S12 E21：DC Takeover & MAHA： 8⧸17⧸25： Last Week Tonight with John Oliver [E02gokpa7Ug] Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:02,960 Bye. 2 00:00:32,460 --> 00:00:37,060 Thank you so much for joining us. It has been a busy week. California Democrats 3 00:00:37,060 --> 00:00:40,340 unveiled their new congressional map. Air Canada flight attendants went on 4 00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:43,960 strike. And Trump flew to Alaska to talk to Putin about Ukraine for less than 5 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:44,939 three hours. 6 00:00:44,940 --> 00:00:48,580 Afterwards, they held a press conference that went so badly, even this Fox News 7 00:00:48,580 --> 00:00:51,100 reporter couldn't put a positive spin on it. 8 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:55,940 The way that it felt in the room was not good. 9 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,700 It did not seem like things went... 10 00:00:58,910 --> 00:01:02,870 well, and it seemed like Putin came in and steamrolled, g***t right into what he 11 00:01:02,870 --> 00:01:06,350 wanted to say, and g***t his photo next to the president and then left. 12 00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:10,730 Yeah, not great. And while the White House later released this black and 13 00:01:10,730 --> 00:01:14,490 photo of Trump looking tough while talking to Putin, it does seem like the 14 00:01:14,490 --> 00:01:19,310 was more accurately summed up by this AP photo of Putin looking confident and 15 00:01:19,310 --> 00:01:22,750 Trump looking like that room temperature shrimp is coming back up. 16 00:01:23,690 --> 00:01:26,990 Meanwhile, back in D .C., this story dominated the week. 17 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:31,400 For the first time in American history, the president seizing control of the 18 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:35,620 police in the nation's capital and deploying hundreds of National 19 00:01:35,740 --> 00:01:40,760 Trump says, to fight crime on the streets of Washington, D .C. I'm 20 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:47,200 historic action to rescue our nation's capital from crime, bloodshed, bedlam 21 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,120 squalor and worse. 22 00:01:49,380 --> 00:01:50,880 Yeah, and worse. 23 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:56,460 Trump has taken over DC's police department and deployed the National 24 00:01:56,460 --> 00:02:00,880 well as pulling in agents from the FBI, DEA, Homeland Security and others who 25 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:05,680 flooded the city. At one point, marching through Georgetown where one guy exited 26 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:10,840 a bar with a real look of, oh s***t, I ** not dressed for a military invasion 27 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:11,840 right now. 28 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:16,700 And all the while, Republicans have tried to justify this move by talking 29 00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:19,180 what a crime -ridden hellhole DC is. 30 00:02:19,780 --> 00:02:21,460 DC is not safe. 31 00:02:22,220 --> 00:02:26,480 People don't just walk the streets in D .C. and feel safe anywhere around D .C. 32 00:02:26,540 --> 00:02:31,100 I drive around in Washington, D .C. in my Jeep, and yes, I do drive myself, and 33 00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:34,280 I don't buckle up. And the reason why I don't buckle up, and people can say 34 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:37,300 whatever they want to, they can raise their eyebrows at me again, is because 35 00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:40,140 carjacking. You don't want to go out on the streets at night in Washington, D 36 00:02:40,140 --> 00:02:43,240 .C. I come from a family of public educators. 37 00:02:43,660 --> 00:02:46,980 That's one of the reasons I live in my office at night. But the other reason is 38 00:02:46,980 --> 00:02:49,020 it's too dadgum dangerous, brother. 39 00:02:49,780 --> 00:02:50,780 Okay. 40 00:02:51,230 --> 00:02:55,210 A lot of questions, but my main one is, why is coming from a family of public 41 00:02:55,210 --> 00:02:58,150 educators a reason to sleep in your office at night? 42 00:02:58,710 --> 00:03:01,890 You guys think I come from a family of gastroenterologists, that's why I sleep 43 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,310 in an abandoned ferris wheel. 44 00:03:03,910 --> 00:03:05,150 Is that why? 45 00:03:05,670 --> 00:03:09,330 And I said, look, Burchett also told reporters in February that he sleeps in 46 00:03:09,330 --> 00:03:12,790 office because it helps him stay productive and get to meetings early. 47 00:03:13,090 --> 00:03:17,230 All of which feel like excuses for something else going on in his life. 48 00:03:17,870 --> 00:03:21,630 Just why are you sleeping in your office, Tim? Is it crime? Is it 49 00:03:21,890 --> 00:03:25,570 Or is it that things aren't great at home right now, and your wife threw all 50 00:03:25,570 --> 00:03:27,530 your dad -gum stuff onto the curb? 51 00:03:27,910 --> 00:03:30,890 And while it is neither here nor there, I can't not mention that a few weeks 52 00:03:30,890 --> 00:03:34,390 ago, Bircher announced that he'd broken his rib after getting kicked by his 53 00:03:34,390 --> 00:03:37,370 horse. An incident that he later described like this. 54 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:49,800 Yeah, 55 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:53,480 would it, though? 