Dogma.1999.1080p.BrRip.x264.BOKUTOX.YIFY Movie Subtitles

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Come and say hi to me; World of Warcraft - Outland PVP (EU) - Torporr (name) 2 00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:09,420 Ladies and gentlemen, the driving force behind Catholicism Wow! 3 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:11,255 ...Cardinal Glick. 4 00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:19,347 Thank you, thank you. 5 00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:21,307 Now, we all know how the majority... 6 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,559 ...and the media in this country... 7 00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:25,853 ...view the Catholic Church. 8 00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:29,148 They think of us as a pass�, archaic institution. 9 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:32,401 People find the Bible obtuse... 10 00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:33,986 ...even hokey. 11 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,155 Now, in an effort to disprove all that... 12 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:39,909 ...the Church has appointed this year as a time of renewal... 13 00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:42,036 ...both of faith and of style. 14 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:45,081 For example, the crucifix. 15 00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:47,875 While it has been a time-honored symbol of our faith... 16 00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:50,920 ...Holy Mother Church has decided to retire... 17 00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:52,588 ...this highly recognizable... 18 00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:55,049 ...yet wholly depressing image... 19 00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:57,260 ...of our Lord, crucified. 20 00:02:57,427 --> 00:03:00,680 Christ didn't come to Earth to give us the willies. 21 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,598 He came to help us out. 22 00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:06,394 He was a booster, and it's with that take on our Lord in mind... 23 00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:09,272 ...that we've come up with a new, more inspiring sigil. 24 00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:13,276 So it is with great pleasure that I present you with the first... 25 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,945 ...of many revamps the Catholicism Wow! campaign... 26 00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:19,532 ...will unveil over the next year, I give you... 27 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:20,825 ..."The Buddy Christ." 28 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,462 That's not the sanctioned term we're using for the symbol. 29 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:36,048 Just something we've been kicking around the office. 30 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,592 But look at it. 31 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,552 Doesn't it pop? 32 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,262 Buddy Christ. 33 00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:43,389 Well, there you have it. 34 00:03:43,483 --> 00:03:45,275 Let me get this straight. 35 00:03:45,443 --> 00:03:48,570 You don't believe in God because of Alice in Wonderland? 36 00:03:48,738 --> 00:03:50,072 No, Through the Looking Glass. 37 00:03:51,449 --> 00:03:53,242 That poem, "The Walrus and the Carpenter"... 38 00:03:53,409 --> 00:03:55,327 ...is an indictment of organized religion. 39 00:03:55,495 --> 00:03:57,579 The Walrus, with his girth and good nature... 40 00:03:57,747 --> 00:03:59,707 ...he obviously represents either Buddha... 41 00:03:59,875 --> 00:04:02,669 ...or with his tusks, the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha. 42 00:04:02,837 --> 00:04:04,754 That takes care of your Eastern religions. 43 00:04:04,922 --> 00:04:07,590 Now, the Carpenter, an obvious reference to Jesus Christ... 44 00:04:07,758 --> 00:04:10,844 ...who was raised a carpenter's son, represents Western religions. 45 00:04:12,179 --> 00:04:13,763 Now, in the poem, what do they do? 46 00:04:13,931 --> 00:04:16,432 They dupe all these oysters into following them... 47 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:20,270 ...then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. 48 00:04:20,437 --> 00:04:23,273 I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says... 49 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:27,110 ...that following these faiths based on mythological figures... 50 00:04:27,278 --> 00:04:28,903 ...destroys one's inner being. 51 00:04:30,239 --> 00:04:32,115 Organized religion destroys who we are... 52 00:04:32,283 --> 00:04:35,118 ...by inhibiting our actions, by inhibiting our decisions... 53 00:04:35,286 --> 00:04:38,413 ...out of fear of some intangible parent figure... 