Appropriate.Behavior.2014.LIMITED.DVDRip.x264-PSYCHD Movie Subtitles

1 00:01:30,621 --> 00:01:32,689 Don't forget this. 2 00:01:32,723 --> 00:01:35,259 That was a present for you. 3 00:01:35,293 --> 00:01:37,427 I don't feel comfortable holding on to it. 4 00:01:37,462 --> 00:01:39,729 What ** I supposed to do with it? 5 00:01:39,765 --> 00:01:41,832 Throw it away. 6 00:01:42,968 --> 00:01:44,402 Fine. 7 00:02:26,677 --> 00:02:28,513 We were an "it" couple. 8 00:02:28,546 --> 00:02:30,314 Not really. 9 00:02:30,348 --> 00:02:32,567 Like when we'd go to parties and there was dancing, 10 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:34,067 we'd start dancing and everyone would 11 00:02:34,102 --> 00:02:36,920 make a circle around us and watch us dance. 12 00:02:36,954 --> 00:02:39,372 Okay. 13 00:02:40,643 --> 00:02:42,526 Okay, why don't you tell me 14 00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:44,829 what you need, Shirin? 15 00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:47,199 I need my girlfriend back. 16 00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:48,682 Dude, I really think 17 00:02:48,716 --> 00:02:52,219 you just need to mourn this and move on. 18 00:02:52,253 --> 00:02:54,305 I really want to eat my feelings right now. 19 00:02:54,338 --> 00:02:56,424 You know what? I think that's an amazing idea. 20 00:02:56,459 --> 00:02:59,627 Why don't we order all the fatty, disgusting foods 21 00:02:59,661 --> 00:03:00,995 we never let ourselves eat? 22 00:03:01,030 --> 00:03:02,197 Okay. 23 00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:03,865 Hey, girls. How you doin' today? 24 00:03:03,899 --> 00:03:06,099 Hey. Fantastic. 25 00:03:06,134 --> 00:03:07,868 And you? Uh, what's your name? 26 00:03:07,902 --> 00:03:09,537 Brendan. Brendan. 27 00:03:09,570 --> 00:03:10,805 Hey, I'm crystal. 28 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,673 Hey, crystal. What can I get you today? 29 00:03:12,707 --> 00:03:13,925 Um, let me see. 30 00:03:13,959 --> 00:03:16,760 I would love an... 31 00:03:16,795 --> 00:03:18,579 Unsweetened glass of iced tea. 32 00:03:18,612 --> 00:03:20,281 No problem. Thank you. 33 00:03:20,314 --> 00:03:21,365 And can I just have one of those complimentary mints 34 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,867 I saw by the entrance and a glass of ice water 35 00:03:23,902 --> 00:03:26,320 and a little bit of lemon in there. 36 00:03:26,323 --> 00:03:27,254 Okay. 37 00:03:27,288 --> 00:03:30,623 Thank you so much. Thanks, Brendan. 38 00:03:30,658 --> 00:03:32,360 Mmm, delish. 39 00:03:32,394 --> 00:03:35,045 Mmm, can't wait. 40 00:03:36,481 --> 00:03:38,550 I'm dead inside. 41 00:03:38,584 --> 00:03:40,418 Can you tell just by looking at me 42 00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:41,453 that I'm dead inside? 43 00:03:41,486 --> 00:03:43,555 I really think you had to end it. 44 00:03:43,588 --> 00:03:46,774 I mean, she wasn't even f***g you towards the end. 45 00:03:46,807 --> 00:03:48,759 Maybe it was a phase. 46 00:03:50,329 --> 00:03:51,829 Thanks, Brendan. 47 00:03:56,550 --> 00:03:58,635 How about "Giraffe"? 48 00:03:58,670 --> 00:04:00,371 What about "safe word"? 