was your vacation? 47 00:01:39,058 --> 00:01:40,465 Actually, uh, Big Pop, I lied. 48 00:01:40,542 --> 00:01:42,300 I wasn't really on vacation. 49 00:01:42,377 --> 00:01:43,927 I, uh, I went someplace spiritual 50 00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:45,220 to do some soul-searching. 51 00:01:45,297 --> 00:01:46,721 Oh, some pilgrimage, huh? 52 00:01:46,798 --> 00:01:48,348 Where'd you go? South Jersey. 53 00:01:48,425 --> 00:01:49,599 I stayed with my college girlfriend. 54 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,184 You know, she was real hippy-dippy. 55 00:01:51,261 --> 00:01:52,269 You know, she smoked a lot of pot 56 00:01:52,345 --> 00:01:54,863 and she smelled like patchouli. 57 00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:56,231 You telling me you went to Jersey, 58 00:01:56,308 --> 00:01:57,774 all the way to Jersey for a booty call? 59 00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,693 Actually, no. She was my crisis counselor 60 00:01:59,769 --> 00:02:01,862 'cause I needed her help. 61 00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:03,446 Crisis? 62 00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:05,323 Jer, what the hell is going on? 63 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:06,950 So they, you know, they just--they thought 64 00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:09,452 they found a polyp in my, um... 65 00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:11,046 Oh, no. 66 00:02:11,123 --> 00:02:13,081 In my colon. 67 00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:14,191 So, you know, I thought, 68 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,375 I just thought I had the Big "C." 69 00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:17,469 Yo, but B-B-B, this is the thing. 70 00:02:17,546 --> 00:02:18,879 The thing is is that I was like, 71 00:02:18,955 --> 00:02:20,380 "Hello?" Epiphany. 72 00:02:20,457 --> 00:02:22,507 You know? It was like God was sending me a message. 73 00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:24,801 You know, he was saying, "Yo. JB, dawg, 74 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:25,927 it's time to get down. 75 00:02:26,004 --> 00:02:26,970 It's time to get-get, get on down 76 00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,438 and flip the script on life." 77 00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:30,274 I can dig it. 78 00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:31,541 I'm paraphrasing. But I'm-- 79 00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:32,709 I guess what I'm trying to say, B, 80 00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,644 is that there's g***t to be more to life 81 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,355 than squeezing 50 grand out of the studio. You know? 82 00:02:37,432 --> 00:02:39,399 That's... I want to start giving back 83 00:02:39,476 --> 00:02:41,484 to society, to humanity. 84 00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:42,903 Maybe you need to get more involved 85 00:02:42,979 --> 00:02:44,487 in that environmental stuff. 86 00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,364 Get yourself an electric car. 87 00:02:46,441 --> 00:02:47,541 Oh, hell, no. Hell, no. 88 00:02:47,618 --> 00:02:48,783 I still have three years on my Hummer, 89 00:02:48,860 --> 00:02:50,368 so that's completely out of the question, 90 00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:52,037 but, you know, I figure, 91 00:02:52,113 --> 00:02:54,089 you know, I'll know it when I find it. 92 00:02:54,166 --> 00:02:56,499 Well, when you do, you let me know. 93 00:02:56,576 --> 00:02:58,385 I'll be right there for you. 94 00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:00,670 Yes, ma'**, I know I paid 95 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:02,505 for ten classes in full, 96 00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:04,883 but I have a young niece who have a case of the quits. 97 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,843 WOMAN (over phone): I understand. So is there any way 98 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,011 I can get a refund? 99 00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:09,846 Or at least transfer the money 100 00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:10,847 to a different class, 101 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,015 more of an adult class? 102 00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:13,892 Like wine-tasting? 103 00:03:13,969 --> 00:03:15,852 Cigar appreciation? 104 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:17,229 And what is a lanyard? 105 00:03:17,305 --> 00:03:18,488 WOMAN: The (indistinct) 106 00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:20,857 Oh, I see. 107 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,117 You want to make a keychain? 108 00:03:22,194 --> 00:03:23,318 Mm-mm. 109 00:03:23,395 --> 00:03:26,029 Of course you don't. Quitter. 110 00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,497 Well, thank you for your time. 111 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,373 WOMAN (over phone): Good day! Bye-bye. 112 00:03:29,359 --> 00:03:31,501 Well, as you can see, I tried, 113 00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:35,080 and, uh, it g***t to come out of your allowance. 114 00:03:35,156 --> 00:03:36,498 My allowance? That's right. 115 00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,250 You didn't say anything about that, 116 00:03:38,326 --> 00:03:40,919 and you can't just make up rules as you go along. 117 00:03:40,996 --> 00:03:42,095 Sure I can, Nessa, 118 00:03:42,172 --> 00:03:43,880 and you know when I changed it? 119 00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,515 As we went along. 120 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:50,479 Mmm. WANDA: We need to talk about your nephew. 121 00:03:50,555 --> 00:03:53,181 Oh, my nephew? What I g***t to punish him for? 122 00:03:53,258 --> 00:03:55,183 I just g***t off the phone with Drew's mother. 123 00:03:55,260 --> 00:03:57,736 Uh-huh. Did you give Jordan clay? 124 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,274 Doggone Nessa. 125 00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:03,699 What happened? 126 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,786 Well, apparently he's making body parts. 127 00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:09,581 Male body parts. 128 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:13,451 Little sissy. 129 00:04:13,528 --> 00:04:15,078 I knew it was just a matter of time. 130 00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:16,413 I knew it was. I told you. 131 00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:18,257 You're the one that gave him the clay. 132 00:04:19,451 --> 00:04:20,750 Yeah, your Aunt Wanda told me 133 00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,127 what you been doing. 134 00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:24,170 If I see anything made of clay 135 00:04:24,247 --> 00:04:25,264 that I don't like, 136 00:04:25,340 --> 00:04:26,631 I'm gonna mold your head, you get me? 137 00:04:26,708 --> 00:04:28,341 So I can't make any more rockets? 138 00:04:28,418 --> 00:04:30,093 I better not see it. I'm gonna knock 139 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:31,636 the plaque off your teeth. 140 00:04:31,713 --> 00:04:33,430 BULLDOG: No way, Oliver. Come on, please. 141 00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:35,598 $5,000 is an insult. 142 00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:37,017 (chuckles) Okay. 143 00:04:37,093 --> 00:04:38,226 Yeah, $20,000's great. 144 00:04:38,303 --> 00:04:39,278 Ollie, 20--thank you. 145 00:04:39,354 --> 00:04:40,770 $20,000's great. Thank you. 146 00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:41,905 Okay. Bye. 147 00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:45,108 Yes. I just raised 20 Gs for Seeds of Peace. 148 00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,401 Well, what's...