Down and Dirty Duck (1974) Charles Swenson.en Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:00,031 --> 00:00:02,448 (rock music) 2 00:00:34,213 --> 00:00:36,859 (upbeat music) 3 00:00:36,859 --> 00:00:39,599 (horse whinnying) 4 00:00:39,599 --> 00:00:42,182 (upbeat music) 5 00:00:47,059 --> 00:00:49,559 (car honking) 6 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:53,288 - Aw, thank you ever so much for watching 7 00:00:53,288 --> 00:00:55,862 another fine late night feature. 8 00:00:55,862 --> 00:00:59,480 I hope you enjoyed watching as much as we enjoyed 9 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:00,319 showing it to you. 10 00:01:00,319 --> 00:01:01,240 Right, Lightening? 11 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:05,070 Oh sure, Lightening enjoyed showing it to you, too. 12 00:01:05,070 --> 00:01:06,849 (laughing) 13 00:01:06,849 --> 00:01:07,947 (gun bangs) 14 00:01:07,947 --> 00:01:11,239 You be sure and tune in tomorrow for our action-packed 15 00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:15,190 late night movie, Dirty Duck. 16 00:01:15,190 --> 00:01:17,523 (screaming) 17 00:01:18,613 --> 00:01:23,613 (laughing) Now this is a story of a big dime insurance 18 00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:27,859 man gone berserk on a rampage of rape, 19 00:01:27,859 --> 00:01:29,970 murder, and mayhem. 20 00:01:29,970 --> 00:01:34,124 Oh, it's gonna be a nasty one, so you be sure to watch it. 21 00:01:34,124 --> 00:01:36,390 Lightening and I will be watching it. 22 00:01:36,390 --> 00:01:38,367 And now, good night, folks. 23 00:01:38,367 --> 00:01:39,780 See ya tomorrow. 24 00:01:39,780 --> 00:01:40,613 Right, Lightening? 25 00:01:40,613 --> 00:01:42,847 Now don't make-- (loud screeching) 26 00:01:42,847 --> 00:01:44,470 Don't make an old lady like-- 27 00:01:44,470 --> 00:01:47,128 Oh, (faint speaking). 28 00:01:47,128 --> 00:01:48,366 (woman screaming) (gun bangs) 29 00:01:48,366 --> 00:01:50,286 He says right too, folks (laughing). 30 00:01:50,286 --> 00:01:52,786 (piano music) 31 00:01:57,726 --> 00:02:00,309 (upbeat music) 32 00:02:02,170 --> 00:02:04,116 - [Willard] I don't prize the word cheap. 33 00:02:04,116 --> 00:02:08,020 It's just not a word of hope, it's not a word of cheer, huh? 34 00:02:08,020 --> 00:02:11,250 It is the badge of poverty, 35 00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:13,140 the signal of distress, huh? 36 00:02:13,140 --> 00:02:15,560 Cheap service means cheap mean 37 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:18,518 and cheap men mean a cheap country. 38 00:02:18,518 --> 00:02:23,518 - [Announcer] William McKinley, 24th president 39 00:02:23,660 --> 00:02:28,660 of the United States was shot in the back 40 00:02:28,820 --> 00:02:33,317 by an assassin with a cheap hand gun. 41 00:02:34,778 --> 00:02:35,611 Bang. 42 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,497 (rock music) 43 00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:53,355 ♪ Now this is a cheap little movie ♪ 44 00:02:53,355 --> 00:02:58,355 ♪ And I ** a cheap little guy ♪ 45 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:04,240 ♪ I'm going to abuse your eardrums ♪ 46 00:03:04,396 --> 00:03:09,396 ♪ I'm going to make fun of your eyes ♪ 47 00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:15,750 ♪ This old movie is a great big pile of shame, yeah ♪ 48 00:03:19,768 --> 00:03:21,614 ♪ But I'm glad to be with it ♪ 49 00:03:21,614 --> 00:03:26,233 ♪ And I'm proud to be a part of it ♪ 50 00:03:26,233 --> 00:03:30,746 ♪ Oh yeah, oh yeah ♪ 51 00:03:30,746 --> 00:03:35,746 ♪ Oh yeah, oh yeah ♪ 52 00:03:36,744 --> 00:03:39,840 ♪ It's great to have work in a movie ♪ 53 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:44,823 ♪ It's great to have something to eat ♪ 54 00:03:44,823 --> 00:03:47,056 ♪ Eat ♪ 55 00:03:47,056 --> 00:03:51,000 ♪ I could just be out doing sessions ♪ 56 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:56,000 ♪ Like all of the dots in the street ♪ 57 00:03:57,373 --> 00:04:00,830 ♪ It's true you may never understand ♪ 58 00:04:00,830 --> 00:04:05,830 ♪ What this film's about, yeah ♪ 59 00:04:06,645 --> 00:04:08,517 ♪ But I'm the guy singing ♪ 60 00:04:08,517 --> 00:04:13,331 ♪ And you're the dope who paid to find out ♪ 61 00:04:13,331 --> 00:04:14,997 ♪ Oh yeah, oh yeah ♪ 62 00:04:14,997 --> 00:04:17,496 ♪ Oh yeah, oh yeah ♪ 63 00:04:17,496 --> 00:04:22,496 ♪ Oh yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 64 00:04:25,115 --> 00:04:26,860 ♪ It's so cheap ♪ 65 00:04:26,860 --> 00:04:31,860 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 66 00:04:32,229 --> 00:04:35,925 ♪ Yeah, it's so cheap ♪ 67 00:04:35,925 --> 00:04:38,342 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 68 00:04:39,318 --> 00:04:41,691 (lamp clicking) 69 00:04:41,691 --> 00:04:44,964 ♪ Yeah, it's so cheap ♪ 70 00:04:44,964 --> 00:04:47,381 (soft music) 71 00:04:56,475 --> 00:04:58,058 - Willard, wake up! 72 00:05:00,707 --> 00:05:02,040 This is the day. 73 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,497 (soft music) 74 00:05:08,814 --> 00:05:10,981 (yawning) 75 00:05:14,557 --> 00:05:16,390 - Oh, this is the day. 76 00:05:18,397 --> 00:05:20,814 (rock music) 77 00:05:22,309 --> 00:05:25,256 ♪ Wake up, it's a beautiful morning ♪ 78 00:05:25,256 --> 00:05:29,496 ♪ Everything good is coming your way ♪ 79 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:33,314 ♪ Big smiles and sunshine ♪ 80 00:05:33,314 --> 00:05:36,846 ♪ And often been showing how it's going today ♪ 81 00:05:36,846 --> 00:05:39,464 ♪ You know, you better be there ♪ 82 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,667 ♪ Tonight, I'll see ya in Belize ♪ 83 00:05:41,667 --> 00:05:45,138 ♪ 'Cause it doesn't matter now ♪ 84 00:05:45,138 --> 00:05:47,549 ♪ This is the day that, you said it's the way ♪ 85 00:05:47,549 --> 00:05:52,549 ♪ That you know it's better here ♪ 86 00:05:54,192 --> 00:05:57,450 ♪ Whoa, it seems so amazing ♪ 87 00:05:57,450 --> 00:05:59,485 ♪ The feelings you feeling ♪ 88 00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:01,354 ♪ Seem to flow naturally ♪ 89 00:06:01,354 --> 00:06:04,804 ♪ And Willard, it's elementary ♪ 90 00:06:04,804 --> 00:06:08,602 ♪ When she smiles at you, it bet you smile back at me ♪ 91 00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:11,687 ♪ So don't you try too hard. ♪ 92 00:06:11,687 --> 00:06:15,069 ♪ You're about to cover just the way you are ♪ 93 00:06:15,069 --> 00:06:17,583 ♪ Now I'm sure you made ♪ 94 00:06:17,583 --> 00:06:21,263 ♪ You gotta find the things she can't forget ♪ 95 00:06:21,263 --> 00:06:23,128 ♪ No matter how she tries ♪ 96 00:06:23,128 --> 00:06:26,324 ♪ It's hard to describe her feelings inside ♪ 97 00:06:26,324 --> 00:06:28,660 ♪ When she looks in your eyes ♪ 98 00:06:28,660 --> 00:06:30,402 ♪ And tells you her lies ♪ 99 00:06:30,402 --> 00:06:32,362 ♪ The love in your eyes ♪ 100 00:06:32,362 --> 00:06:33,833 ♪ She loves when her thighs ♪ 101 00:06:33,833 --> 00:06:37,720 ♪ Just how happy these could be ♪ 102 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:42,720 ♪ This could be the day ♪ - This is the day. 103 00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:45,673 I'll do it! 104 00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,846 ♪ The day, the day ♪ 105 00:06:47,846 --> 00:06:50,050 ♪ This could be the day ♪ 106 00:06:50,050 --> 00:06:51,223 - I'll do it, yeah. 107 00:06:55,367 --> 00:06:58,683 I know it's the day, I can feel it's the day. 108 00:07:00,610 --> 00:07:02,763 This is the day I'll do it. 109 00:07:02,763 --> 00:07:03,596 (farting) 110 00:07:03,596 --> 00:07:06,263 (alarm ringing) 111 00:07:07,235 --> 00:07:09,568 (gun bangs) 112 00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:12,419 - Yes, Daisy. 113 00:07:12,419 --> 00:07:14,020 I'm coming! 114 00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:15,950 Oh now, don't get upset. 115 00:07:15,950 --> 00:07:17,715 I'm coming, dearie. 116 00:07:17,715 --> 00:07:19,715 Oh, that's a good kitty. 117 00:07:20,738 --> 00:07:23,410 - Oh, oh, excuse me. 118 00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:25,699 - Oh, good morning, Willard! 119 00:07:25,699 --> 00:07:28,637 - I'm gonna really do it today 120 00:07:28,637 --> 00:07:30,375 - Do it? 121 00:07:30,375 --> 00:07:31,953 - Yes, ma'**. 122 00:07:31,953 --> 00:07:33,454 - Do what? 123 00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:35,848 - Ask her out today. 124 00:07:35,848 --> 00:07:39,940 Today, I'm gonna ask her to marry me. 125 00:07:39,940 --> 00:07:41,747 - Oh, buy Willard! 126 00:07:41,747 --> 00:07:45,000 You haven't even spoken to her before. 127 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,643 - I know, but today is the day. 128 00:07:48,673 --> 00:07:50,670 (meowing) 129 00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,277 I knew it for sure when I was sitting on the-- 130 00:07:52,277 --> 00:07:54,883 Ooh! - Well, you shouldn't rush 131 00:07:54,883 --> 00:07:57,190 those things, you know. (cat yelping) 132 00:07:57,190 --> 00:08:01,350 - Yes, ma'**, I know, but it thought about this one 133 00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:02,183 a long time. 134 00:08:02,183 --> 00:08:04,760 - Oh, but Willard, she just started working 135 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,140 with you this week. 136 00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:09,813 - Well sometimes, sometimes a week is enough. 137 00:08:09,813 --> 00:08:11,813 - But it's only Tuesday! 138 00:08:14,919 --> 00:08:17,502 (upbeat music) 139 00:08:38,299 --> 00:08:41,382 (car engine choking) 140 00:08:45,344 --> 00:08:47,844 (rock music) 141 00:08:52,442 --> 00:08:53,725 (door slamming) 142 00:08:53,725 --> 00:08:54,944 (rock music) 143 00:08:54,944 --> 00:08:56,566 (loud banging) 144 00:08:56,566 --> 00:08:58,983 (rock music) 145 00:09:01,252 --> 00:09:04,002 (loud crunching) 146 00:09:05,007 --> 00:09:09,191 - It's only Tuesday! - Yeah, it won't start. 147 00:09:09,191 --> 00:09:12,812 - It looks fine. - But it won't start. 148 00:09:12,812 --> 00:09:15,083 (cat yelping) - Oh Jaysie, be careful! 149 00:09:15,083 --> 00:09:18,820 You almost hurt poor Willard and he's such a nice 150...