Directors.Cut.2016.WEBRip.x264-ION10 Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:27,244 --> 00:00:29,594 HERBERT: Hello. I'm Herbert Blount. 2 00:00:29,638 --> 00:00:32,380 B-L-O-U-N-T. 3 00:00:32,423 --> 00:00:34,208 Welcome to my director's commentary 4 00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:37,907 of my director's cut of Knocked Off. 5 00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:41,867 You're watching my director's cut, not this other guy's. 6 00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:46,220 And my director's cut stars Missi Pyle. 7 00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:49,136 She is the greatest movie star that has ever lived. 8 00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:51,790 It was my honor to work with her. 9 00:00:51,834 --> 00:00:53,270 I realized right away 10 00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:55,229 she was the greatest actress of our time 11 00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:58,319 when I first saw her in Galaxy Quest. 12 00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:00,321 But, she's fantastic in all the other 13 00:01:00,364 --> 00:01:03,585 119 movies she's starred in too. 14 00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:05,239 Now my friend, Sam? 15 00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:08,720 He says that this cut of the movie you're about to see 16 00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:11,636 is a fan edit, but that term doesn't apply here. 17 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,944 I'm not a fan. I'm...I'm a director. 18 00:01:14,987 --> 00:01:16,293 And in my director's cut, 19 00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:18,513 I'm gonna share everything. 20 00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:20,036 I'll show you what I did, 21 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,299 and I'll tell you how I did it. 22 00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:24,519 These days, you don't need to waste money 23 00:01:24,562 --> 00:01:26,956 on film school anymore. 24 00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:29,001 The greatest filmmakers of our time 25 00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:32,048 have been sharing all their secrets with their 26 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:35,138 director's cuts, special features, and commentaries. 27 00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:38,098 And I've seen every single one of them. 28 00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:40,056 And now that I'm a filmmaker, 29 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,972 it's my duty to pass this knowledge on to you, 30 00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:44,974 the next generation. 31 00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:47,585 It's called paying it forward. 32 00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:50,719 Another guy started this movie, 33 00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:53,591 but I felt I had to take it over. 34 00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,767 I obtained all the footage, 35 00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:58,683 and took charge of the edit of this movie myself 36 00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:01,860 to create my ultimate director's cut. 37 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:09,216 some deleted scenes that should never have been deleted, 38 00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:12,871 and some previously unseen behind-the-scenes footage. 39 00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:16,310 This version is way better than the theatrical cut 40 00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:18,007 that came out a few years ago. 41 00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:19,051 [scoffs] No wonder it bombed! 42 00:02:20,618 --> 00:02:22,185 This movie was crowdfunded, 43 00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:25,232 and I started out as one of the crowdfunders. 44 00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:28,104 For those of you who don't know what crowdfunding is, 45 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:31,238 it's where filmmakers go directly to the fans online 46 00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:33,414 to fund their movie. 47 00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:35,590 You know, like Kickstarter. 48 00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:38,288 Some crowdfunders contributed a smaller amount of money, 49 00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:40,464 and they g***t a t-shirt. 50 00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:43,032 Some people contributed larger amounts of money, 51 00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:46,427 and g***t things like a screen credit, or even a line in the movie. 52 00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:48,994 I bought the "Executive Producer" credit package. 53 00:02:49,038 --> 00:02:50,387 See? Blount. 54 00:02:50,431 --> 00:02:53,216 B-L-O-U-N-T. 55 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,479 God bless crowdfunding. 56 00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:59,570 Even though there were all these other crowdfunders 57 00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:01,920 who bought executive producer credits, 58 00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:05,359 I was the only one on set all 32 days of the shooting. 59 00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:07,578 I take filmmaking very seriously. 60 00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:08,666 It's my calling. 61 00:03:10,059 --> 00:03:11,930 As you can see by all these names, 62 00:03:11,974 --> 00:03:14,150 film's a collaborative medium. 63 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,327 But at the end of the day, there's only one director. 64 00:03:17,762 --> 00:03:20,112 I spent a lot of time fixing this movie. 65 00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:23,290 That's why I'm the director. 66 00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,335 This is my movie now. 67 00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:28,120 Close your eyes for a moment and think about that. 68 00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:32,473 Close your eyes riiiiight now. 69 00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:37,217 Okay. Open your eyes. 70 00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:39,219 My director's cut is starting. 