Its.Pat.The.Movie.1994.720p.BluRay.H264.AAC-RARBG.ENG2b Movie Subtitles

1216 00:54:23,459 --> 00:54:24,761 All right, can I help you? 1217 00:54:24,794 --> 00:54:26,828 Man: Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts. 1218 00:54:26,862 --> 00:54:28,898 I feel like I want to jump off a building 1219 00:54:28,931 --> 00:54:32,001 or slit my wrists or put a bullet in my head. 1220 00:54:32,034 --> 00:54:35,038 Well, have you considered drowning? 1221 00:54:35,071 --> 00:54:38,441 I mean, they say it's like God giving you a big wet hug... 1222 00:54:38,474 --> 00:54:39,809 forever. 1223 00:54:39,842 --> 00:54:41,878 Stop calling here. 1224 00:54:43,813 --> 00:54:46,482 Female chorus: ♪ Ooh, "Love Chair" ♪ 1225 00:54:46,515 --> 00:54:49,452 Announcer: Tune in same time tomorrow for more... 1226 00:54:49,485 --> 00:54:51,688 Hey, you know when that "On the air" sign is on, 1227 00:54:51,721 --> 00:54:53,022 that means you're on the air. 1228 00:54:53,055 --> 00:54:54,591 Oh, heh heh. Oops. 1229 00:54:56,092 --> 00:54:57,760 You know, you're a natural? 1230 00:54:57,793 --> 00:54:59,095 Well, your station's listeners 1231 00:54:59,128 --> 00:55:00,496 really bummed me out. 1232 00:55:00,529 --> 00:55:01,931 They're a bunch of crackpots. 1233 00:55:01,964 --> 00:55:03,766 Well, Pat, those are exactly the kind of people 1234 00:55:03,799 --> 00:55:05,401 who call a radio talk show. 1235 00:55:05,434 --> 00:55:06,836 Well, they're too freaky for me. 1236 00:55:06,869 --> 00:55:09,372 Why can't they just have normal relationships? 1237 00:55:10,973 --> 00:55:14,744 Pat, why don't you be the new host of "Love Chat"? 1238 00:55:14,777 --> 00:55:16,446 Great. 1239 00:55:16,479 --> 00:55:17,647 I'm hired! 1240 00:55:27,156 --> 00:55:29,991 Guess what, Kathy. I g***t a job. 1241 00:55:30,025 --> 00:55:32,028 I have a radio show called "Love Chat." 1242 00:55:32,061 --> 00:55:34,364 Yeah, I know, Pat. That was my show. 1243 00:55:34,397 --> 00:55:35,565 Well, small world. 1244 00:55:35,598 --> 00:55:36,799 No, no. I g***t fired today. 1245 00:55:36,832 --> 00:55:40,370 Oh, Kathy, that's terrible. 1246 00:55:40,403 --> 00:55:41,738 Why? 1247 00:55:41,771 --> 00:55:43,873 Because they gave you my show. 1248 00:55:43,906 --> 00:55:46,976 Oh, that must be awful for you, Kathy. 1249 00:55:47,009 --> 00:55:48,811 Is there anything I can do? 1250 00:55:48,844 --> 00:55:50,747 Uh, yeah. Could you give me my job back? 1251 00:55:50,780 --> 00:55:53,549 I don't think they'd go for that down at the station. 1252 00:55:53,582 --> 00:55:55,051 Plus, I wouldn't do it 1253 00:55:55,084 --> 00:55:57,053 because I really need this job. 1254 00:55:57,086 --> 00:55:59,522 Well, then do me a favor and get out of here! 1255 00:55:59,555 --> 00:56:01,624 - Okay? - I'd better go. 1256 00:56:01,657 --> 00:56:04,026 Ramrod. Ramrod. 1257 00:56:04,059 --> 00:56:05,395 Come on, baby, be the one. 1258 00:56:05,428 --> 00:56:06,662 - [buzzing] - Come to Papa. 1259 00:56:06,695 --> 00:56:08,965 Access denied. [chuckling] 1260 00:56:08,998 --> 00:56:10,133 [muttering] 1261 00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:12,667 [laughing] 1262 00:56:12,701 --> 00:56:13,837 [buzzing] 1263 00:56:15,037 --> 00:56:16,805 Pig! I'm sorry. 