The.Art.of.Love.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:16,600 [upbeat music playing] 2 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:56,440 Sorry I'm late, love. 3 00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:58,400 That's all right. 4 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,040 This is what you get when people start working from home. 5 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,000 See you next week. 6 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:05,920 [upbeat music continues] 7 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:16,720 How ** I doing, Susie? 8 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:20,360 [watch] You have a performance drop of seven percent compared to yesterday. 9 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,000 Keep pushing hard. 10 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,600 -Best driver in town. -Gonna need a hand, mate. 11 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:38,760 -D***n. -These things don't get any smaller. 12 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,480 [machine whirring] 13 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,120 [moaning, groaning] 14 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:56,280 [soft music playing] 15 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:04,760 [sighs] Bugger. 16 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:06,680 [machine whirring] 17 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,160 [groaning] 18 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:14,680 [machine] O***m complete. 19 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,880 -I'm sorry about the mess. -No problem. 20 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,160 [register beeping] 21 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,680 The usual? 22 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:43,240 [tv chattering] 23 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,000 [thumping] 24 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:49,840 [whispers] God. 25 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:58,240 Lovely, darling. 26 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:02,880 [chuckles] 27 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,200 [tv chattering continues] 28 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:13,800 [upbeat music playing] 29 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:17,920 -Hope you enjoy it. -Thank you. 30 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,800 -What's your name, darling? -Peggy. 31 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:23,320 Peggy? Oh, that's a beautiful name. I used to have a cat called Peggy. 32 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,120 -[both chuckle] -Enjoy. 33 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:31,040 And to what pretty name ** I dedicating this? 34 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,200 It's a birthday gift. Her name's Angela. 35 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,520 Her name's Angela? 36 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,160 Well, I hope Angela enjoys it. 37 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,280 -Hello, mate. -Hello, big fan. 38 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,120 Oh, good, good, grand. 39 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:50,560 Hey. 40 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,000 You just signed a gift for a friend. 41 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,000 [grunts] You guys always say that: "For a friend." 42 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,880 -You don't believe me. -No. 43 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:02,760 Do you think she'd prefer bath oils? 44 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:07,920 -What would you prefer? -The thing is: I don't like plastic. 45 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,600 [moaning, groaning] 46 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:33,440 [water running] Shall I call you an Uber? 47 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:34,760 [soft music playing] 48 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,600 [tv chattering] 49 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,040 [mysterious music playing] 50 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,520 [machine whirring] 51 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,600 [machine popping] 52 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,000 [sighs] 53 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:11,160 Goldfinger… 54 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:22,400 Good morning people! It's your boy Adam Kowinski. 55 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:25,680 It's another beautiful day in a beautiful city, 56 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,440 and have I g***t news for you! 57 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,200 Now, believe it or not, yesterday I had the prototype 58 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:34,560 for the brand new XT-5 dangling around my loins. 59 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:37,760 In a nutshell: This thing rocks! 60 00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:40,560 Now firstly, this is as real as it gets. 61 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:44,000 Secondly, the toy also reacts to the movement of your hips. 62 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:47,520 And if you throw in some extra pounding, you get a bit more bang for your buck. 63 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,000 Not to mention: A free workout. 64 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:53,000 I'm sure you guys love training thighs and tight arses. 65 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,880 Speaking of tight arses, the jeans I'm wearing: 66 00:06:55,960 --> 00:07:01,400 Now you guys can get these bad boys with a 15% discount at Lola's. 67 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,720 Just use the code: "Adam sent me." 68 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,920 That's all for today guys, signing off. 69 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:11,840 And do not forget: I love you all. Peace. 70 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:19,640 [gentle music playing] 71 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:01,560 [bike engine roaring] 72 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,960 [people cheering, applauding] 73 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:22,880 Hi everybody, and welcome to the 'Art of Love' Tester Conference! 74 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:28,640 Now please, give it up for our beloved host, 75 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,680 Mister Hector! 76 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,600 [crowd cheering, applauding] 77 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,000 [upbeat music playing] 78 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:07,240 [sighs] 79 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:11,440 Three months ago, I had a vision. 80 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,240 [crowd applauding] 81 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:18,640 A vision that we, all together, could improve love lives worldwide. 82 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:23,640 Yes, brother! That is something worth cheering for. 83 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:27,760 Because today, I'm gonna give all you lovely people, 84 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,680 all you valued members of our big, happy family 85 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,600 something to really cheer for. 86 00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:35,960 [crowd applauding] 87 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,160 The "Art of Love." 88 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,440 The "Art of Love!" 89 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,440 Today is the day we say goodbye to the s***x toy, 90 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:54,040 and we say "hello" to the love toy! 91 00:09:56,720 --> 00:10:03,120 Three years ago, the UK government appointed a minister for loneliness. 92 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,320 Because according to a recent survey, 93 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:10,840 nine million people of all ages feel lonely and unloved. 94 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:14,720 And that, my family, is in England alone. 95 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,800 [crowd murmuring] 96 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,120 The love toy is the salvation! 97 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,560 [crowd cheering, applauding] 98 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:26,760 So the love toy will not only fulfill your wildest fantasy, 99 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,200 the love toy will love you for who you are. 100 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:31,600 And with the love toy, 101 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:37,840 you will never be lonely again. 102 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,840 In six months' time, 103 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:45,440 we will present the ultimate love toy at the Venus Conference in Berlin! 104 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,400 [crowd cheering, applauding] 105 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:52,080 -[gentle music playing] -[people chattering] 106 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,480 [woman groaning] 107 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,080 [woman grunting] 108 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:22,880 Have you tested "Adam’s Pleasure" by any chance? 109 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,120 -"Adam’s…" what? -"Adam’s Pleasure." 110 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:31,040 He's g***t his own signature line. Those things have his exact dimensions. 111 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:34,480 My wife says he's the best she's ever had. [chuckles] 112 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:38,360 Right. 113 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:39,720 [clock tolling] 114 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:43,120 For those of you who have been with us for a while, 115 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,960 you'll know that each year, 116 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:49,560 as a company, we pay special tribute to outstanding achievements. 117 00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:54,000 So, this year, the "Art of Love" Award 118 00:11:54,080 --> 00:12:00,600 goes to a person who supports our cause with incomparable dedication and loyalty. 119 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:02,680 For six years running, 120 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:07,480 this person has amassed more test hours than all of us! 121 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,360 [crowd cheering, applauding] 122 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:13,640 Ladies and gentlemen, go mad for, 123 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:20,240 give it up for Mister Love himself, Adam Kowinski! 124 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,960 -[crowd cheering, applauding] -[upbeat music playing] 125 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,120 Well done brother, you deserve it. 126 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,320 Keep up the good work, I'm very proud of you, okay? 127 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:49,120 So now, this year, I'm gonna be super cheeky 128 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,000 and give out a second award! 129 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,920 The second award goes to a person who understands human longing 130 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,720 and sexual fantasies… 131 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,000 like no other. 132 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:04,960 Not only has she extensively tested the toys 133 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:08,520 but she has provided them with a soul. 134 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:13,000 Her test reports are beautiful. 135 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:16,280 In fact, they are so beautiful 136 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:19,760 that we have used them as product descriptions on our packaging. 137 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:25,920 And this has resulted in an overwhelming increase in sales! 138 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:31,600 And she's been with us only for five months, already a rising star. 139 00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:37,000 Ladies and gentlemen, make lots of noise, give it up for Eva Parker! 140 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,720 -[crowd cheering, applauding] -[upbeat music playing] 141 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,880 Welcome to the family, darling. 142 00:14:08,040...