54 00:04:38,581 --> 00:04:41,457 ...who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago... 55 00:04:41,625 --> 00:04:45,461 ...and says, "Do it... Do it and I'll f***g spank you!" 56 00:04:45,629 --> 00:04:46,880 Oh, Jesus! 57 00:04:47,047 --> 00:04:50,592 The way you put it, I've never really thought about it like that before. 58 00:04:51,510 --> 00:04:53,970 What have I been doing with my life? 59 00:04:54,972 --> 00:04:57,473 - What ** I...? - Yeah, I know. 60 00:04:57,641 --> 00:04:59,309 Listen, my advice to you... 61 00:04:59,476 --> 00:05:02,103 ...take this money you've collected for your parish... 62 00:05:02,271 --> 00:05:05,231 ...go get yourself a nice dress, you know? Fix yourself up. 63 00:05:05,399 --> 00:05:08,610 Find some man, some woman, you can connect with, even for a moment... 64 00:05:08,777 --> 00:05:12,530 ...because that's really all life is, Sister, it's a series of moments. 65 00:05:12,698 --> 00:05:14,824 Why don't you seize yours? 66 00:05:18,038 --> 00:05:20,664 Attagirl. Attagirl. 67 00:05:27,339 --> 00:05:29,340 You know, here's what I don't get about you. 68 00:05:29,507 --> 00:05:32,217 You know for a fact that there is a God. 69 00:05:32,385 --> 00:05:35,095 You've been in his presence. He's spoken to you personally. 70 00:05:35,263 --> 00:05:38,515 - Yet I heard you claim to be atheist. - I like to f***k with the clergy. 71 00:05:38,683 --> 00:05:41,936 I just love it. I love to keep those guys on their toes. 72 00:05:42,103 --> 00:05:43,771 Here's what I don't get about you. 73 00:05:43,939 --> 00:05:46,774 Why do you feel the need to come to this place all the time? 74 00:05:46,942 --> 00:05:49,360 My friend, because this is humanity at its best. 75 00:05:49,527 --> 00:05:50,569 Look at them. 76 00:05:50,737 --> 00:05:54,531 All that anger, all that mistrust, all that unhappiness... 77 00:05:54,699 --> 00:05:58,535 ...forgotten for that one perfect moment when they get off the plane. 78 00:05:58,703 --> 00:05:59,870 See those two? 79 00:06:00,038 --> 00:06:03,290 That guy doesn't know that the girl cheated on him while she was away. 80 00:06:03,458 --> 00:06:05,209 - She did? - Twice. 81 00:06:05,377 --> 00:06:07,461 - Nice. - But it doesn't matter right now... 82 00:06:07,629 --> 00:06:10,881 ...because they're just both so relieved to be with one another. 83 00:06:11,591 --> 00:06:12,841 I like that. 84 00:06:13,009 --> 00:06:15,219 I wish they could all feel that way more often. 85 00:06:15,387 --> 00:06:18,389 Is this why I had to come down here and miss my f***g cartoons? 86 00:06:18,556 --> 00:06:20,975 You call me, you tell me it's important, you know? 87 00:06:21,142 --> 00:06:24,269 What, to share in your half-assed obsession with Hallmark moments? 88 00:06:24,437 --> 00:06:26,563 We're going home. 89 00:06:26,731 --> 00:06:28,983 Somebody sent us this in the mail. 90 00:06:33,656 --> 00:06:36,908 Take it and quit leering at me. People will think I broke up with you. 91 00:06:37,076 --> 00:06:40,370 - You did just say we're going home? - Read. 92 00:06:40,538 --> 00:06:44,416 "Cardinal Glick Cuts Ribbon On Catholicism Wow! Campaign." 93 00:06:44,583 --> 00:06:46,042 And? 94 00:06:47,086 --> 00:06:49,754 You have to keep reading. 95 00:06:49,922 --> 00:06:52,007 "The rededication of St. Michael's Church"... 96 00:06:52,174 --> 00:06:53,758 is the kickoff of a new campaign... 97 00:06:53,926 --> 00:06:56,344 ...which seeks to bring Catholicism into the mainstream. 98 00:06:56,512 --> 00:06:58,763 With a papal sanction, the archway entrance... 99 00:06:58,931 --> 00:07:01,433 ...of the century-old Jersey Shore house of worship... 100 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,935 ...will serve as a passageway of plenary indulgence... 101 00:07:04,103 --> 00:07:07,439 ...a little-known Catholic belief offering all that passes through it... 102 00:07:07,606 --> 00:07:09,274 ...a morally clean slate. 103 00:07:09,442 --> 00:07:12,527 For Sunday News Brief, I'm Grant Hicks. 104 00:07:12,695 --> 00:07:16,156 All I gotta do, I walk through the arch thing, and then I can go back home? 105 00:07:16,323 --> 00:07:19,617 No. By walking through the archway, all your sins are forgiven. 106 00:07:19,785 --> 00:07:22,370 - Then all we have to do is die. - Die? I don't wanna die. 107 00:07:22,538 --> 00:07:26,166 - You rather hang around here? - No. We don't know if we can die. 108 00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:29,335 But what if we can and then the arch thing doesn't work? 109 00:07:29,503 --> 00:07:31,087 What then, hell? F***k that. 110 00:07:31,255 --> 00:07:33,214 It's impossible. If we cut off our wings... 111 00:07:33,382 --> 00:07:36,718 ...and transubstantiate to complete human form, we become mortal. 112 00:07:36,886 --> 00:07:39,262 If we die with clean souls, they can't keep us out. 113 00:07:39,430 --> 00:07:42,474 We won't be angels anymore, but at least we get to go home. 114 00:07:42,641 --> 00:07:45,852 - Who sent the paper? - Who cares who sent the paper? 115 00:07:46,020 --> 00:07:49,148 All that matters is that after all these years, we found a loophole. 116 00:07:49,316 --> 00:07:50,816 He can't keep us out anymore. 117 00:07:50,984 -->...