Brickleberry.S01E02.2.Weeks.Notice.1080p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H264-iT00NZ Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,062 Subs created by: David Coleman. 2 00:00:02,063 --> 00:00:07,033 Okay, boys, we've g***t a really large group today, so please stay together. 3 00:00:07,034 --> 00:00:08,569 Oh, Steve, thank goodness. 4 00:00:08,570 --> 00:00:11,071 I need you to help me lead these kids down The Rock Eagle Trail. 5 00:00:11,072 --> 00:00:13,139 I'm having a hard time keeping up with them myself. 6 00:00:13,140 --> 00:00:15,008 I wish that I could, but I'm busy. 7 00:00:15,009 --> 00:00:16,042 Doing what? 8 00:00:16,043 --> 00:00:17,777 Updating my status. 9 00:00:17,778 --> 00:00:19,646 "Had a hot dog for lunch. 10 00:00:19,647 --> 00:00:22,416 Any spicy mustard fans out there?" 11 00:00:22,417 --> 00:00:25,057 Uh... Lucas, no! 12 00:00:25,420 --> 00:00:27,787 Stay with the group. 13 00:00:27,788 --> 00:00:30,224 Come on, Steve, I really need some help here. 14 00:00:30,225 --> 00:00:31,658 This light is perfect. 15 00:00:31,659 --> 00:00:33,594 And, I need a new profile photo. 16 00:00:33,595 --> 00:00:34,628 Here, take it for me. 17 00:00:34,629 --> 00:00:36,849 [Rattling] 18 00:00:37,565 --> 00:00:38,573 [Exhales heavily] 19 00:00:38,574 --> 00:00:40,267 Please stay with the group. 20 00:00:40,268 --> 00:00:41,152 [Camera clicks] 21 00:00:41,153 --> 00:00:42,603 Loving my hair today. 22 00:00:42,604 --> 00:00:45,805 Ugh. Steve, do you ever think about anybody but yourself? 23 00:00:45,806 --> 00:00:48,074 You are the most self-centered man on the planet. 24 00:00:48,075 --> 00:00:51,811 Go on. What else about Steve do you find fascinating? 25 00:00:51,812 --> 00:00:54,615 Ugh. Not only do I not find you fascinating, 26 00:00:54,616 --> 00:00:57,016 but I doubt there is a single woman alive that would. 27 00:00:57,017 --> 00:01:01,388 For your information, Denzel and I are doing speed dating tonight. 28 00:01:01,389 --> 00:01:04,090 - I bet I'll score. - There is no way that you're... 29 00:01:04,091 --> 00:01:05,191 Oh, God! 30 00:01:05,192 --> 00:01:07,994 Come on, kids. Up into the ferris wheel. 31 00:01:07,995 --> 00:01:10,398 There's room for everybody. 32 00:01:10,399 --> 00:01:14,100 Hey! It happened to me, and I turned out all right. 33 00:01:14,101 --> 00:01:15,201 [Honks bicycle horn] 34 00:01:15,202 --> 00:01:17,722 [Jaunty music] 35 00:01:18,876 --> 00:01:19,873 [Screams] 36 00:01:19,874 --> 00:01:25,397 Brickleberry... 37 00:01:26,648 --> 00:01:29,750 So the North Koreans grabbed me, and smuggled me across the border. 38 00:01:29,751 --> 00:01:31,885 I had to spend nine months in a hard labor camp, 39 00:01:31,886 --> 00:01:33,587 while former President Carter negotiated my... 40 00:01:33,588 --> 00:01:34,621 I'm sorry, did you say something? 41 00:01:34,622 --> 00:01:37,291 I was just making a list of people who could play me in a movie. 44 00:01:41,862 --> 00:01:43,563 So... 45 00:01:43,564 --> 00:01:46,266 Are we gonna get it on, or what? 46 00:01:46,267 --> 00:01:48,635 [Whispering] Denzel. What's with these women? 47 00:01:48,636 --> 00:01:51,171 Man, you the problem. You don't listen to 'em. 48 00:01:51,172 --> 00:01:54,073 Now, you know me. I like my women like spoiled milk... 49 00:01:54,074 --> 00:01:55,875 White, and past the expiration date. 50 00:01:55,876 --> 00:01:57,210 Watch and learn. 51 00:01:57,211 --> 00:02:00,980 So he calls and he says, "grandma, I g***t accepted." 52 00:02:00,981 --> 00:02:03,450 Oh, my goodness, you're telling me your grandson 53 00:02:03,451 --> 00:02:05,852 g***t into Tulane on a full scholarship? 54 00:02:05,853 --> 00:02:07,053 Mazel tov. 55 00:02:07,054 --> 00:02:09,889 Now, how about we go back to your place and knock the dust off that poontang? 56 00:02:09,890 --> 00:02:12,693 Ooh! Thought you'd never ask. 57 00:02:12,694 --> 00:02:14,328 It's just like Shakespeare said... 58 00:02:14,329 --> 00:02:16,930 "If you yak about you, your sack will turn blue. 59 00:02:16,931 --> 00:02:19,833 But if you watch and listen, her crotch will glisten." 60 00:02:19,834 --> 00:02:22,092 - William Shakespeare said that? - Who? 61 00:02:22,093 --> 00:02:23,888 Nah. My boy Jamarcus Shakespeare. 62 00:02:23,889 --> 00:02:25,205 Ran a chop shop in Detroit. 63 00:02:25,206 --> 00:02:28,775 Brother pulled more hos than a Fire Department. 64 00:02:28,776 --> 00:02:31,177 Ethel and Denzel don't know what they're talking about. 65 00:02:31,178 --> 00:02:33,714 I'm not self-centered. ** I? 66 00:02:33,715 --> 00:02:35,782 No. Don't even say that. 67 00:02:35,783 --> 00:02:37,114 You're amazing! 68 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:41,187 Thank you. Finally, someone who makes a little sense around here. 69 00:02:41,188 --> 00:02:43,790 I appreciate how amazing you are. 70 00:02:43,791 --> 00:02:47,293 Why don't you tell me everything there is to know about you? 71 00:02:47,294 --> 00:02:49,763 Me? My favorite subject. 