Confessions.From.A.Holiday.Camp.1977.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX] Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:42,251 ♪ Last year we took a chance 4 00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:44,211 ♪ And went to Paris, France 5 00:00:44,295 --> 00:00:46,213 ♪ But all the can-cannin' girls 6 00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:48,841 ♪ Led us quite a dance 7 00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:50,718 ♪ The Folies Bergeries 8 00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,595 ♪ Ain't all they seem to be 9 00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,555 ♪ 'Cause when a girl says, "No, no" 10 00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:57,641 ♪ She means, "Ooh arr, oui, oui !" 11 00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:01,645 ♪ So give me England every time, my dear 12 00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:06,025 ♪ Give me England any time of year 13 00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:08,819 ♪ Come on, everybody, raise a cheer 14 00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:10,404 ♪ Far and near 15 00:01:10,488 --> 00:01:12,448 ♪ For the birds and the booze 16 00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:15,284 ♪ Now that summer's here 17 00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:18,871 ♪ And when bouzoukis played 18 00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:20,664 ♪ A Grecian serenade 19 00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,708 ♪ We shed a tear in our beer 20 00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:25,211 ♪ For the price we paid 21 00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:29,173 ♪ "This ain't no place to be" 22 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,092 ♪ Complained old Timmy Lea 23 00:01:31,175 --> 00:01:32,551 ♪ "Ain't g***t no bingo 24 00:01:32,635 --> 00:01:36,055 ♪ "The lingo's all Greek to me!" 25 00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:40,142 ♪ So give me England every time, my dear 26 00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:43,771 ♪ Give me England any time of year 27 00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:47,233 ♪ Come on, everybody, raise a cheer 28 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:48,859 ♪ Far and near 29 00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:50,945 ♪ For the birds and the booze 30 00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:53,531 ♪ Now that summer's here 31 00:01:55,366 --> 00:01:57,326 ♪ I'll never go again 32 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,245 ♪ Across to sunny Spain 33 00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:01,330 ♪ To serenade a señorita 34 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,124 ♪ 'Neath her window pane ♪ 35 00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:05,584 "Come on down here, my little flower." 36 00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:07,545 ♪ What a palaver 37 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,421 ♪ On the Costa Brava 38 00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:11,590 ♪ I didn't know the matador 39 00:02:11,674 --> 00:02:13,467 ♪ Was her father ♪ 40 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:19,056 ♪ So give me England every time, my dear 41 00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:22,643 ♪ Give me England any time of year 42 00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:26,021 ♪ Come on, everybody, raise a cheer 43 00:02:26,105 --> 00:02:27,189 ♪ Far and near 44 00:02:27,273 --> 00:02:29,400 ♪ For the birds and the booze 45 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,777 ♪ Now that summer's here 46 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:37,575 ♪ In 1970, we went to Italy 47 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,743 ♪ To sample all the delights 48 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:42,288 ♪ Down in Napoli ♪ 49 00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,083 ♪ The signorinas there 50 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,877 ♪ Could not be keener there 51 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,920 ♪ But I've a scar from her pa 52 00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:52,715 ♪ To prove I've been to there 53 00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:57,219 ♪ So give me England every time, my dear 54 00:02:57,511 --> 00:03:00,514 ♪ Give me England any time of year 55 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:04,518 ♪ Come on, everybody, raise a cheer ♪ 56 00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,270 ♪ Far and near, for the... ♪ 57 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:09,398 Hello. It's Timmy Lea, yet again. 58 00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:12,651 Now, only Sid could've come up with the brilliant idea 59 00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:15,154 of reopening a holiday camp in March. 60 00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:16,631 It was so cold, the Russians were trying 61 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,490 to send political prisoners there. 62 00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:22,536 And the wind, oh, you could hardly hear your teeth chatter. 63 00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:27,166 Ah, this must be the life, Timmy, eh? 64 00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:31,462 Entertainments officer at Funfrall Holiday Camp. 65 00:03:32,755 --> 00:03:34,965 Can you think of a better position? 66 00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:36,884 No, Sid. 67 00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:38,844 There's no doubt about it, Timmo. 68 00:03:38,928 --> 00:03:41,722 This time, I've really landed us in clover. 69 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:44,350 You've ain't half g***t a brilliant brother-in-law. 70 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,976 Yes, Sid. 71 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:49,647 But listen, er, shouldn't we, er, think about laying on something? 72 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:53,776 Relax, will you? Relax. 73 00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:56,237 The less we organise... 74 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,489 the less we've gotta do. 75 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,991 We're on a cushy number here. 76 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:10,292 Oh, steady on, darling. You nearly bruised Siddy's lips then. 77 00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:11,835 Sorry. 