The.Bernie.Mac.Show.S05E09.Prison.Break.1080p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng] Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:02,986 --> 00:00:04,586 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:17,727 --> 00:00:19,801 America, you know you ain't safe! 3 00:00:19,878 --> 00:00:21,511 Nobody's safe! 4 00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:24,473 They're in your neighborhoods, your schools, your home! 5 00:00:24,549 --> 00:00:27,726 Cold-blooded criminals. That's right. 6 00:00:27,803 --> 00:00:29,603 I'm talking about your children. 7 00:00:29,679 --> 00:00:32,448 They're public enemy #1. 8 00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:43,333 (dramatic music playing) 9 00:00:44,319 --> 00:00:45,869 Oh, check it out, check it out. 10 00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:48,121 There she is. 11 00:00:48,198 --> 00:00:50,540 JORDAN: Oh, Trina, she's beautiful. 12 00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:51,958 "She's beautiful." 13 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,877 Why don't you just marry her then? 14 00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:56,129 Because at my age It wouldn't even be a legal contract 15 00:00:56,206 --> 00:00:57,714 unless I went down to the Ozarks. 16 00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:59,591 But even then... Dude, dude. 17 00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:02,385 I dare you to go over and touch her butt. 18 00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:03,970 BOY: Yeah. 19 00:01:04,047 --> 00:01:05,138 Touch her booty. 20 00:01:05,215 --> 00:01:07,140 I can't do that. 21 00:01:07,217 --> 00:01:10,977 -I knew it. You're such a punk. -Chicken. 22 00:01:11,054 --> 00:01:13,105 Wait, wait, wait a minute. 23 00:01:13,181 --> 00:01:16,200 Okay, hold on. I'll do it. 24 00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:17,868 It's no big deal, right? 25 00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:19,528 Dude, it's easy. 26 00:01:19,604 --> 00:01:21,080 Okay. 27 00:01:22,190 --> 00:01:26,376 (Curtis Mayfield: "Little Child Runnin' Wild" playing) 28 00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:39,798 SISTER: I just wanted to remind you... 29 00:01:39,875 --> 00:01:43,644 Oh, my gracious! 30 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,854 Oh, no, no, not that to you! 31 00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:47,639 (students laughing) 32 00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:51,110 ♪ Runnin' wild ♪ 33 00:01:52,762 --> 00:01:56,356 ♪ Watch a while ♪ 34 00:01:56,367 --> 00:02:00,119 ♪ You see he never smiles ♪ 35 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:06,041 ♪ Broken home ♪ 36 00:02:06,118 --> 00:02:09,828 ♪ Father gone ♪ 37 00:02:09,905 --> 00:02:13,790 ♪ Mama tired ♪ 38 00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:17,961 ♪ So he's all alone ♪ 39 00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:20,213 Excuse me, Bryana. 40 00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:23,300 Yes, Father? All your other quizzes 41 00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:25,510 were signed "Bernard McCullough." 42 00:02:25,587 --> 00:02:28,930 But this paper here was signed, 43 00:02:29,007 --> 00:02:32,276 "Who ya wit? Bernie Mac." 44 00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:36,062 ♪ Little child ♪ 45 00:02:36,139 --> 00:02:39,158 ♪ Running wild ♪ 46 00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:42,161 You know what your problem is? 47 00:02:42,237 --> 00:02:43,737 I treat you too doggone good. 48 00:02:43,813 --> 00:02:45,864 Ever since you all came to California, 49 00:02:45,941 --> 00:02:49,293 especially you, Jordan, you done lost your doggone mind. 50 00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:52,120 You know better to invade a woman's personal space. 51 00:02:52,197 --> 00:02:53,797 Especially a nun! 52 00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:55,040 But... But nothing. 53 00:02:55,116 --> 00:02:57,000 Old freak pervert. 54 00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,419 I'm going to do to you what Big Mama would have done to me. 55 00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:01,171 I want you all to go to your rooms. 56 00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:03,632 And I mean don't do nothing. 57 00:03:03,708 --> 00:03:05,884 You better not even breathe heavy. 58 00:03:05,961 --> 00:03:08,345 I don't even want to see a smile. 59 00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:12,432 If you do, I better see a smile wipe right behind it. 60 00:03:12,509 --> 00:03:14,568 Now get on out of here! 61 00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:20,857 (dramatic music playing) 62 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,859 Hey, Uncle Bernie. 63 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,328 Hey, baby. 64 00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,529 I thought you were at a golf tournament all day. 65 00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:27,614 I was. 66 00:03:27,691 --> 00:03:29,366 I g***t called away. 67 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,409 Jordan and Baby Girl g***t in trouble. 68 00:03:31,486 --> 00:03:33,995 Really? Pfft, kids, huh? 69 00:03:34,072 --> 00:03:35,538 Mm. 70 00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:39,292 Say, what you doing home this time? 71 00:03:39,369 --> 00:03:41,044 I told you, Uncle Bernie. 