The Bernie Mac Show s04e10 Manchild in Vanessa Land.eng Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:02,837 --> 00:00:05,707 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:17,667 --> 00:00:20,427 (up-tempo music playing) 3 00:00:20,504 --> 00:00:24,014 Vanessa, Bryana thinks I can't whip both of you in Sorry. 4 00:00:24,091 --> 00:00:25,681 Who cares? 5 00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:29,779 Okay, I'll just tell her you don't have time for us anymore. 6 00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:31,345 She's older now. 7 00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:33,861 Maybe she'll take it better than she did last week. 8 00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:35,858 Okay, okay, maybe tomorrow. 9 00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:38,366 Promise? (scoffs) 10 00:00:41,733 --> 00:00:43,783 D***n. (moans) 11 00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:45,330 You know, you make me want to jump. 12 00:00:45,403 --> 00:00:47,303 (chuckles) 13 00:00:47,372 --> 00:00:49,162 Ooh. 14 00:00:49,241 --> 00:00:50,961 Don't you know how to knock? 15 00:00:51,034 --> 00:00:52,754 There's no doors. 16 00:00:52,828 --> 00:00:55,298 So I finished my homework, emptied the wastebasket, 17 00:00:55,380 --> 00:00:59,050 loaded the dishwasher and folded all the clothes. 18 00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,556 Can I go to the mall with my friends? 19 00:01:00,636 --> 00:01:03,056 I guess so, as long as you be back for dinner, okay? 20 00:01:03,138 --> 00:01:04,188 Hold on, hold on, hold on. 21 00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:05,724 Come on now. Let me look at you. 22 00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:08,099 You look cute. (giggles) 23 00:01:08,176 --> 00:01:10,846 Ah, a subtle trace of je ne sais quoi. 24 00:01:10,929 --> 00:01:13,239 Is one of your friends a boy? 25 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:17,978 Wait just a d***n minute. 26 00:01:18,061 --> 00:01:19,901 That's what all this homework, 27 00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:21,570 and "I loaded the dishwasher, 28 00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:25,028 I done mopped the floor," and all that kind of stuff. 29 00:01:25,110 --> 00:01:26,750 You setting us up, man. 30 00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,128 You trying to go on a date. 31 00:01:29,206 --> 00:01:31,076 I'm too young to date, remember? 32 00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:32,248 You g***t that right. 33 00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:33,915 I'm just going to the mall. 34 00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:35,844 You ain't going nowhere. 35 00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:38,091 But you just said that I could go. 36 00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:40,595 I changed my mind. You're not going anywhere. 37 00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:44,596 (scoffs) 38 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:48,930 America! You see how crazy she talks to me? 39 00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:51,019 In my own house. 40 00:01:51,094 --> 00:01:53,484 She's lucky she's not a man. 41 00:01:53,555 --> 00:01:56,975 I bet I'd check that chin, pow, pow, pow, bam. 42 00:01:57,058 --> 00:01:58,528 ♪ Go to sleep... ♪ 43 00:01:58,536 --> 00:02:01,496 Through the shoulder. Yah! Pow, pow! 44 00:02:01,572 --> 00:02:05,422 ♪ Go to sleep, go to sleep... ♪ 45 00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:14,619 Oh, that was nice. She's still upset. 46 00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:16,261 She'll get over it. 47 00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:18,337 Well, you know what, honey? Vanessa is getting older, 48 00:02:18,413 --> 00:02:21,633 and I think we should do a better job of accepting that 49 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,638 and maybe give her a little more room. 50 00:02:24,794 --> 00:02:26,264 Little more room to do what? 51 00:02:26,338 --> 00:02:29,468 Well, like this date. 52 00:02:29,549 --> 00:02:31,889 Why don't we have the little boy come over here? 53 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,392 We can invite him to dinner. 54 00:02:33,470 --> 00:02:35,200 That way, we get to meet the little boy 55 00:02:35,272 --> 00:02:38,532 and decide if we like him before it goes any further. 56 00:02:38,609 --> 00:02:40,159 Further? 57 00:02:40,235 --> 00:02:43,445 What I mean is, we don't want her sneaking around, okay? 58 00:02:43,521 --> 00:02:45,361 And I'm a little tired of watching you two 59 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,200 go back and forth on a daily basis. 60 00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:50,659 Okay, America, I'll let the boy come by. 61 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:54,041 Get his little grub on, then I'm laying down the law. 62 00:02:54,115 --> 00:02:56,995 And it won't be nobody three strikes you're out, either. 63 00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,877 Uh-uh. One strike. 64 00:02:58,954 --> 00:03:00,344 One strike, you're toast. 65 00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:02,473 Like a umpire? Out of there! 66 00:03:04,209 --> 00:03:05,519 Whew! 67 00:03:08,338 --> 00:03:11,438 He's here! This is gonna be good. 68 00:03:11,516 --> 00:03:13,726 Why? Because Uncle Bernie's gonna hate him. 69 00:03:13,810 --> 00:03:14,770 I hate him already. 