The.Absent.Minded.Professor.1961.720p.BluRay.x264-[YTS.AG].en Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:06,836 --> 00:00:09,236 Energy takes on many forms. 2 00:00:09,305 --> 00:00:11,899 Example. What do we know of acoustical energy? 3 00:00:11,975 --> 00:00:15,536 It was discovered by a famous scientist, right? Wrong. 4 00:00:15,612 --> 00:00:17,375 We must give credit to an Italian 5 00:00:17,447 --> 00:00:20,939 who one night was singing an aria in a Milano pizza parlor. 6 00:00:21,017 --> 00:00:22,075 You know the story. 7 00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:25,315 How he hit a high note and the sound waves shattered a glass 8 00:00:25,388 --> 00:00:27,322 on the other side of the room? 9 00:00:27,390 --> 00:00:30,723 Watch me, and I will show you acoustical energy at work. 10 00:00:33,363 --> 00:00:36,127 [Plays note] 11 00:00:36,199 --> 00:00:39,327 [Plays higher note] 12 00:00:39,402 --> 00:00:42,701 [Plays higher note] 13 00:00:42,772 --> 00:00:46,640 [Plays higher note] 14 00:00:46,709 --> 00:00:51,544 [Plays higher note] 15 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:59,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 16 00:02:21,070 --> 00:02:26,667 Now, your next assignment will be... 17 00:02:29,145 --> 00:02:30,874 Oh, I forgot. 18 00:02:30,947 --> 00:02:32,414 There'll be no assignment. 19 00:02:32,482 --> 00:02:33,915 See you next week. 20 00:02:51,267 --> 00:02:52,359 Here we are. 21 00:02:52,435 --> 00:02:54,027 The beginning of the end. 22 00:02:54,103 --> 00:02:55,570 Point of no return. 23 00:02:55,638 --> 00:02:56,627 The last mile. 24 00:02:56,706 --> 00:02:58,606 Now, Shelby. 25 00:02:58,675 --> 00:03:00,199 All right. 26 00:03:02,578 --> 00:03:05,308 "Of all sad words of tongue and pen, 27 00:03:05,381 --> 00:03:08,111 the saddest are these. "It might have been." 28 00:03:08,184 --> 00:03:10,550 Shelby, you promised. Now stop. 29 00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:12,315 Did I promise to stop loving you? 30 00:03:12,388 --> 00:03:14,913 Open the door and let me out. 31 00:03:14,991 --> 00:03:17,050 Suppose he doesn't show up this time. 32 00:03:17,126 --> 00:03:19,185 Oh, Reverend, how nice to see you. 33 00:03:19,262 --> 00:03:21,753 You must be getting tired of my wedding. 34 00:03:21,831 --> 00:03:24,322 Third time's the charm, they say. 35 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,368 But I ** glad that this time 36 00:03:26,436 --> 00:03:28,427 you brought the bridegroom with you. 37 00:03:28,504 --> 00:03:30,699 At last we meet, Professor Brainard. 38 00:03:30,773 --> 00:03:34,004 No, this is Professor Ashton. He's Romance Languages. 39 00:03:34,077 --> 00:03:36,545 Professor Brainard is Physical Chemistry. 40 00:03:36,612 --> 00:03:39,877 Oh, dear me, I seem to have made a mistake. 41 00:03:39,949 --> 00:03:43,077 Not you, sir. It's Miss Carlisle's mistake. 42 00:03:43,152 --> 00:03:46,212 I've just been trying to talk her out of this blunder. 43 00:03:46,289 --> 00:03:48,723 Shelby, you are speaking of the man I love. 44 00:03:48,791 --> 00:03:51,589 Love, darling, is a bouquet of fragrant hyacinths. 