The. Bad. Guys. Haunted. Heist. 2024. NF. WEBRip Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:28,361 Long before The Bad Guys terrified the city, 2 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:29,779 hacking, 3 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:31,865 disguising, 4 00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:33,992 lockpicking, 5 00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:37,996 and fighting our way to the top of the crime world... 6 00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:42,959 ...there lived a maniacal, legendary, fiend of a crook. 7 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:46,254 His name was Reginald E. Scary, 8 00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:49,966 and Scary loved loot more than anything in the whole wide world. 9 00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:52,927 But Scary prized one item over all the rest. 10 00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:55,889 One of the oldest pieces of loot in existence. 11 00:00:55,972 --> 00:00:58,600 Empires were built on it, wars fought over it, 12 00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:00,977 croissants shaped after it. 13 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,729 The Crescent Amulet. 14 00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:06,191 Over time, he grew paranoid that somebody would steal from him, 15 00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:07,817 the way he stole from others. 16 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,319 He locked himself in, 17 00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:11,905 spending his final days cuddling, adoring, 18 00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:13,907 obsessing over the amulet. 19 00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:16,910 And he made one final vow before dying. 20 00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:22,290 If anyone dared steal a single piece of his legendary loot, 21 00:01:22,373 --> 00:01:23,458 he'd haunt them... 22 00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:25,251 forever! 23 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:36,429 All right, guys, what do you think? It's the perfect Halloween heist. 24 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,681 You want to rob Reginald E. Scary's mansion? 25 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:39,891 Uh, no way. 26 00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:42,393 This is just another one of your excuses to scare us, 27 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,229 like you always do on Halloween. 28 00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:46,689 When have I ever done that? 29 00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:51,486 {\an8}Stealing a mummy's loot on Halloween. 30 00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:54,197 Great idea, Wolf. Wolf? 31 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,282 I bet this thing is loaded with booty. 32 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,951 Boo! 33 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:02,914 Uh-uh! Don't say anything. We're far from done. 34 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:07,585 {\an8}Ah. I love a pre-Halloween-heist latte. 35 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,755 Eyeball?! 36 00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:12,966 Oh, I g***t you so good! 37 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,678 And then, there was last year. 38 00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:21,683 {\an8}- Careful! - Don't worry. I g***t this 39 00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:24,352 There's no laser I can't dodge. 40 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:26,521 Ha-ha! G***t it. 41 00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,110 Ha-ha! Gotcha! 42 00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:35,613 Okay. 43 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:39,659 {\an8}So, maybe I can't help myself sometimes. This year will be different, I promise. 44 00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:42,412 No one's ever stolen from Reginald E. Scary's mansion, 45 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:45,540 {\an8}so pulling it off on Halloween would show the whole crime world 46 00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:47,876 that The Bad Guys aren't afraid of anything. 47 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,712 {\an8}Wouldn't it be more fun to stick around here 48 00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:53,381 {\an8}and hand out broccoli to unsuspecting trick-or-treaters? 49 00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:56,426 {\an8}Oh, I love doing that. 50 00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,845 They're all, "Thanks for the candy, mister... 51 00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:00,555 Huh? Broccoli?" 52 00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:02,765 And we're all, "Get out of here, shrimp!" 53 00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:06,060 {\an8}The amulet is some legendary loot, 54 00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:08,187 {\an8}but the stories, the lore... 55 00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:11,774 What if the ghost of Reginald E. Scary shows up and causes trouble? 56 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,402 You can't punch a ghost! That's a scientific fact. 57 00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:17,906 Oh, come on! You guys don't believe that stuff, do you? 58 00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:18,990 I don't know. 59 00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:22,201 Westside Wallabies tried to rob this place and were never seen again. 60 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,536 Rumors. 61 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:24,913 I bet they botched the heist 62 00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:27,832 and used the legend to skip town and save face. 63 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:30,001 Guys, I know I've fooled around in the past, 64 00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:32,253 but this loot is too legit for pranks. 65 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,337 You in? 66 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,340 It would be a primo steal. 67 00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:39,385 The only thing better than a croissant is a big, old gem shaped like one. 68 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:42,472 I can play the role of someone who isn't scared. 