Frequently.Asked.Questions.About.Time.Travel Movie Subtitles

1 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,312 Time travel. 2 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:38,272 It'll turn your brain into spaghetti if you let it. 3 00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:40,276 Best not to think about it. 4 00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:43,357 Best just to get on with the job in hand, 5 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,755 which is destroying the enemy before they're even born 6 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,950 and have a chance to threaten us. 7 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,673 We're expecting any resistance to be light, 8 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:54,315 as the ancestors of our enemies have yet to evolve any thumbs, 9 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,316 or indeed spines. 10 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:59,595 But that does not change the fact that they may one day 11 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,598 evolve into a species that may pose a threat to us. 12 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:06,235 And for that reason we are going to rain down a fiery death upon them, 13 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:09,989 that will turn the surface of their planet into a radioactive desert 14 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:14,238 because we are the Planetary Peace Corps and that is what we do! 15 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:22,518 Now, are you nappy-wearing motherfuckers ready to lock and load and get it on?! 16 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,879 What? No-no-no-no! Shh! 17 00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:35,469 Look, it's not even a real gun! Ooh! 18 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,353 Ooh! Look at all the lights! 19 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,228 - Liftoff. - Shut up! 20 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:10,309 Due to technical difficulties, the Star Ride is closed until further notice. 21 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:18,035 Due to technical difficulties, the Star Ride is closed until further notice. 22 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,276 Two for one at Dinoburger. 23 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,720 Two for one at Dinoburger. 24 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,320 It doesn't even make any sense. Why would we do this? 25 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:29,271 Toby, don't start. 26 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,359 All right, love? Two for one at Dinoburger. 27 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,756 We're encouraging people to eat dinosaurs, to eat us, you know. 28 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,598 - Why would we do that? - We're not real dinosaurs. 29 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:42,428 - We should be dressed as cavemen. - Tobe, why do you always do this? 30 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:43,993 You were the same on the Ghost Train. 31 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:48,431 That wasn't logical, either. Werewolves and vampires are natural enemies. 32 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:51,870 There is no way they would team up to attack a train. 33 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,069 Stop thinking! 34 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:54,838 - Yeah... - And talking! 35 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,591 Yeah, you're right actually. 36 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:01,349 We can't think much, cos a dinosaur's brain is only the size of a walnut. 37 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,630 As far as talking goes, it's just like... 38 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:12,519 Tobe, Tobe, Toby! 39 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:16,109 Stop it! You want to be careful you don't get lost in the role. 40 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,435 I heard of this one guy over on the Star Ride. 41 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,630 Actually thought he was a Space Ranger. 42 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,399 Traumatised a load of kids. They sacked him. 43 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:26,910 Oh, hello, Ray. Didn't see you there. 44 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,349 Pete. Tobe. 45 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,231 - It was a crappy job, anyway. - Yeah. 46 00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:33,475 - Loser. - Says the man dressed as a dinosaur. 47 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:41,480 So, what are you gonna do? 48 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:44,478 I don't know. I was thinking about maybe moving back home, 49 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:47,830 - taking that job at my uncle's place. - Why do you wanna do that? 50 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,314 - We can get you another job here. - Where? 51 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:54,112 Barry Burp's Bubble Ride? Get you a job there easy. 52 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:57,675 - High turnover cos of the chlorine in the eyes. - Hmm! It is tempting. 53 00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:00,996 But there should be more to life than dressing up as a bubble. 54 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:04,836 Maybe it's time to get real. 55 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,154 So... 56 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:11,596 In an ideal world, what would be your perfect job? 57 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:15,155 - I don't know. Comic shop? - Oh, come on. Think bigger. 58 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,350 Astronaut? 59 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,550 Yeah, cool! 60 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:24,720 But I mean your absolute dream job? I mean, if there was... no limit. 61 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,239 No limits? 62 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:28,350 Well, it's obvious. 63 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:29,469 It's g***t to be Time Lord. 64 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:33,718 Oh, come to daddy! Ooh. What's that? 65 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:37,116 - Four minutes, 32. - That's bollocks. You led him on. 66 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:38,593 - What's this? - It's a bet. 67 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,632 He reckons you'll mention time travel in under five minutes. 68 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,511 You're making bets on me? 69 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,676 On the day I get fired, you're making bets on me? 70 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,312 He did. I didn't want to. 71 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:49,918 I do talk about other things. 72 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:52,076 What? Like sky-fi? 73 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:57,718 How many times? It's not "sci-fi", Pete, it's "science fiction", 74 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:01,036 or "SF", which can also stand for "speculative fiction". 75 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:03,992 Jesus. And you wonder why you can't get laid. 76 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:05,712 I can! 77 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:07,079 I do. 78 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,594 Some girls are into science fiction. 79 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:14,918 You see, that's your problem, Ray. Your ideal girl is you. 80 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,393 With t***s. 81 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,756 In fact, your ideal girl is him. 82 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,912 I object to that! 83 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:30,671 Now that was a s***t film. Someone should write and complain. 84 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:33,109 "Dear Hollywood, you're s***t." 85 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,913 How hard can it be to make a film that doesn't s***k? 86 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,916 I've g***t millions of great ideas. 87 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:39,757 - Like what? - What? 88 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,109 Come on, I wanna hear one of your great ideas. 89 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:43,309 OK. 90 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,633 Right. 91 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,359 Prepare to be amazed. 92 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,709 Ninja Yodeller. 93 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,274 Are you just, like, saying random words, Tobe? 94 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,357 No. Yodeller by day, ninja by night, you see? 95 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:04,837 Oh, yeah, because the other way around would be really stupid. 96 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,872 No, you've g***t like ninjas who are really quiet, yeah? 97 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:11,230 Yodellers, really loud. There's a conflict for the character. 98 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,191 Torn between two worlds. 99 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,674 He's really thought about this. 100 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:19,679 OK, you know the way sometimes you come up with a really s***t idea 101 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,439 like on purpose, to try and test us out? 102 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:23,833 Yeah? 103 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,313 Is this one? 104 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,709 Yeah, you g***t me. 105 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,272 - Nearly had you, though. - And him. 106 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,709 - Yeah. - Ninja yodeller. 107 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,273 Ninja yodeller. 108 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:39,869 - How is your real script going? - I'm doing most of the work up here. 109 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,196 Besides, every writer needs to get out in the real world. 110 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:46,915 Have some experiences, fresh ones, to enrich his work. 111 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:51,829 Really? I thought a writer needed to stay in and write. 112 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,997 Yeah. That's the eternal enigma of creativity. 113 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,315 We should discuss it. In the pub. 114 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:58,554 - Give me that. - Oi! 115 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:01,034 Oh, you thieving get! 116 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:03,799 - I said that! - All great writers steal. 117 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,831 - Oh! Ray said that? - What? 118 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:07,598 Give it to me. Give me my book. 119 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:09,039 Come on! 120 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:15,835 You'll see. One day I'll be famous and then you'll be sorry. 121 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:24,432 "Dear Hollywood, please stop making so many crappy movies. 122 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,233 "Here are a few tips to help you out. 123 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:31,592 "One: story is king. Always has been, always will be." 124 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:34,791 - This is eating into our drinking time. - OK. 125 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,308 Er, remakes, Jude Law... 126 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,512 "Han shot first. 127 00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:45,315 "More Firefly...