49 00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:02,674 Like the word "safe word" as our safe word? 50 00:04:02,707 --> 00:04:04,192 Let's cut out the middleman, 51 00:04:04,225 --> 00:04:06,326 'cause what happens if you forget your safe word? 52 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,228 Okay, then, the safe word is "safe word." 53 00:04:08,263 --> 00:04:09,813 Great. Let's do this. 54 00:04:09,848 --> 00:04:11,382 What's the scenario? 55 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:13,600 I'm your tax auditor. 56 00:04:15,670 --> 00:04:16,855 Okay. 57 00:04:16,889 --> 00:04:19,706 Miss? Yes? 58 00:04:19,740 --> 00:04:23,744 Can you please fill out this form? 59 00:04:23,778 --> 00:04:25,879 All right. 60 00:04:34,488 --> 00:04:36,656 Miss? Yes? 61 00:04:36,691 --> 00:04:39,192 I've been a bad small-business owner. 62 00:04:39,226 --> 00:04:40,944 What seems to be the problem? 63 00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:42,579 I don't have any of my receipts 64 00:04:42,613 --> 00:04:44,781 from June until August, 65 00:04:44,816 --> 00:04:47,185 and I'm gonna have to be punished. 66 00:04:47,218 --> 00:04:49,519 That's actually easily remedied. 67 00:04:49,555 --> 00:04:52,156 If you'll just fill in the larger expenses in Section C 68 00:04:52,189 --> 00:04:53,358 and cross-check them with Section B. 69 00:04:53,391 --> 00:04:54,192 Maxine. What? 70 00:04:54,225 --> 00:04:56,461 You are killing the s***y. 71 00:04:56,495 --> 00:04:57,562 I'm just-- 72 00:04:57,596 --> 00:04:59,896 I'm not into role play. 73 00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:01,733 That's-- that's okay. 74 00:05:01,766 --> 00:05:03,367 I'm vanilla. 75 00:05:03,401 --> 00:05:04,502 Don't say that. 76 00:05:04,536 --> 00:05:06,805 It true. I'm not kinky. 77 00:05:06,838 --> 00:05:08,656 Hey. 78 00:05:09,975 --> 00:05:11,810 Look at me. 79 00:05:11,843 --> 00:05:14,946 I like vanilla. 80 00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:16,915 I'm not really in the mood. 81 00:05:16,949 --> 00:05:18,582 I'm sorry. 82 00:05:19,851 --> 00:05:21,586 It's okay. 83 00:05:37,536 --> 00:05:39,170 Banal s***x shouldn't start 84 00:05:39,204 --> 00:05:41,889 until at least a year into a relationship. 85 00:05:41,923 --> 00:05:43,957 I moved in too soon. 86 00:05:43,992 --> 00:05:46,194 When are you going back to work? 87 00:05:46,228 --> 00:05:47,593 I'm not. 88 00:05:47,629 --> 00:05:49,029 No! 89 00:05:49,064 --> 00:05:50,997 The only reason they hired me in the first place 90 00:05:51,033 --> 00:05:52,365 is 'cause they wanted 91 00:05:52,399 --> 00:05:53,867 a middle eastern person on staff. 92 00:05:53,901 --> 00:05:55,401 Now that Yahveh's in editorial, 93 00:05:55,437 --> 00:05:57,271 everyone's gushing over how Syrian she is. 94 00:05:57,305 --> 00:05:59,941 I'm not letting you fall into a bottomless pit 95 00:05:59,975 --> 00:06:03,610 of despair and unemployment on my couch. 96 00:06:03,644 --> 00:06:05,012 Nothing brings me joy. 97 00:06:05,047 --> 00:06:08,449 Well... I think this guy I know is hiring. 98 00:06:08,483 --> 00:06:09,783 Let me talk to him. 99 00:06:09,817 --> 00:06:10,884 And are you gonna go look 100 00:06:10,918 --> 00:06:12,353 at that apartment in Bushwick later? 101 00:06:12,387 --> 00:06:14,021 I can't. I have to go see my parents. 