1264 00:56:16,839 --> 00:56:18,607 Okay. 1265 00:56:18,641 --> 00:56:22,078 [female chorus scatting] 1266 00:56:22,111 --> 00:56:26,182 Announcer: You're listening to KVIB FM. 1267 00:56:26,215 --> 00:56:28,551 And now for the southland's hottest talk radio, 1268 00:56:28,584 --> 00:56:30,453 here's Pat. 1269 00:56:30,486 --> 00:56:33,423 Hi. This is "Pat Chat." 1270 00:56:33,456 --> 00:56:36,859 And I'm your host, Pat Riley. [chuckling] 1271 00:56:36,892 --> 00:56:38,560 I'm ready to listen 1272 00:56:38,594 --> 00:56:41,631 to all of your most personal and intimate problems 1273 00:56:41,664 --> 00:56:44,100 and then, uh, solve them for you, 1274 00:56:44,133 --> 00:56:46,435 so, uh, let's take our first call. 1275 00:56:48,671 --> 00:56:50,906 Woman: I've contracted a horrible disease, 1276 00:56:50,940 --> 00:56:53,676 and I've been told I don't have much time to live. 1277 00:56:53,709 --> 00:56:55,645 [sobbing] What should I do? 1278 00:56:55,678 --> 00:56:57,513 [baby crying] 1279 00:56:57,546 --> 00:57:00,549 Why don't you go 1-800-Waah-waah-waah 1280 00:57:00,583 --> 00:57:03,219 waah-waah waah-waah? [chuckling] 1281 00:57:03,252 --> 00:57:05,788 All right, next call. 1282 00:57:05,821 --> 00:57:08,790 Kyle: Pat, I-- I-- I like to dress up 1283 00:57:08,824 --> 00:57:10,827 like my sexually ambiguous neighbor 1284 00:57:10,860 --> 00:57:12,528 [cuckoo cuckoo] 1285 00:57:10,860 --> 00:57:12,528 and prance around the apartment all night. 1286 00:57:12,561 --> 00:57:14,163 Sure you do, Mr. Looney Tunes. 1287 00:57:14,196 --> 00:57:15,565 Adios! 1288 00:57:15,598 --> 00:57:17,633 I'm tired of these cranks. 1289 00:57:17,666 --> 00:57:21,171 Let's screen these callers, people. 1290 00:57:27,610 --> 00:57:29,112 [doorbell rings] 1291 00:57:33,782 --> 00:57:36,786 Hi. Blast from your past. 1292 00:57:36,819 --> 00:57:40,122 Hi. I'm a famous radio personality now. 1293 00:57:40,155 --> 00:57:41,824 That's really-- That's great. 1294 00:57:41,857 --> 00:57:44,928 Uh, Pat, there's something I have to tell you. 1295 00:57:47,196 --> 00:57:48,665 Can I come in? 1296 00:57:51,200 --> 00:57:54,937 Pat, you know, I never want you and I to be enemies, okay? 1297 00:57:54,970 --> 00:57:58,006 But, uh, I have to go away for a little while. 1298 00:57:59,108 --> 00:58:00,576 Where? 1299 00:58:00,609 --> 00:58:02,879 I'm leaving on Sunday at 5:30 for Tibet, 1300 00:58:02,912 --> 00:58:05,047 on a spiritual quest. 1301 00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:07,049 A quest? 1302 00:58:07,082 --> 00:58:10,920 Yeah. Um, I'm gonna be gone for at least a year, Pat. 1303 00:58:10,953 --> 00:58:12,622 What? 1304 00:58:12,655 --> 00:58:14,023 So I really thought it was important 1305 00:58:14,056 --> 00:58:15,725 that I come by and tell you 1306 00:58:15,758 --> 00:58:17,692 that I think I'm probably always gonna love you, Pat. 1307 00:58:17,726 --> 00:58:20,997 Well, then great! Then we have no problems, then. 1308 00:58:21,030 --> 00:58:23,132 No, Pat. What I'm trying to say 1309 00:58:23,165 --> 00:58:25,768 that I'm really sorry it didn't work out between us. 1310 00:58:25,801 --> 00:58:26,936 Well-- 1311 00:58:28,270 --> 00:58:29,939 Well, I'm also sorry 1312 00:58:29,972 --> 00:58:33,009 that you couldn't have been more sensible. 