72 00:02:49,764 --> 00:02:54,874 My earliest memory was being the fastest sperm in the balls. 73 00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:57,604 Mmm. Nyum, nyum, nyum, nyum. 74 00:02:57,605 --> 00:02:59,673 Mmm, nyum, yum, yum, yum. 75 00:02:59,674 --> 00:03:01,742 Well, if it ain't the house bear. 76 00:03:01,743 --> 00:03:03,844 Where you going, you spoiled little p***y? 77 00:03:03,845 --> 00:03:05,379 Inside, where I live. 78 00:03:05,380 --> 00:03:07,591 You guys have fun digging through the garbage, though. 79 00:03:07,592 --> 00:03:10,350 Ooh, I forgot, we put rocks on the lids. Tough break, guys. 80 00:03:10,351 --> 00:03:13,620 - Yo, gimme those. - Hey, those are mine! 81 00:03:13,621 --> 00:03:15,841 [Grunting] 82 00:03:15,890 --> 00:03:17,524 Okay, okay, you win. 83 00:03:17,525 --> 00:03:18,658 Tell you what. 84 00:03:18,659 --> 00:03:23,196 I'll bring you some food from inside, just wait right here. 85 00:03:23,197 --> 00:03:25,499 Malloy, what are you doing? 86 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:26,736 Getting a gun. 87 00:03:26,737 --> 00:03:28,952 What have I told you about guns? 88 00:03:28,953 --> 00:03:31,671 To scratch the serial number off before you murder someone. 89 00:03:31,672 --> 00:03:32,734 No. 90 00:03:32,735 --> 00:03:35,963 Only rangers can carry guns inside of a National Park. 91 00:03:35,964 --> 00:03:37,258 That rule s***s. 92 00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:40,401 I just need to command a little respect around here. 93 00:03:40,402 --> 00:03:42,982 Trust me, I don't need a gun to get respect. 94 00:03:42,983 --> 00:03:44,512 What's up, you fat old mother... 95 00:03:44,513 --> 00:03:46,018 Handsome, strong... 96 00:03:46,019 --> 00:03:47,768 Stupid, ignorant-a***s... 97 00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:49,002 All-around nice guy. 98 00:03:49,003 --> 00:03:52,505 All right, maybe you've g***t a point. 99 00:03:52,506 --> 00:03:54,575 So then, we get to her place and start going at it. 100 00:03:54,576 --> 00:03:56,643 Everything is getting hot and heavy. 101 00:03:56,644 --> 00:03:59,505 She smells like menthol rubs and female excitement, 102 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,915 when all of a sudden the parlor door opens. 103 00:04:01,916 --> 00:04:03,784 - [Exasperated] Mom... - You g***t a mom? 104 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:06,787 You go to your room at once, young lady! 105 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,422 C***k blocked by a 90-year-old. Ain't that some s***t? 106 00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,524 I ** really sorry I asked about that. 107 00:04:11,525 --> 00:04:12,564 [Laughs triumphantly] 108 00:04:12,565 --> 00:04:13,580 Yeah! 109 00:04:13,581 --> 00:04:16,196 I will have you know that my self-centered a***s 110 00:04:16,197 --> 00:04:21,068 just scored with the hottest, sexiest woman in the whole world! 111 00:04:21,069 --> 00:04:22,170 I don't believe it. 112 00:04:22,171 --> 00:04:24,304 And, she only wanted to talk about me. 113 00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:26,573 She didn't waste my time talking about her. 114 00:04:26,574 --> 00:04:29,442 Oh, yeah, and we had the wildest s***x you could imagine. 115 00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:33,647 It wasn't until it was all over that she finally asked for something for herself. 116 00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:35,949 - What was that? - Five hundred dollars. 117 00:04:35,950 --> 00:04:37,450 I'm assuming it was for cab fare. 118 00:04:37,451 --> 00:04:39,886 And I'm assuming the cab had to take her to a different state. 119 00:04:39,887 --> 00:04:41,187 I'm assuming, Mexico. 120 00:04:41,188 --> 00:04:43,570 Steve, I think that woman was a... 121 00:04:43,571 --> 00:04:44,658 How should I put this? 122 00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:45,926 That bitch was a ho! 123 00:04:45,927 --> 00:04:48,095 Don't talk about Lady Tanqueray like that! 124 00:04:48,096 --> 00:04:53,690 Besides, if she was a prostitute, why didn't I wear a condom? 125 00:04:53,691 --> 00:04:55,671 Right? 126 00:04:56,870 --> 00:05:00,841 Steve, how many times have I warned you about taking part in high-risk behaviors? 127 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,042 Oh, my God. 128 00:05:02,043 --> 00:05:03,910 Someone just left this laying here? 129 00:05:03,911 --> 00:05:06,713 Well, it is cold and flu season. 130 00:05:06,714 --> 00:05:08,181 Is that corned beef? 131 00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:10,183 I'll give you three bucks for a b***e of that. 132 00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:12,653 Who wants to become blood brothers? 133 00:05:12,654 --> 00:05:14,554 All of you? Okay! 134 00:05:14,555 --> 00:05:17,858 Frankly, it's a...