69 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,390 Yeah, obviously, we're in. 70 00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,651 Uh, I-I'll stand lookout by the car, 71 00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:58,905 w-while you search this very not scary, definitely not haunted mansion. 72 00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:00,198 Aw, man! 73 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:03,576 But I'm already disguised as the lookout. 74 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,912 Guess we'll both have to do it. Bummer. 75 00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,039 We don't need a lookout. Come on. 76 00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:11,668 Now, Scary built this place as a fortress against thieves. 77 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,420 These gates aren't gonna open themselves... 78 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,259 Huh. L-Lucky gust of wind. 79 00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,078 Ooh! 80 00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:50,039 Scary used offset pins on the lock. Notoriously tough to crack. 81 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,334 But to a boxman like me, it's like dining on caviar. 82 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:13,980 And no Wi-Fi. Not sure this heist needs a hacker. 83 00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:16,149 ...this heist needs a hacker. 84 00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:18,860 Uh, is the creepy echo mocking me? 85 00:05:18,943 --> 00:05:21,070 Is the creepy echo mocking me? 86 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:22,697 It's just an echo. 87 00:05:23,197 --> 00:05:25,575 Then how come your voice isn't echoing? 88 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:28,286 ...your voice... echoing. 89 00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:31,956 Come on, we gotta find the crypt where legend says Scary died with the amulet. 90 00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:49,766 Guys, it's a statue! 91 00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:56,147 Ew! 92 00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:58,483 Tidy up after yourselves, spiders! 93 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:04,489 Humans have the weirdest heads. I'll never get used to 'em. 94 00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:06,699 Look at this. It's him. 95 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,580 The creep's eyes are following me. 96 00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,083 It's an optical illusion. 97 00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:17,168 Emphasis on "illusion." 98 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,670 Aha! Let there be light. 99 00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,547 Not so spooky with the lights on. 100 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:25,468 Huh. Place could really use a dusting. 101 00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:27,386 Haunted piano! 102 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:31,099 - I'm out. - This music... I can't take it! 103 00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,937 It's not haunted. It's just a player piano. 104 00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:39,107 You know, where you crank it up and it plays automatically? 105 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,776 Ha! Yeah, bro. Can't believe you g***t scared of that. 106 00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:44,403 Hey, ghouls, take the big fish! 107 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,030 - There's more meat on him! - Hey! 108 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,241 It's worse than the music! 109 00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:49,242 Nuh-uh. No. 110 00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:51,702 The furnace must have turned on with the lights. See? 111 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,454 I thought we were The Bad Guys, 112 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:57,542 not the "scared by every little thing that goes bump in the night guys." 113 00:06:57,625 --> 00:06:59,043 Let's focus. 114 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,504 If Scary really did hide his amulet in a crypt, 115 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,756 he probably hid the access to it as well. 116 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,926 That's what I'd do. I'd never pose in chiaroscuro. So tacky. 117 00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,177 Wait a minute. 118 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,679 The portrait. 119 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,514 "My loot you'll never claim, 120 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:14,183 as hidden as my name." 121 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,101 Huh. 122 00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:17,812 Reginald E. Scary... 123 00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:19,897 Reginald E. Scary... 124 00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:23,526 - The heck? - What is it? 125 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,279 Oh, sorry. I had a thought. 126 00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:28,030 G***t a little excited. 127 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:31,075 What if the "E" in the dude's name represented a musical note? 128 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,494 Maybe it's some secret key that will open the crypt. 129 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:36,038 I went deep undercover for that jazz heist, remember? 130 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:39,083 I'll play something in E. Jazz heists. 131 00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:42,128 It's the loot you don't steal as much as the loot you do. 132 00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:50,970 This must be the way to the crypt. 133 00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:57,143 Ha-ha. Funny, Wolf. 134 00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:59,437 But you promised. No spooky pranks. 135 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:00,563 I'm not doing it. 136 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,387 It's moving on its own! 137 00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:43,022 Uh, I've never met these intruders before! 138 00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:45,106 I'm on your side. 139 00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:49,904 Wait a minute. 140 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:53,907 Hey! 141 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:57,828 - My friend here dares you to battle him. - No, I don't! 142...