102 00:06:14,055 --> 00:06:16,023 Oh, my God! Can I come? 103 00:06:16,057 --> 00:06:17,725 Your dad is so hot. 104 00:06:17,759 --> 00:06:19,726 I just want to, like, paint him. 105 00:06:19,761 --> 00:06:21,329 Ugh, no. 106 00:06:21,362 --> 00:06:23,797 That is exactly why you cannot come. 107 00:06:23,831 --> 00:06:26,434 So, uh... 108 00:06:26,468 --> 00:06:28,870 So, in the afternoon, I took an appendix, 109 00:06:28,903 --> 00:06:31,271 and I rewired it on this kid 110 00:06:31,305 --> 00:06:34,042 who had no control of his own urine. 111 00:06:34,076 --> 00:06:35,343 Stop. Wow. 112 00:06:35,377 --> 00:06:36,644 No, no, no, we made him dry. 113 00:06:36,677 --> 00:06:38,478 But now he has to pee out of his belly button. 114 00:06:38,514 --> 00:06:39,613 Please stop. 115 00:06:39,648 --> 00:06:41,865 This is fascinating. Not while we're eating. 116 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,850 Yeah, it can wait until after, right? Okay. 117 00:06:43,886 --> 00:06:44,802 Did you see Ali's picture 118 00:06:44,836 --> 00:06:46,437 of the s***x-reassignment surgery? 119 00:06:46,471 --> 00:06:47,971 No, I didn't, 'cause I deleted it the minute 120 00:06:48,005 --> 00:06:50,841 I read "intestine vagina" in the subject. 121 00:06:50,875 --> 00:06:52,358 They're interesting pictures. Yeah, they are. 122 00:06:52,394 --> 00:06:53,995 Show them. Please don't do this. 123 00:06:54,028 --> 00:06:55,161 I don't understand why 124 00:06:55,196 --> 00:06:56,581 he had to go into urology. 125 00:06:56,615 --> 00:06:58,014 It's because he loves the penises so much. 126 00:06:58,050 --> 00:06:59,382 Funny, dad. 127 00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:00,735 Here you go. Check it out. Ugh! 128 00:07:00,769 --> 00:07:02,086 Oh, my God. What? 129 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,637 Take a look at it. You're not even looking at it. 130 00:07:03,672 --> 00:07:04,788 Please put that away. 131 00:07:04,822 --> 00:07:05,689 I don't want to see it. 132 00:07:05,723 --> 00:07:06,874 She doesn't want to see it. 133 00:07:06,908 --> 00:07:08,925 Put it away. Okay, suit yourself. 134 00:07:08,959 --> 00:07:11,478 Layli. Yes? 135 00:07:11,512 --> 00:07:14,499 Ali says that you just started your fellowship. 136 00:07:14,533 --> 00:07:15,932 That's right. 137 00:07:15,966 --> 00:07:17,401 Plastic surgery. 138 00:07:17,435 --> 00:07:18,470 Mm-hmm. 139 00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:20,855 Isn't it weird, though? 140 00:07:20,889 --> 00:07:22,572 Like, he's dealing 141 00:07:22,606 --> 00:07:24,175 with life-and-death situations every day, 142 00:07:24,209 --> 00:07:26,944 and then you're with these middle-aged housewives 143 00:07:26,978 --> 00:07:29,896 with low self-esteem. 144 00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:31,848 Layli is a pediatric 145 00:07:31,884 --> 00:07:33,750 reconstructive plastic surgeon. 146 00:07:33,784 --> 00:07:35,519 I actually-- Uh, I specialize 147 00:07:35,553 --> 00:07:38,372 in burn treatment and skin grafting. 148 00:07:39,742 --> 00:07:41,108 Cool. 149 00:07:41,143 --> 00:07:44,262 I heard you are working at "The Brooklyn Paper." 150 00:07:44,295 --> 00:07:45,629 Yeah. 151 00:07:45,663 -->...