The Bernie Mac Show s04e06 Who Gives This Bride.eng Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:04,413 --> 00:00:06,633 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:18,043 --> 00:00:20,973 But it's mine! I should be able to do whatever I want with it. 3 00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:24,400 That's where you're wrong. Everything in this doggone house is mine. 4 00:00:24,475 --> 00:00:27,265 And you're not getting your belly button pierced, and that's final. 5 00:00:27,344 --> 00:00:30,694 Now you say something. Go ahead, so I can ground you. 6 00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:32,018 Make me sick. 7 00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:33,689 That's a week. 8 00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:35,857 You want some more? 9 00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:38,356 Say something. S***k your teeth. 10 00:00:38,438 --> 00:00:39,528 Anything. 11 00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:40,736 (door shuts) 12 00:00:40,816 --> 00:00:42,406 Messing with a man, Ness. 13 00:00:42,484 --> 00:00:46,594 America, I'm at war in my own house. 14 00:00:46,663 --> 00:00:48,123 Why? 15 00:00:48,198 --> 00:00:50,828 Because I'm cursed. 16 00:00:50,909 --> 00:00:53,009 With a teenager, that's why. 17 00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:55,177 I can't take it anymore. 18 00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:57,045 She's wearing me out, 19 00:00:57,124 --> 00:00:58,674 defenses getting jumpy. 20 00:00:58,750 --> 00:00:59,970 (doorbell rings) 21 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:01,887 What's that? 22 00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:04,222 Incoming! Incoming! 23 00:01:04,297 --> 00:01:07,187 (doorbell rings) Oh. that's the doorbell. 24 00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:09,887 See? I'm gone cwazy. 25 00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:11,530 (quiet panting) 26 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,395 As you were, America. 27 00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:15,573 As you were. 28 00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:18,156 (music playing) 29 00:01:18,687 --> 00:01:21,327 (panting) 30 00:01:25,044 --> 00:01:27,594 (grunting) 31 00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:30,836 (knock at door) 32 00:01:32,242 --> 00:01:34,082 Beat you to it. (laughs) 33 00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:36,511 Hey! Sha-Wanda-Wanda. 34 00:01:36,588 --> 00:01:37,888 Bernie. Hey. 35 00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:39,915 Hi! I g***t a surprise for y'all. 36 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,270 Okay. 37 00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:45,012 Monroe. (hoots) 38 00:01:45,088 --> 00:01:46,468 Howdy. 39 00:01:46,548 --> 00:01:49,388 Well, look at you. (laughing) You g***t a man! 40 00:01:49,467 --> 00:01:50,927 A fiance! 41 00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:52,101 Bling bling-a-ding! 42 00:01:52,179 --> 00:01:54,599 (screaming) Ooh! Ooh! 43 00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:56,021 (laughter) 44 00:01:56,099 --> 00:01:57,689 Oh, congratulations! Hey. 45 00:01:57,767 --> 00:01:58,817 Let me see! Yeah. 46 00:01:58,894 --> 00:02:00,614 (women screaming and laughing) 47 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,611 (mutters) Oh... Oh! 48 00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:03,989 (laughs) Hey. Oh! 49 00:02:04,065 --> 00:02:06,115 Ooh. (laughter) 50 00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:07,873 Oh. Oh, no, no, no. 51 00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,198 Hey! 52 00:02:09,279 --> 00:02:10,829 Oh, wow. Okay. 53 00:02:10,906 --> 00:02:12,996 Freaky deek... Oh. 54 00:02:13,074 --> 00:02:14,294 Mmm. Oh, that's so nice. 55 00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:15,627 Get your bags, come on. 56 00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:16,842 Oh. Hey. Let me see. 57 00:02:16,912 --> 00:02:19,052 (laughter) WANDA: Oh, he's cute. 58 00:02:19,131 --> 00:02:20,551 Yeah, you can put 'em right up in... 59 00:02:20,558 --> 00:02:21,968 There you go. Oh. 60 00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:24,632 (laughs) Yeah. 61 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,295 (Monroe laughing) 62 00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:28,179 MONROE: Oh, we only met, what, uh... 63 00:02:28,256 --> 00:02:29,346 BOTH: Three months ago. 64 00:02:29,424 --> 00:02:31,684 Mm-hm, but the moment I laid eyes 65 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,440 on my sweet peach cobbler... 66 00:02:33,511 --> 00:02:36,481 (laughing) ...I knew. 67 00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:37,976 (chuckling) 68 00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,358 MONROE: Mmm. 69 00:02:39,434 --> 00:02:40,744 BENITA: There's my little man, Jordan. 70 00:02:40,819 --> 00:02:45,319 Jordan, I want you to meet Monroe, my fiance! 71 00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:47,878 MONROE: Ooh, I like that. (laughter) 72 00:02:48,985 --> 00:02:50,445 Say hello to your uncle-to-be. 73 00:02:50,528 --> 00:02:53,588 Hi. Aren't you gonna feel my muscle? 74 00:02:53,665 --> 00:02:54,915 Ooh... Whoo! 75 00:02:54,991 --> 00:02:56,651 MONROE: Oh... yeah. Ow! 76 00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:59,594 Nita-Bita, why didn't you tell me Superman was your nephew? 77 00:02:59,663 --> 00:03:02,883 (laughs) ♪ Sup... Superman ♪ 78 00:03:02,958 --> 00:03:05,678 (laughs) Yeah. 79 00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,517 BOTH: Mmm... 80 00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:11,892 BENITA: Isn't he something? Oh! 81 00:03:11,967 --> 00:03:13,597 I just had to let y'all meet him 82 00:03:13,677 --> 00:03:16,317 before we rolled up to Vegas to tie the knot. 83 00:03:16,396 --> 00:03:18,436 (both laughing) Vegas? 