45 00:03:51,661 --> 00:03:53,993 Not a beaker of hydrogen. ** I right, sir? 46 00:03:54,063 --> 00:03:58,329 I merely perform the service. I don't take sides. 47 00:03:58,401 --> 00:03:59,333 WOMAN: Betsy! 48 00:03:59,402 --> 00:04:01,802 Well, well, here comes the bride. 49 00:04:01,871 --> 00:04:03,634 - Reverend. - Good evening, sir. 50 00:04:03,706 --> 00:04:06,197 Professor Ashton from Rutland University. 51 00:04:06,275 --> 00:04:08,243 Aren't you on the wrong campus? 52 00:04:08,311 --> 00:04:10,404 Miss Carlisle invited me. 53 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:11,970 Yes, yes, I remember. 54 00:04:12,048 --> 00:04:15,347 There was talk that you were a contender for Betsy's hand. 55 00:04:15,418 --> 00:04:17,283 Rutland can't win them all. 56 00:04:17,353 --> 00:04:20,447 Oh, it was so sweet of you to go to all this trouble. 57 00:04:20,523 --> 00:04:22,115 And for the third time, too. 58 00:04:22,191 --> 00:04:24,386 Well, you know, third time's the charm. 59 00:04:24,460 --> 00:04:26,428 That's exactly what I just said. 60 00:04:26,496 --> 00:04:29,465 I'm sick of having a spinster for a secretary. 61 00:04:29,532 --> 00:04:32,228 I better change. The guests will be coming soon. 62 00:04:32,301 --> 00:04:34,360 The bridegroom, too, I hope. 63 00:04:34,437 --> 00:04:36,371 I've alerted his housekeeper. 64 00:04:36,439 --> 00:04:38,202 She'll see that he gets here. 65 00:04:38,274 --> 00:04:40,936 [Humming Wagner's "Bridal Chorus"] 66 00:04:43,980 --> 00:04:49,418 # The ring is in your right-side pocket # 67 00:04:53,723 --> 00:04:54,951 Professor! 68 00:04:55,024 --> 00:04:57,492 Professor Brainard! 69 00:04:58,628 --> 00:05:00,960 [Humming Wagner's "Bridal Chorus"] 70 00:05:05,668 --> 00:05:10,002 # Square root of "E" minus "C," alpha "G" # 71 00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:15,609 [Fluctuating tone] 72 00:05:17,346 --> 00:05:18,973 No. 73 00:05:19,048 --> 00:05:21,016 No, don't stop. 74 00:05:21,083 --> 00:05:23,142 Don't stop. Keep going. 75 00:05:23,219 --> 00:05:24,948 Keep going. 76 00:05:25,021 --> 00:05:26,818 Please don't stop. 77 00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:39,696 Oh, not again. 78 00:05:39,769 --> 00:05:40,463 Professor? 79 00:05:40,536 --> 00:05:42,436 # Bum bum-bum-bum # 80 00:05:42,505 --> 00:05:44,097 Time for you to get dressed. 81 00:05:44,173 --> 00:05:47,301 Just five more minutes, Mrs. Chatsworth. 82 00:05:47,376 --> 00:05:50,072 Professor, well, heavens, what are you doing? 83 00:05:50,146 --> 00:05:53,047 I'm trying to solve the secrets of the universe. 84 00:05:53,115 --> 00:05:55,379 And failing. Failing miserably. 85 00:05:55,451 --> 00:05:57,817 You're stopping. Do you know what time it is? 86 00:05:57,887 --> 00:05:59,946 You've been working all afternoon. 87 00:06:00,022 --> 00:06:03,048 Mrs. Chatsworth, I've been working for three months. 88 00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:04,183 Pardon me. 89 00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:06,854 I've been working on something very important. 90 00:06:06,929 --> 00:06:10,387 More important, I suppose, than getting married? 