70 00:03:14,844 --> 00:03:15,944 Bernie! What? 71 00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:19,361 Vanessa, I think your friend is here! 72 00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:20,952 Bernie, don't intimidate the boy. 73 00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:23,946 I'm not going to intimidate the boy, baby. Calm down. 74 00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:26,399 (doorbell rings) For Vanessa's sake. 75 00:03:26,481 --> 00:03:28,211 (mutters) Give me a kiss. 76 00:03:29,484 --> 00:03:31,964 (up-tempo music playing) 77 00:03:35,156 --> 00:03:36,406 BERNIE: Oh, it's a false alarm. 78 00:03:36,491 --> 00:03:37,671 What can I do for you, brother? 79 00:03:37,742 --> 00:03:40,642 I'm Raheem. I'm here for Vanessa. 80 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,763 (hip-hop playing) 81 00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:46,297 (coughs) Irie. 82 00:03:46,376 --> 00:03:48,226 Now puff upon it so. 83 00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:55,887 WANDA: Ooh, honey, what...?! 84 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,729 You see that grown man? 85 00:03:57,804 --> 00:04:00,364 What are you talking about? He goes to my school. 86 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,650 What, on the G.I. Bill? You see his feet? 87 00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:05,360 That boy's feet, man, he's wearing the box. Bernie, stop. 88 00:04:05,437 --> 00:04:07,447 Raheem, welcome. 89 00:04:07,522 --> 00:04:09,112 Come on in. My husband, he's a comedian. 90 00:04:09,190 --> 00:04:12,130 Yeah. Yuk-yuk. Right this way. 91 00:04:12,202 --> 00:04:14,452 We don't have enough food to feed him! 92 00:04:14,529 --> 00:04:17,259 That big some of a... 93 00:04:18,283 --> 00:04:20,253 Ms. Mac, that was delicious. 94 00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:22,387 Why thank you, Raheem. Yeah, it was, yeah. 95 00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:23,892 Vanessa made the gravy herself. 96 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,214 I love gravy. 97 00:04:25,290 --> 00:04:26,590 (giggles) Me, too. 98 00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:28,926 Sweetheart, you're excused. 99 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,522 Go and put your pajamas on. 100 00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:34,768 Well, so what are your plans for college, sir? 101 00:04:34,850 --> 00:04:37,680 Oh, I'm currently being scouted by several Division-One schools. 102 00:04:37,761 --> 00:04:40,061 No kidding? JORDAN: Oh, yeah? 103 00:04:40,138 --> 00:04:42,318 And what if your little hoop dream doesn't work out? 104 00:04:42,399 --> 00:04:43,909 Then what? Huh? Huh? 105 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:47,494 Well, uh, I've managed to maintain a 3.2 average, 106 00:04:47,562 --> 00:04:49,612 so I'm going to college no matter what. 107 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:52,119 You know, I just kind of hope basketball will help pay for it. 108 00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:54,702 WANDA: Yeah. What's your major? 109 00:04:54,778 --> 00:04:56,178 Probably business. 110 00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:57,918 Something that'll help me take care of my family. 111 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:04,290 Okay, the boy give good answers. 112 00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:06,171 But could it all be a game, my man? 113 00:05:06,248 --> 00:05:09,668 'Cause I mean slick talk. You know what I'm saying? 114 00:05:09,751 --> 00:05:12,681 So can we go out for ice cream? 115 00:05:12,754 --> 00:05:15,614 I don't know. I'm kind of full. 116 00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,272 Yeah, you're full, all right. 117 00:05:17,342 --> 00:05:18,732 Okay. 118 00:05:18,810 --> 00:05:21,940 Only place that's open is Tony's on Ventura Boulevard, 119 00:05:22,013 --> 00:05:23,273 and her curfew's at ten. 120 00:05:23,348 --> 00:05:24,558 Ten? Ten. 121 00:05:24,641 --> 00:05:26,951 I'll have her back by 9:55, sir. 122 00:05:28,853 --> 00:05:30,953 (The Streets: "Sharp Darts" playing) 123 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:33,211 ♪ Sharp darts spitting masters spitting darts faster ♪ 124 00:05:33,283 --> 00:05:34,583 ♪ Shut up, I'm the driver you're the passenger ♪ 125 00:05:34,659 --> 00:05:36,749 ♪ My brain's superior ♪ 126 00:05:36,828 --> 00:05:38,498 ♪ Pressure blows the dial on your barometer ♪ 127 00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:40,501 Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. (laughs) 128 00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:42,473 I'll walk you to the door. 129 00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:44,422 You don't need any pocket change or anything like that? 130 00:05:44,494 --> 00:05:46,424 No, sir. What do your father do for a living? 131 00:05:46,496 --> 00:05:49,376 (down-tempo music playing) 132 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,671 Y'all have a good time. 133 00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:52,971 Mr. Mac, sir? Yes, sir? 134 00:05:53,044 --> 00:05:54,684 Can I have my license back now? 135 00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:56,024 Oh... 136 00:05:59,008 --> 00:05:59,968 There you go. Thank you. 137 00:06:00,051 --> 00:06:03,021 But don't forget, 9:55. 138 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:05,516 Yes, sir. 9:55. 139 00:06:05,598 -->...