72 00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:43,838 I g***t early dismissal for the college fair in Century City. 73 00:03:43,915 --> 00:03:47,050 You don't smell like you've been at no college fair. 74 00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:52,389 (sniffs) Matter of fact, you smell more or less like cocoa butter. 75 00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:54,900 G***t to keep my skin smooth. 76 00:03:57,012 --> 00:03:58,520 She's lying! 77 00:03:58,596 --> 00:04:00,397 She don't have to keep her skin smooth, America, 78 00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:01,990 'cause good black don't crack. 79 00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:04,243 But I'm going to crack her, because she didn't go 80 00:04:04,319 --> 00:04:06,069 to no college fair, America! 81 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,747 Bernie Mac is on the case. 82 00:04:08,824 --> 00:04:11,157 So, honey, you had to punish them all? 83 00:04:11,234 --> 00:04:12,417 Everyone except that evil one. 84 00:04:12,494 --> 00:04:14,119 She'll slip up, and when she does, 85 00:04:14,195 --> 00:04:15,370 she's all mine. 86 00:04:15,447 --> 00:04:17,372 Ah, if she's guilty. 87 00:04:17,449 --> 00:04:19,958 "If she's guilty"? 88 00:04:20,035 --> 00:04:21,626 Baby, I don't need no proof. 89 00:04:21,703 --> 00:04:23,161 Huh, my gut. 90 00:04:23,238 --> 00:04:25,764 Okay, I understand why you punished 'em. 91 00:04:25,841 --> 00:04:27,340 Ooh, honey, remember. 92 00:04:27,417 --> 00:04:30,018 Damian's fund-raising carnival Sunday. 93 00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:33,096 Of course, yeah. 94 00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:35,515 Honey, come on now. It's for the kids. 95 00:04:35,592 --> 00:04:37,100 And I'm the chair of the event. 96 00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:38,852 Hey, no worries, we'll be there. 97 00:04:38,928 --> 00:04:41,646 They'll be off punishment by then. Don't worry. 98 00:04:41,723 --> 00:04:42,864 Okay. 99 00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:51,915 All right, kids, chow time. 100 00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,783 (gasps) 101 00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:56,003 (breathes heavily) 102 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:14,313 (gaming gunfire and music playing) 103 00:05:17,175 --> 00:05:18,391 (door opens) 104 00:05:18,468 --> 00:05:20,310 He's coming out! 105 00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:25,449 (Inner Circle: "Bad Boys" playing) 106 00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:29,819 ♪ Bad boys, whatcha want? ♪ 107 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:32,572 ♪ Watcha want, whatcha gonna do? ♪ 108 00:05:32,649 --> 00:05:34,991 ♪ Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? ♪ 109 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:38,161 ♪ Bad boys, bad boys whatcha gonna do? ♪ 110 00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:39,746 See? 111 00:05:39,823 --> 00:05:41,790 When Big Mama would send me to my bedroom, 112 00:05:41,866 --> 00:05:44,626 that's all there was: a bed and a room. 113 00:05:44,702 --> 00:05:47,587 No, not these kids. They have too much. 114 00:05:47,664 --> 00:05:50,965 This here is like Martha Stewart-type prison. 115 00:05:51,042 --> 00:05:52,550 They need a hardcore prison. 116 00:05:52,627 --> 00:05:54,469 Lil' Kim-type, you know? 117 00:05:54,546 --> 00:05:56,179 I'm going to tighten up the reins. 118 00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:59,140 Huh, they now on lockdown. 119 00:05:59,217 --> 00:06:01,401 There's a new warden in town. 120 00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:06,490 (dramatic empty whoosh) 121 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,421 (organ plays a hollow note) 122 00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:25,083 Welcome to lockdown, Mac style. 123 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,460 And can you believe it comes to this, America? 124 00:06:27,537 --> 00:06:29,295 I had to lock these kids up. 125 00:06:29,372 --> 00:06:30,880 You can't just lock kids up. 126 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,382 I mean, Judge Mablean, 127 00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:33,716 I don't know what you're talking about. 128 00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:35,552 You don't know nothing about this. 129 00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:37,846 You're just a divorce court judge. Huh. 130 00:06:37,922 --> 00:06:40,348 Well, they don't just give you the job. 131 00:06:40,425 --> 00:06:41,933 I worked in the City Attorney's Office 132 00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:44,477 over five years as a child advocate. 133 00:06:44,488 --> 00:06:46,688 Did you read them their rights, Bernie? 134 00:06:46,764 --> 00:06:48,565 Did you give them due process? 135 00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:50,817 I don't know anything about no due process. 136 00:06:50,894 --> 00:06:54,696 The only rights I know, is up here is Mac rights. 137 00:06:54,772 --> 00:06:56,531 You better watch your tone. 138 00:06:56,608 --> 00:06:58,867 I'll throw you out of my court. 139 00:06:58,943 --> 00:07:00,577 I mean, Miss Honor, I don't know 140 00:07:00,653 --> 00:07:02,170 where the heck you think you at. 141 00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:05,039 But this is my house. My court. 142 00:07:05,116 --> 00:07:07,542 They just give kids to anybody these days. 143 00:07:07,619 --> 00:07:10,295 You had company here yesterday! Now come clean! 144 00:07:10,371 -->...