71 00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:41,525 [police sirens wailing] 72 00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:49,968 HERBERT: We all remember the long, single Steadicam shot 73 00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:52,971 in Orson Welles' classic Touch of Evil, or Birdman. 74 00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:55,104 [gate buzzes opens] Get that down. 75 00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:58,325 HERBERT: I have one, too. Mine has a prostitute. 76 00:03:58,368 --> 00:04:00,109 Do you even know who I **, huh? 77 00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:01,806 I just f***d the mayor last week, okay? 78 00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:03,460 -Yeah, yeah. -This should not be allowed! 79 00:04:03,504 --> 00:04:06,289 -We g***t a wild hooker over here. -I'm almost an American citizen! 80 00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:07,769 [chains clanking] 81 00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:09,205 HERBERT: She's not a real prostitute. 82 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,468 I asked her, and she g***t a little mad. 83 00:04:11,512 --> 00:04:13,731 She's actually one of our crowdfunders. 84 00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:16,691 She paid to be in this movie. 85 00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:18,606 Back in the old days of Hollywood, 86 00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:20,129 if you wanted to be an actor, 87 00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:21,522 you'd have to enroll in acting school, 88 00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:25,090 and go on lots of auditions, and get lucky. 89 00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:28,268 But nowadays, all you have to do is PayPal $500 90 00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:30,313 to a crowdfunding site. 91 00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:32,663 Poof! You're an actor! 92 00:04:33,098 --> 00:04:35,318 Most of these cops, they're crowdfunders too. 93 00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:38,103 They bought the Be A Cop package. 94 00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:39,801 F***g pig! 95 00:04:39,844 --> 00:04:43,108 And my policy is, I don't take s***t from assholes like you. 96 00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:45,328 HERBERT: See this guy? He's not a crowdfunder. 97 00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:46,851 This is Harry Hamlin. 98 00:04:46,895 --> 00:04:51,247 He's only in movies because his wife is on a reality show. 99 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,555 His character is Godfrey, who is often called God. 100 00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:57,862 He's a police detective who doesn't play by the rules. 101 00:04:57,906 --> 00:04:59,560 He doesn't take guff from anyone. 102 00:04:59,603 --> 00:05:01,953 Real police take guff from everyone. 103 00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:03,477 They really do. 104 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,088 But, God doesn't take guff from The Man. 105 00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:09,265 Which is creative, because real police are The Man. 106 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,833 Can I just say one thing? Yeah. 107 00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:14,139 [sarcastically chuckles, then shouts] F***k you! 108 00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:15,532 [phone slams down] 109 00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:17,099 I'm a big fan of the-- 110 00:05:17,142 --> 00:05:18,492 HERBERT: That's his partner, Reed, right there. 111 00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:20,276 They tryin' to repossess your piece of s***t car again? 112 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,452 No, it's the f***g satellite TV people. 113 00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:24,846 That f***r telling me to watch my language? 114 00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:27,762 If it weren't for swearing there wouldn't be any cable TV, right? 115 00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:31,026 Right. We were okay with the county gambling away our pensions 116 00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:34,116 but when it comes to talking politely to the few people remaining 117 00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:36,074 still making less than us? Forget it. 118 00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:37,815 Yeah. Fuckin' assholes. 119 00:05:37,859 --> 00:05:40,209 HERBERT: Keep your eye on that clock on the wall. 120 00:05:40,252 --> 00:05:41,950 It's 8:05, right? 121 00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:43,430 Wait a minute. 122 00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:44,909 HERBERT: Watch this. Keep watchin'. 123 00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:47,347 Wh-What was that about gambling away our pensions? 124 00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:50,567 HERBERT: And see? Now it's 8:25! 125 00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:52,134 Forget it, Godfrey. 126 00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:53,440 You're right; she's an a***e. 127 00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:57,095 HERBERT: It's the fault of the continuity person. 128 00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:00,534 There are mistakes just as bad 129 00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:02,884 in Hitchcock and Spielberg movies. 130 00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:05,495 Maybe we all had the same continuity person. 131 00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:07,192 What the f***k?! 132 00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:12,241 Didn't I fire you guys?! 133 00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:15,679 Well, last week, but we didn't think you really meant it. 134 00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:16,941 So, we've still been showing up for work. 135 00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:18,247 Yeah. 136 00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:19,944 HERBERT: Usually, the police captain in movies 137 00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:23,339 is an exasperated African-American man. 138 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,862 But, we went with the lady from Insidious. 139 00:06:24,906 -->...