1313 00:58:35,945 --> 00:58:37,213 Goodbye, Pat. 1314 00:58:47,089 --> 00:58:49,692 People. Can't live with them, 1315 00:58:49,725 --> 00:58:51,259 and you can't live without them. 1316 00:58:51,293 --> 00:58:53,029 Ohh... 1317 00:58:56,932 --> 00:58:58,935 D***n, I must have missed it. 1318 00:58:58,968 --> 00:59:01,703 [Kyle imitating Pat's voice] There's only three left. 1319 00:59:01,737 --> 00:59:03,906 I know that. Thank you. 1320 00:59:03,939 --> 00:59:05,707 [chuckling] 1321 00:59:05,741 --> 00:59:07,176 Zymase. 1322 00:59:12,014 --> 00:59:15,117 Access denied. [chuckling] 1323 00:59:15,150 --> 00:59:16,819 Zymotic? 1324 00:59:23,959 --> 00:59:25,194 Ohh... 1325 00:59:28,664 --> 00:59:29,799 Zythum. 1326 00:59:30,866 --> 00:59:32,569 Please work. 1327 00:59:36,739 --> 00:59:39,241 We're in. We're in! 1328 00:59:39,274 --> 00:59:40,643 We're in, we're in. 1329 00:59:40,676 --> 00:59:42,078 We're in, we're in. 1330 00:59:42,111 --> 00:59:43,246 We're in. 1331 00:59:44,346 --> 00:59:45,781 We're in. 1332 00:59:45,814 --> 00:59:47,249 Ohh... 1333 00:59:47,282 --> 00:59:49,619 We're in, we're in, we're in, 1334 00:59:49,652 --> 00:59:51,320 we're in, we're in, we're in. 1335 00:59:51,353 --> 00:59:53,356 We're in, we're in. 1336 00:59:53,389 --> 00:59:54,791 The diary. 1337 01:00:01,664 --> 01:00:04,233 "Once I g***t it home, I realized I didn't like it. 1338 01:00:04,266 --> 01:00:06,335 "I mean, who wants a plaid bath mat anyway? 1339 01:00:06,368 --> 01:00:08,136 "So I took it back and exchanged it 1340 01:00:08,170 --> 01:00:09,338 "for a delicious tan one. 1341 01:00:09,371 --> 01:00:13,843 Well, more brown, really." 1342 01:00:13,876 --> 01:00:16,045 Pat on radio: ...be all tender and sumptuous enough 1343 01:00:16,078 --> 01:00:17,780 to bring tears to your eyes. 1344 01:00:17,813 --> 01:00:19,949 And people everywhere are making Tom Chuck's 1345 01:00:19,982 --> 01:00:22,018 their dinnertime destination. 1346 01:00:22,051 --> 01:00:24,987 Come and enjoy! 1347 01:00:25,020 --> 01:00:27,056 All right, sounds good. 1348 01:00:28,390 --> 01:00:30,259 Okay, I'll remind you 1349 01:00:30,292 --> 01:00:33,229 this is KVIB. I'm Pat. 1350 01:00:33,262 --> 01:00:34,797 You know what I always say: 1351 01:00:34,830 --> 01:00:36,232 we're made for each other. [sputter] 1352 01:00:37,733 --> 01:00:39,135 Oh, Pat. 1353 01:00:39,168 --> 01:00:41,104 [chuckling] 1354 01:00:39,168 --> 01:00:41,104 Pat. 1355 01:00:49,378 --> 01:00:53,315 Always try to be equal partners in a relationship. 1356 01:00:53,348 --> 01:00:54,850 Thank you very much. 1357 01:00:54,883 --> 01:00:56,852 I'm Pat, and I'm here all night, 1358 01:00:56,885 --> 01:00:59,722 ready to lend a sympathetic ear. 1359 01:00:59,755 --> 01:01:01,757 Let's take our next call. 1360 01:01:01,790 --> 01:01:03,058 Hello. 1361 01:01:03,092 --> 01:01:04,326 Chris: Hi, Pat. 1362 01:01:04,359 --> 01:01:06,729 Hello. Don't waste my time. 1363 01:01:06,762 --> 01:01:08,164 What's your name, caller? 1364 01:01:08,197 --> 01:01:09,699 Well, it's-- 1365 01:01:09,732 --> 01:01:12,368 You can call me Chris, Pat. 1366 01:01:12,401 --> 01:01:15,071 All right, Chris, what's your problem? 1367 01:01:15,104 --> 01:01:17,439 Well, I had this special someone in my life-- 1368...