56 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:57,840 Because that feels like a bad choice of tattoo for many reasons, including that 57 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,980 every morning you go into the bathroom, look in the mirror, and see a 58 00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:03,940 permanently injured reminder that your own horse hates you. 59 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:08,160 And by bathroom, I of course mean the public restroom in your congressional 60 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,940 office building where you sleep every night for an involving set of reasons. 61 00:04:12,260 --> 00:04:17,010 And look, violent crime clearly exists in D .C. like it does... anywhere else. 62 00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:20,570 But you should know, while Trump talks of bloodshed, bedlam, squalor and worse, 63 00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:26,130 homicides in DC were actually down 32 % last year and are down another 11 % this 64 00:04:26,130 --> 00:04:29,990 year, on top of which the city's official violent crime rate in 2024 was 65 00:04:29,990 --> 00:04:32,150 second lowest reported since 1966. 66 00:04:32,830 --> 00:04:36,030 But obviously, crime stats don't matter to this administration. 67 00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:40,150 This is all about a show of power, just like it was in June when Trump deployed 68 00:04:40,150 --> 00:04:43,990 the National Guard to LA on similarly flimsy pretenses. And he's already 69 00:04:43,990 --> 00:04:48,070 he may do the same in New York. Baltimore, Chicago, and Oakland. And 70 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:51,790 have been scary images of police harassing citizens in D .C., there have 71 00:04:51,790 --> 00:04:56,450 been some truly pathetic videos illustrating how stupid this whole 72 00:04:56,510 --> 00:05:00,370 with maybe the purest expression being this cringe -inducing encounter where a 73 00:05:00,370 --> 00:05:03,650 group of agents approach a man they mistakenly think is smoking marijuana on 74 00:05:03,650 --> 00:05:06,950 back porch, which, by the way, is completely legal in D .C. 75 00:05:07,550 --> 00:05:10,990 Did y 'all get a call or something about right here? No, so we're doing checks, 76 00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:13,970 keeping everybody safe down here, right? Have you ever, you heard of the federal 77 00:05:13,970 --> 00:05:15,850 search that Donald Trump's putting out? No. 78 00:05:16,070 --> 00:05:18,990 Right, you don't follow like number three or anything like that? No. 79 00:05:19,450 --> 00:05:23,970 All right, so, yeah, Trump's g***t all federal agencies kind of coming together 80 00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:26,090 for seven days and going out. Absolutely. 81 00:05:26,470 --> 00:05:32,390 Trying to stop the violent crime, all kind of stuff. So, just know, right, 82 00:05:32,470 --> 00:05:35,890 learn, teach, tell your boys, like, yo, everybody's out. 83 00:05:47,270 --> 00:05:52,590 Look, that is all alarming and annoying, but I do love that, guys, did you all 84 00:05:52,590 --> 00:05:56,370 get a call or something? Because it might be the single politest person of 85 00:05:56,370 --> 00:05:58,390 the f***k are you dorks doing on my property? 86 00:05:59,130 --> 00:06:02,210 I've ever heard. There must be nothing more deflating for those ages than to 87 00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:05,750 show up somewhere, all puffed up and ready for action, just to have someone 88 00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:08,530 calmly ask basically, are you little boys locked? 89 00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:10,850 And look, who knows? 90 00:06:11,210 --> 00:06:14,430 Where things will be by the time you watch this. DC is currently suing over 91 00:06:14,430 --> 00:06:17,670 Trump's move to take over their police force, winning a narrow victory on 92 00:06:17,670 --> 00:06:21,370 Friday. And even if Trump wins the broader case, the takeover would be 93 00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:25,590 by law to just 30 days, unless Congress votes to extend it, which Democratic 94 00:06:25,590 --> 00:06:29,090 leaders in both chambers have said they'll refuse to do. Chuck Schumer even 95 00:06:29,090 --> 00:06:33,730 there's no f***g way he'll allow it. Language I don't think the Baileys would 96 00:06:33,730 --> 00:06:34,730 approve of. 97 00:06:35,150 --> 00:06:38,270 And some Republicans, like Senator John Kennedy, seem to think that they can 98 00:06:38,270 --> 00:06:41,490 capitalize on that to make Democrats seem soft on crime. 99 00:06:42,190 --> 00:06:48,270 Mainstream Democrats have now come out firmly and passionately in favor of 100 00:06:48,270 --> 00:06:55,150 in Washington, D .C. Chuck and Hakeem need to go to Amazon, buy some 101 00:06:55,190 --> 00:06:59,070 and stand up to the moon's wing of their party. 102 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:04,020 I don't know which part is worse there, telling someone to buy a pair of 103 00:07:04,020 --> 00:07:09,620 testicles or telling them to do so on Amazon rather than from mom -and -pop 104 00:07:09,620 --> 00:07:12,420 testicle stores that are really struggling right...