91 00:06:12,668 --> 00:06:16,502 Oh! Mrs. Chatsworth, I don't know what I'd do without you. 92 00:06:16,572 --> 00:06:18,563 Oh, you're getting a wonderful girl. 93 00:06:18,641 --> 00:06:20,700 If you ask me, she's too good for you. 94 00:06:20,776 --> 00:06:23,711 Thanks, Mrs. Chatsworth. I love you, too. 95 00:06:23,779 --> 00:06:25,178 Don't worry about a thing. 96 00:06:25,248 --> 00:06:27,910 I'll be in in the morning to feed the dog. 97 00:06:27,984 --> 00:06:31,442 - What's the matter with me? - Is anything wrong? 98 00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:34,513 What a lunkhead. Instead of minus, it should be plus. 99 00:06:34,590 --> 00:06:38,219 So, the molecular configuration of "A"... 100 00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,694 ...is almost the same as that of "B." 101 00:06:45,768 --> 00:06:47,827 Therefore, if I don't worry about "A" 102 00:06:47,904 --> 00:06:49,735 throwing off free hydrogen, 103 00:06:49,805 --> 00:06:53,400 it could stand a few degrees more centigrade. 104 00:06:53,476 --> 00:06:57,412 Remember, I promised that sweet girl I'd have you there on time. 105 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:58,640 Yes, Mrs. Chatsworth. 106 00:06:58,714 --> 00:07:01,774 And, Professor, may I say happy honeymoon? 107 00:07:01,851 --> 00:07:04,046 You certainly may, Mrs. Chatsworth. 108 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,781 And the same to you. 109 00:07:07,323 --> 00:07:10,554 Miscalculation has been staring me in the face for weeks. 110 00:07:10,626 --> 00:07:12,526 Can't see the forest for the trees. 111 00:07:12,595 --> 00:07:14,222 Right, Charlie? 112 00:07:19,402 --> 00:07:23,099 All right, Charlie. Cross your fingers. 113 00:07:36,619 --> 00:07:39,110 Now. Good. 114 00:07:39,188 --> 00:07:40,746 Good. 115 00:07:40,823 --> 00:07:42,484 Very good. 116 00:07:42,558 --> 00:07:45,186 182. That's good. 117 00:07:46,462 --> 00:07:47,827 Yes. 118 00:07:50,366 --> 00:07:51,799 Yes. 119 00:08:14,056 --> 00:08:16,183 Now we're cooking, Charlie! 120 00:08:20,196 --> 00:08:22,357 We may be in business yet! 121 00:08:26,369 --> 00:08:28,701 [Humming Wagner's "Bridal Chorus"] 122 00:08:53,863 --> 00:08:55,524 [Ringing] 123 00:09:00,803 --> 00:09:03,328 WOMAN: It's just awful. Poor darling. 124 00:09:03,406 --> 00:09:04,998 What ails the man? 125 00:09:05,074 --> 00:09:07,542 Missing his own wedding three times. 126 00:09:07,610 --> 00:09:09,100 He might still show up. 127 00:09:09,178 --> 00:09:12,375 You know the old saying. Third time's the charm. 128 00:09:12,448 --> 00:09:15,576 I say three strikes and you're out! 129 00:09:15,651 --> 00:09:17,346 Thank you all for coming. 130 00:09:17,420 --> 00:09:19,149 I'll return your presents. 131 00:09:19,221 --> 00:09:21,416 I hope you can get your money back. 132 00:09:21,490 --> 00:09:22,479 I'm sorry. 133 00:09:22,558 --> 00:09:24,856 After all the trouble you've gone to. 134 00:09:24,927 --> 00:09:28,055 I'll be at the office at the usual time in the morning. 135 00:09:28,130 --> 00:09:29,290 I want to go on as if nothing has happened. 136 00:09:30,599 --> 00:09:33,534 Shelby, I don't seem to have an escort. 137 00:09:33,602 --> 00:09:35,069 Would you mind waiting? 138 00:09:35,137 --> 00:09:37,264 I'm yours to command. 139 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,345 Oh, Betsy. 140...