84 00:03:18,515 --> 00:03:20,015 You guys are getting married in Vegas? 85 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,110 Oh, it don't matter where we get married, 86 00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:26,029 just as long as I get to spend the rest of my natural born days 87 00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:28,316 with my sweet... chocolate, 88 00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:32,124 caramel-covered, nougat-filled honeysuckle. 89 00:03:32,195 --> 00:03:34,035 Oh, he's so romantic! (laughing) 90 00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:36,334 WANDA: Y'all can't get married in Vegas. That's out of the question. 91 00:03:36,342 --> 00:03:39,212 Why don't you guys get married right here? Isn't that a good idea? 92 00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:40,886 [both kissing] 93 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:45,720 Yeah, that's a great idea. 94 00:03:45,801 --> 00:03:48,051 Matter of fact, we could have it right in the back yard. 95 00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:49,388 Ooh! Yes. 96 00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:50,852 Fix it up real nice, I mean, real nice. 97 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,391 Yes, I'll get a minister, order some flowers, 98 00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:53,885 I'll help you plan the whole thing. 99 00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,677 Mm. Oh, you hear that, baby? 100 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,230 We're gonna have a real live wedding. 101 00:03:58,239 --> 00:03:59,559 (laughs) 102 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:02,073 BOTH: Woo, woo, woo. (laughter) 103 00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,362 My baby sister's getting married. 104 00:04:04,436 --> 00:04:05,856 ("Wedding March" playing) 105 00:04:05,937 --> 00:04:09,107 Seems like yesterday I was wiping her nose, 106 00:04:09,190 --> 00:04:11,370 fixing her a choke sandwich. 107 00:04:11,443 --> 00:04:13,703 That's a peanut butter on white. 108 00:04:13,778 --> 00:04:16,788 You know, choke you in your throat. 109 00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:19,839 I was taking her little hand, walking her across the street. 110 00:04:22,787 --> 00:04:25,427 And now I'm getting a chance to walk her down the aisle. 111 00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:28,621 (knock on door) 112 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:31,512 Rise and shine! (groaning) What time is it? 113 00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:34,392 Time to get up. We have g***t a wedding to plan. 114 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,930 First things first. We gonna get you a wedding gown. 115 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,150 Uh-uh, I g***t a dress. 116 00:04:38,228 --> 00:04:40,398 It's hanging up over there. 117 00:04:40,972 --> 00:04:41,932 Ooh! 118 00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:44,227 Mm. I'm gonna be so s***y. 119 00:04:44,309 --> 00:04:46,239 (laughs sleepily) 120 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,900 Let's go for traditional. 121 00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:50,870 (groans) 122 00:04:50,949 --> 00:04:51,999 Our treat. 123 00:04:53,151 --> 00:04:54,621 I'll be ready in five minutes. 124 00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:55,834 Coffee's on. 125 00:04:55,904 --> 00:04:58,374 Give it to me! No, you can't have it! 126 00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,622 Give... No, I'm gonna cut off your hand. 127 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:05,000 I know that's not my bridesmaid over there moping. 128 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:06,800 Me? Who else? 129 00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:09,053 (both yelling indistinctly) Come on, girl. 130 00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:10,965 Sha-Wanda is taking me dress shopping. 131 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:14,684 I'll just tell her that my bridesmaid needs a dress, too. 132 00:05:14,756 --> 00:05:18,056 Hmm. Then, girl, we can get you something that's fly. 133 00:05:18,134 --> 00:05:19,814 That way, you can wear it again. 134 00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:22,096 But Bigfoot grounded me. 135 00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:27,650 But nobody is grounded when Auntie Benita is getting hitched, okay? 136 00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:30,447 Don't look at me like that. Ain't nobody scared of Bernard. 137 00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:32,616 Get your butt up. Come on. 138 00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,489 Ow! 139 00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:35,957 I want to be in the wedding. 140 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:39,826 (gasps) I have the most important job of all for you. 141 00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:42,756 You can be my flower girl. (gasps) 142 00:05:42,834 --> 00:05:45,794 Yes! I'll be the best flower girl you ever had. 143 00:05:45,870 --> 00:05:47,630 Okay. 144 00:05:47,705 --> 00:05:49,545 Jordan, 145 00:05:49,624 --> 00:05:51,674 if you're not too big, I was hoping 146 00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:53,511 that you would be my ring bearer. 147 00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:55,716 Oh, I just know once you get to know...