78 00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:17,424 Hello. 79 00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:19,426 Oh, Lionel's coming, Sid. 80 00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:21,303 Ah, that'll be the day. 81 00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:23,639 - What's up, Lionel? - I don't know, dear. 82 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:27,726 Rumor, that fickle jade, has it that the camp has been sold. 83 00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:31,021 And you are wanted in the office immediately. Ta-ra! 84 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:32,564 Sold?! 85 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,567 Oh! 86 00:04:37,403 --> 00:04:39,113 Hello, campers. 87 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:41,323 Don't forget to collect your packed lunches 88 00:04:41,407 --> 00:04:45,035 from the main restaurant for the magical mystery tour. 89 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,793 Hey, mush, where's Noddy? 90 00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:54,086 - Noddy? - Yeah. 91 00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:58,090 If, by any chance, you are referring to the previous owner, Mr Nudgeley, 92 00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:00,175 may I inform you that he has already departed, 93 00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:02,136 leaving you his best wishes. 94 00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,888 And for your information, I ** not "mush". 95 00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:07,099 I ** William Whitemonk, the new owner, 96 00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:10,352 late, but never in a temporal sense, 97 00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:13,731 of Her Majesty's Prison Dartfleet. 98 00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,859 What were you in for? Murder? 99 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,777 Rape? Arson? 100 00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:21,113 - I was the chief warder, lad. - Eh? 101 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:24,533 And I had better warn you, at the start of our relationship, 102 00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:28,120 that I can't abide whingers, cringers, whiners, skivers, 103 00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,413 malingerers or backsliders. 104 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,391 And I ** fairly certain that you're in that list somewhere. 105 00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:32,851 - Oh, no, I... - Smarten yourself up, lad! 106 00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:33,917 Disgrace to the uniform! 107 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,603 Get that scruffy vest off! Get a shirt on! 108 00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,546 - I ** going to get a grip, Noggett. - Yes? 109 00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,006 Henceforward, 110 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,383 there are only going to be two ways of doing things. 111 00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:43,719 - My way and the wrong way. - Right. 112 00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:45,804 Anyone who does not play ball with me 113 00:05:45,888 --> 00:05:47,968 will have no balls with which to play. Is that clear? 114 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,850 - Oh, yes, perfectly, sir. - Right. 115 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,786 According to this, you are the entertainments officer. 116 00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,747 - Yes, that's right. - Well, outline your programme, lad! 117 00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:54,855 Eh? 118 00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:56,648 - Oh, er... - Come on! Come on, lad. 119 00:05:56,732 --> 00:05:58,734 Well, er... 120 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,695 Well, er, we have the occasional sing-song. 121 00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:02,964 You know, when everybody's pissed. 122 00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:04,782 I mean, er, had a few. 123 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,409 - Sing-song? - Yes, sir. 124 00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:09,745 And then there's the, er, clock golf. 125 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,163 And the donkey derby. 126 00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:13,224 When we can get the donkeys, of course. 127 00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,209 And the fancy dress. 128 00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:18,087 Not very inspired, is it, Noggett? 129 00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:20,589 I think perhaps our parting of the ways 130 00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:22,591 had better come sooner rather than later. 131 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:26,804 And the beauty contest, sir. 132 00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:30,682 Beauty contest, eh? 133 00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,559 Tell me more, Noggett. 134 00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:34,937 Well, er... 135 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,313 Ah, well... 136 00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:39,233 it's only in the early planning stages, 137 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:41,026 as it were, sir, at the moment, you see. 138 00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:45,322 But I think it could be very big. 139 00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:47,699 I think it's g***t enormous... 140 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:49,743 publicity value. 141 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:52,246 I hope so, for your sake, lad. 142 00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:54,998 Because if this beauty contest doesn't go off with a bang, 143 00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:57,459 you will go out with a thud. Is that clear? 144 00:06:57,543 --> 00:06:58,961 Yes, sir. 145 00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:00,897 Now, then, according to this, you've g***t a... 146 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,589 - an assistant called, er... - Lea. 147 00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:05,175 Lea, Lea, Lea, yes. Now, where is he? 148 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:07,678 Oh,...